My Dark Angel
by Gary4eva
Summary: What would you do if a dream changed your life forever? Would you be brave and accept that change or would you run away from it? Bella's life changed one night when she had the most remarkable dream she could ever imagine. And now it seems it is coming true. All she ever thought she knew about love has been flipped upside down, and now it's her turn to decide what to do. A/U BPOV
1. The Dream

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns these characters

**A/N:** This is my first fanfic, I had My Dark Angel posted on here about 3 days ago, but the first chapter had some typos and a few things missing, so I deleted it and replaced it with the new and improved chapter. It will still have many flaws, I am still looking for a betareader. So if any of you are up for the challenge. I have finished the first chapter and the very last chapter, now I just have to create all that goes in the middle. I hope you enjoy this story and please review it. I could use the help, criticism, and guidance. Thank you.

**Theme song to this story is "What if this storm ends?" by: Snow Patrol (Part 1 of The lightning Strike)...I suggest you listen to it, perfect song for this story AND it is a FUCKING amazing song (pardon my french ;)). Oh and KEEP READING this story gets GOOD! Drama, love, heartache, jealousy, miraculous amazing dreams. It's kind of pretty freaking awesome lol. Thanks for reading and DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW BITCHES! (love you all) haha**

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Chapter 1 The Dream

**BPOV**

It was 4:00 A.M. and I had just woken up from the strangest nightmare I had ever experienced. I was in a black forest, it was nighttime, and the stars were brightly shining around the brim of the tall Evergreens. I saw Jacob; he stood about 10 yards from me in a patch of wet moss, waving in my direction. Only this silent wave wasn't in greeting, but in leaving. He was saying goodbye to me as if this was the last time we'd ever see each other. I didn't understand why he was leaving me; he never would. I felt worried and took a step forward towards Jacob.

A feeling of sadness washed over me as a girl entered the forest and walked next to him. I stopped in my tracks and watched as she placed her arm on his shoulder and stared into his dark brown eyes. He took her hand into his own and kissed her cheek.

I could not distinguish who the girl was; she was vaguely blurry and hidden by the mysterious dark night. Fortunately, Jacob was standing in a slim area of light gleaming from the vibrant full moon, which granted me the advantage of seeing his unspoken face. His tall muscular body was directed towards the girl and his strong face was facing her as well. He smiled his too familiar gentle smile to her, and then looked at me for the last time.

He turned his head to face me, though the gesture seemed like it was forced, as if the last thing he wanted to do was look away from her and look at me. His expression was of questioning, it seemed like he was asking me for my blessing of this girl who had just entered his life. He was asking for my understanding, for the expression on his face was a longing to be with her.

This dream, which was heartbreaking in the beginning, had now become a sinister nightmare. My heart flooded with pain as I acknowledged the hurt that rushed through my body. Jacob was all I had; we had been together since we were able to talk. Jacob had been the backbone and structure of my life; he was always there for me no matter what happened. A flash of the memories we had had together raced before my eyes: our first date, our first kiss, and the first time he told me he loved me. He said he would always be mine and that nothing would ever change those feelings.

I was his Bella, his heart, his life. But in this dream, it was certain that whoever this girl was, this violator of my life, had a pull on Jacob, a pull much greater than my own. He was gravitating towards her like a moon to a planet. No matter how hard he would try to leave her, he couldn't. But the face that this new Jacob held was not a face that wanted to leave; it was a face that would rather die a million gruesome deaths than take one strenuous step away from her. If anything came between them, he would fight it to the death and never let her go. She was his life now, and I could see it.

As much as it pained me to accept that fact, I had to. I knew I had to. I loved Jacob, but I wanted him to be happy, and if being happy no longer meant that he wanted to be with me, then I had to accept that. But I was too selfish.

Right when I was about to beg for Jacob to stay with me, another figure entered into this foreboding nightmare of mine. He too, like the girl, was blurry. I could not make out a face, but a sudden feel of relief filled my every aching bone. The pain of losing Jacob had melted away and a love for this new being covered all my invisible wounds. I was healed, by this dark angel who was haunting my dream.

I didn't understand why I was so attracted to him; after all I couldn't even see his face. But the feelings that swelled up inside me could not be ignored. They would not stand for it. I loved this being with every part of my body. And I would never want anything else, not even Jacob.

The world seemed to snap back into place and my mind cleared from the desperation and confusion. I welcomed this dark stranger into my life without a second thought. I was left with an instant longing for him. I thought I had loved Jacob, but nothing could have ever prepared me for a love this strong. I never knew a person could feel this way. He was my planet, and I was his moon. He would forever have his pull on me and I would forever gravitate towards him. I would never object to its force at which it held upon me. I was his, and he was mine.

Right as he took a step toward me, Jacob jumped in between us. Frightened by the sudden movement, I jumped back and watched in shock. Jacob was glaring at him with the strongest expression of distrust and hatred. His eyes burned for blood. I had never seen such dislike in my life. Jacob raised his arm as if about to punch the mysterious boy, and my eyes began to flood with tears.

I woke up panting, my heart was racing and I could feel a tiny puddle of warm sweat that had accumulated on my forehead. I wiped it away and tried to steady my breathing.

I have never in my life dreamt a dream so mystifying and confusing. It scared me to even think about the loss between me and Jacob. However, it was comforting to think of the love I had found with the mysterious boy who had healed the heartache. If only I could have seen his face; it would have been branded into my mind forever. How could I forget such a face, the face of my new beloved? But of course, this was just a dream, a nightmare that I could only wish to forget. This strange boy does not exist, even if I secretly desired him to with all my heart. I love Jacob, and the thought of even thinking about this new love would damage the current love of which I had for him.

He was my past, my present, and will be my future. The dark angel does not exist; therefore I cannot dwell on the possibility. The thought of it would only lead to pain and misery. But now, since I've felt this feeling of longing, I cannot imagine ever forgetting it. The strength at which it held me was astonishing and I was not ready to put it out of my mind. I never would have imagined such feelings could be possible, except in movies and stories that told of true love overpowering any other feeling in the world. Of course, this was a dream, and not reality.

I lay in my bed and let out a deep breath. I looked at the clock, 4:04 A.M. In four hours I would have to be at school and face Jacob. In four hours I would have to pretend that nothing has affected our relationship, even though in actuality it has. I cannot let this dream expel my feelings for him. I cannot allow it. What an absurd idea, to even think that a dream could have such an effect on my feelings for Jacob. _It wasn't even real for God sakes! _I thought to myself. How could I think such a thing?

I decided that going back to sleep would only cause even more trouble. I feared that I would see the dark angel again, that he would linger in my dreams longer than he should. His presence was warm and inviting, but I had to ignore it. I could not risk it, so I made up my mind. No more sleep tonight. I sat up from my bed and headed for the bathroom. Maybe a hot shower would wake me from this madness and clear my thoughts for a few minutes.

While rinsing my hair and splashing my face with warm water, I still thought about my dream. I couldn't help it; it was like the boy had some kind of power over me. No matter how hard I tried to avoid his control, my mind would wander right back into his grasps. I couldn't forget the subject. I wasn't allowed to.

I turned off the water and stepped out of the tub. It was freezing the instant I opened the shower curtain. Of course it would be; 4:00 A.M. in the end of January was always cold in Forks, Washington. I've lived long enough, 17 years to be exact, to know that it was always cold and always wet here, whether I liked it or not. While shivering, I quickly grabbed the nearest towel and wrapped it around myself. I rushed to my bedroom and pulled on my soft blue bathrobe. It was warm and comforting. I smiled as it touched my skin, the instant cold melting away by its warm embrace. I grabbed my hair brush and brushed through all the knots my brown hair was notorious for.

Once my hair was smooth and knot free, I sat on my disheveled bed. I looked at the clock, 4:31 A.M. it was still extremely early. There was nothing to do. And if I didn't do anything, I would think about my dream. I had to think of something.

I stood up and walked over to my computer. I sat in my desk chair and turned it on. I had forgotten to check my email last night, which made me sigh in relief. I finally had something to do. I decided to take my time and slowly read every single type of mail I had received in my inbox. I read through the spam, all the usual advertisements and scams, I clicked on the "click here to receive your very own brand new laptop!" and I even clicked where it said I could win a free trip to Hawaii by taking a simple IQ test.

I was completely and utterly desperate to waste away my time. As long as I wasn't thinking about _him_, then I would be fine. After reading my emails, I began playing a long and strenuous game of bubble shooter. It was game I always enjoyed playing when I greatly needed to pass away a few minutes. When I finally beat the game, I looked at the clock, 5:28 A.M. I could get ready for school now. Surely it was still quite early, but at least now it was reasonable. I could even make a huge breakfast to spend some more of my time. Charlie and Renee would love that, especially Charlie.

My mother Renee is a terrible cook, and my dad Charlie, poor Charlie, has had to eat and surprisingly live through all her terrible creations in the kitchen. When I have the chance, I try to step in and help my mother, or even take control over the whole meal and tell her to step out of the kitchen. She is usually grateful for these intrusions and loves when I offer my services. Though her odd concoctions and experiments with cuisine often frighten Charlie, being the gentleman that he is, he eats her disputable creations despite the possible consequences. Charlie believes that I have acquired my wonderful cooking skills from his side of the family, though Renee begs to differ. Nevertheless, every time Charlie mentions her talents in the kitchen, she always wavers and drops the fight, which allows Charlie to gloat in his win and smirk at his accomplishment.

My dad, Chief Swan, Head of the police department in Forks, is a very typical American man. He loves to go fishing, loves to win arguments, and certainly loves to watch football. His reward for winning those arguments is to lie on the couch and do nothing but watch Sports Center. He is easily pleased and is also the kind of guy that ritually lives by the phrase "less is more." I have always admired that trait about Charlie; I am never forced to tell him everything about my life. He listens to what I give him and is always satisfied, regardless of the details. He is also a huge fan of Jacob; my boyfriend, my love, and also the son of his best friend, Billy Black.

By the time I got dressed and fixed my hair, it was time to head down stairs and make breakfast. I started with a nice batch of fried eggs and bacon. The smell radiated through the whole house and I could hear Charlie stirring around in his room. He had to leave early to head for the station every morning. Being the head chief had always had its responsibilities, and having little sleep of course, was one of them. Luckily for him, I was making a delicious breakfast today to help him wake up. I had already started a pot of coffee that was almost finished brewing when I heard Charlie leave his room, feet pounding down the stairs.

"Mornin' Bells. You making eggs and bacon? I could smell it a mile away." Charlie lifted his face and inhaled the mouth-watering scent, "smells delicious," he smiled. He looked exceptionally pleased.

"Thanks Dad. It will be ready in a minute. I have already made coffee for you." I pointed to the pot sitting on the counter ready to be poured. Charlie grinned and walked over to grab a mug and filled it with fresh coffee, "Thank Bells."

I finished up with the eggs and bacon and grabbed a plate to fill for Charlie. He sat down at the small breakfast table as I sat his plate right in front of him. I then filled my own plate, covered the pans to keep the food warm, and then joined him.

Charlie shoved a mouthful of bacon in his mouth then looked at me, "So Bells…why are you up so early? I love when you make breakfast, but you never get up early unless you can't sleep? Anything wrong?" he then swallowed a lump down his throat and took a sip of his coffee, his eyes staring intently at my own.

"No…I'm fine…I just couldn't go back to sleep. That's all," I didn't want to tell him the truth, about the dream I had had. It was too personal and too complicated to be shared. It wasn't that I couldn't talk to Charlie about these things, it was just, I wouldn't ever tell anyone about this. It was my dream, for me only. I wouldn't want anyone to know; especially Jacob. He was the person I _had_ to keep this from; I _needed_ to keep this from. I couldn't fathom the possibility of ever telling him.

"Ok Bells, just checking," Charlie went back to scarfing down his food, a groan let out from his stomach in happiness and satisfaction. I couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" Charlie asked with a mouthful of eggs as he raised his eyebrows.

"You're enjoying this meal aren't you?" I smirked.

"You bet I am! It's not everyday I get a good homemade breakfast," Charlie finished the last bit of his bacon and then pushed his plate away from him. He let out a deep sigh and leaned back in his chair. "Thanks honey, that was good."

I laughed again and continued eating my own breakfast. Charlie got up and washed his plate off and placed it in the sink. He refilled his coffee mug and then sat back at the table. I heard the wood creak upstairs. "I guess your mom's awake," Charlie said with a smile. As he said that, Renee walked down the stairs in her pajamas and smiled at the site of me and Charlie.

"Good morning," she said in a pleasant voice.

"Good morning," Charlie and I said in unison.

"I made breakfast mom, help yourself. Eggs, bacon, and coffee," I pointed to the selection of food on the stove covered in their pans.

"I knew I smelled something yummy. Thank you Bella, you are such a sweetheart. Now I don't have to slave away in the kitchen and make something Charlie won't even eat," she smirked at Charlie and his face gave a shock expression.

"Now Renee, you know I always eat your food," he said defending himself.

Renee gave out a quiet chuckle and walked to Charlie, she kissed him on the forehead and then whispered, "But that doesn't mean you like it." Charlie didn't answer, he was lost for words.

He stumbled before speaking, "I…uh….your cooking is wonderful honey. Almost as good as Bella's," he laughed at his comment, thinking it was exceptionally clever. Charlie was terrible at jokes, but we always lead him on pretending they were hilarious.

"Ha Ha Ha….funny Charlie," she stuck her tongue out at him and he winked at her. It was always funny to watch Charlie and Renee interact. They loved teasing each other almost every second they had a chance to.

"Oh, you know I'm just pulling your leg…. But hey I got to head to work, love you two, and thanks again for breakfast Bells." Charlie gave Renee a kiss on her forehead then kissed mine as well.

"Your welcome dad," I quietly said to Charlie.

Renee and I said, "love you too," together and then Charlie grabbed his coat and walked out the front door to his cruiser. We listened as his engine roared and he drove off into the morning streets.

"So Bella, how did you sleep last night?" Renee asked, not showing any concern while filling her own plate of food, just normal behavior to a normal routine question.

"It was fine," trying to hide my worried tone of voice, I failed and Renee caught it. She stopped what she was doing and looked right at me with a concerned look.

"Is something the matter?" She asked, her eyes sympathetic.

"No everything is fine mom; I just had a bad dream last night. It's not like the end of the world or anything." I tried to look away so she couldn't see the lie in my eyes. Renee gave me a half smile, although it didn't touch her eyes. She was always good at figuring out my problems. She always knew when something wasn't right. I covered my face in my hair and cleaned the dishes. "I have to go to school soon mom, don't worry, nothings wrong."

Hoping that I had convinced my mother, she looked at me for a moment in deep concentration then gave up. "Alright honey, have a good day at school."

I finished with the dishes then grabbed my backpack and headed for the door. Renee met me there and held her arms out for a hug. As we embraced, she whispered into my ear, "If you need to talk to me, I am here. You can tell me anything." She let me go and I didn't say a word. I nodded and walked out the door.

"Bye mom, see you later." I shouted as I headed for my truck.

"Bye dear, I love you," she called after me.

"Love you too," I said as I jumped into my old red Chevy truck. I slowly backed out of the driveway and then pulled forward into the street. I waved to my mom and then headed down the road to Forks High School. Everything seemed fine until I remembered the dream.

_I can't believe I'm thinking about this again,_ I thought to myself.

As I pulled into the school parking lot, a picture shot across my face, _Jacob_. His face was the longing face again. In an instant my heart sped up. _I have to face Jacob._

In reality this whole dream was silly. It couldn't possibly change my feelings for Jacob. It wasn't real. It was just a dream after all. _Just a dream_. I kept repeating those three words in my head over and over again. _Just a dream_.

I parked into the closest spot to the school and cut off my engine. I sat in my seat and breathed in and out, slowly trying to collect myself. I grabbed my backpack and reached for the truck's door handle when I looked up and saw him.

_Jacob._

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I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, please let me know what you think. Again, I am looking for a beta reader! Thanks again, and review!


	2. The Decision

**A/N: **This is chapter 2, The Decision, I hope everyone enjoys it. I am already writing chapter 3 and I can't wait to get that out for my readers. Please tell me what you think, I would love some reviews and to hear everyone's opinions. I am sorry if I have grammatical errors, etc... it is not perfect.

**ATTENTION: I am still looking for a beta reader. So please, if someone can stand up to the plate and help me out, that would be wonderful. Thank you. **

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**My Dark Angel**

**Chapter 2**

**The Decision**

Jacob was waiting by my truck for me like he always did every morning before school. He grabbed my door and opened it, knowing how clumsy I was he never chanced me multitasking – carrying books and opening a door at the same time was something I sometimes found difficult. For any other normal person, that simple task was no problem, but for me, big problem.

"Hey Jake," I said as he grabbed my backpack and held the door open for me. I took the moment to admire his body as I stepped out of the truck. He had grown so much this past year; it was astonishing just to experience the drastic change. One day he was barely taller than me, and the next he was a whole head above me. It literally felt like I could _see_ him growing. He was incredibly muscular too, every part of his body defined to the fullest. Not to mention he was permanently tan, no matter what season it was, he was the beautiful bronze I had always known him to be. Unfortunately, I am amazingly pale, which contrasts me and Jacob to extremes. He looks like the sun and I end up looking like death. Sometimes it would bother me how different Jacob and I were, but he never seemed to mind, or even notice. Jacob was Jacob, if he liked something, he'd stick to it.

"Hey Bells," Jacob said as he dropped my bag to the ground and pulled me in for a bear hug. His hugs were always so warm and inviting, I appreciated every single one of them, but not this time. This time I felt guilty for this hug. I suppose the reason for my guilt was because of the dream. I felt like I had gone behind Jacob's back and committed a crime. Even though I hadn't, I still didn't feel right when he hugged me. It was as if I didn't deserve the hug, but I couldn't help it.

I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let me. He held onto me even harder then slowly pulled his face away to look at mine. _Oh man! Why now?_ If a hug made me feel guilty, what was a kiss going to do? I cleared my mind and kept telling myself there was nothing to feel guilty about. I didn't do anything wrong, I had a dream, that was all. Like I told Renee, _It's not like the end of the world... Everything is fine. Just breathe._

Jake's strong smooth lips caressed my own and I forgot everything that I was thinking. I welcomed the warm kiss and let it allow my mind to wander. It was a stupid thing to have done because right when I let it free, I saw him. The boy. He was standing in front of me in the forest. My mind was showing him out of pleasure, I had tried to bar him up inside my brain but he forced his way out. He escaped my prison and flew through my head with such force it hit me like a brick. I quickly shifted my head away from Jacob's without even thinking. Anything to get rid of the image.

"What are you doing Bella?" Jacob asked surprised, I realized what I had just done and instantly apologized to him.

"Sorry! I don't know why I did that." I tried to mend the situation. I didn't know if Jacob took that as a slight form of rejection or what, but I was not prepared for what he did next.

"Don't you apologize baby; sometimes I underestimate my own skills. Are you prepared now?" Apparently Jake took my abruptness as a form of him dazzling me. If any other situation, I would have laughed, but what he did next expelled every bit of that possibility. He leaned forward with a smirk on his face and pulled me in for another kiss. _NO!_ I can't see _him_ again! As a reflex, I instantly jabbed Jacob in the face, again without even thinking of what I was doing. Usually when he said these things and grabbed me for another kiss I would roll my eyes at him and say something like, "yeah right Mr. Stud, keep thinking that," but this time was different, a whole punch in the face different.

"Sorry!" I shouted as I jumped from realization and shock. I couldn't believe I had just punched him. What is going on with me? I couldn't understand why I was reacting this way; it was ridiculous.

"Ow! What was that for? Why are you being so feisty?" Jacob held his nose pretending it was hurt. I knew I had punched him, but I also knew that I was terrible at punching in general, which would have rendered the fact that he wasn't even hurt. He just wanted a chance to tease me like always. "That really hurt Bella, I might have to get stitches," he continued to complain to me about the tremendous pain he was in.

"Stop being such a cry baby Jake," I said to him, trying to force a stern face as I looked at him, though inside I was laughing. He was really funny to watch when he tried to pull the baby charade, but I knew better. "You aren't even bleeding."

"Oh really? Are you a doctor now Bella?" He said, the teasing was definitely apparent. "I'm sure I would know if my own nose was bleeding," he continued to ramble on.

"Jacob, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. You aren't bleeding; I have come to the conclusion that you are a big baby, end of story," I said slightly annoyed, but having some fun now. He was cute when he did this, annoying, but cute.

As Jake kept rubbing his nose, the warning bell rang to get to class. I grabbed my bag while Jacob shut my car door. We walked to first period together, which we both had, 11th grade literature. I loved writing, I especially loved reading, and I loved everything to do with literature. My favorites were the workings of Jane Austen. Her romances were always beautifully written and never failed to make me cry. How Austen captured the essence of love was magnificent, she truly had a wonderful talent.

Jacob and I sat down in our normal seats, middle of the classroom, not too close to the teacher and not too far away either. My friends Angela and Ben sat right behind us, they were dating like me and Jake, except they have been together for only a year now. Jacob wasn't really friends with them; he didn't really have many friends at this school to be quite honest. The main reason was because he just transferred to Forks High School last year. He had previously attended school on the Quileute reservation, but he decided he wanted to spend more time with me, resulting in his decision to transfer. He loved his old school and his friends at La Push, but he loved me more and would rather be with me all day then with them. Every once in a while I would catch him staring out the window in class looking into the woods surrounding the school, wondering if he was lonely. Not lonely in a relationship sort of way, but lacking his friends kind of lonely. I could see that he misses them, and I've told him I'd be fine if he went back to his old school, but he refuses. He constantly tells me that he would never want to leave me here and that he could see his friends anytime anyways. For the sake of argument I would always agree with him and drop the subject.

The late bell rang and Mrs. Elmore walked towards the door to close it. Mrs. Elmore is a new teacher; she had just transferred to Forks from San Antonio, California. She hates the cold and wet even more than I do. It was one of the few things we hand in common, besides our love for literature.

The tall, young, slender woman began closing the door when Mike Newton suddenly ran into her from the hallway. She was holding a stack of papers as he collided with her, but not anymore. They were flying everywhere and Mike was frantically trying to catch the ones still flowing in the air. "S-sorry," he said nervously as he handed her one paper he was able to catch. Mrs. Elmore gave him a very sullen look as she snatched the paper from his hands. He took that as a sign to sit down in his seat and not talk for the rest of the period.

"What a marshmallow," Jacob whispered into my ear with a smirk on his face. I couldn't help but laugh, which caused Mrs. Elmore to glare at me. I stopped in that instant, she must have thought I was laughing at her while she was picking up the rest of the papers. The last thing I ever wanted was Mrs. Elmore to hate me.

When she finished collecting the fallen papers, she spoke to the class for a few minutes about an assignment and then sat down at her desk. Apparently we were supposed to study with each other for a test on a short story we had read earlier in the week. Tomorrow was Friday, I hated taking tests on Friday, but this one didn't bother me much. I already knew every possible detail about the story, so there was really no need in studying. Jake on the other hand could use the help, but he never truly cared. Instead we would always sit and talk the entire class until the bell rang for second period.

"Hey Bells, next weekend there's gonna be a bonfire down at the Res. You wanna go?" Jacob asked excitedly, "Quil and Embry are dying to see you," Jacob nudged me in the arm with his shoulder and gave me a teasing look. His two best friends Quil and Embry had always liked me. Not in a non-friendly kind of way though. However, they always liked having me around. I considered them to be two of my closest friends. Whenever Jacob, Quil, Embry, and I hung out, we always had a blast. Every second would be filled with laughter. After we were done spending time together, our stomachs would be soar from laughing so hard. It always comforted me to know that Jacob had such good friends. He was surrounded everyday by people who loved him and cared for him, which made me very happy to know.

"Yeah I wanna go, did you really have to ask?" I said sarcastically. He usually just drags me along to places even if I don't want to be there, so for him to ask me was a bit of a surprise. "And I can't wait to see Quil and Embry, I miss those two." Jacob laughed at my comment and smiled at me.

"They are gonna be thrilled," he grinned. Jacob loved bringing me to La Push, and I loved going. There was never any conflict when we had to be there; I was always more than willing.

"I bet they are," as I said that, Mrs. Elmore sat up from her seat and began talking to us again.

"Alright, now that you have had time to prepare yourselves for tomorrow's test, I will now pass out some additional key terms that you will all need to know," everyone groaned when she said the word "key terms." My classmates were absolutely lazy, and did not want to do a single thing when it came to literature. It was like they honestly did not care for school or anything inside its walls.

As Mrs. Elmore passed out the papers, everyone began to pack up their belongings. The bell would ring any second now. As I grabbed a paper, it sounded and I was left scrambling to finish packing up. Jacob was already done and prepared to go to his next class, Spanish. He waited for me patiently like he always did, knowing that only rushing me made me even more uncoordinated.

I finally finished packing up and noticed that most of the class was already gone walking to second period. Sadly, I didn't have Spanish next with Jacob; instead I had trig with a very talkative Jessica Stanley.

Jacob and I left Mrs. Elmore's classroom and headed down the hall for our classes. I hadn't talked to Jacob much at all today. I tried not to, until I could completely clear my head. The memories of the dream still lingered in my mind. No matter what I did, I couldn't get rid of the images. The boy would be forever frozen into my memory, even if I tried my hardest to remove him. It was impossible. The feelings I felt for him have completely blocked what I felt for Jake; it was like I couldn't remember my love for Jacob when I thought of the love for my dark angel. He was everything, stealing my heart like a thief in the night. He wouldn't surrender it, but he couldn't surrender it, because it was his. My heart belonged to him, or so it felt. But I can't think this way, my heart belongs to Jacob. It always has and it always will. Jacob is real, Jacob exists. I am only hurting myself by imagining this illusion to be real, this fantasy that I cannot escape from. Why must I feel this way? Why must it be so difficult? I made up my mind years ago - Jacob. It always felt right, the feelings I had for him. But this new feeling for this stranger was stronger, _this_ felt right._This_ felt real.

As I stopped outside of my room, Jacob looked at me with complete contentment, which only caused more pain inside of me. I couldn't show it, I would always keep this secret from him. But how he could he be so happy while inside I was dying. Everything I had ever known about relationships and love had been thrown out the window the instant I woke up this morning. He could never know, or else it would hurt him to think I might love this fake being more. And the last thing I would ever want to do was hurt Jacob. He is my everything, or at least he was.

"I'll see you later," he whispered to me as he pulled me in for a hug. "I love you."

"I love you too," I said, but I couldn't bear to look into his eyes. I buried my face in his shoulder until he released me. Then I walked into class.

"Bella!" Jessica Stanley yelled to me from inside the room. Her brown eyes were beaming at me. She was sitting at a desk near the front of the room, waving for me to come sit by her. She flipped her shiny brown hair and started to smile.

I walked to her and dropped my backpack at the desk to her right. "Hey Jessica," I said, confused as to why she was so jumpy and energetic.

"Oh my god Bella, guess what just happened?" She blurted out as I was sitting down.

"What?" I tried to answer with the most anxious face I could possibly form. Jessica knew everything about everyone at our school. She was like a fly that flew into everyone's business, always uninvited. It was good however, to talk to her. For one, she did most of the talking, I could always get away with a 30 minute conversation saying only 3 words and nodding my head when I talked to her. She was so self-absorbed, as long as someone was listening, she was satisfied. Two, if I ever needed to know something about someone, Jessica was the person to go to. She would tell me every possible detail of every possible situation. She was constantly the first person to know the newest gossip, and always the first person to spread that gossip. And three, Jessica didn't bother me with questions. She never could tell if I was sad or in pain, she only saw what she wanted to see, and that was good. I was never forced or obliged to tell her anything. She didn't bombard me with a thousand questions, I was truly grateful for that when it came to Jessica.

Having her be so unobservant to certain things was useful when I was feeling the way I was right now. If I was talking to Angela, she would have already guessed something was wrong. She knew me too well. Though Angela is one of my best friends, she like Jessica, doesn't ask me questions unless I am willing to answer them. Unlike Jessica, Angela respects my privacy. Angela doesn't ask questions out of consideration and understanding, Jessica on the other hand doesn't ask questions because it takes away time from talking about herself. If she ever wanted to talk about me, it would be about boy issues, which I have never had any, until now. I could only hope that Jessica didn't understand.

"Bella! Pay attention!" I shook my head and remembered that I was talking to Jessica.

"Oh, sorry Jess, I must have zoomed out. What did you say?" I tried to sound apologetic, or else she'd give me unnecessary attitude.

"Yeah you zoomed out! I was telling you that Mike Newton asked me out!" She opened her mouth wide into a smile. "He wants to go to the movies tomorrow night." I tried to be happy for Jessica, but I honestly couldn't. I had too much on my mind.

"That's great Jess! I'm so happy for you!" I forced out a smile and attempted to use my ecstatic voice. Apparently it worked because for the next 20 minutes Jessica rambled on about her and Mike._"I've liked him for so long…I didn't even think he liked me…..Do you think he will ask me to the dance?...I can't believe we are going to see…..Does this mean he wants to be official?...Oh my god!"_On and on she kept speaking, which gave me time to think, time I didn't want to think.

I went back into my daze, slowly drifting into daydream territory….There he was, my stranger. His face still blurry, but it didn't even bother me. I instantly smiled thinking of him. _Stop! _I thought to myself, _this is not good! Stop! _But I couldn't help it. I kept dazing off into oblivion dreaming of this boy in the dark forest. He stood there, my heart beating faster and faster. Then Jacob appeared. He was looking at me, his face filled with sadness. "_Bella, don't,"_ he said to me as I began to reach for my dark angel. _"Please don't,"_ he pleaded. I reached for the stranger, _"Bella!"_ Jacob yelled now. _"Bella!"_ Everything began to spin around me as I touched the boy. _"Bella!"_ was all I could hear.

"Bella!" His voice was louder now, as if Jacob was right next to me. "Bella!" only it wasn't Jacob's voice anymore. "Bella! Wake up!"

As I heard those words, my eyes snapped open and I lifted my head up. I could hear ringing in the background. "Bella! It's time to go!" Jessica was yelling in my ears. I guess I fell asleep while she was talking. I looked at her face, hoping I hadn't offended her by doing so. But when I looked at her she just looked irritated, not mad. "Bella, seriously hurry up, you're gonna be late."

I shot up from my seat and grabbed my backpack. "Thanks Jess," I said as I dashed out of the room.

"Uh….you're welcome!" She yelled to me while I zoomed down the hall. The rest of the day went by slowly. I went to lunch and talked with Angela and Ben who always sat with me. Jacob didn't have my lunch, which was a slight relief. I had a fresh dream of the boy in my mind and I didn't want to do anything else that would make Jacob suspect something was wrong, like punching him again. I left lunch and went to my next class, biology.

I sat by myself in that class, mainly because I was the smartest one there and didn't want to sit with anyone that was going to use me for my A's. Also, I didn't really know anyone in that class; a few people like Mike and Eric were in there, but no one else. Besides, everyone was already paired up, best friends with best friends. My best friends weren't anywhere near that room, therefore I was stuck alone. Loneliness didn't bother me though, sometimes I valued the isolation. My life was full of people and the few minutes to myself a day were greatly appreciated. I'd actually feel bad if anyone ever sat next to me in biology. I would probably not say a single word to them; I would want to keep that quietness. I knew it was selfish, but I didn't care. Sometimes in life you have to be selfish to get the things you want, the things you need, and the things you deserve; my sanity was one of them.

Biology went by quickly; Mr. Banner made us take a quiz on the structure of cells, which I completely aced. I hadn't studied the materials, but I paid attention in that class very well. Of course when you don't talk to anyone, your time can be spent in a limited amount of ways, listening to the teacher was my favorite. It was that or daydreaming, though I would try to doodle, most often it never turned out well. So daydreaming and listening were left. Today, I could not daydream; with all my inner strength I could not allow myself to do it. I had to listen to Mr. Banner.

Luckily, when we finished taking our quiz, Mr. Banner gave us a packet on red blood cells to read. I took my time and absorbed every word I read. I would stay focused and think of only the reading. It worked. Time was flying by and I didn't think of the boy.

The bell rang and I sulkily left the classroom. There was only one class left for the day, gym. Oh how I dreaded gym. I am completely uncoordinated in every way possible, if someone asked me to do a simple jumping jack, somehow I'd find a way to trip and fall. Whether I tripped by an object or even my own feet, it was bound to happen. For that reason, I hated gym; there was no stopping my clumsiness.

I changed into my workout clothes and stepped out onto the gym floor. The volleyball net was up. _Damn, _I thought to myself. I hate volleyball, and for good reason. I am terrible.

The last time I played the game, I spiked someone in the face while serving the ball….on another court. I gave the person a nose bleed, and I never saw them near me in gym again. I wouldn't have expected them to stay close anyways, but their behavior made me feel terrible. After that incident, I noticed the people around me began to steer clear of me as well. I couldn't blame them; I was a walking accident, a living liability. I was more than happy that people finally realized the dangers of being next to me in that class. I didn't try to make friends in there, it was useless. No one wanted to be close enough to me to even talk to me.

And then there was Mike. Mike Newton, the blonde football player who's talented at all athletic activities was always near me. He was average looking; well actually he was your average good looking high school male. He stood out to most high school girls, but not to me. Jacob stood out to me, and I never noticed anyone else but him, until last night.

I could only imagine the face of my angel. Does he have brown hair, blonde, or blue eyes, maybe green? I didn't know his face, but in my heart I had a feeling he was gorgeous. After all, I may not be sane, but I do have good taste. And if I am in love with this unknown boy, he must be very handsome; I could only imagine.

Our gym teacher, Coach Hoff, blew his whistle to begin class. He explained to us that we were going to play two on two volleyball today. _Great._ Now I have to make some poor innocent person be my partner. No matter who it was, they were in for a ride.

Just then, Mike walked up to me with a big grin on his face.

"Hey Bella! You have a partner yet?" He looked at me with an encouraging expression. Maybe if I was partners with Mike we'd actually balance each other out. We certainly wouldn't be the best team, but with his skills, we could be decent. As long as I hit as little as possible and stayed as focused as possible, we would be fine.

"No I don't," I replied. Mike's face lit up at my response and he looked very hopeful.

"Great! We can be partners! I'm great at volleyball!" He said excitedly, of course he was, he was great at all sports.

Glad that he wanted to be my partner, I took him up on his offer, "That would be awesome, but are you sure? I'm terrible, I'd rather ask the coach and see if he'd let me sit out today." In the back of my mind I had wished no one would want to be my partner and that the class was odd so I'd be forced to sit out. Unfortunately, it was a perfect even number and Mike was more than happy to be my partner, making me have to play.

"Yeah, of course, no problem. We are partners Bella, no second thoughts!" He seemed too eager on being my partner.

Jacob always disliked Mike. He always thought Mike had a thing for me ever since freshman year. He was probably right, but I always told him that Mike didn't like me, only as friends. Either way, Jake never believed me.

Mike and I began to play. We won the first 2 games, but the third one we lost. I had tried to stay in the back as much as possible, but then the last team decided their best chances were to always hit the ball at me instead of where Mike was. They definitely acknowledged our weakness and took advantage of it. Thankfully, Mike wasn't mad at the defeat; he was actually having a really good time. It seemed he took me being his partner as a challenge, an opportunity to show how good he was at the sport. He thrived on it. I admired his competitive attitude, to an extent.

Gym finally ended, I changed back into my regular clothes and then began walking to my truck. Jacob was waiting for me there, leaning on the driver's side of the door, arms folded casually. I was hoping he had to hang out with Quil or Embry today; I couldn't handle being too close to him for a long period of time, afraid that images of the boy would flash in my head. I needed time to clear my mind and focus on reality. I needed to grasp my emotions and try to decipher what was going on with me. Why did I have this dream with Jacob and those two others? Does it mean something? Is my subconscious mind trying to tell me something? I had no idea. I had no answers, only questions.

"Hey Bells, how was school today?" Jacob asked me as I reached my car. He held his arms out for a hug and I accepted them cautiously.

"Hey Jake, school was the same, boring and uneventful like always," I sounded completely bored and exhausted. Though I really was tired from gym and an agonizing day of thinking, I didn't want to seem like I was upset. Jacob would begin to ask questions. "How was your day?" I added with a smile. _Good, play it cool, _I thought. _Be happy._

"It was fine. It would have been better if I saw you more, other than first period," He looked at me then placed his chin on top of my head. He inhaled my aroma and sighed. He let go of his embrace but still held my hands. "I don't want to leave you, but I have to go over to Quil's house. He needs to talk to me about something, he say's it's gonna take a while," he sighed again and then brushed my hair off to the side of my face.

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow then." _Thank God. _I felt terrible for being so happy that Jake couldn't hang out with me today, but it was a great opportunity to figure things out. Now I could go home and think, I could escape from the stress and let my mind explore its options. Even though there really were no options: stay with Jake, or fall in love with an imaginary person. Most likely I was going to choose Jake, unless I was insane, which lately I have been considering.

"I love you Bella, don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." He laughed and kissed me on my forehead.

"Ha ha, I love you too," I replied with an annoyed smirk on my face. He was right though, I shouldn't do anything stupid. There were two things that I was about to do that were considered being stupid: one, going home to think. If I went home, I would think about the boy and I would think about the feelings in which I had for him. In doing so would be very stupid. And second, I would reconsider my feelings for Jacob, if number one should apply. I could not do either, I shouldn't even allow it, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop it. The thoughts of him were overflowing my mind, and the thoughts of Jacob were slowly disappearing, one by one. The boy was all I wanted, but I had to stop it.

Jacob left me and went to his old Rabbit, a car he had recently fixed up. Jacob had many talents, and one of them was being able to fix anything mechanically. He was incredible at it. He could turn the crappiest of cars into a beautiful running work of art. As a matter of fact, the truck I currently drove used to be his. He reconstructed it a few years ago and gave it to me as a surprise from Charlie who had bought it from Jacob as a present for my 16th birthday. I was intimidated by its size and age at first, but after driving it for a while I have come to love and appreciate its bulkiness and strength. The truck was a very safe vehicle to drive in and I trusted Jacob's skills completely. I never had a doubt in my mind about his constructing abilities, he learned from the best, generations after generations of Quileute men building and repairing things. They passed their ancient skills down; learning from their ancestors, learning the way of the warrior.

He drove off into the murky roads of Forks, where I then collected myself and jumped into my own car. I sat my backpack down onto the passenger seat then turned on the radio so that I could fill my mind with lyrics instead nonexistent human beings. It worked for most of the time, but every now and then while driving home I would see an image flash in my head, the boy. He would somehow find a way to stay in my mind and never leave. Why was he doing this to me? I was happy with Jacob. I would always be happy with Jacob, but this new boy was like an awakening. I had to figure it out; I had to know what it meant.

When I arrived home I was surprised to find that no one was there. Renee and Charlie were no where to be found. I called out for them but only silence responded. As I called again, I walked into the kitchen and stumbled upon a note on the counter.

_Bella,_

_Your dad and I are going out in Seattle tonight. There is a big basketball game he is forcing me to attend with him. We will be home late so don't stay up and wait for us. You need a good night sleep. Do your homework and behave. We love you._

_Mom_

I wondered why she or Charlie hadn't told me about this earlier. Usually they'd let me know before they headed off someplace, but this time they didn't.

I wondered about the words "_You need a good night sleep."_ Renee was always sending me subliminal messages. Sometimes she was so confusing to understand that whatever she told me usually consisted of double meanings and riddles, but why? Maybe my mother knew me too well; maybe she knew I needed time to think and to be alone. After considering the way she had acted this morning, the idea of her knowing what was going on became very realistic.

When I considered that thought, I realized that Charlie probably didn't drag her out to go anywhere. The situation was most likely vise-versa. Charlie loved basketball, but he wasn't much for actually going to the games. He'd rather watch it on his comfy couch with a beer in his hand then have to sit in a loud crowded area with a bunch of strangers. That was Charlie, but not the person in this note.

Either way, I was glad Renee did this. She couldn't have chosen a better time for me to be alone. I really did need to think. I also needed to do my homework; I had loads of it assigned to me today.

I went upstairs and sat at my desk. I unloaded the contents of my backpack and began what seemed like a never ending amount of homework.

By the time I had finished, I was worn out. It was late, around 10:45; I had taken a few breaks in between assignments, mostly to get a snack and to also stay focused. But now I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was fall into my bed and sleep. Even though I wanted sleep very badly, I was afraid that if I'd go to bed, I would dream of the mysterious stranger. I was afraid that he'd resurface into my thoughts and invoke certain emotions that I tried to hide inside of me. I had dreaded it all day, but I couldn't avoid it any longer.

To distract myself, I decided to take a shower before going to bed. I jumped into the warm water which stimulated my mind. I was less groggy and was thinking clearly. Maybe a shower was a bad idea, because now I could think perfectly of the boy. I quickly finished my shower and dried off. I brushed through my snarls and dressed into an old t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

It was time. I stood at the front of my bed and stared. _Sleep… but the boy, _I thought, _I_ _need sleep._

I was fighting an inner battle within myself. Which side should I let win? The side that yearned for sleep and secretly desired to dream of the angel? Or the side that so desperately needed to stay awake and forget the fantasy all together, for Jake's sake?

I panicked. I couldn't stop staring at the bed; I was frozen in a state of silence. I didn't know what to do, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out which side to take. I felt like I was going crazy, like an insane person trying to decide whether or not to jump out a window to see if they could fly or to stay inside the hollow shabbiness of their wretched asylum. The decision, as simple as it was, could not be decided. It was a decision that could change my life. The decision.

Suddenly, my mind made up its mind. The boy flashed before my eyes and I fell onto my bed; giving in to a deep slumber I awaited for my dark angel.

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I hope you all enjoyed that, please review! I need the help, criticism, and guidance. Thank you!

**Remember I need that beta reader!**


	3. The Meadow

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephanie Meyer does.**

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter, I was planning on making it longer, but I just wanted to get it out already. Please review, I would love to hear everyone's opinion on this. There is so much to the story, it will get so good within the next few chapters, I can't wait to finally introduce you know who. I am still looking for a beta reader, until I find one, my story will be roughly written, so please bear with me. Thank you for reading and enjoy!**

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 3

The Meadow

I was in a place I had never been before. It wasn't the same dark woods that had haunted my dreams; instead it was a place of beauty, a place of wonder. This new dream was a surprise to me, for it held nothing of the essence of a nightmare. All my fear had vanished and I was covered in awe. I looked around me; I was surrounded by a circle of tall trees of many different species. Inside the circle was a large area of wild flowers and moss which covered every inch of the open ground. Daisies, roses, lilies, honeysuckle, all kinds of wild flowers blossomed along the wide stretch of open grass. I was amazed at its beauty; I had never seen anything like it. The moon was shining brightly in the clearing, glistening around the stars in all its glory and magnificence. I could hear the owls cooing in the trees, and I could hear the beating hearts of animals nearby. There was a stream flowing close by and I could hear its steady pace as the water slowly flowed down its jagged paths. It was a meadow in which I stood. The most beautiful meadow I had ever seen and ever could have imagined.

The fragrance of my surroundings took control over me and I closed my eyes in complete satisfaction. There was a cool night breeze that blew through my hair and I lifted my head to inhale the sweet aroma. The emotions that swelled up inside me went overboard. I felt love, happiness, excitement, peace, and a million other emotions that could express any wonderful feeling a human being could ever have. If it was a good emotion, I was feeling it.

I never wanted to leave this place; I'd rather die than be forced to wake up. I wanted this to be my reality so badly. Every ounce of my body yearned for it to be true. But it wasn't. I opened my eyes as the soft breeze ended and lowered my head.

There he was. My dark angel.

He stood on the outskirts of the meadow, standing next to a tree in its deep shadow. He was dark and mystifying and a sudden urge to run to him waved through my body. I could still not see his face, but I could feel he was staring at me. He took a step closer to me, a spot that was still in shadow awaiting his movement. He moved with such grace, I couldn't help but be in awe of his agility. He walked a few more steps forward, still in the shadows of the trees surrounding us.

He stopped abruptly, his body facing me. He then gently reached down to the flowers and laid in them. His face was towards the sky, staring into the stars. I laid down where I stood, yards away from him and stared too. As we looked into the night, I could feel a wave of electricity between us. It was as if being in this meadow was bringing us together, our feelings for each other grew stronger and stronger as the moments went on.

The sky suddenly lit up, it was a meteor shower. Meteor after meteor flashed before our eyes in a beautiful symphony. They danced in a beautiful synchronization that only God himself could have created. The sound of my beating heart was racing, I could not look away. I so desperately wished to see his face, but he would not leave the shadows, and I would not dare to disturb his peace. If he wanted to be hidden, then I would allow it. I would do anything for him, at least in this dream I would. The night began to calm down and the stars were shining brighter than ever before. They blazed in the atmosphere as if they had been set on fire.

I found the strength to look at the stranger; his face was turned to mine, though I could only see the outline of him. I wished so very much to be able to look into his eyes. Why did he have to be hidden? Why did he have to be in the shadows?

He suddenly stood up from the ground and faced me, still as graceful as ever. I rose as well and mirrored his position. We were still yards away from each other, but I could feel his pull on me. I wanted to walk towards him with all my heart. I wished in all the world for him to be close to me. To feel his touch and to look into his mysterious eyes would be a joy I could not describe.

I began to take a step towards him when all of a sudden a loud noise erupted in my ears. I stopped in my tracks, looking around me to see what had disturbed the peace that I had finally found. There was nothing, nothing that I could see that had caused the obnoxious noise still echoing in my ears. I turned to look at him. The boy was gone. He had vanished from the meadow as I had looked about. Slowly the meadow disappeared as well, and the noise began to intensify.….

_Damn, _I opened my eyes. It was my alarm clock_._

I woke up panting. My heart was still racing from the dream. I quickly reached over to my alarm clock and hit the snooze button; the last thing I wanted to do was wake up Charlie and Renee.

I stayed lying in my bed and looked at the ceiling. I began to think about the dream. The dark angel and the meadow, so beautiful in the night, vanishing without a goodbye. I wondered how it would sound to hear him say his goodbyes. I could only imagine his voice to be the sound of an angel, so beautiful it could make anyone cry. How I wished to go back there and hear him, see him, touch him. But I couldn't.

Suddenly a wave of guilt rushed through my body. _Jacob. _Oh Jacob, why was I doing this to him? I cannot allow him to suffer because I am becoming insane and falling in love with my dreams.

The realization of the pain I was in had resurfaced. I love Jacob, and I am tearing our relationship apart with these dreams. My dark angel does not exist and I am only setting myself up for disaster and disappointment. I am setting Jacob up for heartbreak. He would be crushed if I chose the insane route and told him I loved a dream more than I loved him. I wouldn't allow myself to do that. I would never want to ruin what Jacob and I have, especially for a silly dream, a beautiful dream, the most amazing dream I have ever had. _Stop! _I protested within myself. I need to stop this. I can't keep thinking this way.

Jacob is my life, no one else; especially not some made up boy whose face I have never even seen before. I will not give up Jacob. I love him too much…. But I love my dark Angel too. _Stop! _Why am I doing this to myself? I am willingly torturing myself. This is masochistic. This is insane. What is wrong with me?

I needed to clear my head, but every time I tried, I thought of him. There was no solution. There was no way out. No matter what I tried to do, someone was going to get hurt. Whether it would be me who hurts from losing someone or something I love, or whether it be Jacob who loses the Bella he loves. I cannot do it. I cannot deal with this.

One cannot exist without the other. And with that said, I see only one possible solution. Jacob will be the love of my day, and my dark angel with be the love of my night. If I can't let either one of them go, then I am not going to force them to go. They will co-exist like the Sun and the Moon. One cannot exist without the other, without the sun there would be no day and without the moon there would be no night. I have made my choice, and I will not choose otherwise.

Right as I decided that, I felt a sort of power overflowing in my body. I had found a resolution, and I was proud of myself. The feeling made me feel triumphant, like I could take on anything today.

With that said, I stood out of my bed and marched to my dresser to get ready for school. _Today will be a good day. _I knew it would, I could do anything.

I finished getting ready in top speed. I was downstairs in no time and still had a good whole hour to make a quick breakfast for Charlie and Renee. I decided to go with scrambled eggs, sausage, and toast. It was quick, sufficient, and delicious, and would certainly make Charlie happy.

I grabbed the egg carton out of the fridge and cracked 8 eggs into a pan. Charlie was a hungry eater, usually I would put 10 eggs in for just the three of us, but I decided to cut it down today. Charlie shouldn't eat too much; he needed to stay in tip top shape to be the Chief of police, and if eating a little less would help, then I'd do it. Either way, I was making plenty of sausage and toast for him. He couldn't go hungry even if he tried.

As I got the food going and popped some bread into the toaster, I quickly started brewing some coffee. The aroma of the kitchen was growing and my stomach began to growl at the delicious smells. I didn't eat much last night, just the occasional bits and pieces of snacks during my homework crunch. I was so tired that I didn't care to eat; I just wanted to sleep in my warm cozy bed.

I was flipping the sausage in the pan when I heard someone walking down the stairs.

"Hmmm…breakfast again Bells? I'm getting lucky." Charlie walked in with another smile on his face, he was already dressed for work, ready to go at any minute. He looked at the stove top and inhaled the warm scent of sausage and eggs. He really loved my cooking and it was certainly apparent in his smile.

"Yeah, you are getting lucky, I should probably never cook again for a couple years just to balance out your good fortune," I smirked at him and he gave me a happy snicker. Charlie went and filled a mug up with coffee while I finished the cooking.

The food was done and I turned all the burners to a simmer to keep them warm. "Alright breakfast is ready," I said, and Charlie lit up. I grabbed him a plate and dished him out a good size portion of sausage, eggs, and toast.

Charlie sat down at the table and awaited his meal. I placed it in front of him as he groaned with happiness. "Sweet Jesus this looks good!" As he said those words, he dug in and shoved mouthful upon mouthfuls of food into his face.

I smiled and grabbed my own plate of food. I began to eat when Renee walked downstairs. "Breakfast again Bella? You are spoiling us." She said happily as she walked over to the kitchen and kissed me on the forehead. She grabbed herself a plate and joined us.

"This is delicious Bella," Renee said as she placed some egg into her mouth. I couldn't agree more. This breakfast tasted amazingly good. Whether it was because I was a good cook, or I was just starving to eat, I didn't care, it was absolutely wonderful.

We didn't have much of a conversation at the table this morning, everyone was enjoying the food too much to stop and talk. I didn't mind, I enjoyed the silence and usually Charlie did too. Renee on the other hand was difficult at times to shut up, but today was no problem. The happiness that transcended through the room was amazing. I truly felt at ease; my stress over that past day had been relieved. I had found out a solution. I could only hope that it would work to my advantage and not tear me down to the deepest pits of regret. If this plan were to blow up in my face, I would not know what to do. I would think of something later, but now I would soak up this happy image and bask in it as long as my thoughts would allow.

Charlie finished eating first; he cleaned his plate off, said his goodbyes and then headed to work. Renee kept eating while I got up and washed the dishes.

"So Bella…did you sleep well last night?" My back stiffened at her words and I forced myself to not look at her face.

"uh….yeah actually. I slept very well," I said hesitantly, I might as well tell what truth I could. I didn't want to lie to Renee, but I couldn't tell her every possible detail of what was going on. She would think I was crazy, falling in love with an imaginary boy that was making me question my love for Jacob. I finally found a solution, and I couldn't stand to have her input on it, making me less sure of myself. I knew she would make my resolution sound stupid, she'd make me question my feelings and have to choose. That's what she always did. There was no best of both worlds for her, either pick something or don't pick it at all. But like I said, I am too selfish. I might as well take both while I can, hoping that no one will get hurt in the process. All I can do is hope.

"That's good, I'm glad to hear that. You seem like you've cleared your mind of a lot of things, things that were troubling you?" Renee squeezed out that last sentence as a question, trying to dig out any information she could from me. I wasn't going to budge though, at least not today. I wasn't going to fall for her dirty tricks that made me subconsciously tell her everything going on in my brain. She loved when I told her my issues; to her, picking through my thoughts was like a game, a challenge. She wanted to win it and be conqueror of Bella's mind, but no one could do that. It was impossible. I always believed that I thought unlike everyone else, like I was different, wired differently in the head. I thought I was on a different wavelength than everybody else. For my mom to decipher my thoughts and feelings would be a miracle. It would be a job even God would find difficult to do. I was different, I was odd.

"Yeah, I guess. I've had a lot on my mind lately," I fell for it; she was slowly entering my mind. I had to stop and keep her out. She would try her very best to budge through the wall I had built in my head. She would try with all her power, but I wasn't going to break. I would not allow it.

"What's been going on?" Renee asked trying to sound very considerate and warm. I permitted myself the chance to look at her, which I soon regretted.

Her face was in a sad expression. She was trying to play the puppy dog eyes. The eyes that longed for someone to love them, she tried to play that innocent card, but I wasn't going to fly for that one. I knew Renee too well. I knew her tricks. If I didn't comply on the puppy eyes, I would have to face her begging.

Sure enough I was right. She saw that I wasn't going to speak, so she began to beg. "Please Bella, tell me what's been on your mind. I am your mother, I want to help you through whatever it is that you are struggling with. You can trust me. Please."

I fought inside myself to resist her pleading. _You can do this, don't tell her anything…..tell her, she will help you…..no, you can't, she will think you are crazy….she's my mother…._

I kept arguing with myself until I finally came to the conclusion of what I was going to say. "Mom, I do trust you, but trust me right now. I will tell you everything when the time comes, but please, please just let me figure this out on my own."

Renee was surprised at those words, but her face quickly slid into an expression of understanding. "Ok honey, I understand. Take your time."

Relief washed over me and I was glad she stopped playing the twenty questions game. I wasn't ready to tell my mother. I wasn't ready to tell anyone. This would be my little secret; no one would ever know about my dark angel. If anyone knew, they would think of me as a crazy woman and send me to the closest institution in Washington. I couldn't afford that, my life depended on it. Did I want to keep secrets from Renee? Of course not, but this was a secret that could not be bartered with, no matter how much I wanted to give in to her begging. I had to be strong; I had to resist.

I finished the dishes and was almost all too willing to leave the house. I wanted to breathe in the fresh air, smell the wet moss that surrounded the outside, and take in the scent of clean, freshly poured rain. I was glad to leave the house; I was glad to see Jacob.

I grabbed my backpack and yelled out the door, nearly running to my car, "Bye mom, love you!"

I heard her goodbyes being called after me as I jumped into my truck and turned on the engine. It roared and thrummed as I pressed on the gas pedal and backed out of the driveway. I pulled forward onto the road and sped to school.

_I can't wait to see Jacob, _I kept thinking to myself. I can now be with him and not feel guilty. Yes, I was basically cheating on him with my dreams, but in my insane brain it was ok. I accepted the fact that I could not live without either one, so the guilt left completely when I realized I couldn't let either one of them go. I knew that I loved Jacob, and I accepted that I was falling in love with the mysterious boy. If I wanted to be happy and not hurt anyone, including myself, then I had to keep both of them. For the sake of Jake's feelings and for mine, I had to keep them. I wouldn't force myself to make a decision that would hurt me beyond repair or destroy the love between me and Jacob. I accepted my resolution; therefore I would do whatever I could to be happy about it. If losing guilt were to suffice this decision, then let it be. I cannot be happy if I am guilty, and if I am guilty and unhappy, Jacob would be as well. It is better to embrace the joy then to ruin everything that we have created for ourselves out of love.

I pulled into the parking lot and saw Jacob already waiting for me by his Rabbit. My face lit up with joy, as did his. I parked right next to him, turned off the truck's engine, and nearly threw myself out of the truck and into his warm arms.

"Bella! What has gotten into you?" He said with a loud chuckle.

"Jake! I am so glad to see you! I love you so much!" I closed my eyes and smiled, placing my head on his shoulder and resting in complete peace.

"And I love you Bells, I am so glad to see you too," he was still laughing. He pulled my face to his and gave me a soft loving kiss. It felt to good tasting his lips on mine. The sweetness of his breath and the warmth of his tongue felt absolutely wonderful. I couldn't remember the last time I had wanted a kiss from him so badly. The kiss intensified and my heart began to pound. Jacob broke his face free from mine, breathing for air. My breathing was unsteady like his, trying to control my pace and my heart rate. I looked into Jake's dark brown eyes and smiled. He looked into my chocolate brown eyes and matched my emotions. I was finally happy again since the stressful day yesterday. We were happy, and that's all I could ever ask for.

Today was a new beginning. I could feel it; a new chapter in my life. I had two worlds now; the world with Jacob where I was safe and warm and loved, and the world with my dark angel where I was happy, at peace, and in beauty. Both worlds I loved, both worlds I would keep. No matter what would happen, I would always have them both.

_My worlds_, I smiled as I was wrapped in Jacob's arms. _My worlds_.

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sooo...what did you think? I hope you enjoyed it! Remember to review! And find me a beta reader! Thank you!


	4. The Bonfire

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters, I do not.**

**A/N:** I hope you enjoy this chapter, we are getting closer and closer to the opening of you know who's appearance. I can't wait to start writing with him in it! As you can tell, I am still writing without a beta reader. I would love to have one. If you are one or know one, please let me know. Thank you.

**P.S.** Please read and review, criticize, admire, guide, and help me with my work. Thank you.

* * *

My Dark Angel

Chapter 4

The Bonfire

The next week went by in a blur, except at nighttime. Every night I dreamt of him. Every night I closed my eyes and waited for him to appear, to meet me in the meadow that we shared so secretly. It was _our_ place, _our_ secret. I've never really had a place with Jacob, a place where we could just go and be together. We had never really shared something so special in that kind of way. Jacob was more straight forward with his love, but this boy whom I've come to adore was different. He expressed his feelings for me in such eccentric ways that I didn't know what to do or how to respond. I could feel his love for me without even having to touch him or see his face. The feeling was deep, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

I met my dark angel in the meadow every night for the past week, smiling when he showed up, and frowning when I woke up. He was my comfort in the night; a guarantee well rested sleep. Every day I woke up rejuvenated and exited to begin what the world had in store for me. Every day I woke up with the feeling of wanting more, yearning to go back to sleep and see him, to hear his breathing and to watch him as he stared at the stars. I was happy, and he brought that happiness to me so effortlessly it was a joy just to be near him.

Of course Jacob made me happy too, he was my sun. He could make me smile on any day. I could be completely depressed and yet somehow Jake was able to make me laugh, or show some kind of smirk on my face. It was his gift, and I fully appreciated it. Though Jake made me happy, this stranger made me passionate. He made me more loving and brought out the compassion and fire that rested deep inside my heart. With him I was alive, I was on fire. I was yearning for him, desperate for more.

Dream after dream we got closer. It was only I who moved closer to him; we were only a few feet away from each other now in the latest dream that I had had. Every night I'd take a step closer, still watching him as he stood in the shadows for protection. He was lucky it was night, as for me, I hated his luck. Recently, I decided to do anything to see his face, to finally unveil who the dark boy was. Unfortunately, all my attempts never worked.

One night I tried to run to him, which only caused him to disappear into the darkness. My heart stopped at that moment and I decided I'd never attempt that try ever again. When I retrieved my steps and stood where the dream had begun, he slowly came back, walking into the shadows and eventually laying on the ground. The happiness that swelled inside me could not have been more prominent, my heart began to beat again. I was smiling the widest smile when I saw him return. It felt like a part of me was lost when he left, but when he reappeared I was whole again. I was in pain as I watched him run away, rejection filling my heart, but he healed me the instant he came back. I was in complete peace, I was assured of his presence and I could never be so stupid to try something like that again. It felt amazing to be with him in the meadow, absolutely amazing.

For most of the night, we'd stare at the stars together; they were beautiful and deserved our adoration. My heart would skip beats ever so often as I took a look at his mysterious figure. Electricity would run threw my body when we laid down, every night it got stronger as I got closer to him. It felt like the most amazing sensation I had ever experienced in my life. It was magic, and I could feel it.

We didn't do much in the dreams; it would seem like it took forever to spend all night there, but to me it went by quickly, too quickly. It was odd how the dreams sort of realized it was time for me to wake up. The sun would begin to rise and the boy would stand, still residing in the protection of the trees. His body would be facing mine, and for what felt like eternity we would share a moment of exchange. The feelings of goodbye and see you again would run through me and I accepted his leave. He would run off before the sun could expose him and I'd then wake up; I sometimes tried to linger in the dream, hoping that he might come back, but he never did.

Either way, I would see him the next night, and that always gave me hope. I had become obsessed with this dark angel, and he was one of the highlights of my day, or shall I say night.

It was Friday afternoon, school had let out and everyone was ready to party and celebrate the weekend. I was at home resting in my bedroom waiting for Jacob to pick me up for the bonfire at the Quileute Reservation. He had been so excited for the past week about it. Every day he'd go on and on about how Quil and Embry were going to have some kind of contest between each other. I didn't ask for details, but Jake told me he was betting money on Quil. Whatever it was, I couldn't wait to watch; it was guaranteed to be a laugh.

Right at that thought I heard a knock on the front door. Jacob was here. I heard Renee answer and invite him in. I quickly fixed my appearance when I heard him coming up the stairs.

"Hey Bells, you ready?" Jacob asked excitedly as he slowly entered my room.

"Hey Jake! Yeah I'm ready," I said, smiling at him as he walked over to me and hugged me. It was amazing how a simple hug from him could make me automatically smile. He didn't even try; it was just a Jacob thing.

He lingered in the hug, smelling my hair and groaning at its scent. "God, you smell so good Bella." I couldn't help but laugh.

"Thanks, you smell pretty good yourself," I said with a slight giggle. Jacob placed his hands in my hair and pressed his lips to mine. For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. He was such a wonderful kisser, even though I've never kissed anyone but him. I really couldn't judge it, but to me he was amazing. He slowly pulled his face away from mine.

"Alright little lady, let's get out of here," while smirking, he took my hand and led the way downstairs.

"Bye mom! Bye dad!" I shouted as we walked through the front door. I heard my parents yell bye and to be back at a decent hour. To Charlie, a decent hour was like 9:00 o'clock; luckily Renee talked him into letting me stay out later. Without her, my life would be hell. I could only imagine living with just Charlie, which would be interesting, especially seeing him raise a 17 year old girl all on his own. He would have no idea what to do. I laughed to myself at the thought.

We were in Jacob's car now, driving through Forks in the dark. I always loved the nighttime; it was so mysterious and magical. Anything could happen at night, its beauty was immense and I adored it. The stars were one of my favorite parts about the late evening. Their light shining over the vast darkness, capturing the beauty of the night, it was something spectacular. Sometimes I even wished that people stayed up during the night and went to sleep during the day, but only sometimes. I did enjoy the sun, of course I did, its warmth and brightness felt so comforting and rejuvenating. But I could never doubt my love for the night; it had a strong power that reminded me of my dark angel, always pulling me in and getting lost in the moment.

We pulled into La Push and saw the nearby bonfire blazing in the darkness. I jumped out of the car as Jake cut off the engine. I was so excited to see Billy and Quil and Embry that I nearly tripped and fell while pacing towards the fire. "Hurry up Jake!" I yelled while he was still exiting the rabbit.

"Calm down Bells, they're not going anywhere," Jake exhaled with a chuckle. He loved that I was just as excited as he was to see everyone together. I hadn't been down to La Push in weeks; I missed it and everyone that lived there. It was a second home to me; I had known it my entire life and I never hated going there.

Jake caught up to me and held my hand; we reached the fire and were greeted by the welcoming crew.

"Hey Bella! Hey Jake!" Quil and Embry both said together, if I hadn't known any better, I would have thought them brothers. They were exactly alike in so many ways.

"Hey guys, come sit by the fire with us," Billy Black said as I high-fived Embry and Jacob gave Quil a noogie. I looked around and noted all the people here: Sam, Emily, Sue, Leah, Seth, Paul, Jared; they were all Quileute descendants, always together, always cheery and happy. Even Sue, Leah, and Seth were happy though their husband/father Harry had died no longer than a year ago due to a heart attack.

I remembered that day; it was a sad and malevolent day. Charlie had known Harry for years; he was one of his best friends. I was cliff-diving for the first time with Jake when I found out. Jake had already jumped into the water, he of course was a pro at it and was waiting for my turn. I hesitantly prepared myself for the jump. As I began to leap off the cliff into the cold water, my foot slipped and I began to fall. I didn't take enough force while leaving the cliff's top and I was falling in the target of rocks below. I quickly covered my head and hit the surface. I was knocked out cold. The next thing I remembered, I was on the shore and I could hear Jake calling my name frantically, trying to get me to wake up. I slowly opened my eyes, feeling very dizzy, and coughed out water, my left arm stung and I realized it was bleeding. All of a sudden Sam came running near us, yelling to Jacob, "Get her to the hospital, Harry's had a heart attack." Jacob froze where he was, his face in shock.

He quickly collected himself and picked me up, my left arm shot in pain and I screamed. My head was flying in circles, pain shooting through it in strange intervals as well. Jacob was very careful as he carried me into his car and drove me to the hospital. The doctor told me I had broken my left arm and that I had had a concussion. I was lucky to be alive, if my arm hadn't blocked my fall, the outcome would have been a lot worse. Jacob had saved me, he swam to me before I even landed in the water, he saw that I didn't jump far enough and right as I was falling he frantically swam towards the rocks. He saved me and brought me to the shore, using CPR and trying to wake me up, anything to keep me conscious.

It was horrible timing that day; I didn't want to have attention on me while Harry had just been brought to the hospital struggling to survive his own fate. Unfortunately the fight was too hard for him. In the end, someone died that wretched day, a loving father, a devoted husband, and a loyal best friend. I wasn't even able to attend Harry's funeral, I had to stay at home and rest.

I was selfish that day, I caused my father to go through so much agony; losing his best friend and almost losing his only daughter was too much for the man to deal with. I would never forget it. From then on, I promised myself I would never do anything reckless like that ever again, for Charlie's sake. Seeing the agony in his eyes as he saw me lying in that hospital bed was pure torture. And seeing Jacob's eyes filled with guilt and pain was equally unbearable. To this day he still blames himself for what happened. He has never forgiven himself.

Every time Jake sees the scar I have on my lower left arm from the injury, his face always fills with the greatest sense of remorse. I can't take it when I see it, I have to look away from him, it hurts too much.

Jacob sat me on his lap as he found a sturdy log to sit on. He barreled my cheeks with kisses and squeezed me to his chest. I loved him so much, but lately I was questioning our relationship. I told myself I could have the best of both worlds, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it could never work. I have to choose one, I can't be selfish like I always am, it only ends in someone getting hurt. And I am tired of hurting, and tired of hurting the ones I love. I would choose, eventually, but now I would just relish in the beauty of the evening and take in the essence of Jacob.

As the night went on, we told stories of the Quileute tribe, roasted marshmallows and weenies, and watched as Quil and Embry wrestled each other. I was right, it was going to be hilarious. Jake betted $10 on Quil while I betted $10 on Embry. I should have known the outcome. Somehow Quil ended up winning and I coughed over my $10 that I owed to Jacob. The night had been wonderful, and it was just getting started.

"Hey Bells, come take a walk with me," Jacob said as he reached for my hand, his eyes were bright and shining and I was mesmerized. We walked along the beach, talking, telling jokes, and laughing. We were acting like the Jacob and Bella everyone knew us to be, loving and fun. We kicked the water near our feet and playfully chased each other, splashing each other's limbs and getting them wet. Jacob grabbed me and held me tight to his body.

"I love you so much," he whispered to me.

"I love you too," I reciprocated.

Right then, something flashed in front of us in the dimly lit night sky. A second flash happened, and a third, and then a fourth. It was a meteor shower. I had seen it before, yes somewhere I had seen it before. It was all too familiar, but I couldn't remember where.

"Bella look!" Jacob pointed to the sky, "isn't this awesome? It's the Lyra meteor shower. It only comes once around every 90 years or so." He gleamed at the sky with such passion and amazement.

I finally focused on the site, and I was stunned. I stopped in my tracks and stared at the sky with sudden realization. I had seen it before, and now I remembered. The meadow. I was with my dark angel when I had seen it. The beauty of the meteor shower blazed before my eyes when I laid in the flowers with him.

Could this really be happening? Could this possibly be real?

"Bella, you ok?" Jake shook my arm, but I didn't respond. I only whispered.

"It's so beautiful." A smile shot across my face, and I was frozen in time. Its beauty radiated through the sky and all parts of my body filled with immense and pure pleasure at the thought of the memory. It was absolutely magnificent, how could something bring so much passion and beauty into my life? I loved every bit of the sky's power as it had the strange ability to hypnotize me. I was forever in awe.

"I know," Jacob whispered back, he lied on the ground and pulled me next to him. We watched in wonder as the meteors shot by, our eyes in a daze, and our hearts in a race. It was the exact same as the dream, the only difference was the place and the boy. A part of me, which I am ashamed to say, wished that there was no difference, that I was in the meadow right now with the that dark and mysterious boy. But I wasn't and it made my heart sink. Nevertheless, I was happy to share this wonderful moment with Jacob. If I couldn't be with my dark angel, then I wouldn't want to be with anyone else other than Jacob.

This was a new revelation. I had to question myself now, I had to. What else could I do?

When the site was over, Jacob got up and lent me a hand. I rose and we walked back to the fire together, smiling with happiness.

"What are you two smiling about?" Paul asked with a smirk on his face.

"We just saw the most beautiful thing anyone could have ever imagined," I simply replied.

"Oh, the meteor shower. I didn't pay attention to any of that. I find it boring staring into the sky for longer than 10 seconds." Paul stated unattached to the topic. How could he not pay attention to _that?_

"Shut up Paul, that site was beautiful," Leah added, elbowing Paul in the arm.

"Ow!" He said, gritting his teeth. "You know, if you weren't a girl, I would smack you in the face right now." He said to Leah snarling.

"Ha, I wish I was a boy so I could fight you and watch you lose!" Leah chortled, which only made Paul angrier.

"You know what Leah-" Paul didn't get to finish his sentence, Billy interrupted him.

"Quiet down you two." Billy said, trying to keep the peace. Paul grimaced at Leah and she stuck out her tongue at him and smirked.

The night lasted a little longer; we played a few simple games and talked to one another. When everyone began packing up and leaving, Jake and I said bye to everybody and walked to his car.

"I'm glad you came tonight, everyone loved seeing you here, especially Quil," Jacob laughed and nudged me in the shoulder.

"Ha ha, very funny. But yeah, I'm glad I came, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," I said happily. It was true, they were the best company I knew, the best company I had.

Jacob and I stayed for a few minutes longer then said our goodbyes to everyone and headed for his car. We sat in his Rabbit and Jake started the engine. While driving down the streets to my house, I couldn't help but think about the meteor shower. Was I dreaming? Or could it possibly really have happened? But how? I dreamt it for heaven's sake! And now it's real! How? _How?_

I thought I was going crazy. I literally felt like I had lost my entire mind. _Damn it Bella! You're seeing shit now! You are crazy! _I knew I was. I had to be, there was no other explanation for what had happened tonight. It was impossible; to dream something and then have it happen in real life _exactly_ how it happened in the dream was absurd. It was unheard of, impossible. I must be crazy. To be insane would be a comfort to me. Anything would be a comfort to me instead of this damn mystery! It was so confusing.

_First the dreams, now this? Why? _I must be on something! These things don't just happen. _They do in my world._ At least, they do in my mind. Why must my mind be so different than everyone else's? This was torture, pure cruel and unjust torture!

We finally reached my house and Jake turned off his car. I sat in my seat, thinking, confused to the point of exhaustion trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Bella, you alright?" Jacob asked touching my cheek with his warm hand. I looked at him and his big brown eyes stared at me with concern. I couldn't tell him what was going on, and it was so frustrating to keep secrets from him, especially this one.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired." I lied. He brushed my cheek and smiled at me.

"That really was something Bells." He stared out the window and up at the sky. I knew what he was talking about, and I couldn't agree more. But damn it! This was too difficult.

"I know, it felt so real." I said with a confused expression, thinking hard.

"It was real Bella." Jacob chuckled looking back at me. "What are you thinking so hard about?" He smiled, now brushing my hair behind my ear. I looked right at him and changed my expression, covering it with ease and removing the questions.

"Oh nothing, just thinking about how I lost that bet," I snickered at him, trying to change the subject. He was taken aback and began to laugh.

"Bella, you're never going to beat me in a bet, stop thinking too hard about it kiddo, it's over, I won, you lost." He grinned at me and I folded my arms and began to pout.

"You cheated." I said and Jacob roared with laughter. He loved when I pouted, he loved to aggravate me. Though I didn't care, I was glad about the change of the mood and environment. This subject was much better than the previous one.

"How could_ I_ cheat? I didn't even fight?" He was shocked, bemused, and loving every minute of it.

"I don't know! Maybe you tipped Embry off!" I tried to defend myself. If Jacob was laughing before, he was belting it out now.

"Wow, Bells. Wow. Just get over the fact that I won and you didn't. Just admit it." He sneered in triumph.

"Never."

"You sure about that?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Definitely." I knew what was coming, but I said it anyways.

"Alright, you asked for it."

Jacob grabbed me and his face lit up. He then began to attack.

"Stop Jake! Ha! Stop!" I giggled in between each word. He was tickling me, and I couldn't stop it.

"No Bells, you asked for it! Just say it!" He said laughing as he tickled me harder and harder, easily finding my most ticklish spots.

"Never!" I yelled stupidly, I knew it would only get worse.

He then tickled me to the extreme, my body was going crazy and I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Say it!"

I refused. He tickled harder.

"Say it Bella!" He laughed.

Still no answer, only laughing and gasping for breaths.

"Damn it Bella!" He brought his worst. I could feel my body dying from the tickling, too much. It tickled too much!

"Ok! Ok! You win! God! Fair and square! Stop now, please!" Jacob let me go, breathing heavy.

"Man that was a work out."

"Tell me about it." I said exhausted. Right then the living room lights turned inside my house. "I hope Charlie didn't see any of that."

Jacob laughed and nodded his head.

"I better go, Charlie will probably come out any minute."

Jacob laughed and nodded his head again.

"I'll see you soon, call me tomorrow."

"I will Jake." I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"That's all I get?" He smirked, and waited for me to kiss him on the lips.

I laughed and gave him what de desired.

"Thank you. Now get out of my car." He said politely with a smile, as polite as Jacob Black could get, I raised an eyebrow, "Please," he added.

"That's what I thought," I smiled triumphantly. I opened the car door and got out. I walked to his side of the door and gave him one more kiss on the lips.

"I love you," he said completely happy.

"I love you too." I said back.

I then walked into the house, hearing Jacob as his Rabbit drove off, and walked into the living room. Charlie was sitting on the couch with Renee.

"Did you have fun?" Renee asked.

"Yes, it was great. I am so tired though."

"Did you watch the meteor shower?" she asked wondering. Why was it that everyone knew about the meteor shower tonight but me?

"Yeah, it was beautiful. Did you two watch it?"

"I did, I dragged Charlie out to see it too, but he got bored after a minute and walked back inside," she nudged Charlie on the side and he scoffed at her. Renee laughed.

"The game was on!" Charlie defended.

"There's always a game on Charlie!" Renee argued. "Always!"

"Not my fault," Charlie mumbled under his breath. Renee glared at him and I laughed.

"Well I'm going to bed, goodnight you too. Don't kill each other while I'm asleep." Charlie snickered and Renee just smiled at him.

"Goodnight honey. Sweet dreams," she said.

"Goodnight Bells," Charlie said.

I walked up stairs and almost fell onto my bed I was so exhausted. But I couldn't fall asleep right away, there was too much on my mind.

Why was a part of my dream coming true? Was it supposed to mean something? That could not have been just a complete coincidence. It was too similar, because it was exactly the same. There has to be some kind of meaning behind it, but what? If my dream could possibly become real, what were the chances of my dark angel being real too? This could not be happening. I am crazy, and that is it, but I couldn't help but hope in the back of my mind that it really was true. That my dark angel was real and maybe he would show up unexpectedly in my life as well.

I closed my eyes and wondered. I slowly crept into my subconscious and dreamt. I saw him there. I was in the meadow again, and he was there, waiting for me. Except this time felt different, it felt real. I had to fight the urge to run to him or to pinch myself and wake up. _He couldn't be real_, I kept thinking, _He couldn't._

Just then, I could have sworn I saw him smile at me. His face was still hidden, but somehow I could have sworn it was a grimace. For a second, I thought I saw a glimpse of his face, but it was so fast I couldn't register anything. I was only confirmed that he had smiled at me, a devilish smile at that. I couldn't help but think that he was onto something. I didn't care of his intentions; I only wished that he was real. I wished I could run to him and lie in his arms. How I yearned for that extravagance, but I could never have it. Realization sunk in and my heart fell. I stared at him in longing, hope filling me and falling at the same time. It was overwhelming. There was a chance that he was real, but I could only hope I wasn't setting myself up for disappointment.

The sky lit up and we both looked at the same meteor shower. My head spun and I was caught in a state of ambience. I held onto this high for as long as I could, fearing that it would all crash down on me soon enough.

My dark angel could be out there. All I had to do was find him.

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**What did you think?**

**A/N:** I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. It was fun writing it, I have recently been inspired for the next few chapters, so they should be out within the next week or two. Please let me know what you think about this story. I value everyone's opinions and greatly appreciate when people take the time to write me a review. This is my first fanfic and I would love people to help me out with their thoughts and guidance. Thank you.


	5. Edward Cullen

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters.**

**A/N:** Okay, so I wrote this entire chapter in a day. Wow, talk about inspiration. I already have the next chapter basically lined out in my mind. I can't wait to begin writing it. The ending chapter is already finished so I guess you can say I am pretty anxious. I hope you enjoy this chapter, there are some very similar lines in here that are from Twilight FYI so I am just warning you. Also, I am still looking for a beta reader. If anyone is interested, please let me know. Please review this story, I really need some feedback. Thanks.

Also, I had a ton of musical inspiration for this chapter, many songs by Aqualung, The New Moon score soundtrack, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 score soundtrack, and many more.

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 5

Edward Cullen

_Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first, sometimes the first thing you want never comes, but I know that waiting is all you can do, sometimes. - Strange and Beautiful, Aqualung_

I was listening to Strange and Beautiful by Aqualung on my bed as I lied there thinking. I was thinking about Jacob and I was thinking about the boy. It seemed I spent all my time thinking about them two, at least I had been every day for the past couple of weeks.

It had been two weeks since the bonfire, and I could still see the meteor shower as if I was watching it right this very minute. The image would never escape my mind, forever it had marked its presence in my memory, and I could do nothing to rid of its intrusion. I wouldn't want to get rid of it though, it was one of the most beautiful memories I had ever had, along with the meadow. Though, that wasn't real, just a memory in a dream. I so desperately wished that a place so beautiful could exist, and deep down inside, I knew somewhere it did. The world was a mysterious place, full of wonder and amazement. Certainly there had to be somewhere that looked like the meadow. There had to be. That little hope that I held inside my heart kept me going, hope was my everyday drive.

My dreams every night had been the same, always the same beautiful meadow that the boy and I would escape to. We would get closer and closer in each dream, though never touching or getting close enough where I could see his face. I accepted that fact and ignored the desires to reach for him anymore. I was just glad he was there, in my presence making me happy. He was special that way; I was never in pain with him. All my worries and stress would leave the moment I entered my dreams. The meadow was a place of beauty and peace; it would not allow pain and alarm to distress its walls. It locked out everything bad and only left magnificence. The meadow was something to believe in, something I needed. I couldn't live without being able to escape to it, what a feeling it gave me. What a feeling in my soul, I didn't care about anything else when I was there. It gave me strength and comfort, and I felt radiated when I woke up. I was happy.

It was Saturday morning, Charlie was out fishing with Billy and Renee was spending the day with Sue Clearwater. Ever since Harry's death, Renee would visit Sue every Saturday and spend the day with her, keeping her company and helping her out around the house. I admired my mother for that; it was very kind of her, and Sue greatly appreciated it.

Today was a day I had all to myself. Jacob was spending the day with his family, his two sisters had come home for a visit, which they rarely do. I was glad, I needed time alone to think and relax. My dreams were recurring, the same dream every night with only minor variations. I decided that today I could do some research on interpreting dreams. Maybe my dreams were trying to tell me something, maybe something was going to happen, and the idea of not knowing what that could possibly be was driving me crazy. I needed to know what was going on, why I was dreaming of the boy and what its significance was.

I took my headphones off and walked over to my computer, opening up the internet and searching on Google. I typed in "deciphering dreams" and thousands of options popped up. I decided to click on the first link. It gave me the option to type keywords about my dream. I typed "recurring dream" and the following answer was provided: The message in recurring dreams may be so important and/or powerful that it refuses to go away. The frequent repetition of such dreams forces you to pay attention and confront the dream. It is desperately trying to tell you something. These dreams may recur daily, once a week, or once a month. Whatever the frequency, there is little variation in the dream content itself. The repetitive patterns in your dream reveal some of the most valuable information about yourself. It may point to a conflict, situation or matter in your waking life that remains unresolved or unsettled. Some urgent underlying message in your unconscious is demanding to be understood.

"Hmmmm," I then wondered what my dream could possibly be trying to tell me. Could there really be an important message that my brain was struggling to notify me about? What could be so important? It said that the dream could be pointing to a conflict or situation in my life that could be unsettled or unresolved. But what? Was it talking about my relationship with Jacob? Is it trying to tell me that I do not love Jacob or that he is not the one for me? _No. _That would be ridiculous. I searched something else, "lover." In my dreams I had the boy, he was my lover in my fantasy world, I decided I might as well give it a try. The results for "lover" made my stomach turn: To see a lover in your dream could be compensatory for an unsatisfactory or unfulfilling relationship in your real life.

What could that mean? That I don't want to be with Jacob, that I am not fulfilled by being with him? Could it mean that deep down inside I was unsatisfied with my relationship? The search was a bad idea. I was questioning my feelings for Jacob more and more lately and this was only making it worse. I shouldn't even be thinking about this, but I am. I couldn't stop.

Then I thought about another search, _night. _My dreams with my dark angel always took place at night. He would never stay for the sun. Maybe there was some kind of significance to that. I typed in "night" and a very interesting and disturbing answer prompted on my computer screen: To have a dream that takes place at night could signify some issues in your life that you are facing, but are not too clear. You should put the issues aside so you can clear your head and come back to it later. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth, reflection, and new beginnings.

I thought about the words _rebirth, reflection_, and _new beginnings_. Maybe something was going to happen in my life that caused for a new beginning, or felt like a new beginning. What if something was going to happen between me and Jacob, what if I lost him? Was the dream attempting to tell me that there was a problem between my relationship with Jacob? Did we have issues? I did need to clear my head like the dream said I should. I really needed to.

This was all unnerving, and really made me think. Jacob and I were great together, at least we have been for years, but maybe there was more to it. Maybe we were meant to be together with other people, not each other. But I do love him, I really do love him, and he loves me. I don't see how that possibility could be possible. _But this boy, God this boy! _He is everywhere! It's like he is coming to life too. The meteor shower is proof of it. This boy who has been the center of my dreams for the past month could not be reckoned with. I loved him too, and lately it's been feeling like I love him more than I do Jacob. But how? I didn't even know him, he wasn't even real, but it felt like he was. _Oh God it felt like he was real._

I don't know how I can do this; I don't know how I can get through this. I can't stop loving Jacob, but I can't stop loving the boy. I want to tell myself it's alright, but it's not. I can't stop loving them both, and its wrong. It will never be alright until something happens. It won't be alright until what my dream is trying to tell me actually happens, or I actually realize its hidden messages.

I decided that my searching for the meaning of my dreams was done; I could find no more information unless I actually went to a psychic, which I was never going to do. I spent the rest of the day reading, trying to keep my mind from thinking. I started reading Pride and Prejudice, but the love story was too much for my liking right at the moment. Instead, I tried to read another of Austen's books, Sense and Sensibility, again too much love for me. It was stupid I'd even try that book anyways; I had already read it before, I should have known better, but like I was trying to do, I wasn't thinking. I left my bedroom, defeated and annoyed, and walked downstairs to the kitchen to make some lunch.

As I began to make a sandwich, the phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered, with my very polite phone voice.

"Hey Bells its Jake, what are you up to?"

"Hey Jake, not much, I was doing some reading but that was a bust. Right now I'm making a sandwich. Why are you calling? Aren't you supposed to be bonding with your family right now?" I teased him.

"Ha funny, no my sisters actually just left. Turns out they had to leave early, something about some kind of work they had to do back where they live. Dad was sad, but I didn't mind," Jake said laughing. He loved his sisters, but there was a reason why he was glad they lived across the county. They were a hassle to be around sometimes.

"So I called to ask you if you wanted to hang out tomorrow? We could hang out in my garage, lately I've been working on these two motorcycles that someone threw out. I've been fixing them up; they should be done in no time." Jake loved working on new projects, and motorcycles seemed to be a very interesting topic for him.

"Yeah Jake, that would be fun. I'll drive by around noon, is that okay?"

"Yeah, of course. It's perfect," he said and I could hear the smile growing on his face. I loved when he smiled, it could make any room shine brighter, and make anyone feel better.

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow then, go say bye to your sisters and tell them I said hi."

"Alright, will do. See you tomorrow. Bye Bells, love you."

"Bye Jake, love you too." I hung up the phone and let out a deep breath.

Tomorrow should be fun, but I have been so frustrated lately, I don't know if I can stand hanging out with Jacob for a whole day without thinking about the boy. I would feel bad for wasting my time with Jacob and not using it for good use. I do value my time with him because lately its felt as if that time was limited. I didn't like the feeling, but I couldn't do anything about it. What was causing it I had no idea, and I was not happy with the uncertainty. I usually loved mystery, but this kind of mystery I could not stand. I had no patience or liking for it whatsoever. I was fed up.

I finished my sandwich then went back to my room. Remembering that I had homework, I quickly grabbed my backpack and took out the needed materials to complete the work. Finally, I had something to keep my mind set. Being busy was a good way to keep me focused and not allow my mind to wander. It was my mind that I was afraid of. I'd do anything to not think of Jacob and the boy. If I did, the only thoughts that would come up were thoughts of pain and hurt. I would remember that I had to make a choice between the two. For me it felt like the decision was impossible. I couldn't imagine making it. To anyone else, the answer would be easy._ Jacob. _My dark angel wasn't real, so the only logical solution would be to pick him. But for me it wasn't that simple. I had grown to love the mysterious boy, even though he was only a stranger. Losing him was like losing myself. With him, it was like I had finally found my other half. He filled a hole I did not even know I had. If he left, he vanished from my life, I would be hurt. I would be in a condition that could not be repaired. The only way I would ever recover was if he'd return. Though, even then I'd still remember the pain of losing him, and I'd be forever scared and paranoid that it could happen again. I couldn't risk that kind of pain. Therefore, the decision to just simply choose Jacob was in actuality not that simple. It was hard, and I knew it.

I was driving to Jacob's house; the day had been very rainy so far, not odd for Forks, but I still hated the fact. I was almost at Jacob's; I could see the little houses of the Quileute Reservation passing me by as I neared his home. The ocean was close by and I could hear the seagulls cawing in the distance.

There I saw Jacob's house, the little red square house that resided near the woods. His garage was made up of two storage units welded together. The site was so quaint and comforting; I loved every bit of it.

I pulled in and parked outside his house. I got out of my truck when I saw Jake pop out of the garage to see me. His face lit up and he ran towards my direction.

"Bella!" He reached me and grabbed me, lifting me into the air and squeezing me tight to his beautiful chest. He was shirtless, Jacob was always shirtless. Ever since he buffed up, he radiated with confidence and never felt the urge to dress himself.

"Jacob, it's freezing out here and you are shirtless?" I chided him, he just laughed.

"What are you, my mother?" I laughed with him.

"Apparently someone has to be!" He rolled his eyes at the comment and held my hand, walking towards the garage.

When we stepped inside the compacted area, I could see two motorcycles set up. They were completely torn apart, parts lying everywhere.

"Wow Jake, you sure know how to make a mess," I scoffed. Jake rolled his eyes again and began talking.

"They should be done in a couple weeks. I've been working on rebuilding the engine completely from scratch; Billy lent me some money for the parts. They are going to be beautiful once I'm done with them." He began to smile at the piles of junk lying on the ground.

"I bet they are," I said, admiring his ambitions and smiling at him.

"So, do I get to ride one of these bad boys?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Hell no! They are too dangerous for you Bella. With your luck you could kill yourself and probably take out a whole village while you're at it!" He smirked at me, but it didn't touch his eyes. I could tell he was thinking about the dangers, he would never let me do something so reckless, but he had good reason. Ever since that accident, he's always been more protective of me. If something ever happened to me, he would never be able to forgive himself.

"Fine, so I get the privilege of watching you ride them while I sit around in pure boredom?" I said with an annoyed tone, trying to get him to change his mind.

"Exactly." He smiled.

"Jerk."

"You know I'm right."

"Whatever."

I folded my arms and looked away from him. Shock filled his face for a second, then it quickly washed away and sensitivity surfaced. He grabbed my arms gently and looked into my eyes.

"Bells, you know I love you. I would never want anything bad to happen to you. I could never forgive myself. These motorcycles are sure death traps for someone as clumsy as you. You know that." He looked at me with eyes begging for my forgiveness and understanding. "I love you too much to risk it," he added. I regretted looking into his eyes, because it caused me to give in.

"Ugh…I'm sorry Jake, you're right," I couldn't stay angry at that. He was too beautiful and to see him pleading for my understanding like that was too difficult. It reminded me of his face and the way he acted the day of Harry's death. I could not look at that.

He gave me a strong comforting hug and then walked over to work on his bikes.

"You want to learn a few things about fixing a bike?" He grinned at me and I couldn't resist. I began to laugh; he looked like a child who was building a fort. It was priceless.

"Why not kiddo." He smiled at me like a five year old smiles when he goes to a toy store. I walked over to where he was and kept laughing. I needed today, to hang out with Jacob and just have fun. It was a much needed day to laugh and I was thankful for it.

I lied in the sweet flowers staring at the sunrise. My dark angel would have to leave soon, and my heart began to throb. I looked over at him and he faced my direction. He began to rise and I followed his motion, just like I did every night. This dream was the closest I had ever been to him. He was no more than five feet away from me now, and I could feel the electricity rushing inside me. Every night got more intense as I'd get closer to him, and the urges to just run to him overrode every part of my body. Though I knew I couldn't, since I knew what he'd do if I did.

I simply looked at him with longing and felt my heart overflow with pain as he slowly turned and walked away. For some reason, this goodbye felt real. My other dreams I would be perfectly fine once he left. I'd wake up happy and rejuvenated, but this time I was sad and hurt. I didn't understand why. Was he really leaving me? Was this the last time I'd see my dark angel in my dreams? _No. _I can't believe it. He would never do that, the feelings we share are too strong to ever make such an idea come true. I would never leave him and he would never leave me. But I could not doubt this feeling of goodbye; I could not ignore it, even though I wished it were wrong.

He walked away and disappeared into the forest. I opened my eyes and listened as my alarm clock rang. _Damn, school_. I hit the snooze button and slowly sat up from my bed. I wiped my eyes and sat in thought.

_What could that mean? I hope it meant nothing, I don't know what I'd do if I never dreamt of him again. _I tried to comfort myself in believing that he was not leaving me. I convinced my mind that I was only falling more in love with him, and now I only wished to be with him always. That was the reason why it hurt to say goodbye to him, because I loved him. That thought comforted me, but then it brought sadness as I thought of Jacob. My dark angel was slowly taking over my feelings and rising to the top. I loved him as much as Jacob, if not even more. I couldn't bear to think of the pain it would cause Jake. I tried to think of something else. _School, I need to get dressed._

I quickly put on a flannel top and a snug pair of blue jeans. I then brushed my hair and finished my morning routine.

When I was done getting ready, I walked downstairs. I didn't notice until I saw that Charlie was gone that I realized I was running late. I quickly grabbed a pop tart from the pantry, snatched my backpack from the floor, yelled bye to Renee, and ran to my truck.

I drove to Forks high in a jiffy. I was literally there in no time. As I quickly jumped out of my car, Jacob was there waiting impatiently.

"There you are! I almost walked inside without you; we're gonna be late, hurry up!" Jacob quickly helped me get my stuff and we hurried to our first period.

"Why were you running late?" He asked, making conversation as we hurried through the hallways.

"I don't know, one minute I was asleep, next minute I had to leave." I answered, avoiding details.

"Bella, you need to stop zoning out," he said shaking his head and chuckling.

"I can't help it!" I snapped snickering at him. He just kept laughing.

We walked into literature right before Mrs. Elmore began to close the door.

"Nice of you two to join us," she said sarcastically. She resumed shutting the door and we quickly found our seats and sat down.

"Phew…we made it!" Jacob said breathing heavily, "that was an intense powerwalk," he pretended he was exhausted and placed his palm on his forehead.

"Shut up wussy." I said snickering at him and slapping his hand off his forehead.

"Bella…..Bella," I heard my name being whispered behind me, I found nothing but Angela Weber looking straight at me. "Bella," she repeated.

"Hey Angela, what's up?" I asked wondering why she was whispering so softly.

"Have you seen the new student?" She asked, her eyes beaming at me, I looked at her confused.

"What are you talking about? What new student?" I had no idea there was a new student at our school. Usually if there was, everyone would know days ahead. Forks rarely got new students, and when they did, it was a huge fuss.

"We have a new student!" She said excitedly. "I only heard about it this morning as I entered the school." Angela never got excited about such things, but for some reason she was thrilled with this news.

"Who is it? What is his or her name?" I was interested, only because we never have new students and I haven't talked to Angela in a couple of days.

"I don't know! I heard it was a boy, but I'm not sure. Someone told me there was a girl too, like there are two new students."

"Hmmmm….I'm sure we will hear more later on today. I bet Jessica will have the spill next period." I said with assurance.

Angela nodded, "She definitely will, tell me at lunch if you learn anything."

"Okay, I will," I promised her. I turned back around and looked at Jake.

"Did you hear that Jake?" I asked him, wondering if he was listening.

"Hear what?" He asked, apparently he did not.

"We have a new student, possibly two."

"Oh, that's cool." He answered completely uninterested. He looked out the window. "I hope they like it here," he sighed. My mind registered what was going on. I felt bad for him; he still felt like an outsider at this school and missed his old friends. He seemed so sad, it was crushing to watch.

"I'm sure they will," I said as I placed one of my hands on his. He looked at me and smiled.

For the rest of the period, we separated into groups and read a few short stories to each other. My group was assigned "The Chrysanthemums." I've read the story before a few times, but every time I read it, I always felt a new wave of grief for the woman. The main character prized her Chrysanthemums, and when a man came along for work, she was nothing but nice to him. She gave him a few flower seeds in a pot and set him on his way when he was done as a nice gesture. She later drove off somewhere with her husband and saw a pile of brown sitting on the side of the rode. Her heart fell when she realized it was her Chrysanthemums. The man had used her.

That story always got to me, but today I couldn't focus on it. My mind was elsewhere.

The bell rang the next moment, and everyone scrambled to get their stuff and leave for their next class. Jake and I hurried and walked out. He walked me to my next period, giving me a hug and then turning around to his class. I entered the room when I heard Jessica Stanley yelling my name.

"Bella! Bella!" She waved her arms to me and I quickly walked over to her.

"Bella! Have you heard about the new student? OMG! He is gorgeous!" My eyes beamed at her and I was surprised.

"What? So it's a boy?" I asked, wanting to know every detail.

"Yes! Well, he has a sister too, she's extremely pretty as well, but Oh My God is he gorgeous." She fanned her face, looking as if she was having a heat stroke.

"What's his name?" I asked, annoyed that she was stalling.

"Edward Cullen. I had a class with him last period, it was heaven. His sister's name is RenesFmee. Thank god they are related, or else she would be his in a heartbeat."

_Edward Cullen. _The name sounded so interesting, it was such an old name too. I hadn't known any Edward's unless they were around the age of my grandparents. _Edward Cullen, _I kept thinking. _I hope I can see him_.

Jessica was too excited about this new student, she kept rambling on about him for the whole class period. I mostly paid attention, but I couldn't help but wonder. My mind was thinking the strangest things, I didn't realize until it was too late that the bell had rung and I was the only one who remained in the class.

It didn't matter anyways, it was lunch time, I could be as late as I wanted. Though, I didn't want to, I had to tell Angela what I had discovered about the new student.

I sat up from my desk and grabbed my belongings. I left the classroom and walked to lunch. Angela and Ben were sitting at our usual table; it looked like they were talking really fast to each other. Maybe they knew about Edward Cullen and his sister. Maybe they knew more than I did.

I reached them and Angela shot her head to me. "Bella! Did you learn anything? I'm dying here!" Question answered, she knew nothing.

I quickly sat down and began to tell her everything Jessica had told me. Just then, Jessica sat down at our table across from us. She usually sits with Mike and some other gossip queens, but today was different.

"I have more news!" She chided in.

"Yes?" Angela asked in anticipation.

"Apparently he's from Alaska, his father is a doctor, Carlisle Cullen. His mother stays at home working, remodeling and such. His sister is a year younger than us. And he is –" she stopped dead in her tracks, not completing her sentence, a first for Jessica. She just stared behind our heads.

"Jessica," I said, snapping at her, "Jessica." I looked to where she was staring, "Jess-" and there he was.

"Edward Cullen." I said under my breath.

I knew it was him, I knew everyone in this school. I had never seen his face before, and if I had, I would have never forgotten it. He was beautiful.

Jessica was right. He _was_ gorgeous. I froze where I sat, completely amazed by his beauty. His eyes were the sharpest shade of emerald green I had ever seen. His face was perfectly sculpted, as if it was carved by an angel. His jaw line was perfect, defined to the very last detail. His hair was a messy reddish brown color that was handsomely styled to dreamily fit his face in the most beautiful way. He was wearing well-fitted clothes that wrapped around his body and enhanced his glorious shape. He was tall and built. He wasn't buff like Jacob, but instead lean and defined. The light ivory sweater grazed upon his chest and his tan khakis sloped down to his ankles perfectly. He was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I was blown away. And so was everyone else.

His sister was a sight for sore eyes as well; she was walking next to him in the cafeteria, paying no attention to anyone. She shared the same beautiful green eyes as he, with the same colored hair. Though her hair was slightly darker and fell to her back in beautifully shaped soft curls. Her face was perfect in every way, her soft skin radiated with perfect complexion. She too like her brother was tall and lean. She wore a beautiful pale cream blouse that flowed over her body, and a lovely pale pink skirt ran down just above her knees. They both looked like supermodels, and they carried themselves with such dignity. They seemed to be unattached to their surroundings, finding an empty table near a window and sitting there together.

I could not look away, others began to resume their conversations, but not I. I was in a trance; I was hypnotized by his immense beauty. He had a pull on me, it felt all too familiar.

Just then he turned his head and looked at me. His green eyes stared at me with such content and concentration. I held his face for a moment while my cheeks filled with blush then forced myself to look away. I did not look back.

The bell rang and lunch was over, I quickly snatched my things and walked to biology. When I arrived there, I was welcomed by my lonely desk. I sat my stuff on the always empty seat next to mine and took out my book. The class started piling in and everyone took their seats, except _him_. The new student had this class.

Mr. Banner began to announce to the class, "Listen everyone; we have a new student with us today. His name is Edward Cullen. Please show him the respect and warm welcoming that he deserves," the class sat in awe and no one made a sound. I was stunned as well.

"Now Edward, there is a seat open for you next to Ms. Swan, please take a seat." He pointed towards my direction and Edward made eye contact with me. Already embarrassed from the previous encounter, I quickly looked down at the table and hid my face in my hair. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. _Damn blushing._

I grabbed my things from the chair next to me and sat them on the floor. I kept my face down and did not dare to look up. I heard the seat next to me slowly move as he sat down. The feeling was so exhilarating. The new boy, the gorgeous boy, was sitting next to me. I have never in my life had such luck.

Mr. Banner began to speak. "Okay class, today we will be studying the cycles of Mitosis!" He was overly excited about the subject and the class just grunted in response. "Don't get too excited everyone," he said annoyed. "Now in front of you is a microscope and 5 different slides. Each slide is a stage of Mitosis. It is you and your partner's job to figure out which is which. The first group to finish and correctly label the stages will receive 5 bonus points on the next test. You may begin," everyone began to rush, trying to be the first group done. Biology was a hard class, to them. For me it was pretty simple. I had already read ahead to this chapter a couple days previous, therefore I knew almost anything about Mitosis already.

I took a chance and looked at my partner, he was staring at me. His face was thinking, and in wonder. I blushed again but didn't look away, he smiled.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen," he said with the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. It was the voice of an angel and I deeply yearned for him to speak again.

"You must be Isabella Swan…" he added.

"Bella," I interjected automatically, I was used to correcting people on my name.

"Bella," he corrected himself and smiled.

"It is very nice to meet you Bella," he said in his very charming voice. I couldn't help but get lost in its sound. I nodded at him, still amazed by his beauty.

"Ladies first," he said, moving the microscope towards me. I looked into it and new right away what it was.

"Prophase," I declared, he smiled at me then reached for the microscope.

"Mind if I look?" he asked with a smirk.

"No, go ahead," I said tentatively. He stared into it even shorter than I had and nodded his head.

"Prophase," he gave me a crooked smile. I froze, it was breathtaking. His smile was by far the sexiest smile I had ever seen. I was amazed.

"Like I said," I spoke, waking out of my trance. He laughed and changed the slide to another then looked for another brief moment.

"It's Anaphase," he stated, still smirking.

"You mind if I check?" I asked grinning, grabbing for the microscope. He pushed it towards me and laughed again.

"Sure," he chuckled.

I looked into the microscope and was disappointed, he was right.

"Anaphase," I said quietly. I pushed the microscope back to him.

He looked at me, showing his crooked smile again, "Like I said." I blushed and looked at him, trying desperately to think of something to say.

"So… how are you liking the rain?" I asked sarcastically, trying to make conversation. _Weather Bella? Dumbass! Who talks about the weather?_ I needed to talk to him. His voice was so soothing, that I didn't care.

He laughed, catching my worry. "It's not bad. It will take some adjusting. I'm used to the cold at least, since being from Alaska and all." He stared at me and for a second I thought I saw a sparkle in his eyes. "You don't seem very fond of it yourself," he added, noting my sarcasm when I asked the question.

"I don't really like the rain, any cold wet thing I don't really –"I didn't finish my sentence, I just looked at him. He smiled again and laughed.

"What?" I asked slightly embarrassed and confused.

"Nothing," he smirked then looked into the microscope.

"It's metaphase, wanna check it?" he asked.

"Uh…I believe you," I said as I timidly smiled and I did, I truly did. He then smirked again.

"So, if you hate the cold and rain so much, why do you live in the wettest place in the continental U.S.?"

He caught me off guard.

"I don't know. I've lived here all my life. I've never really thought about leaving." I said honestly, he believed me. "Why did you move here?"

He thought about his answer for a second then replied, "My dad was offered a job as a doctor down at the hospital. He said he once lived in Forks a long time ago, so he fancied the idea of moving back."

"I can't imagine someone actually wanting to move back here. This place can be so depressing at times." I looked deep in thought and Edward let out a soft chuckle.

"You are very interesting Bella." He said and I looked at him confused.

"I'll take that as a compliment," I replied smiling at him.

"Good, because it is one," he gave me that beautiful crooked smile again and my heart melted. Whoever this Edward was, he was special. I was glad he had moved to Forks, very glad.

The bell suddenly rang and I packed up. Edward gathered his belongings together faster than I did and waited by the door.

"You mind if I walk with you to your next class?" he asked as I walked near him, I was thrilled.

"Not at all," I said smiling. We began walking to the gym.

"What is your next class?" I curiously asked.

"Spanish," he said, and he lowered his head to me and smiled.

"That should be fun," I chortled sarcastically.

"Oui" he said smirking.

"That's French…" I replied.

"I know," he laughed. I was confused. "I was only joking," he said.

_Of course, good job getting that one Bella…idiot_, I thought to myself.

We reached the gym when he looked at me and said, "Thanks for walking with me, I'll see you tomorrow, adios Bella," he gave me his sexy crooked smile and then walked away to his next class.

I couldn't concentrate in gym today. Edward was on my mind. His face shining in my memory filled me with such liking. He was amazingly charming in every way. He was perfect. It was probably a bad idea to not pay attention in gym though, I think I hit at least half the class in the face with a basketball. I was looking forward to the moment the bell would ring.

School finally let out, and I saw Jacob at my car. _Oh yeah, Jacob. _I hadn't even thought about him at all today, not since first period. I wondered if he knew about Edward. I'm sure he did, that would be the only gossip around school for the rest of the week, I was sure of that.

"Hey Jake," I said enthusiastically. He deserved my attention for the rest of the day. I had neglected the thought of him for too long, and I was beginning to feel terrible about it.

"Hey Bells, did you see the new kids?" Yep, he knew about Edward, and his sister.

"Yeah, I have a class with Edward, you?" He seemed too interested in this conversation.

"I have a class with his sister. She has Spanish with me second period. She's really nice."

"That's good, Edward is the same way." Jacob raised an eyebrow and I just laughed.

"So are you coming over today?" I asked him curiously.

"I can't Bells, Billy needs me to run some errands for him, then I have to work," Jacob sounded sad as he said it.

"Dang, I was looking forward to spending some time with my Jakey," I never called him Jakey unless I was trying to get what I want or attempting to be seductive. He grinned at me and pushed me into his body.

"Bells, don't make me feel bad, you know I can't resist when you call me that," I smiled at him and gave him a strong kiss.

"Damn it Bella," he laughed, "I have to go. I'll call you later." I pushed out my bottom lip and pouted.

"Bella, you're killing me!" He grabbed my face and kissed me this time. He was so sensual about it, his strong lips pressing gently against mine.

"I'll call you later." He looked dead into my eyes.

"Okay, fine, have fun." I said, Jake gave me one last hug, said goodbye, then left.

I climbed into my truck and revved the engine. As I pulled out of my parking space I saw Edward. He was climbing into a silver Volvo. _Nice, _now he gets to see me in my old beat up red Chevy truck. His sister sat in the passenger seat. He pulled out and sped off. _Perfect boy would have such a perfect car too, _I thought to myself. Everything about him seemed so perfect. I couldn't get him off of my mind. It was rather strange how much I wanted to think about him.

Today had definitely been interesting and full of strange feelings and happenings. Today was a day to remember, for certain, it was a day I would never forget. All I really knew today was that I couldn't wait to go to bed and see my dark angel.

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So how did you like it? Please review! And thank you for reading! Remember I am still looking for a beta reader!


	6. Lost

**Disclaimer: SM owns these characters, and some of the content.**

**A/N:** Thank you for the wonderful reviews! They really make me happy, and I appreciate them so much. I would like to say, as a warning, that this chapter is slightly heavy. Slightly. It was hard writing it, I had a lot of music playing for this one, mostly songs by Aqualung. They have recently inspired this story, and a lot of their songs relate so well to it. I am currently in love with their two songs "Strange and Beautiful" and "Pressure Suit" though I love them all. Those two really stand out right now and they are simply really good. Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and let me know what you think!

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 6

Lost

_"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering." – Paulo Coelho_

_W__hat the hell was that?_ I threw myself from my bed. It was Tuesday, 7:00 A.M.

_What the hell?_

I didn't dream of him. He wasn't there last night, and I wasn't in the meadow. _What the hell is going on?_ I was literally freaking out; I was having a panic attack. What the hell! Why didn't I dream of the boy?! Why wasn't he in the damn meadow! What is going on? Every night I have met him for the past month. Every day I would anticipate going home so that I could sleep and see him. He was the highlight of my day and night, and he was not there.

I was losing my mind; my biggest fear was coming to life. He was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it. But why? Why did he leave? Everything was so perfect! He was in my life now; he was there every time I closed my eyes. He was the very essence of my happiness. I felt like my insides were about to explode. They were turning and flipping, my heart was racing so frantically I thought I was going to explode.

It felt like a truck had ripped through my body and busted my heart. It was gone and I had a hole in my body that ached to be healed. He was gone. For God's sake he was really gone!?

"Why? Oh God why?" I yelled in my room, tears spiraling down my face. I crawled into a ball and began to cry. I was in hysterics. I felt horrible, the feelings of love and happiness had been burned inside of me. I was only left to feel anger and pain. Why would he do this to me? He made me so happy, why? I screamed into my pillow, letting everything out and feeling the pain overwhelm me. I fell in love with the boy; _I fell in love with him for God's sake. Does that not mean anything?_ I was angry at the world. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, but I couldn't. I had to keep it all in, for Charlie and Renee. I couldn't let them know that their daughter was on the verge of insanity. I couldn't let them know that her heart had just been ripped out and shredded into a million pieces. I couldn't let them know that one of the only things she lived for had just disappeared from her life. They would worry too much and they wouldn't understand the pain that their precious daughter was in. They would never understand. No one would.

_Maybe it was just this one time_, I tried to tell myself._ Maybe he'll be back tonight. _Tears were still streaming down my cheeks. I buried my face in my pillow. _It's ok Bella, it's ok. He hasn't left you. You'll see him tonight. Damn it girl you will see him tonight! _My crying slowed down, but I still couldn't fully reassure myself. My entire body hoped that he would return, for the sake of my sanity he'd better return. I loved him, but apparently that didn't mean anything.

I forced myself to get up and prepare myself for school. My whole body protested; it wanted to stay in bed and crawl up in a ball all day. It yearned to wait for night time, to see if he'd come back to me. My God he better come back to me. I had never in my life felt so much pain; nothing I had ever experienced had felt this bad. I would choose falling down a cliff any day then have to live through this hurt. My body felt empty, there was a huge hole in my chest, and nothing could repair it, nothing but his return. It was my biggest fear, and it had come true, just like the meteor shower had come true.

This was complete torture; it was some kind of sick joke to mess with me like this. I've done bad things in my past, but nothing to have earned the pain I was now in. I wouldn't have wished this on even my worst of enemies, never in a million years. If I didn't still love Jacob, if I didn't care for my family or my friends, I would have killed myself. I would have given myself a few more days to be sure that my love was gone from my dreams, and if I was sure, then I'd leave the world like he left me. If I was alone in this world I would have done it. But I had family, I had Jacob, I couldn't cause them as much pain as I was currently in. It would be unfair to them. _You're being dramatic, _I tried to convince myself. _Calm down crazy._

I finished getting ready and wiped my eyes, making sure I had no evidence of the tears that had showered from my face not too long ago. I got dressed for school then I walked down stairs and quickly ate a bowl of cereal before I left for school, trying to forget the pain and loss that surrounded my mind. Renee and Charlie were both gone already and I was alone; I could afford to let some emotion out again. I needed to let some emotion out again.

My eyes flowed with tears once more. _Bella stop, get a grip on yourself. _I tried to imagine the boy, but I couldn't even see him in my mind anymore. I didn't have a face to remember. He was completely gone from my memory. I could only remember the meadow, but nothing else. Pain shot through my body, _I can't even remember him._

_I never even got the chance to see his face._

I lost it, tears streamed faster than ever before down my cheeks. My body shook violently from the sobbing. I wanted to crawl into a hole and waste away, but I couldn't. I put my empty bowl into the sink and grabbed my belongings.

Trying to collect myself, I walked out of my house and slowly walked towards the truck. I turned on the engine and sullenly drove to school. I made sure before I entered the parking lot that every sign of my grief had disappeared. Jacob was_ not_ going to see me like this.

Was this how Romeo felt when he thought Juliet had died? Was this the feeling that drove Juliet to her grave when she saw that her Romeo had killed himself? I now fully understood why Romeo and Juliet did what they had done. I felt the same way, only I cared too much about the other people in my life to ever end my own. And to be honest, I would be too scared to do such a thing. Of course I would think about it, and desire death to take me out of my misery, but it would never come for me. And I would never force it to.

This wasn't the end of my life. I had a bright future ahead of myself; in any case I at least hoped that I had. I felt lost, like a sheep that had gone astray from its master and its herd. I was lost, but I was alright, at least, I had to try and convince myself that I was alright.

I entered the parking lot and saw Jacob waiting for me. I parked next to him and took in a deep breath. I tried to cover my face from any contradicting look, hoping I had succeeded.

I took a step out of the truck and saw Jacob's expression. His face stared at me with concern and understanding. _Crap. _He didn't say a word though. He just grabbed me and held me in his arms. He swayed back and forth, squeezing me to him, I couldn't help it; I lost it. I buried my face into his shoulder and began to cry.

"Shhh… its ok Bella, you're alright… shhh... Everything will be okay," He held me in his arms and didn't let go.

I only assumed that when he saw my expression and how disarrayed I was, he must have thought that I had had another nightmare, like the ones I used to have until recently. Last year, the day I jumped off the cliff and the day Harry died, I began to have the worst nightmares of my life. I would dream of every possible horror imaginable, Harry jumping off the cliff to his death, Jacob jumping, Renee, Charlie. It didn't matter who, every dream I would be in the same place, swimming in the water and watching them plummet to their horrid death. I couldn't do anything to save them; I was swimming against the current trying to save my own life in the process. Every dream ended the same too; I finally lost the battle with the ocean and gave in to my engrossing death, only minutes after watching the others fall to their same fate.

I would scream at night; for the next few months, Charlie and Renee would take turns coming into my room to calm me down. Nothing ever worked; I would still dream the terrible nightmares and see them as if they were actually happening. They were so vivid and realistic; I would scream bloody murder until I awoke from them. Charlie and Renee were desperate to stop them, it had come between our personal life as well. Jacob knew about them, he knew of the terrors that would haunt me, and he would try and stay with me some of the nights to help me sleep. Charlie and Renee had allowed it; they trusted Jake and they wanted to be able to sleep for once. They would do anything to rid me of the horrors. Jacob helped in a way, but even he couldn't keep the nightmares from returning.

I would wake up panting and screaming, and he would be there cradling me in his arms and trying to calm me down, telling me everything would be okay. I tried to believe him, but it was so hard to. Nothing could stop the dreams and every now and then they would come back. The last time I had a nightmare was about one month ago, the night before I started dreaming about the boy. Usually when I woke up, I would wake up early and not want to go back to sleep. I had nothing better to do in the morning, so I would go downstairs and cook a big breakfast for Charlie and Renee. They questioned it at first, but eventually they stopped and accepted it. They knew what was going on, and they didn't want to stop anything that was helping me cope with the nightmares.

Jake must have thought it was a nightmare; he would only have to see my face and know that that was the problem. I guess my face looked exactly how it did those terrible nights. I'm sure it was the same, only rare cases such as these could cause me to look so distorted and hurt.

He didn't question it, or ask me what was wrong. He just did the only thing he knew he could do, comfort me, hug me, and show me that he loved me. He just acted like Jacob, helping me, and keeping me company. I was unbelievably thankful that he didn't ask what was wrong anymore, because it wasn't a nightmare. It was the loss of the love of my life, the love of my life in my dreams. I couldn't imagine having to explain that one to him. It would be impossible, and it would only add more pain on top of the excruciating one I was already feeling.

Jacob grabbed my hand and kept an arm around me, walking me towards the building.

"Let's go Bella, we need to get to class," he said in a soothing voice as he kissed me on my forehead.

We headed to Lit, not paying attention to anyone around us, just focusing on getting to class.

The first two periods went by in a blur. I didn't talk to anyone, Jacob didn't ask questions, he didn't speak, he just held my hand. He didn't know how to act when I was like this, he didn't know what to say or do. I couldn't blame him, no one knew. Angela was worried, but she knew this face as well, remembering last year when I'd come to school disheveled and distant from everyone. The nightmares had taken over my life, they slowly left, and the fear and pain from them had faded. Only once in a while would I have them, they still scared the hell out of me, but I could handle it better. I wasn't so zombie like anymore, unless it was a really bad dream that night.

But this time it was different. This time I was hurt, not scared; this time I was in unbearable pain. The only similarity between the nightmares and this time was that they were both a dream, and that they both felt incredibly and unbelievably real. The difference was that I had lost something, it may have been a dream, but it was a part of me. It was a dream that I had wanted, that I had lived for, and now it was gone. Of course I felt like I had lost something when Charlie, or Jacob, or Renee would die in those terrible nightmares, but I knew they weren't really gone. I knew that when I'd wake up, they'd be there, waiting for me. In this situation though, the only way I could see this new love was by dreaming. And now that he had disappeared, I felt a loss bigger than any other. It felt like half of me had been taken away. It was for certain that this was the worst feeling I had ever known.

I didn't go to lunch today, instead I went to my truck and sat in there. I tried to collect myself and get a grip on my messed up life. _Please Bella, stop acting like this. _As much as I wanted to, I couldn't stop. I couldn't just turn off the hurt that I was feeling like a light switch, it didn't work that way. A huge part of me was missing; I couldn't just heal in a heartbeat and forget it ever happened. I was only human, and this kind of wound takes time, a lot of time to repair. If that is even possible.

I can't get him out of my mind, the memory of him won't leave my thoughts, I can't even see him, only remember that he did exist in my head. It was pure torture. I didn't even have proof that he existed, except the pathetic evidence of the meteor shower.

I heard the bell ring, lunch was over. I wiped my face from the fresh tears and grabbed my backpack with my head down, walking to biology.

When I got there I was surprised to see the handsome boy sitting in the always empty chair. I had completely forgotten about Edward Cullen since the dream, and somehow remembering him had put a smile on my face. He looked up at me and gave me his special crooked smile; I couldn't help but feel happy. He had this weird power to make me forget all my problems, even the excruciating pain that I was in. No one had ever been able to do that, and here was this boy that I had only met yesterday, and yet he was already solving my frustrations.

I sat down next to him, practically tripping over my chair, and placed my backpack on the ground next to my seat. No matter how much he was able to heal my painful thoughts, he still couldn't completely cure me. He was no fool, and as much as I hated him to be able to tell, he knew something was wrong.

"Hey Bella, are you ok?" He whispered, looking at me and trying to solve the mystery. I didn't know what to say, but unlike everyone else, I couldn't ignore him.

"Uhh….yeah…I'm fine," I lied, trying to not make eye contact with him.

"Bella, a dead person looks better than you do right now. You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but please don't lie to me," I looked at him and his face was hard, but I could see sympathy in his eyes. I felt bad, I shouldn't have lied to him, but I couldn't tell him the truth.

"I…uh…I'm sorry, Edward, I'm just not feeling so well today," he looked at me and smiled; I blushed and dropped my head.

"It's okay, I forgive you," he said with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood. "Just remember that next time."

I raised my eyebrows and looked at him again, "next time?"

"What? Are we never going to talk again?" He asked playing stupid, he was still grinning, and I couldn't help but smile at his beautiful face.

"Well…yeah…but-"

"Then next time you know not to lie to me," he cut me off.

I laughed and he joined. God, he was so easy to talk to, I had the slightest idea how he was able to do that. To make me forget everything and just be in the moment with him, laughing was beyond amazing.

"I'm glad I got you smiling," he said, obviously proud of himself.

"Yeah, I guess you did," I returned the expression, and his eyes lit up.

"It's a gift."

"Ha, right, I bet it is."

"What are you trying to say Ms. Swan?" He raised his brows.

"Nothing." I laughed.

"You are so interesting Bella," he said shaking his head, I blushed.

"Why thank you Edward, I wish I could say the same for you…" He looked at me astonished, his mouth wide open in fake hurt.

"Good one," he said nudging my shoulder. Right then a sudden bolt of electricity shot through me. My face went blank, and I was in shock. I've only felt that feeling with one other person, my dark angel in my dreams. It was so weird that the second me and Edward touched, I could feel the same thing with him. Of course, my mind would find a way to make me remember the boy who had left me, the boy who was causing me to be in so much pain. _Thanks mind. _What a bitch it was to make me remember him, when I was doing so well right now forgetting.

I looked at Edward, he was motionless and his face was solid. He must have felt it too. Then my mind must not be making it up, but what the hell? I was so confused.

"Are you okay?" I asked nervously.

His head snapped out of whatever daze he was in and he looked at me.

"Uh, yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, you sort of blacked out there for a moment."

"Oh, no, I was just thinking…" he said, and his face became hard again. He stared in front of him, but he wasn't looking at anything in particular, just open space. I desperately wondered what he was thinking so hard about.

"Should I be asking _you_ if you are okay?" I asked curiously. He just laughed.

"No no, I'm fine, fantastic actually," he said smiling.

"That's good to hear," I sighed. He eyed me speculatively.

"I wish I could say the same for you," he said raising an eyebrow; fortunately he didn't push the topic any further. Thank God for that.

"The weather looks nice today," he commented looking out the window. Today was one of those rare days in Forks where it was actually sunny. How ironic.

"Yeah, just lovely." I replied sarcastically.

"Okay, I'm confused. I thought you hated the rain? And now it's sunny, and you hate that too?" He asked confused. He was a very good listener, and I was glad he had paid attention to our conversation earlier.

"Yes, I hate the rain; I usually love days like this, but not today." He seemed to understand what I was talking about; he looked at me and nodded. "It's just one of those days," I added.

"I hate those days," he replied, and I laughed. He smiled a huge grin and for a moment I felt like my world was going to be okay. For a moment, I felt like I could do anything and that my pain was already gone and healed. But I was smarter than that, and I knew too well the reality of the situation.

The bell rang and Edward and I scrambled to gather our things. Edward was much faster than me, and he walked to the door before I even zipped up my bag, but he waited. It was just like yesterday, and my face lit up. I walked to him smiling.

"You ready?" he looked at me with his famous crooked smile. I couldn't say a word; I was mesmerized and lost in my own thoughts of how beautiful he was. I just nodded and we both walked on.

"So tell me about your family. What are they like?" Edward asked curiously.

"Well it's just me and Charlie and Renee." I said.

"Parents?" He asked looking for more details and probably wondering why I call them by their first names.

"Yes," I laughed, "My parents. Don't ask me why I call them by their first names, I don't honestly know. I just always have." I looked puzzled. For the first time in my entire life, I wondered why I called Charlie and Renee, Charlie and Renee. I truthfully didn't know. I always have, but there was no reason behind it. Of course I didn't call them by their names when I was with them though, only to others. They hated if I accidentally called them by anything other than mom and dad, especially when we were out in public. It made them feel like bad parents, which they were far from.

"Tell me about them," he encouraged.

"Renee is probably the most child-like grown woman you will ever meet. She is a terrible cook, hair-brained, and absolutely wonderful. I love her so much, she is my best friend. And Charlie, he is an easy going man that loves his sports and loves his family. He's a very simple guy, but not much going on with him," I laughed, so did Edward.

"That sounds great. They sound like wonderful people."

"They really are," I said smiling and he grinned back at me.

We reached my next class, gym, and my smile fell.

"Do you hate gym Bella?" He asked smirking at me.

"Yes, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not the most coordinated person." I almost fell even as I said that, Edward laughed.

"No you're not," he said still chuckling. I playfully smacked him on the arm and laughed.

"Thanks," I felt the electricity again, and I knew he did too. He stiffened and smiled.

"Well, I guess it's time to leave you; the bell will probably ring any moment."

"Yeah, that's fine; throw me to the cage of lions. I'll be okay. Thanks Edward." I said smirking at him, he laughed again.

"Good luck," he said as he sped off to his next class and winked at me.

_Thanks. _Edward was an interesting character. He had the odd ability to make me laugh and smile no matter what. He was even better at it than Jacob. It was amazing, and I completely appreciated it. But once as he left, the pain slowly crept back into my life, and I realized how not so wonderful I really did feel.

It was 11:00 P.M. and I was mortified to go to bed. Not only was I afraid that my nightmares might possibly return; I was also afraid of being disappointed that the boy I've fallen in love with might not return either. I had doubt in my mind that he would, and it was not helping the situation at all.

I paced back and forth in my bedroom, freaking out about what to do. I was really tired, but I would rather not sleep then to be saddened when I woke up only to find that I set myself up to be let down. Though, I would never know if my dark angel was truly gone unless I would take a chance and dive back into my subconscious. No matter how much I wanted to, I was still afraid. The risk would cost me in the end, my heart, my happiness, my sanity. But it was worth it, to know for certain that he was gone. Thus I would take a chance…

I entered the meadow just like any other night, only this time my dark angel was not there to welcome me. The meadow seemed different, darker somehow. I looked up and the moon wasn't there, a moonless night, how tragic. It was the blackest of nights, and it frightened me. The flowers were withered and the stream had stopped flowing. It was cold, freezing, and dead silent. I could hear no animals breathing, no hearts beating, and there were no birds singing. I was alone, completely and utterly alone.

As I focused on the meadow, I saw one small ray of light beaming in the middle of the open field; it was a spotlight from a very dim star that shown in the sky. It was all alone by itself, no other stars to keep it company. I understood that star, I fell for it. It had a loneliness that I could now identify with. It was the horrible feeling of being lost and losing something important. I never wanted to dream this scenario again. How disastrous my dream was, the realization of being alone had really hit me now.

I walked to the small glimmer of light, fell to my knees, crawled into the fetal position and began to cry. _So this was hell?_ In any case it was the hell of my dreams, the meadow in a gloomy distorted way. A faceless night, my missing dark angel, and a dead meadow were nothing I had ever wanted to experience. Everything I had come to love was gone; everything that brought me happiness was gone. I was left alone to suffer, to wallow in my pain and discomfort. The sun would not rise in this dream, it would never rise. It would be forever dark, disturbing, and cruel. I knew this was a mistake, to give in to my desires. I knew that allowing myself to return to the meadow would only cause more pain, but I had to be certain. I had to know for sure. I would not live my life with regret of not returning and never knowing if he came back or not. I had to know.

It was only a matter of minutes until I woke up to the pain. There was a new sting in my heart as I was certain that he'd never come back.

_Damn, this is really going to hurt._

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Well...? I hope that wasn't too heavy. Please tell me what you thought, still looking for a beta reader, and I will have chapter 7 out soon I'm sure. I'm pretty fast when it comes to writing. Especially since I have no one to review my work either. Thank you!


	7. The Tiny Bit of Hope

**Disclaimer: SM owns these characters**

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter, I wrote it all in a day, it was my goal since I didn't post anything this entire week. Thank you for the reviews, I love them, they make me so happy.**

**I still need a beta reader FYI. So sorry if the chapter is sloppy, it would be better if I had that beta. **

**Thank you for reading and please review!**

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 7

_The Tiny Bit of Hope_

I honestly don't know how long I can keep up with this charade. The ache in my heart has taken over my life. It has caused me to keep distant from everyone, minus Edward who has that weird way to make me forget why I hated my life. He has that strange power over me, and I draw to it, wanting more of his precious gift. He has kept me sane this entire week; every day in Biology I would walk in there like a zombie, and every day I would leave happy because of him. That happiness always ended though, once he left and his powers were out of reach, I could not retain the feeling anymore. Nevertheless, he had made me happy and I admired him for that.

Jacob would always try, but his efforts weren't as powerful. He would make me smile of course, and I would laugh around him, but I still felt the ache of pain deep inside. I was never completely happy with him while feeling this way, I couldn't forget it like I could with Edward. It was difficult to understand, Jacob out of all people should be the one to make me forget. He should be the one to make the pain go away, but he wasn't. It was Edward.

Today was Friday and I was glad. I could finally have the chance to get away from everyone constantly worrying about me. I could leave Forks and drive around, find something to do, or just find myself. I could think, I could wonder, I could let the pain take me. I decided I might as well embrace the feeling; it wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I might as well let it get the best of me while I was alone, so then hopefully I could act more like myself when I was with people. I would be less zombie like, hopefully. But that was just a theory of mine, who knew if it could actually work. If anything, the result might make everything even worse. But I had to try; I had to make the effort.

My world was falling apart and I couldn't hold myself together, I had to try anything that could help. I couldn't let go of the past, I couldn't let go of what I had shared with my dark angel. He haunted me every moment that I could think. He was everything I could have ever imagined, and he was gone. If I didn't try to forget, I would be forever damaged, forever broken, forever lifeless. My soul had been ripped apart, but I had to do whatever I could to sew it back together. I had to move on, I had to live on. Without this effort, everything would be hopeless and nothing. Without this effort, there would be no point. I would survive, even if it would be the most difficult thing I could ever do, I would survive.

Lunch had just ended and I was heading to Biology. My hope of the day would be there, Edward who was my happiness for an hour and a half would be waiting in his seat. My eyes lit up at the thought and anticipation, I greatly needed his ability to make me smile. I needed to forget the pain. I needed to forget my dark angel and focus on reality. I needed to think of Jacob and the real relationship I had, but I couldn't, and speaking with Edward certainly would not help that situation either. I completely forgot about my life when I was with him, but I didn't care, at least in that moment I didn't, I felt alive again.

I entered my Biology class and stopped almost simultaneously as I looked at my table. He wasn't there. The seat was vacant, no one sat there and my heart skipped a beat. _Edward._ My world began to crash down again as the realization sunk in. I would not be happy today, which made me feel terrible. I would not forget the pain I was in, I would not laugh and I would not smile. The boy who was able to make me forget everything, was not there, and I was filled with a rush of disappointment. Thank God it was Friday; thank God I could escape.

Biology was torture. I was completely alone; we were doing group activities so everyone was talking to their partner. Since Edward wasn't here, I was left to talk to no one. It wasn't like anyone was going to talk to me anyways; I was distant lately and had isolated myself from everyone. I would get the random "hey Bella," but that was it. Nothing more. I was left alone with my mind, which was a horrible thing.

Every couple of minutes or so I would stare at the front door hoping that Edward would burst through any second, but he never did. I would look to his seat and glare at its emptiness. I was mad, he left me here all alone, and didn't warn me beforehand that he would be absent.

The dark angel enveloped my mind, I could feel him, but he was distant, the feeling couldn't touch me like it used to. I would never be able to feel the closeness I once felt when I was with him. I could remember him, but I could never be with him when I imagined him. He would not dwell in my dreams anymore. Like the reality of the past, he was just a memory, something I could remember, but something I could never experience again. I could never go back to him, and he would never return to me, no matter how much I wanted him to. No matter how much I cried and begged for his return, he would never.

For the past week, I have dreamt of the meadow. I would go there all by myself, and cry in the lonely glimmer of light shown by the abandoned star.

The meadow was still the solemn, dark, and cold place that it had become. There was no happiness and no beauty anymore. The flowers had died and the animals had fled. The water had stopped running, and the stars had stopped shining, except the one lost star that stayed dimly lit, the poor lonesome star that fought to stay a glow to light then night by itself.

I thought about the significance of it, surely believing that the star represented me. I used to be surrounded in a world full of beauty. I used to bask in the dark angel's presence. The life at which I used to have was everything to me, all the beauty I could ever ask for. When he had left, my beauty had left with him. I was alone, just like the star in a sinister world.

The star was the little sliver of hope that was left in the world I once knew. It was the little speck of dreams that I still carried with me. The tiny hint of love that I used to have, and the tiny speckle of peace I used to obtain when I escaped to my world of beauty. I lived for that beauty, I lived for that peace, I lived for that dream, and I lived for that love. Now there was no sense for my life. I was fighting to keep shining; I was fighting to stay lit, just like the lonely innocent star. I was the only faint star in a world full of darkness. Sure, I was not bright or strong at the moment, but I was the hope, I was the dream.

I looked out the window into the woods of Forks and sighed. Today was sunny again, just like Monday had been. It was rare that we would have two sunny days in one week, and I was getting tired of seeing these days when it was a time I could not appreciate them. Today I resented the sky and its brightness, wishing that my surroundings would only represent how I felt. I was feeling completely alone and completely abandoned, very much like the poor star from my dreams. If only the sky would embody that as well.

I sat alone in silence for another half hour staring outside at the strange nature until the bell finally rang. I sulked off to gym, my least favorite class of the day.

We were playing tennis today, singles. _Wonderful. _I walked over to the farthest court and waited for someone to gather up the courage to play me. There was an advantage and a disadvantage when it came to playing me, you would easily win, but you would probably get hurt in the process.

"Hey Bella!" I heard Mike Newton yell from across the room, my back was toward him and I didn't feel like turning, so I ignored him.

"Bella!" His voice was coming closer. Great, he was running towards me. I strainfully turned my head to face his direction. Could he really not see how much of a bad mood I was in? Could he really not tell that I didn't want to speak to anybody, least of all him? Obviously he could not.

"Bella," he said again, breathing heavier than before once he finally reached me.

"Hi Mike," I said unengaged and quietly, trying to force a slight smile. I didn't care to speak to Mike, definitely not now.

"What's up?" he asked, completely oblivious of my response and state of mind.

"Not much," I said staring into space, ready for the day to be over.

"So, I see you and that Cullen guy have been talking a lot lately. I don't like it." I shot a look at Mike; I was not expecting him to mention Edward at all. He would never talk about anyone but himself if it included a guy. Who was he to say he didn't like who I talked to anyways? What was he my father? He had no right.

"Yeah I talk to him, he's a friend. It's none of your business anyways." I glared at him, but a part of me was happy that we were talking about Edward. It felt as if his presence was here in a way, slightly, but still here.

"I just don't want you interacting with the wrong kind of people Bella," he said in a shocked tone, finally taking notice of my mood.

"Wrong kind of people? Edward is not a bad person; I have no idea what you are talking about." I said snarling, Mike was becoming aghast.

"He doesn't have a very good reputation," Mike said attempting to defend himself while I became angry.

"Bad reputation? He just moved here Mike!" I was appalled with Mike at the moment. I wanted so much for the conversation to come to an end.

"I've still heard things." He said with disgust as I defended Edward.

"Like what? That he's a new student?" I scoffed. Mike narrowed his eyebrows.

"Like he's slept with girls at our school already," he spitted out. My mind did loops as I processed what Mike had just said. That couldn't be true. Edward _just _moved here, it couldn't possibly be true. He was a new student. He was Edward, the sweet, funny, gorgeous Edward. A part of him just seemed so innocent too, like he couldn't possibly do such a thing – but of course that could just be my ignorance playing in. He is extremely gorgeous, why wouldn't he be someone like that?

He is the epitome of a Greek god; he has a voice like an angel, a body to die for, and has the ability to dazzle me every day. But it was Edward; he wouldn't use that to get with a girl. Would he? Maybe I really didn't know him; I just met him after all. I couldn't honestly know the real Edward Cullen, but a huge part of me believed he was innocent. A huge part of me believed that this was all a lie.

"And the girls are?" I asked, trying to collect evidence that this crazy accusation was false. Mike stumbled on what to say next. Perfect.

"I….don't actually…have names." He said looking down and scratching the back of his head. I smiled.

"Then it is a rumor. Edward couldn't have possibly done that, unless you have a name." I said triumphantly. Mike's eyes lit up, as if he just remembered a vital piece of information.

"I do have a name, I can't believe I forgot it," he said relieved now.

"Who?" I looked at him curiously.

"Jessica Stanley," he proclaimed happily like he had just won the argument. I was in complete shock. Jessica Stanley, she would have loved the chance to get with Edward, but he wouldn't go for someone like her, at least, I didn't think he would. _No, it couldn't be possible_.

"And who told you this?" I asked suspiciously.

"Jessica Stanley herself." He stated with a smug expression. I was disgusted. Certainly Jessica would have told me this herself. She would have been thrilled to tell me she had slept with Edward Cullen, the new God of our school. Maybe she had tried. I thought about that for a moment.

I do remember Jessica trying to tell me in math two days ago something very important that had happened to her. I didn't pay attention what so ever. She began to speak at the end of the class, but the bell rang and she couldn't tell me what had happened. I didn't care either way; I only wanted the day to be over, so I didn't think twice about it.

But now I wondered – was she trying to tell me that she did have sex with Edward? I only hoped that she wasn't, that this was all a lie. If it was true, my regular escape would be another disappointment. The positive hero persona in my life would be another hopeless dream that would soon contort into a nightmare.

"I don't believe you." I said sure of myself. Mike felt betrayed.

"Fine don't believe me, just don't get your heart broken when you find out the truth," he scoffed. I was pissed.

"Why would I get my heart broken? We are just friends, if you haven't noticed; I've been dating Jacob for the past 12 years." I hissed.

"Jacob who? I haven't seen you near him since Edward arrived. Are you sure you're still dating him?" He snickered at me. I would have punched Mike in the face right then, but I decided he was a waste of my energy. He was doing a hell of a job to make me angry.

"Of course I'm still dating Jacob, I love him. That will never change."

"Sure it won't, just like Edward hasn't slept with Jess." That was all he had to say for my hands to turn into fists.

"Mike Newton, get away from me right now if you know what's good for you," I said shaking. He took a step back with a shocked face, and then quickly smirked again.

"What are you gonna do Bella, punch me in the face?" He said teasing me.

"That is _exactly_ what I am going to do," I said wickedly, smiling at the thought.

"I'd like to see you try," he smiled, as we began to circle each other. Mike had no idea that when I was little Charlie would teach me how to punch like a boy, he did it for self-defense. I now thanked him for that. Even though I was clumsy, I could still throw one hell of a punch.

"Edward slept with Jess," he began to say. My heart was racing and I could feel the adrenaline pumping, I felt so alive. I was ready to give Mike what he deserved.

"Edward slept with Jess," he teased again, "Edward slept with Jess." He stopped where he was and began to laugh. That was all I needed and I went for it.

My right arm swung to his left eye, harder than I had ever punched anyone before.

"Holy shit Bella!" He said as he grabbed his eye. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Pain shot through my hand and it hurt to open and close.

"Owww!" I yelled, "I think you broke my hand!"

"I broke your hand?" he yelled angrily. "You're the one who punched me! It's your damn fault for breaking it. Jesus Bella, I'm going to have a black eye."

"Don't even act like you didn't deserve it," I said as I held my hurt hand with the other and squinted in pain.

Coach Hoff walked towards us, his eyebrows narrowed together.

"What is going on here?" he yelled sternly.

Even though I currently hate Mike Newton, he wasn't a complete dumbass. He didn't want to get in trouble as much as I didn't want to talk to him. And I'm sure he didn't want anyone to know that he had gotten punched by a girl. I was almost thankful for his pride, almost.

"Nothing, Bella just hit me with her tennis racket by accident, she was serving and the racket flew from her hand into my eye." Mike knew that this was a believable statement. Everyone knew my clumsiness, especially Coach Hoff, who wouldn't believe the story if it was anyone else but me.

"Bella Swan, is this true?" Coach Hoff asked questioningly.

"Yes," I said bluntly with my nose in the air.

"What happened to your hand?" Coach Hoff asked as he saw me holding my hand.

"I hit it with the racket a few times by accident," I lied.

"Both of you go to the nurse," he looked from my hand to Mike's eye then back to me, "and get some ice while you're at it."

We nodded then walked off to the nurse, not talking to each other or looking at each other along the way. I was still completely angry with Mike and he was probably still pissed that I had punched him. I didn't care however, he honestly deserved it.

When we reached the nurse's office, she taped my hand and iced Mike's eye. There wasn't much you could do for a black eye, just ice it and give it time to heal. Mike resented me for that, and I gloated in my win. Although, he did enjoy when I'd squint at the pain my hand was causing me, he thought of it as his own personal revenge. Mike did have some polite aspects, for one, he did not hit girls. That was one of the very few things I liked about Mike.

By the time we returned to gym, the bell rang. I changed back into my regular school clothes and quickly walked to my car. Jacob was there waiting for me like always.

"Hey Bel-" he began to say until he saw my hand. His face became concerned. "What happened to you?" His face was hard.

"I punched Mike Newton," I said happily. Jacob's face softened and he began to laugh.

"Yeah right Bella, no really what happened?" I narrowed my eyebrows.

"No really, I punched him." I said, getting angry that he didn't believe I could do such a thing. He laughed even louder.

"Really? That's awesome!" He said. I smiled.

"Yup,"

"What was the reason?" he asked curiously. I didn't want to mention Edward, it felt too personal to speak about him with Jacob. I didn't want him to know I had defended him.

"He was just saying really mean things and I had had enough of it." I didn't lie; I just didn't tell Jacob the whole truth.

"Oh, I'm sure he deserved whatever he got," Jacob smiled hugging me.

"He did," I replied. As much as I liked hugging Jacob, I was ready to go home. I was still feeling terrible. All the emotional pain I was going through was beginning to creep back to the surface; on top of that, I now had physical pain to endure.

"I'm going to go home now, I'll call you later." I said looking at Jacob. He nodded, and kissed my forehead. Lately he didn't ask me much on how I was feeling or if I wanted to hang out with him. He knew the best thing to do was to give me space so I could gather myself. He knew I needed to clear my mind and get away from anything that could trigger my pain. He believed that he was one of the main causes, always blaming himself for that fateful day on the cliff. He could never let it go, therefore he didn't object to giving me space. He only nodded and then granted me what I wanted, even though the cliff had nothing to do with why I was feeling so horrible, but he didn't know that. He was eager enough anyways to go hang out with Quil and Embry, so I didn't feel too bad.

I climbed into my truck, turned on the engine, and quickly drove home. When I arrived, I was greeted at the door by my parents. It looked like they were leaving the house.

"Hey guys, where are you two off to?" I asked carrying my backpack and heading towards the door. Renee and Charlie both looked up, Renee smiled and Charlie let out a sigh. Obviously Renee was dragging him somewhere he did not want to go.

"Me and your father are going out to eat and then to a movie," she said smirking. Charlie huffed and jumped into his cruiser. "We'll be back late honey; you should get out of the house too. Go hang out with Jacob or Angela, someone, you need fresh air."

"Yeah, I was planning on getting out of the house anyways, just came by to drop my stuff off," I admitted. Renee nodded her head approvingly.

"Enjoy yourself sweetie." She said in more of a demand than a gesture.

I heard Charlie grumble in the cruiser and we both looked at him. He gestured to Renee to hurry up. She laughed.

How Renee got Charlie to get out of the house was beyond me, but I didn't question it. "Okay, I will, have fun," I said as I walked inside the door.

I heard them leave as I dropped off my stuff onto the counter. I didn't know where I was going to go; I only knew that I had to go somewhere, anywhere but here.

I went back to my truck and sat in it, wondering where I could go. I decided on the idea of driving to the bookstore. I could buy a nice book and sit in the store and read all night. That would be good to keep my mind from thinking anything unwanted. It was a good idea to distract myself from the pain. I turned on the Chevy and drove.

I pulled into the parking lot, turned off the truck's engine, and jumped out of the truck. There was barely anyone here. Of course there wasn't, who goes to a bookstore on a Friday night? Apparently I do.

I walked inside and scavenged for a good book to read. Aisle after aisle I walked down, searching for some piece of literature that would stand out to me, but so far nothing had. I was becoming desperate to find a book, but nothing interested me. I was not in the mood for a romance, nor a tragedy. I wasn't particularly interested in mystery or adventure at the moment either. There was nothing that suited my mood, nothing that could satisfy me. I walked down the last aisle with little hope, and my eyes lit up. It was not a book that I had found, but a person.

"Bella?" He asked in his deep beautiful voice.

"Edward?" I asked in sweet surprise. "What are you doing here?"

He smirked at me then replied, "Shouldn't I be asking you the same thing?" Edward always had some witty remark when he talked to me. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"I was just looking for a book," I said. He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh, what book?"

"I don't know, I couldn't find anything that interested me." I said sighing. "This was the last aisle before I was about to give up and go home." Edward laughed, but I didn't understand why.

"Well, Isabella Swan, I think today is your lucky day," he said mischievously smiling. I raised my eyebrows at his remark.

"And why is that?" I asked, enjoying this conversation.

"I just happened to have stumbled across a very interesting book. It has 'Bella' written all over it," he grinned.

"Oh really? And what is the name of this book?"

"I believe it is called 'Bella and Edward talk over dinner,'" I was surprised, but I smiled. "Just as friends of course," he added with a wink and a crooked smile. He knew I had a boyfriend, but at the moment with his charm and his smile, I completely forgot.

"You want to go out to dinner with me?" I asked shocked, but extremely happy.

"Yes Bella, I want to go out to dinner with you," he laughed rolling his eyes.

"Okay," I breathed out, "let's go to dinner." He smiled brilliantly again and led me to the exit of the library.

"We can take my car, if you don't mind, then I'll drop you off to your truck later." I nodded as we headed towards his Volvo.

The passenger side was closest to us and Edward opened the door for me. "Such a gentleman," I said, impressed by his politeness. He laughed and shut the door behind me once I was fully in then walked to his side.

He looked really nice, very well dressed. He was wearing light colors again as usual, ivory and khaki tones that looked beautiful against his skin. He was magnificent looking and perfect in every way. Then I remembered what Mike had told me earlier today, and my hopes of the perfect boy fell. Edward could not possibly be like that. He was such a gentleman; he was such a good person. He couldn't, I would not believe it.

"So where are we heading?" I asked curiously. Edward briefly glanced at me then back at the wheel, I could see his crooked smile forming onto his face.

"Just a small quiet café I have recently discovered. I really like it; it's a good place to talk." I smiled.

Edward slowed down the car and pulled into a secluded area filled with a few shops and a quaint little café. It looked very peaceful and fun to just hang out and relax. I would remember this place for when I'd have to leave again and go somewhere to think.

Edward quickly parked the car and opened the door for me. I really enjoyed his politeness, it seemed so old-fashioned, I wasn't used to it. Jacob never treated me like this, but I never really did mind.

We walked inside the café; it was beautifully decorated with warm colors and modern décor. There was soft music playing in the background, and the vibe of the place was entirely soothing and comforting. I adored the café; I couldn't believe I had never been here before.

"I really like this place," I said to Edward while looking everywhere and taking it all in. He looked at me and smiled.

"I like it too." He grabbed my hand and led me toward a secluded table in a far corner of the room. I didn't mind him holding my hand, it didn't seem wrong; it was just a simple innocent gesture that I didn't disapprove of. But when we touched, I felt that little jolt of electricity between us. I was becoming used to it now; Edward couldn't help but accidentally bump into me in Biology or in the hallways. Though every time I felt it, a feeling of familiarity would rush over me, and I welcomed the strange sensation.

Edward pulled my chair out for me and I sat down. He then sat in his own chair next to mine. I didn't delay; I began to ask him questions right away.

"So where were you today? You're obviously not sick," I gestured to his healthy appearance. Edward chuckled and nodded.

"I went on a hike with my father today. We haven't hiked in a while, and today was such a rare and beautiful day that he decided I could stay home from school and explore the woods of Forks, Washington with him."

"I wish my parents would let me do such things," I said shaking my head.

"Yeah, it's pretty fun, but I'm sure I have a lot to catch up on at school."

"Yeah, you missed out on a group activity in Biology, but Mr. Banner loves you so I'm sure you won't have to make it up." Edward's expression hardened.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there today," he said as if he knew how I had felt today, as if he knew I counted on him being there so I could feel happy for a few moments.

"That's okay, you can't always be at school," I smirked trying to cover up the sudden intensity of the conversation.

"I know, but-"

"Edward, really it's okay." I wanted to change the subject, anything, "I heard something about you today." I said, _Crap, why did I say that? Bad subject change, dumbass Bella._

Edwards raised an eyebrow, "And what was that?" I did not want to have this conversation with him, if it was true, I did not want to know. I wanted to pretend that Edward was still the perfect being that he was, even if that meant I had to lie to myself every day.

"Nothing," I said quickly. Edward's face became serious.

"Bella, what is it?"

_Crap._

"I was talking to Mike Newton today…" I hesitated.

"And….?" Edward seemed anxious for me to speak. I didn't respond.

"Bella, please tell me-"

"Mike Newton said, for better words, that you have been a little risqué so to speak with Jessica Stanley….and other girls," I breathed out quickly. Edward's face played many expressions so quickly I couldn't keep up. I saw shock, then anger, then frustration, and then shock again, even humor until he turned his face into a calm expression.

"Do you believe him?" He asked. He looked deep into my eyes. I knew I didn't believe Mike, I trusted Edward, at least, I wanted to trust Edward. Even though it was none of my business and I had no right in his love life, I shouldn't even care regardless – but I couldn't help it.

"No." I said quietly.

"Good," Edward sighed, "Because that is _definitely_ not true." I sighed with relief, I had to believe him. Edward stared off for a moment thinking, then began to laugh. I was astonished, why was he laughing?

"Why are you laughing?" I asked amazed at the situation.

"Me and Jessica Stanley." He slowly annunciated. He laughed again, "as if."

I began to laugh too. That _was_ a funny idea, to imagine Edward and Jessica together. I tried not to picture it though; it also hurt to see Edward with someone, especially someone like Jessica. She did not deserve him; no one deserved a guy like Edward.

Just then a waitress came to our table to ask us if we wanted anything to eat. Surprisingly I wasn't hungry, and neither was Edward. We just ordered two coffees and then sat there looking at each other.

"So the rumor is completely false?" I asked still curious. "No other girls?"

"Yes Bella!" Edward exclaimed still laughing, "Of course it's false!"

I was completely relieved. _Thank God._ Edward was still the perfect boy I envisioned. Nothing could ruin him. I drank some of the coffee that the waitress brought and smiled in relief.

"Besides, I don't really have a taste for the girls at our school." My face fell, he basically said I was of no interest to him. He caught my expression and laughed again, "minus one." My eyes shot to his face, could he be talking about me? No, why would he? I ignored his response, thinking that I was hearing things. _Damn it Bella, you're in a relationship, _I thought to myself. It was true, I was dating Jacob, I shouldn't be hoping that Edward was talking about me, I shouldn't care about any of it – but I so strangely wish it was me that he was implying. A part of me wants it to be so badly.

Edward slowly stopped laughing, crawling into a slight chuckle.

"I do wonder though, why Mike would make up such an absurd lie." He seemed to concentrate, trying to formulate some sort of explanation for Mike's odd behavior.

"I don't know, Jacob always told me he had a thing for me, maybe he was trying to keep you away from me," I said without thinking what I had just spoken, _you idiot Bella,_ "as if there was anything to worry about," I quickly added, realizing how stupid I am for saying that. Edward smirked at me.

"Right…nothing to worry about," he grinned. I was confused by his response, but instead of questioning it, I accepted it. I looked away from Edward's beautiful green eyes and stared at the room when I noticed an interestingly shaped clock on the wall.

"Whoa, Its 10 O'clock. We've been here for hours." I looked back at Edward and he was smiling.

"I know. It seems as if we had just arrived." He didn't seem surprised at all, he just sat in his chair, calm and beautiful, smiling at me. He seemed so mysterious, in the night; it was peculiar and magnificent to look at him. He always seemed in control of situations, he always seemed to know what he wanted and how to get it. I could not object to his assertiveness.

"Do you have to get going?" Edward asked, still calm and serene. I was puzzled.

"Oh, uh no, I don't have to be anywhere. Not tonight." Edward was happy at my response.

"Good." He said, "Then we can talk some more." I nodded and smiled.

"I was wondering if you could tell me more about yourself," I added to his statement. He grinned.

"What would you like to know?" He asked.

"Was it hard, moving from Alaska to Forks?" Edward thought about it for a second.

"Not really, I'm used to moving; my family moves around a lot. My dad gets a lot of job offers, so we relocate to various places. Usually we stay in an area for a couple of years then move on to the next opportunity."

"Are you going to move away from Forks anytime soon?" I asked slightly concerned. Edward caught my tone and smiled.

"No, my family is very fond of this place; I think we will actually stay here for a very long time."

"That's good," I said pleased by his response.

"Besides, I think I'm beginning to like Forks very much." He smirked at me and I blushed. "It would be a shame to leave now."

"I wouldn't want you to leave," I admitted, surprised that I actually said such a bold statement. He seemed pleased with my comment.

I looked at the clock again; it was much later than the last time I had checked it.

"Do you need to get going?" Edward asked like before.

"Yeah," I quietly confessed, even though I really didn't want to leave. If I could, I would have stayed all night at the little café talking with Edward. He was a breath of fresh air, but I did have a curfew.

He stood up from his chair, placed some money on the table for the drinks and we walked to the door.

"I had a really good time Edward, thanks for taking me here."

"The pleasure was all my mine," he politely said in his very charming way.

We were out of the café and walking to his car now, he opened the door for me and I clumsily slid in. Edward laughed at my lack of grace as he walked to his door.

"Thanks," I sneered. He continued to laugh.

"It amazes me how clumsy you are Bella. I have never seen someone so accident prone in my entire life." I scoffed at his comment.

"It's not like you've lived that long anyways, there's plenty of time for you to meet someone less coordinated than I."

"Sure," he chuckled.

We began to drive back to the bookstore where my truck was parked. It was very bright for the night; I looked to the sky, a full moon.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Edward commented.

"It is," I said in awe. "I haven't seen one in a while so big and bright like that. Usually it is covered up by clouds."

"They don't show up except on special nights," he said smiling. I blushed again.

We reached the bookstore, it was closed and all the lights were turned off. Edward turned the Volvo off and quickly helped me out of the car. He walked me to my truck.

"Thank you for reading my book," he smirked, and then I remembered how he asked me out tonight.

"Oh yes, who could pass up the book 'Edward and Bella talk over dinner,' though there wasn't much of a dinner now was there?" Edward grinned.

"Sorry about that, I was so intrigued by our conversation that I forgot about food."

I laughed, "That's alright, I was too intrigued by our conversation as well." We both laughed and Edward's bright green eyes gleamed at me.

"Maybe next time we will eat." He stated.

"Maybe," I grinned. So there would be a next time? I smiled at the thought.

"Goodnight Bella," Edward said musically.

"Goodnight Edward."

He stared into my eyes for a moment then slowly turned away, I wanted to touch him so badly, hug him, hold his hand, something, and it felt as if he might have wanted to too. The look he gave me seemed personal and intimate, I blushed then gave him a warm smile. He winked at me then walked off to his pretty silver Volvo.

I jumped into my truck and drove away to my house. I couldn't believe what I had just done. _What a night, _I thought_, Edward Cullen. _I was happy again, not for a single second did I think of the pain that I was in. I was still on my Edward high as I drove home. The pain wasn't creeping back quite yet like it usually does once I leave Edward.

I parked in my driveway and saw that Charlie and Renee were still gone. I walked upstairs and went to my room. I was exhausted. I fell on my bed and closed my eyes, too lazy to even change my clothes.

As I fell into a deep sleep, the pain that had been kept away slowly began to creep back into my life as I entered the dark cold meadow. The realization of my aching heart began to thump and all I could feel was the loss. I laid in the same beam of faint light and began the same ritual, crying till I woke up.

But this time as I cried, I had a tiny bit of hope that resided deep within me. Now I could think of Edward, and now I could be slightly happy, even when I wasn't with him, but only slightly. The pain was still much stronger than anything else I had ever experienced, nevertheless, the tiny bit of hope was everything to me now.

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I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was interesting to write. If you have any questions you can PM me. Please take the time to write a review, I would love to hear what you have to say. Thank you!


	8. Assurance

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does. **

**A/N: Thank you for reading, I hope you have enjoyed the story so far. It has been very interesting writing it. I have the largest playlist, but I find epic music to be most inspiring. I suggest listening to music by "Two Steps From Hell, Audiomachine, and X-Ray Dog," they do music for movie trailers, soundtracks, etc... They are amazing. Two Steps From Hell did the song "Moving Mountains" from the New Moon trailer and they also did the "Mercy In Darkness" for the Twilight trailer. X-Ray Dog's song "The Power of One" was used in the Twilight trailer as well. They are beautiful compositions and I think you should definitely take a chance to listen to them. Their music is absolutely wonderful. **

**Also, I still need a beta reader! And I would really appreciate it if you could review my story. Author's write to be listened, to touch people's hearts with their work. How could they know if they've touched someone if no one tells them? It makes my day to know that someone enjoy's my story, even if they don't like it, it encourages me to be a better writer. But I will never know, or never be able to fix my mistakes if I am never told. So please, it only takes a few seconds, write a review and make someone's day. Thank you. **

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 8

_Assurance_

"I can't take this anymore Bella! I can't see you like this anymore!" Jacob was angrily speaking to me in a low voice, and I was in complete shock at his sudden explosion. I hadn't talked to him for days, it was Monday and we were in first period. I did not call him over the weekend like I had said I would. After I had gone to the café with Edward, I was nonexistent to the world. If Charlie and Renee hadn't checked on me once in a while in my bedroom, it would have seemed as if no one was even home, or alive. I was dead, in a way, and I'm sure Jacob thought so too.

I looked at Jake with wide eyes. He seemed completely frustrated and worried.

"Bella, please, I can't take this anymore. I don't know what's going on with you. I don't know how to help you, I'm trying, but I don't know what to do Bella. By God, you need to stop this, walking around like a zombie! It scares the shit out of me, and I feel like I am losing you Bella. God I am losing you!"

I was overwhelmed with the sudden attack of emotions that I couldn't begin to rationalize the situation. I needed help, I needed to forget the pain I was in, for Jake's sake, but I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how long I would have to suffer, I couldn't stop it. It was like my nightmares that kept coming back and back and back. The pain would not leave, it would not subside. It was forever launched into me, causing me to undergo such immense agony and torture that I was about to break. How long would I have to put up with this? My dark angel felt so real, something fake couldn't possibly cause this much damage. My dark angel must be a real person. He must exist somewhere, or else this was all for nothing, or else all these tears have been wasted.

If he was not real, then I could not possibly hurt this badly. If he was not real, then I wouldn't feel as if I had lost a part of me, a huge part of me, my other half. He was my soul mate, this dark stranger who had come into my life. He was my dream, my perfect match, and he had vanished. You are not supposed to be able to go on without your soul mate, your true love. And somehow I am here, living each day, barely of course, but living nonetheless.

I would have never expected it to get harder day after day. I thought it would slowly stop, fade away like an old bruise or a measly scratch. But this ache, this problem, was like a disease, it only got worse with time. It would grow and grow day by day until I finally lost the strength to stand it any longer. It would grow stronger until I became too weak to fight it any more. I was losing this battle with my heart. I was losing this battle with my sanity. I needed some kind of help, from where it didn't matter, just as long as I got it.

"I'm sorry Jake, I-"

"Bella, don't apologize. I am sorry for causing you whatever pain you are in, last year when-"  
"Jake, do not blame yourself, this is not about what happened last year at the cliffs. Please, stop blaming yourself for that. It was not your fault." I looked into Jacob's eyes pleading for him to drop it, he looked anguished.

"I can't Bella. I can't forgive myself. Please just tell me what's going on." He pleaded. I had to lie to him; I couldn't tell him that I was suffering because of the loss of someone I was in love with.

He would be confused, thinking that he was right there and that he wasn't going anywhere, where in reality I wasn't even talking about him. It was my dark angel whom I was grieving over, not Jacob. As bad as that was, I could not ignore those feelings. Yes, I loved Jacob, but not in the way that I had loved the mysterious boy. He was everything to me, my light in the darkest of night. He was the beauty of my world, and now it was filled with ugliness. I could not live in a world without my dark angel, but somehow I was surviving, somehow I was strong enough to go on.

"I'm just having nightmares again, horrible, vivid nightmares that will not go away. They feel so real, and it hurts so much." I did not completely lie to Jacob, but most of it was not the truth. I was not having nightmares, but I could consider the dark nights in the dead meadow to be sad and depressing. They would remind me of the boy's absence which was horrific in all things said. Though I was hurting, and my dark angel did feel real; of course that was not a lie.

I was about to cry, but I couldn't. I was in school and people would begin to stare. I did not want an audience for the intense conversation Jacob and I were having. It was bad enough just to have the conversation in general, and to have people listening was entirely uncalled for. I could not bear the extra attention, I hated it enough as it was.

"I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately Jake. I just feel completely lost, like a part of me is missing and I don't know why." Jacob reached for my hand and his face was an expression of understanding.

"I'm so sorry Bells. I'm so sorry, I just don't know how to help you when you're like this, and I hate seeing you in so much pain. It is driving me insane." He said, the anguish was still in his eyes and I could tell he was hurting.

The last thing I wanted to do was to let this pain inside me affect Jacob as well. I would never intentionally hurt him, and to see him in agony because of my selfishness was too much to handle. Because I couldn't let go of my unrealistic dark angel, I couldn't let go of the pain, causing Jacob to suffer with me. It hurt me even more to see him miserable. And to know that I was causing him this distress made my heart drop to the floor heavy with guilt. I looked into his eyes, squeezed his hand, and thought to myself, _I am so sorry Jake._

I knew this situation was destroying him, it was destroying us, and I didn't want that. The real love in my life Jacob, was what I wanted, at least what I did want, what I thought I wanted. He was comfort, he was the familiar, and it scared me to explore the unknown, especially when I already had a good solid love to begin with.

If I wanted any kind of happiness, then I'd have to let go of my dark angel, but that would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. If I wanted to see Jacob happy again, I would have to forget the boy, I would have to forget the happiness and love he made me feel. I would have to forget my world, the world I loved and desired. It was like starting from scratch, a new beginning, a new story. I did not want to forget and start over, but I knew that I had to. For Jacob's sanity and happiness, I had to.

"It's okay Jake, I promise I'll get better soon, I just need some time." I said trying to fix the situation.

"Take your time; I want you to be Bella the right way." I nodded and gave him a faint smile. He mirrored my face. Just then the bell rang.

We both got up and began to pack our belongings. Jacob finished before me and then helped me with my things. I finished packing and we walked out of the classroom together.

We didn't speak as we walked, he wanted to give me time and so that was what he was doing. We reached my class and Jacob kissed me softly on my forehead before letting me go. He looked deeply into my eyes and I could see the worried little Jacob I once knew when we were younger for a fraction of a second. He then turned his head, but before he did, I saw the agony return to his eyes and watched him walk off.

He was still hurting, and it was because of me. My eyes began to glisten as I could feel I was slowly losing my grasp of control on my emotions. I tried to dry them up before entering class.

As I collected myself, I walked in and saw Jessica. She did not wave to me today or urge me to sit down next to her. I had ignored her lately, due to my lack of response to anyone, and she probably took that as a personal offense. I didn't really care because it wasn't about her, but I still felt guilty. I didn't mean to ignore her, the last week felt like a blur. All I could remember was talking to Edward every day, and the pain. _Oh God the pain._

It hurt so much to think of him, the dark boy who used to live in my dreams. The boy who used to make me smile with complete bliss, his leave caused an unwanted presence, the presence of pain and suffering. When he left, he took the beauty of my world with him. He took the beauty of living with him. I didn't care for anything anymore, all I felt was the deep aching that grew stronger every day, and the guilt growing stronger as I ignored everyone.

I did however have one source of happiness left in my distorted world. Edward. He brought me back to life; he brought the light into the meadow. He was that faint little glimmer from the star. Maybe I wasn't the one who represented the dimly lit star, maybe it was Edward. After my dark angel left, Edward entered my life. He slowly brought back the happiness and love that I had lost. He brought back some of the beauty that had vanished. Edward was the star, the little shining speck of hope that flourished night after night, never dying and always fighting. He was fighting to keep me afloat, to keep me from giving up. He was my hope, my light, my star.

I decided that I would talk to Jessica today, apologize for being so lifeless lately. It was the least I could do for treating her like she didn't matter.

"Hey Jessica," I said as I sat down next to her. She seemed surprised by my sudden welcoming and didn't look at me. Maybe she didn't hear me.

"Hey Jessica," I repeated, she then turned to me with a sour look.

"You're talking to me now Bella? What, am I good enough to talk to again?" She asked with a bitchy tone. I wasn't entirely shocked; I expected a reaction similar to this to come out of Jessica's mouth. She was very predictable. I decided to cut out the remarks and go straight into the apology.

"I'm sorry Jessica, I've been so out of it lately, I didn't mean to ignore you and you didn't deserve it." Jessica looked at me shocked, and then changed her face to an expression of pride.

"Yeah whatever Bella, like I know you've been going through stuff, but so have I. I mean, Mike has been so frustrating lately, he's been making this rumor about me that I had sex with Edward Cullen. Don't get me wrong I would _love_ it if that had actually happened, and I probably wouldn't deny it either, but Mike of all people spreading it. I'm going through some crap too and when I needed to talk to you, you ignored me. You were a freakin' zombie again."

"I'm sorry Jess, I really am." I said apologetically. "I heard about the rumor," Jessica didn't look surprised. Then I added, "I punched Mike for it." Jessica then raised an eyebrow.

"So that's what happened to Mike's eye." She said to herself with a mischievous smile. I smiled too, remembering the hit and how wonderful it felt. Well, it hurt like a bitch, but the feeling of punching Mike was great.

"Yes, he was being an ass; he was making stuff up about you and Edward." I said trying to make her happy by lying and saying I was defending her honor. If it was between her and someone other than Edward, then certainly I would have defended her, but it was Edward. All I could do was think of him and defend him and hate Jessica for the rumor.

"So you punched Mike Newton. I am very impressed Bella, I didn't know you had it in you." She smirked to herself then looked at me approvingly. It seemed all was forgiven.

"Thank you," I smiled to her. Her face turned to a different kind of smile, but this was a smile like _I know what you did_ kind of smile.

"What?" I asked curiously and confused.

"I heard you and Edward have been getting along quite well," she said with a huge smirk.

"Yeah, we have Biology together. He is great," I said as if there was no gossip to the conversation. She raised an eyebrow.

"I bet he's great. So have you guys hung out at all?" She asked, hoping for some good gossip. I didn't know what to say. Should I tell her the truth? But in doing so, would it get back to Jake? I didn't really want him to know that I had been with Edward over the weekend when I didn't even contact Jacob whatsoever. I could see him getting mad in my mind and attacking Edward. I didn't want either of them to get hurt.

Or should I tell Jessica a lie? Should I tell her that Edward and I have only talked in Biology? Surely Jessica could see through my lies too, everyone could. I was a terrible liar, and anyone that knew me could agree on that.

I was stumped, lie or truth? I had to make a decision quick, Jessica was getting antsy.

"Uhh…we...I…um…well…" I didn't know what to say. Jessica smiled.

"You guys so hung out." She stated, not even a question. She knew by the way I was stumbling over words, she knew we had been together outside of school. _Damn._

"I can't believe it Bella! You hung out with Edward Cullen! You lucky slut!" She was so excited, but I'm sure secretly she was thinking _Why would Edward Cullen hang out with Bella Swan? Yeah, she was pretty, but Edward Cullen. The boy is a God. _I didn't care what she was thinking though, it made me smile knowing that I had indeed hung out with Edward, the most gorgeous boy I had ever laid my eyes on.

It felt weird saying that, I always considered Jake to be one of the most handsome boys I had known, but since Edward came into my life, there was really no comparison. Edward won completely in the looks category. Yes, Jacob was still very handsome, even beautiful in a way, but Edward's looks far succeeded Jake's. He was a strange beautiful, he had a face I could never even imagine looking similar to someone else's. It was so unique, so perfectly detailed and crafted. His jaw line in itself was beyond words, breathtaking, fully defined, perfect. His eyes were two beautiful gems, the brightest and deepest emeralds I could have ever dreamed of. His face was perfectly symmetrical, nothing too exaggerated and nothing too insignificant. Every curve, ever surface, spot, angle was amazingly completed to perfection. He was beyond perfect; he was the epitome of perfection. I couldn't say the word perfect enough to describe him. His bronze tousled hair was casually strewed in a beautiful messy array.

There was nothing I disliked by Edwards looks. His body matched his face as much as anything. Flawlessly sculpted and defined to the max, he was a gift from God himself. He was sent here for every girl to weep upon his immense and impossible beauty. He could only be described as the most amazing creature to have ever existed in the entire universe, including heaven. I'd even say he _was _heaven.

I could even say he was hell. Sent here to torture every girl by looking at him and knowing they could never have him, knowing that their beauty could never match his own. He was too perfect, too beautiful for anyone else. He was a living reminder that every day we could never be with such a beautiful person, that we could never be as beautiful either. Imagining Edward with anyone made me beyond jealous. I couldn't picture him with anyone, no one was good enough. No one deserved him.

Luckily, Edward's outside matched his inside as well. He was the most humble, sweet, eloquent, funny, and charming person I had ever known. Edward had the amazing ability to make me smile and laugh when no one else could. He made happiness touch my eyes and my heart, not just my lips. He could make me tingle at his touch, and yearn for his company. He was a siren, calling me to him. I could not ignore such a siren call; I could not deny such a powerful being. He was perfect, in every way possible, inside and out. No wonder boys envied him and girls drooled over him. Who would not want to be, or be with Edward Cullen?

Jessica chimed in on my thinking, "So how did this even happen? Where did you guys go? What did you two do?" She was beyond curious, and she was beyond excited. I just smiled.

"We met at a bookstore Friday night. I was looking for a book and couldn't find anything, I was about to go home when I went down the last aisle and there was Edward. He looked at me and smiled and we went from there. We ended up going to this really pretty little café and talked for hours." Jessica was in complete concentration. She asked for every single detail and made me tell the story twice to get everything exactly right.

We both sat there in silence when she was finally done asking questions. She looked as if she was in deep thought. Then as if a light bulb went on above her brain, she smiled and then looked at me.

"I think he likes you Bella." She said with a huge grin. "I think he _really_ likes you."

I thought for a moment about what she said. _Could Edward really possibly like me? Edward Cullen of all people, like me, Bella Swan?_ It couldn't be; I couldn't see it. _Why? Why me?_ There are plenty of girls better than me that Edward could have. He could have anyone, and the thought of him wanting me was beyond absurd. I laughed, and Jessica gave me an annoyed look.

"Bella, think about it. He asked you out for goodness sake! He winked at you! Seriously? Are you that blind?" It hit me like a brick wall, maybe Jessica was right. Maybe Edward _did_ like me, _does_ like me. I smiled even bigger at the thought. How nice would it be to have Edward Cullen be with _me_?

_Wait, I can't think about this. Jacob. I can't do this to Jacob._

I couldn't, I already caused him so much pain. I couldn't possibly add on to it by liking Edward. It was sick, it was terrible of me. I loved Jacob, didn't I? Well, if I loved him, how could I be thinking such things? How could I let my dark angel rule over me like he had, and how could I let Edward Cullen enter my life like he was doing? If I was supposed to be with Jacob, then I couldn't let anything get in the way of us, then these things shouldn't be able to get in the way. But they were, they were creeping into my life as if they were the ones that belonged. Did they belong? Were they supposed to be here?

There was no way of being certain. I either had to let them go and never give them a chance, or I had to let Jacob go and lose everything I had with him. I wasn't sure if I was able to risk it, to drop what took years to create for something that took days. Would it be worth it? There was only one way to find out.

Surely I could try and get to know Edward; we could hang out more just as friends. Jacob couldn't get angry at that, but he was the jealous type, especially if it were to involve Edward, the perfect boy. He was an angel in my world of darkness, if he made me happy, Jacob could not object. I didn't even have to tell Jacob. It wasn't a big deal; I wasn't doing anything with Edward. We were just friends, right? At least, I thought we were, but according to Jessica, Edward wanted more. Should I object to that?

It was strange, I knew I should object, but a part of me, a huge part of me, wanted to be with Edward. It wanted to give him a chance. It was such a strong feeling too, like it knew he was supposed to be in my life and it felt so familiar. I didn't know if I should give in to my instincts or let my brain do the feeling for me. My instincts were telling me Edward, but my brain was telling me Jacob. I didn't even dare to figure out what my heart was telling me.

"I don't know what to do Jess, and please don't tell anyone this. If this got back to Jacob, I don't know what would happen" I said shaking my head. She saw the expression on my face and nodded.

"It is very hard, I know. You've been with Jacob forever, you love him right? But Edward, he's perfect, and you two get along so well. It's like you two have been waiting a lifetime to find each other. But Jacob has always been there for you, all you know is Jacob. No matter what you do, what you decide, it's going to be difficult Bella. Someone will get hurt, and you will feel bad either way. It really sucks to be you right now. Thank God I'm not in that situation." She said with a sarcastic sigh of relief. Jessica's advice was surprisingly really good, until her last few sentences then the surprise was gone. The Jessica I always knew found her way back into the conversation by saying the last two sentences. I couldn't blame her though, my situation did suck. It was horrible, both ways I would lose, and both ways someone was going to get hurt, me included. I was not ready to make the decision. I had to be more certain of both situations before I could chance anything. I had to know what I was getting myself into, I couldn't blindly decide.

"Thanks Jess," I said and she gave me a faint smile.

"Good luck Bella, you'll need it," she said and grinned. The bell rang then and it was time for lunch. I walked to the cafeteria and sat at my usual table with Ben and Angela.

As I sat down, I saw Edward walking towards me. Every time I saw him it was like a fresh wave of amazement washed over me and I was left breathless, gasping for air. He was so beautiful it hurt to look at him. He smirked at me as he saw my expression, my cheeks began to flush and I looked away from his face. I noticed his sister was walking with him, she too as beautiful as he. They were both on their way over to my table. I looked at Angela and she was looking in amazement as well, and I could see Ben's mouth slightly open from looking at Edward's sister, Renesmee. Angela controlled her face then looked at Ben and elbowed him in the arm.

"Ow," he said rubbing the spot she jabbed him in. Angela rolled her eyes, and I looked back to Edward.

He finally reached us, "Hey Bella," he smiled at me, and then nodded to the others as a greeting as well, still smiling, "do you mind if my sister and I join you three for lunch?" He asked in an exceptionally polite way, we all nodded in accordance.

"Sure, join us," Angela gulped out, almost stuttering.

"Thank you," Edward said and he grabbed a seat next to me while Renesmee sat on his other side. There was really no need for introductions; we all knew for the most part who each other was. At least, everyone knew who Edward and Renesmee were.

"It's nice to finally meet you Bella; Edward has told me so much about you." Renesmee said in a beautifully serene pitched voice. Edward glared at her and she smiled, I blushed again and Edward looked at me with an apologetic expression.

"It's nice to meet you too Renesmee." I said.

"Please excuse my sister for her annoyance," Edward added in his sensual tone. "She tends to say a lot." Renesmee rolled her eyes and he grinned.

"So I hear you have a class with Jacob?" I asked Renesmee, and she nodded.

"Yes, we have Spanish together. He is so funny, he always makes me laugh." Edward looked annoyed at our conversation but he still sat with us nonetheless, listening intently. Renesmee and I kept going on about Jacob and how wonderful he was. She told me that she and Jacob had recently been assigned a project in Spanish and that they have to work on it a lot. Subsequently they are going to be very busy lately, because the assignment is 50% of their class grade. I was surprised Jacob hadn't told me.

"So are you two going to work on it after school anytime soon?" I asked.

"Yes, we are actually supposed to work on it today. We started it yesterday." She said, and I was confused. So Jacob was hanging out with other girls, exceptionally beautiful girls over the weekend, like I had with Edward. He didn't tell me either, he didn't even inform me of this huge project.

I decided that if Jacob could keep secrets, then sure as hell I was able to keep secrets too. That bit of information was able to move me into the direction of Edward. I was going to try, and I was going to keep it hidden.

We continued to talk throughout lunch. None of us ate, minus Angela and Ben. I wasn't hungry, I had too much on my mind, but I didn't know the answer as to why Edward and Renesmee didn't eat either. Angela and Ben didn't talk too much in our conversation; they mostly kept to themselves and listened. They were usually like that anyways, regardless if I was with them or not.

The bell suddenly rang, and the crowd of people around us began to swarm to their next destinations.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," I said to Angela and Ben. "Will you two be sitting with us from now on?" I asked Edward and Renesmee.

"Yes if that is alright," Edward responded. I smiled and nodded.

"It was nice talking to you Bella," Renesmee said, I agreed and she smiled while walking off to her next class. Angela and Ben had already left and it was just me and Edward.

"Shall we?" He asked with his crooked smile while gesturing to the hallway. I blushed and began to walk where he was leading. We headed toward Biology, following the crowd of students scrambling to reach their classes.

We entered the room while Mr. Banner began to write on the board. We sat down in our usual seats when he began to speak.

"Science Fair." He said with joy. "Does anyone know what that is?" No one raised their hand, and no one spoke. Mr. Banner looked around the class and his eyes laid upon Mike Newton who looked as if we were falling asleep.

"Ahh, Mr. Newton." He abruptly said while smiling, Mike's head shot up and he looked like he was lost. "Please, do tell me what you think the Science Fair is." Mr. Banner said with a smirk. I looked at Mike, his eye was circled with blue now, and I couldn't help but grin. Edward looked at him and joined, adding a soft chuckle. Mike began to stumble for words.

"Uh... It's when…um…you…build something…about science?" He answered, ending his statement as a question. Mr. Banner rolled his eyes and laughed, expecting that sort of answer from him.

"Class, the Science Fair is a competition between students who have created a report or demonstration on something related to science. Does anyone know what the significance of this is?" He asked hopeful.

"We are going to be in the Science Fair?" Mike asked.

"Yes! You are all going to partake in the Science Fair. You each will have a partner, the person sitting next to you. Look at them." I looked at Edward and he smiled. "They will be your new best friend for the next month. This project is going to take a lot of time and effort. It will be worth almost half of your entire grade in this class. Hard work, dedication, and commitment to each other as a partner will be the key factors in succeeding. You each will come up with an experiment related to science; you will write a report and conduct a demonstration. If you have any questions, ask me, here are your rubrics and project guidelines," he said as he passed out sheets of paper to the class. "Good luck."

I let out a sigh. _Great, a project, a huge project. _At least Edward was my partner, which made me smile. And now I had an excuse to hang out with him. I didn't have to tell Jacob, he wasn't telling me his life, so why should I tell him mine -Although I couldn't really blame him. I rarely see him anymore since the pain started and this whole zombie phase happened.

"You ready for this, partner?" Edward asked, emphasizing 'partner' and grinning.

"You bet." I said grinning back. I was excited; this was what I was looking for, this was what I needed.

I didn't dare think to mention to Jacob about his meeting with Renesmee; if he was going to keep his secret, then so was I. This project was going to keep me happy; it was going to help me decide on who I would pick. I knew I had to do something, and this miracle project was definitely going to help. My world was slowly coming back clearer, and I could faintly see what I was going to do. A light was shining in the horizon, a dim one at that, but it was definitely shining, therefore it gave me hope. I knew I could do this, and the Science Fair was proof.

I could do this.

I can do this.

I _will_ do this.

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What did you think? Remember to review, and thank you. I really appreciate you taking time out of your day to read my story.


	9. Let the Good Times Roll

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns these characters.**

**A/N: **Thank you for reading My Dark Angel.

Please please please review! :) :) :)

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 9

_Let the Good Times Roll_

"Hey Bells…uhh…I can't hang out today. I have a lot of homework to catch up on, and then I have to go to Quil's later for some kind of male bonding," Jacob said hesitantly then scoffing out the last part while scratching the back of his head and looking down to his feet.

I could always tell when Jacob was lying. He would scratch his head a lot, stare at the ground, and then laugh at himself once he finished. He was a terrible liar, but still nothing compared to me.

I knew he was going to meet up with Renesmee to work on their Spanish project. I just didn't understand why he had to lie to me about it. They were only working on the project…weren't they? I couldn't believe Jacob to do anything more than that. He wasn't like that, he was a good person, and he loved me.

I wanted to ask him why he wasn't able to tell me the truth, but I knew I couldn't. If I did, I would have to tell him about Edward and I. And that was a risk I was not willing to take. Edward was my only source of happiness lately. With the burden of remembering my dark angel and the pain that came along with it, Jacob couldn't even help me, but Edward could. He was the only one who could. Jacob would have to be able to understand that, but for some reason I believed that he wouldn't. Maybe it was just because he was a guy, but I had to believe, I had to hope, that deep down inside he would.

"Yeah, that's okay Jake. I have lots of work too. I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun," I tried to play off my smile, I was too anxious to get home.

Edward was coming over to work on the science fair project. He invited me over to his house, but I knew that there was a large possibility that Jacob would be there. So with that knowledge, I decided to work at my house. Charlie would be out on patrol so he wouldn't be there; he wouldn't have the chance to talk to Jake about anything related to Edward. Renee would be off participating in one of those random classes she liked trying. I didn't know if this week was yoga or a knitting group. It didn't matter either way; she tried everything and was always gone. The only thing or one that I had to worry about was Renesmee.

Though if there was something going on between her and Jacob, I'm sure she wouldn't interfere with Edward and I. Even though there was nothing even going on between the two of us, but according to Jess, and according to how Edward behaves around me, I was beginning to think otherwise.

I had to think about that for a minute. Did I want Edward to like me? Did I want to be with Edward in any way other than just friends? I knew I wanted to be around him. He was like a planet and I was his moon, gravitating towards him, and feeding off of his wonderful energy. He had the most magnificent aura, full of brightness and happiness and everything good. I couldn't spend a day without him because of the pain. That was why I was so sad when he wasn't at school on Friday. He was the one person who could break me from my depression, from my solitude. He was the one person who could make me forget all the pain I was in. He made me forget about my dark angel, something Jacob couldn't even do.

Yes, I still loved Jacob. He was my first love; he made me happy, but was it time to move on? Was it time to explore my heart and let others in? I've only known Jacob. I've only known his love, his compassion, and his romance. Was I ready to settle for him, him alone, never trying anyone else? I couldn't possibly be for certain if I've only been in one relationship all my life. How could I possibly know what it was like to truly be in love? I thought I was in love with Jacob, but whenever I see Edward, or whenever I think about my dark angel, I know that there is something stronger. I know that Jacob's love couldn't even compete with the others that I have felt and continue to feel.

My dreams do not have the ability to make up such intense feelings; therefore I have to believe that such strong emotions do exist. I must believe that they are out there, waiting for me to find them, longing for me to have them.

Settling for the familiar would be beyond ludicrous. I know that I cannot stay with Jacob, he isn't the one. He is one of my loves, but he is not _the_ love. I know I have to let him go, but the thought of breaking his heart would be too unbearable. It would almost kill me to have to hurt him; doing so was the last thing I would ever want to partake in. I loved him, and if anything were to cause him pain, including myself, I wouldn't know how to deal. I couldn't live with that guilt. He doesn't deserve the pain, he has done nothing wrong. He is an exceptional boyfriend who has always been there for me. That is why it is so difficult to decide. A part of me wishes he wasn't such a good guy, so then this decision would be a lot easier, but the truth was, he's great – but it's not good enough.

Jacob needs to find someone; he needs his own dark angel. I would not want him to settle for the love he has, and never know of the love he could have.

He needs to move on from me, he needs to let me go. I only hope that if and when he does find his true love, she will not vanish in the night like mine had. He would be devastated, and to see him going about like I have been doing for the past weeks would be absolutely dreadful.

I now understand what Jake has been feeling like lately. For him to have to see me every day looking as if I were about to kill myself was probably not a good factor into his sanity. I'm sure he was on the verge of freaking out, which as a matter of fact he already had. When Jacob exploded at me and told me how he was truly feeling, it made me feel horrible for the way I had been acting. It made me realize that I needed to find my dark angel, and I needed to find him fast. It also made me realize that Jacob needs someone else, someone who can love him the way he deserves.

He needs someone who can be there for him, who can help him when he needs it the most, not someone who constantly needs help from a broken heart. He especially does not need someone who needs help from a broken heart that was caused by someone other than her significant other. Jacob deserves better, he deserves his dark angel. He deserves the girl I had seen from my very first dream of the mysterious boy.

I wish to see Jake's face longing for her again. I wish to see him in love the way I was in love. I want to see him happy; I want to see him with someone who _is_ happy. Jacob deserves the best; he deserves every ounce of perfection. He was always there for me, ever since we were kids; the only way I could ever repay him would be by letting him have what he deserved. The only way I could repay him would be by letting him have the chance at finding his own soul mate. The last thing I would ever want would to be married to Jacob 10 years later and have him regret every bit of it. I wouldn't want to see him hate his life; it would hurt me too much. He needs to be happy and I need him to be happy.

Jacob gave me a faint smile then kissed my cheek.

"Bye Bells," he whispered after the soft kiss. He turned to his Rabbit and jolted out of the high school parking lot.

I could feel that something was going on with Jacob. He was so distant around me lately, but I knew the most probable reason was because of me. He didn't know how to handle me right now. The zombie me was one of his biggest fears, I could see the pain in his eyes as he'd watch me walk around like the living dead day after day. I really hurt him by doing that, and his pain only added on to the load I was already feeling.

After I watched Jake leave, I jumped into my truck and quickly exited Forks High. I was anxious to see Edward again. The pain had already found its place back into my heart after leaving Biology. Edward could only fight it off for so long, once his presence was gone, so was the happiness, leaving nothing but room for the pain to rush back in. I was silently drowning in my own misery, day in, day out I would wake up to the depression. It didn't help that I would fall asleep and dream of it either. There was no escape, no solitude, except when I was with Edward. He was my paradise, he was my escape. Without him, I would be nothing but a living body that looked and acted like it was otherwise.

Every day I was questioned by my odd behavior, every day I was ignored for it as well. I couldn't explain to anyone why I acted in such a manner. I didn't care to explain it to them either. I guess when you are so far gone from everything; you begin to care less and less about the world around you. Everything becomes distant, and everything becomes its own world. You don't exist with everyone anymore; you are alone in another dimension, another universe.

No one had the ability or the knowledge, to be able to cross into my unknown, because no one knew how to help. Edward was that one alien, that one exception that could go anywhere. He could fly back in forth between my world and the worlds of others. He was even able to bring me back to life, to bring me back to everyone else's world. But only he could do that, only Edward.

I reached my house and not to my surprise saw that I was the only one home. Charlie was at work, and Renee was out and about, strolling around town attempting to find some other kind of club or group to join. I parked the truck and grabbed my backpack, walking inside the front door to the kitchen and dropping my stuff onto the counter. There was a note next to the phone. I grabbed it and quickly read what I only assumed to be from Renee.

_Hey Sweetie,_

_Today I am with a bunch of girls from that book club I recently joined. You know where, so if you need me call me. I still have yet to read the book though! You know your dad is at work, so you'll be alone for a while. I'll be back later._

_xoxo Mom_

Oh, so she was at book club today, I knew she would be at some kind of gathering. Renee was like a giant child. She socialized all the time, and tried to hang out with as many young people as she could. She was only in her mid-late 30's anyways, so she was practically one of the gang.

As I finished the note, the phone began to ring. I quickly grabbed the receiver and hoped that it was Edward.

"Hello?"

"Hello Bella," Edward's smooth voice rang through my ears and I was lost in its gentle sound. I could sense his crooked smile on the other end as he said his warm greeting, which made my heart flutter and my mouth grin uncontrollably. I was completely happy that it was him on the phone; anyone else would have been a huge disappointment.

"Hey, are you still coming over today?" I inquired, hoping to God that he was.

"Yes, I will be over in a few minutes if that is okay with you...?" He asked, already knowing that the answer was definitely. I didn't want to sound too desperate to have him over, but Edward was surely aware of his charm and his ability to dazzle me. He could get anything he wanted from me, and I was only all too willing.

"Yeah, that will be fine," I said trying to sound nonchalant. I could hear a soft chuckle in the phone, Edward of course laughing.

"Alright, I'll see you soon then…Bella." My heart fluttered when he said my name, it sounded so beautiful coming from his lips.

"See you Edward," I was blushing and was extremely thankful that I hadn't had this conversation face to face. I could see him smirking the entire time, it was typical of him, but I didn't complain. His smile was absolutely beautiful and heart wrenching just to witness it. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

As I realized Edward was going to be over any minute, I ran upstairs and made sure I was presentable. I brushed my teeth, fixed my hair, and then ran back down stairs right as I heard the doorbell ring. My heart was racing as I opened the door and I tried to hide the smile that was creeping onto my face, ready to explode at any second.

"Hey Bella," Edward said while flashing his beautiful white teeth.

"Hey Edward, come on in," I greeted, stepping back and allowing him entry into my house.

"Did you have any troubles finding my place?"

"No, I'm pretty good with directions, and it definitely helps that we are talking about Forks. Who could get lost here?" He said grinning; I laughed and nodded my head. Forks was a small town, if there was a village idiot, even he could find his way without trouble.

I led him toward the kitchen where my backpack was and then opened the fridge.

"Would you like something to drink?" I politely asked as he sat down at the table. It was always nice to ask a guest for some type of beverage, at least that was what Renee and Charlie had taught me, hospitality.

"Oh no thanks I'm fine, I'm not really thirsty." He responded, I raised an eyebrow and then he smiled, "I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I am," he added. I grinned and grabbed a coke from the fridge for myself.

I opened up my backpack and laid out everything I had pertaining to science onto the table.

"So, do we have any ideas for the Science Fair project? Giant erupting volcanoes, robotic arms that smash cans, potato light bulbs?" I asked, Edward smirked at me then began to speak.

"I was thinking that maybe we could do something on human behavior, like the different behavioral patterns of human beings and knowing what makes a person 'tick.' Maybe we could even do an experiment on the predictability of humans."

I didn't care what Edward was saying, once he began speaking I was lost in his green eyes and his sensual voice. He could go on and on about the most unappealing subjects and yet I would still be drawn to him, listening and watching as he moved his beautiful lips. He was so good at attracting listeners, anyone would listen to Edward speak no matter how long the time was. He could get anyone to agree with him to, no one could deny him.

Edward was waiting on my response, but I was still entranced by him that I didn't even attempt to say anything. I barely managed a nod. He began to grin.

"What are you staring at?" He asked smirking. I finally realized what I was doing and shook out of my trance.

"Oh, sorry, what were you saying?" I asked while my cheeks began to flush red, Edward only smiled, which made me blush even more.

"Human behavior...?" Edward hinted.

"Oh right, yeah that sounds really good actually," I replied, feeling like a dumbass. I internally slapped my head for being such an idiot. Edward only saw humor in my stupidity though, which made me even more embarrassed.

"Do you do that often?" He asked humorously.

"Do what?" I was confused.

"Gaze off like that," he smiled then added, "at me." If I wasn't blushing already, I was definitely doing it now. I didn't think it was possible for someone to blush this much in such little time, but for me, anything like this could happen.

"Oh, was I look- ugh, sorry-" Edward began laughing.

"It's okay Bella, you don't need to apologize. I didn't mind," he gave me his beautiful crooked smile and my heart dropped to the ground. I smiled back, hiding my face in my hair from the embarrassment. He was so charming, how was he able to do that to me?

"We should get started on our research," I said quickly, catching a glimpse of Edward before turning to my books. He was still smirking, but nodded his head.

We sat at the table silently for a little while trying to collect any scrap of data that we could find on the human mind. Every couple of minutes I would look up at Edward and find that he was looking at me just then as well. I would blush and he would smirk then we'd both quickly shoot our gaze back to our papers. That would happen every once in a while and right at the moment we got caught staring, we'd smile at each other then look somewhere else as fast as we could.

Edward gave me that warm feeling every time I looked at him. He was comforting, but still mysterious all the same. I was beginning to fall for him. I knew it was bad, I was still in love with my dark angel and I was still trying to salvage the relationship that I had with Jacob. But I couldn't help but fall for Edward, he was amazing. He made me happy. He was different and new, yet I felt like I had known him from somewhere before. It was like déjà vu every time I was around Edward, but it was good déjà vu. It was a good feeling, familiar and loving.

Edward suddenly looked at the clock then looked at me.

"I have to go," he said softly, his face disagreeing with the words he was saying. I was sad, I loved his company, but I knew he had to leave at some point.

"Okay," I said in a low tone. Edward must have sensed my sadness and he smiled.

"Don't worry, you'll see me again soon," he chuckled to himself and I rolled my eyes. He was never against witty comments like that, no matter how bold they were.

"Don't flatter yourself too much," I scoffed, but I was blushing and smiling. He was right, I hated to have to see him leave, he made me happy, and he knew it. Edward knew everything.

He was still softly chuckling as he began to gather his belongings and pack them up. He did it so gracefully and beautifully. The simplest or even the most complicated gesture, Edward was able to perform with perfect ease. I envied his grace and elegance; it was absolutely magnificent to watch. He was so perfect, and he never did anything wrong.

He zipped up his backpack then raised his face to look at me.

"Can we continue this tomorrow, after school, my house?" he asked. I wasn't sure about the idea. Yes, I wanted to continue with him what we had done today, I wanted to be around him every day, but at his house? I couldn't risk it. What if Jacob were to be there? Then I couldn't secretly hang out with Edward like I was doing. I would have no more excuses to.

Edward was waiting for my answer, but I honestly did not know what to say to him. Yes? No? I can't because of Jacob? None of it seemed to satisfy what my response should be. Edward gave me an understanding look, as if he knew what I was thinking.

"I can come over here again tomorrow if you'd rather do that," he offered. Relieved with his proposal, I nodded my head and gave him a comforted smile. He acknowledged it and smiled back.

"Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," he said, staring at me but I could sense a little anguish in his tone. Was he sad to leave? Could he really be sad about that?

"Okay, I'll see you." I said, sort of in a melancholic tone as well. Edward gave me a faint smile while I began walking in front of him, leading him to the front door.

While walking, my foot caught the rug and I tripped. I was leaning back, about to land on by back. But before I fell, Edward swooped in and caught me, holding me up with his strong hands. He looked deeply into my eyes and for a moment I felt safe. It was a strange feeling; it overwhelmed me when he touched me. I had never been this close to him before, he was a breath of fresh air, and he smelled like the most heavenly scent I had ever inhaled. The electrical current ran between us again as well. It was such an intense sensation and I couldn't get over it. He was beautiful, and he saved me from what could have been another bruise on my arm from landing on the wooden floor.

"Thanks," I said, looking away and blushing.

"You need to be more careful, you are such a hazard," he said softly with a laugh, still staring at me. I was completely embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed," he added, "I'm used to you being uncoordinated."

I began to blush even more and tried to hide my face in my hair like usual.

"Don't do that." He said; I looked at him confused.

"Do what?"

"Hide your face like that," he said. My face became rosier than ever and he smiled at it. He helped me stabilize then let go of me.

"I have to go now," he said laughing, "No more trying to trick me into staying longer. Don't break your leg next so I have to carry you to the hospital."

I rolled my eyes, "right, don't jinx it." We both laughed together.

He looked at me again with longing for just a moment like that night we said goodbye at the bookstore. His eyes were amazing and his stare overwhelming, it was like fire and ice, both consuming one another. He smiled at me and I returned the gesture.

"Bye Bella," he said softly and sweetly.

"Bye Edward"

"See you tomorrow," he said then he gracefully walked to his car and left.

I shut the front door and leaned against it breathing heavily. Edward was incredible; he certainly knew how to get what he wanted and how to make someone go absolutely crazy for him.

I wondered why though that he always stared at me in that way. It seemed innocent yet very intimate whenever he did it. It felt so meaningful and close, but I wondered why Edward would do it. He knew about me and Jacob. If Jacob would have seen, Edward would have been beaten to the bone, yet he still stare at me like that. His eyes felt like they were piercing into my soul, trying to read my heart and find answers. Either way, whatever the reason, he must really like making me blush.

I felt special when he gazed into my eyes like that. It was like we were the only two people in the world, just me and him. I smiled at the thought.

I left the front door and walked back into the kitchen. I put all my science work away and began to make dinner for me, Charlie, and Renee. By the time I finished, Charlie had arrived home, and Renee shortly after.

"Smells good Bells, are you making my favorite?" Charlie asked pleasantly.

"Yes I am, Sue Clearwater's famous fish fry recipe," I said proudly. I decided to make something great to end a great day. Charlie began smiling like a little child on Christmas morning.

"Thanks honey," he said sweetly, "I am starving." He grabbed himself a plate and began to dig in.

"Did somebody say fish fry?" Renee smiled walking into the kitchen. She loved when I made fish fry, it meant that Charlie would be happy and no nagging or teasing for the rest of the night. She was happy, he was happy, and I was happy.

"Yeah, it's ready, grab a plate and eat," I said while dishing up some food.

Dinner went by quickly. Charlie ate his food in top speed then sat down by the T.V. to catch up on some games he missed earlier in the day. Renee finished soon after then helped me with the dishes. When I finished, I went upstairs to work on my homework from other classes.

It took me a little while, but I finally completed all my work. It was late in the night, and I was extremely tired. I hadn't thought much about the dark angel today. I had been distracted by Edward most of the time that I didn't have a chance to think of the pain that lived inside me. He helped me so much every day, making me smile, making me forget all of my troubles. He was my new happiness, and I wanted to be around him constantly.

I took a shower and got ready for bed. I was ready to sleep, but I was not ready to enter the dark world of sadness. I was not ready to return to the foreboding meadow that I used to love and escape to. It reminded me of the boy, and it always haunted my mind, there was no stopping it, and there was no peace.

My dreams hadn't changed one bit. Every night I would still find myself in the dark meadow, the dead meadow. It would be cold and sinister, and the place even scared me a little. The happiness had drained from the once beautiful scenery and I was surrounded by darkness. The only sign of the once happy place was in the very middle of all things dead. It was the tiny ray of light that struggled to stay lit.

I would gravitate towards that spot, grasping for any kind of warm feeling I once felt in the meadow. The love and beauty was gone, but in that small crevice of space, I felt it. I could feel the electricity I had once felt with my lover. His presence still lingered in that spot. I knew he was still alive, somewhere in this strange world. He just wasn't in the meadow anymore, all the loveliness and delight leaving with him.

No words could explain the feelings I had felt for him, they were too real and too strong to ever forget. He would be forever ingrained in my mind and in my memory. He would forever stay in my thoughts. Only will his return ever lead me to true happiness again. Only the discovery of my dark angel could lift this weight of grief and distress. He was my true love, and only with his presence could I fully go on. Only with his presence could the pain fully subside. I would have given up anything in the world to see him again, but all I could do was lie in the dim light and pray. I could pray for his return or I could pray to forget his memory. The only hard part was that inside, I knew none of them would come true. He was gone, and that was how it was meant to be.

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I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

If you have any questions regarding My Dark Angel, I will be glad to answer them.

I am still looking for a beta reader if anyone is interested. So keep in mind that my story is still rough and not perfect, I am not an editor, so do not expect my writing to be flawless.

Please review!

Thank you.


	10. Awakening

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does. **

**A/N: Well, I figured out the certain scene I needed help on. It was an emotional chapter for me to write. And I hope you all enjoy it.**

**Remember to review it please. I would REALLY appreciate it. Every review makes me smile for hours, no joke. **

**So please, make me happy, and write a review. Thank you.**

**Oh and so a lot of inspiration for this chapter came from the band Trespassers William. They are SO good, and their songs fit perfectly with this story in general and what Bella goes through. If I were you and you don't know this group, then I would definitely check them out ;)**

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 10

_Awakening_

_I love you more than I should  
So much more than is good for me  
More than is good_

_Oh the timing is cruel  
Oh I need and don't want to need  
More than I should_

_I am falling, say my name  
And I'll lie in the sound  
What is love, but whatever  
My heart needs around_

_Oh my sheet is so thin  
So I say I can't sleep because  
It's so very cold_

_Oh but I know what I need  
And if you were just near to me  
Would you go..._

_I am falling, say my name  
And I'll lie in the sound  
What is love, but whatever  
My heart needs around_

_And it needs you too much now _

_– Lie In the Sound by Trespassers William_

School went by quickly today. All I could think of was Edward and how he was coming over again later. The simple thought kept me from hurting and kept me from thinking painful memories; it was my antidote, my drug. I was on an Edward high and nothing was going to make me fall down. Nothing was going to make me jump out of this Edward rollercoaster. I was oblivious to the world around me; I was only thinking of Edward and the happiness he brought me, and how badly I needed that happiness to keep me alive inside.

Biology had been fun today, Edward and I talked the entire time, though it was nothing pertaining to our science project. He just wanted to get to know me, and I wanted the exact same. Who could possibly object to that?

School had ended and I was in my car driving home. Jacob had more "work" to do; I didn't question him for I knew what he was up to. He said goodbye to me, gave me a kiss, and then walked off to another day full of lies and secrets that remained untold but still known.

I've felt so distant from Jacob lately, like he wasn't even trying anymore. It was like he had been fighting for so long and now he finally gave up. He quit making the effort, he failed, and it was as if he was okay with that fact. Did Jacob not love me anymore? Was he done trying? Was he done getting hurt from my behavior?

I felt terrible, I didn't want him to give up, and I didn't want him to be sad. I hoped to God he was moving on in a healthy way, if he even was moving on to begin with. Maybe he was just giving me space, time to heal and time to find myself. Jacob was notable for leaving when he didn't know what to do or how to deal with certain issues. He was one to stay away from the problems that he didn't understand. He didn't want to worsen the situation, especially if it was preventable, though by doing so, sometimes it worsens it anyways. In this instance, his aloofness made and still makes me feel unwanted and unloved. He was hurting me and he didn't even know it, it was the opposite effect of what he thought he was doing, and it was opposite of his intentions.

He didn't know though, he had no idea what he was doing, and that was the worst part. What could I say? That he was hurting me by leaving me alone? If I did, he would stay with me, but still not know what to do. It would put Jacob in a very awkward position, and cause me to feel the same as well. And to be quite honest, his presence didn't help with the pain. I would be with him crying, and he'd be there consoling me, hurting too. It would be like hitting two birds with one stone, he'd be miserable having to watch me drown in my own tears and I'd be miserable regardless. I couldn't do that to him, not only for his sake, but for mine as well. I wouldn't be happy, and I'd never be with Jacob, at least not like I used to.

I needed Edward. He makes me forget. He makes me feel alive again. He turns the pain into happiness; he turns the fear of remembering into the bravery of letting go. Though I will never forget my dark angel, and I will never allow myself to let him go. He was too important to me, too much of a major part of my life, even if it was for a short time.

I still do not understand why the strange boy's absence hurts me so. We didn't even speak to each other, and I never even had the chance to see his face. But the feelings I had for him were so deep and so passionate that I couldn't deny him. I couldn't let him go, ever. I had never felt something so strong. His presence was electrifying. I could feel his strange pull in the meadow, and for the first time in my life I felt like I had found something otherworldly, I felt like I had found myself. It was a revelation every time I went to the beautiful place we had shared and found him there. He made me happy beyond anything I had ever felt before, and we didn't even have to say a word to each other. The feeling and the emotions were unspoken, so strong that they didn't even need a word to justify them. The silence only made it better, we were able to focus on other things, like the beating of our hearts, and the beautiful sound of our breathing, each breath the same pace as the others.

All I needed was to be in his presence, all I needed was to be with him. He was my true love, though for some strange reason the feelings I have for Edward feel almost similar, as if they can grow to be as strong as the feelings with the strange and mysterious boy. And if that is possible, than I could never stand to be away from Edward, I could never stand to risk it. He was my new hope, my new beginning. He could allow me to remember my dark angel, but be happy when I do. I could pretend that he _was_ him, in a way. He _is_ able to make me happy and send the pain and memories away. Maybe he could replace my dark angel and I won't hurt again. He is different, he could be that fix.

With anyone else, I would think of the boy and feel pain and loss, but with Edward, I would think of the love I had had with him and smile. He truly had a gift beyond comprehension, he was amazing, and I wanted him. I wanted to be with him.

I pulled into my driveway, noticing that yet again Charlie and Renee were not home. Renee mentioned this morning that she had some errands to run later in the day, but she'd be home as soon as she could. I still hadn't mentioned to either of them about Edward. It really wasn't a big deal to tell them I was working on a project with him, but I wasn't going to force the knowledge upon them. Jacob would certainly find out if they knew which would undoubtedly end up in some kind of argument. Then I would have to defend my side by revealing what I knew about him and Renesmee and their secret gatherings. I hoped Jacob wasn't doing anything unfaithful, I would be utterly disappointed in him. He wasn't a cheater, though there is always a first for everything. However, a part of me hoped that Jacob was doing something, something more than just friends with Renesmee, or at least developing feelings for her. If he was, then there would be nothing wrong with me falling for Edward. It would be okay on some kind of level, even understandable. Then Jacob could not argue or object, but only hope for my understanding as well. It was a messed up thought, sinister and twisted, but I thought it, and a part of me wished for it.

I walked inside with my belongings and pulled my science book out and everything else that I needed to work on the project.

Edward was supposed to come over later, around 5:00. I had an hour and a half to kill. I decided to read my favorite book 'Wuthering Heights.' I had already read it a thousand times, but one more surely wouldn't hurt.

It seemed like only minutes had passed while I was reading. I got caught up in the story and before I knew it, it was 5:00 and I heard a car pull in the driveway. It was Edward.

The doorbell rang and I walked to the front door to answer. As I opened the door, I was welcomed to Edwards cheeky little grin.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked raising an eyebrow while thinking that his mischievous childlike expression was actually quite amusing and rather cute.

"I have an idea." He said still grinning.

"Oh? And what would that be?" I said nonchalant.

"I want to take you somewhere…to work on the project." He said, his grin becoming even wider than before.

"Where to?" I asked.

"La Push!" He blurted out and then raced to his car like a child playing tag. "Hurry, we have to be quick!"

I didn't understand what the urgency was all about, but I didn't argue with Edward either. I shut the front door and ran after him to his lovely Volvo. He was already seated in the car waiting for me with the engine on, his face completely blissful.

"What's with the hurry?" I asked as I shut the door and quickly buckled up.

"You'll see." He said as he began to zoom out of my driveway, reversing the car like a professional driver, and speeding down the roads.

"Stop driving so fast!" I said, Edward just laughed and kept going at the pace he was already at. For someone who drove so fast, it was odd that the was actually good at driving, excellent even. I was comfortable in the car with him, though his speed was slightly frightening and alarming.

"Why are you so giddy?" I asked him. I could see the corner of his lip lift up and I knew he was giving me that beautiful crooked grin that I loved so much.

"It's a surprise," he said beautifully then turned his face to stare intently at me, "trust me."

"I do." I was entranced by his voice and his face, they were both beyond beautiful. He smiled a comforting smile at my reply.

It had been a short ride, fifteen minutes had passed by when Edward told me we were almost there. I had been to La Push many times since I was a kid. Charlie and Renee used to take me to swim in the ocean and play in the sand or even go fishing. Also, since dating Jacob, La Push was like my second home. I basically knew everyone that lived there. If it weren't for my pale skin color and my bone structure, people would have thought I was a Quileute native as well. I used to visit every weekend, but lately my life had changed. The rift between me and Jacob had also become a rift between me and my other friends. I missed them, and hopefully I would see them all soon. And then I remember, _I'm at La Push_. I hope no one that I know sees me. That can't see me here with Edward.

Inside I was panicking. I couldn't let anyone notice me and I hoped to God no one I knew would be out at the beach today. If they were, they would surely tell Jacob. I can't let that happen.

We pulled into a parking lot along the beach; Edward raced out of the car and opened my door. Though he was extremely excited and giddy, he was still a gentleman.

As I hesitantly got out of the Volvo, he went to the back of his car and grabbed a blanket from the trunk.

"Okay, so we are here at La Push, now what?" I asked in a bored yet anxious tone, I was excited to see what Edward was planning on doing, but I was also scared that someone I knew would be here. Although, I was anxious to know why he was so thrilled to be here, but I didn't want to show him just how anxious I was. "And what's with the blanket?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Come," he said in a low soft whisper with a smirk as he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the beach. He looked so sexy right now, the sun was beginning to set, and the light touching his skin was miraculous.

He led me down through the sand towards the water. The sky was beautiful, and we had a perfect view of the sun. Edward stopped and we stood only a few feet away from the water. He set the blanket on the sand, laying it out on the ground then lying on it.

"Don't tell me we are going to watch the sun set…" I moaned out, though the thought was incredibly romantic, and I was absolutely thrilled that Edward was excited about something so beautiful and lovely. He looked at me and grinned.

"No. We are going to watch the other people at the beach watch the sun set." He smirked while looking around. I looked as well and noticed a lot of couples and families scattered around the beach watching the sky. Edward was studying them, watching how they interacted with one another. I smiled; it really was a good idea, brilliant even. I lied down on the blanket and joined him.

"You see that family right there?" He whispered while discreetly pointing to a small family of four sitting on their own blanket far back on the beach. I nodded and watched them. There was a young man and woman, presumably the parents, and two young children, a girl and a boy. The boy looked to be about seven and the girl five. They were playing with each other, some child game I wasn't sure of. On the other hand, the parents were lying on the blanket staring at the sky, the father holding his wife in his arms. The picture of them was beautiful, the husband and wife staring at each other lovingly while the kids played together peacefully. Edward began to laugh and then looked at me.

"I predict the boy is going to do something to make the girl cry." He said grinning. I completely disagreed. The family looked so happy, and the two kids looked like they were perfectly getting along. There was no way that the boy would do something mean to his sister. I couldn't see it.

"No he is not, look at them! They look completely happy!" I said in dismay. Edward began to laugh again.

"Bella, you have no idea! Just watch!" he said, he was completely intrigued with this family. It was like he knew for a fact that what he said was going to happen. I was smitten by his childlike behavior, I had never seen him so thrilled or excited about something.

"Watch!" he said looking at me really quickly before flashing back to the family. I laughed then looked at them too. The two kids were still playing together and the parents oblivious to them, staring at the sun as it began to rest. I was shaking my head and smirking, nothing was happening, and like I told Edward, nothing would happen. They were completely happy, why would the boy randomly do something mean to his little sister?

As I kept shaking my head, I saw it. The little boy looked at his sister, and for a second I thought I saw a little mischievous grin on his face. He almost looked conniving and evil, then as I was shocked to see his expression the little boy flicked sand at his sister and said something that I could not hear. Apparently his little comment was mean because right after he said it and flicked the sand the little girl began to cry.

The parents were startled by the sudden noise and looked to their children, breaking out of their blissful states. They scrambled to comfort her and chastise the naughty boy, but they were young parents and they still had yet to learn. Because of that one act, the kids were unhappy, and the parents were unhappy, missing out on the beautiful sunset that awaited them.

I looked at Edward in amazement. To my surprise he wasn't looking at the family anymore. He was lying on his back and staring at the sun, watching it fall right before our eyes. He was smiling, but not in a gloating kind of way, there was no cockiness to his expression, just complete delight. I lied down next to him and joined him staring at the sparkling sun. The site was magnificent, perfectly beautiful and astonishing in every possible way.

"How did you do that?" I whispered, still hypnotized by the sun's falling beauty.

"Do what?" Edward chuckled back.

"How did you know that that little boy was going to do that? They were completely happy, and it was definitely unexpected." I said still in surprise.

"It was predictable. And I do have a little sister," He said smiling, "besides….I'm good at reading people."

"Oh really?" I scoffed, then smiling I asked, "Can you read me?"

Edward's face became a little scrunched as if he was thinking really hard about something. "You…not so much." He admitted.

"Why is that….is there something wrong with me?" I asked self-consciously. Why did I have to be so unreadable? Why did I have to be unlike everyone else? I did have to admit, it was nice that Edward couldn't read me so well. I was a terrible liar as it was, and if he could see every truth and feeling that I had, every thought or intention, it would be very bad. Yes, it was good that I was unreadable; it meant I could keep my secrets, keep my mystery.

"No, there is nothing wrong with you." Edward began to laugh.

"Good," I said with relief.

"Though, I wish I could. It's so difficult sometimes; I wish I knew what you were thinking." I began to blush and Edward smiled.

"This is so beautiful," I said, smiling at the sky, the sun was almost fully down and the moon was becoming more prominent with a few stars beginning to show.

"It definitely is," he said, but I knew he wasn't looking at the sky. I could feel his gaze on me without even turning my head. I blushed even more and through my peripheral I saw a little crooked smile stretching across his face.

We lied there under the stars for what seemed like ages, staring at the beautiful night sky, watching the stars sparkle. I hadn't felt so alive in a while, and the feeling was amazing. I was filled with joy and splendor, smiling nonstop at the beautiful feeling as it engulfed my body.

Just then, Edward stood up and reached for my hand.

"Come walk with me Bella," he said in his beautiful low voice. I couldn't say no to him. I grabbed his hand and stood up. We began to walk along the beach, looking at the waves and watching as families left and couples stayed, embracing the beautiful beach life.

We kept walking for a while, not really needing to say a word to each other. The silence wasn't awkward at all, I felt completely comfortable in Edward's company, regardless if we spoke or not. We kept walking until I realized where we were. That's when I saw them. _The cliffs._

It had been a year since I'd been to the cliffs. I hadn't returned since the day I jumped and the day Harry died. I would have never dreamed of coming back. It was a place filled with terrible memories and nightmares. Some of my darkest thoughts were of this place, remembering how it had damaged me physically and mentally. I couldn't escape it, and I would never forget.

And now I was here, walking towards the place I would have never returned to. It felt unsettling to be here, and I didn't want to keep walking forward. It was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to turn back, to run away from this place and never return. But Edward didn't know this, he didn't know why.

I froze where I was standing, and Edward looked at me in confusion, then he took notice of my face and was filled with concern. I must have looked frightened and startled, and Edward had no idea what was going on.

"Are you okay Bella? Is something wrong?" he asked, his eyes filled with worry. I was tired of lying to him, I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to tell him the truth.

"No…I'm not okay Edward…it's this place." I told him, I was embarrassed to admit it, but I was preparing myself for what was next.

"What happened here Bella?" He asked in a deeply concerned tone. I didn't begin talking right away, I just scrunched my face up and thought. Having to tell him would be so difficult, it would hurt because I would have to remember everything. Remembering was the last thing I wanted to do.

He took my stalling as a bad sign, "I'm sorry, it's none of my business, you don't need to tell me anything Bella." He added quickly, then I looked at him and saw that he truly cared and that I was okay. I trusted him, and I was ready to tell him.

"No, it's okay. It's just…a long and complicated story," I admitted. It really was, and it was a very touchy subject. I wasn't going to tell him about my dark angel, but I was going to tell him one of my darkest memories, the day at the cliffs.

"I've got time," he smiled comfortingly to me, "I'm sure I can keep up." I tried to smile back at him, but I didn't quite succeed. Edward sat down in the sand and pulled me down with him, holding my hand as I began to tell him my story.

"It was about a year ago when I came here with Jacob, everything was perfect, everything was beautiful and amazing. We were playing up above the cliffs where others had done so many times before. We were going to cliff dive, I had never done it before, but Jake loved it. Of course, he went first. He jumped into the dark blue freezing water down below. I watched him as he gracefully flew through the air and landed perfectly into the dark abyss. He popped up from the water and looked at me with satisfaction, waving for me to jump. I inhaled a deep breath and took a step forward. I was nervous, very nervous, but I wanted to jump nonetheless. I had never done anything so exhilarating in my life; I had never done anything so dangerous or reckless either. As I took a step off the cliff, I slipped and I realized I didn't jump far enough. All I remember was looking below me and watching as the rocks below came closer and closer. And then I remember looking at Jacob's face as I was falling, his face was the worst kind of anguish. It was pure torture to see how he looked, demented and distorted in pain as he watched me fall to what I thought would have been a sure death. The only knowledge and comprehension that came to my mind as I fell was that I was going to hit the rocks and that I was going to die. While falling to my grave my instincts kicked in and I covered my head with my arms, bracing myself for the confrontation between the rocks. I remember feeling a sharp pain and then nothing. I was gone…" I had to catch my breath for a little, remembering that horrible day and the pain it caused me to tell my story. Edward was looking at me with sadness in his eyes, but he didn't speak.

"I woke up days later, scared where I was and completely lost. I had no idea what happened. I lied in that hospital bed and woke up to Jacob's pained face, and Charlie and Renee's tears. They had been crying for a while, and it was hurting them so much to see me lying there as if I was dead. When they told me what happened, and when they told me that Harry Clearwater, my dad's best friend died that same day from a heart attack, I lost it. I did remember that Sam was there at the cliffs, another Quileute friend, he ran to Jacob and yelled that Harry had a heart attack and to rush me to the hospital. I faintly remembered that part, but I was quickly falling back into unconsciousness. I began to cry uncontrollably when I woke up, shaking in my bed and yelling in anger. I thought to myself, 'Why Harry? Why did I have to be so stupid and reckless and do such a thing? Why did I have to cause Charlie so much pain?' He lost his best friend that day, and my accident didn't do anything to help. He was going through so much already, and I only made it worse. And Jacob, when I saw his face, my heart broke to a million pieces. He blamed himself for everything. All the pain that I went through, all the pain that Charlie and Renee went through, he blamed everything on himself. I told him repeatedly that it wasn't his fault, and that I forgave him after he kept begging me to forgive him, but he didn't accept it. He couldn't let it go, he couldn't forget." Tears were swelling in my eyes, and I was beginning to lose it just by telling the story. Edward began to hold me in his arms, trying to comfort me in any attempt.

"The doctors said it was a miracle that I survived. They said I was lucky, and that God was on my side that day. If I hadn't covered my head with my arms, my head would have smashed like a pumpkin on those rocks. I would have been gone for sure, and there was no kind of medicine or surgery that could have saved me. I would have died. I should have died." I said angrily.

"Don't say that Bella," Edward said holding me tighter. "Don't ever say that." I silently wept into Edward's chest as he held me. Breathing heavily and trying to compose myself. Edward just rocked me in his arms and didn't say a word.

"After I woke up, every night I began to have the worst nightmares of my life. I would dream of every possible horror imaginable, Harry jumping off the cliff to his death, Jacob jumping, Renee, Charlie. It didn't matter who, every dream I would be in the same place, swimming in the water and watching them plummet to their horrid death. I couldn't do anything to save them; I was swimming against the current trying to save my own life in the process. Every dream ended the same too; I finally lost the battle with the ocean and gave in to my engrossing death, only minutes after watching the others fall to their same fate." I paused for a moment then stared out at the sea. Wincing as I remembered the pain of the nightmares.

"I would scream at night; for the next few months, Charlie and Renee would take turns coming into my room to calm me down. Nothing ever worked though; I would still dream the terrible nightmares and see them as if they were actually happening. They were so vivid and realistic; I would scream bloody murder when I woke from them. Charlie and Renee were desperate to stop them; it had come between our personal lives as well. Jacob knew about them, he knew of the terrors that would haunt me, and he would try and stay with me some of the nights to help me sleep. Charlie and Renee had allowed it; they trusted Jake and they wanted to be able to sleep for once. They would do anything to rid me of the horrors. Jacob helped in a way, but even he couldn't keep the nightmares from returning." Edward began to brush my hair from my eyes, still cradling me, and still holding me in his arms. I kept looking out at the sea, staring blankly like a zombie.

"I would wake up panting and screaming, and he would be there cradling me in his arms and trying to calm me down, telling me everything would be okay. I tried to believe him, but it was so hard to. Nothing could stop the dreams and every now and then they would come back. There was no stopping them, I never felt safe from my own mind." I felt so vulnerable telling Edward this, so weak and defenseless, but Edward didn't try to leave me or feel awkward. He understood, he cared, and he kept holding onto me with such strength and feeling it was like he was telling me he would never let me go.

"I'm so sorry Bella." He whispered into my ear, and I knew he meant it. He didn't think I was weird, he didn't think I was a loser, he understood, and that was all I could ask for.

"You don't think I'm weird do you?" I asked.

"You? Of course not." He smiled at me and placed his chin on top of my head, "never."

I smiled back at him and inhaled his sweet intoxicating aroma. I was happy he was here with me, and I was happy that he finally knew my past. I felt like he knew everything now, and it was a comforting feeling.

"Everything will be okay," he whispered in my ear. And for once, I believed it. Maybe it was because it was coming from Edward, but nevertheless, I really felt like everything would be okay.

We sat there staring at the ocean for a while, holding tight to each other and embracing each other's company. Most everybody had left the beach by this time, it was late, and it was cold. No one was around the cliffs and it was just me and Edward, sitting together and enjoying each other's presence. I was thankful that I had Edward in my life; he meant so much to me now.

_I think I'm in love_, I thought to myself, but the thought made me kind of nervous. I didn't want to ruin our friendship, and I wasn't ready to do anything about Jacob. I was afraid of what would happen. I wasn't ready to change my life drastically just yet. But I do know that I love Edward, and I do think that I am in love with him. I've never felt this way before, minus my dark angel. To be truthful, the feeling was almost the same. The dark angel's power was instantly strong the moment I saw him though, but Edward's, it kept growing and growing every time that I was near him. If it kept going at this rate, it would be stronger then my dark angels in a matter of days. I didn't want to slow the process one bit, but I was scared. It only meant that I had to make the decision to hurt Jake sooner rather than later.

Edward and I eventually got up and began to walk back to his car. He held my hand the entire time, making sure I was still comforted after the very emotional conversation we had just had. He gathered his blanket and stuffed it back into the trunk of his Volvo then opened the door for me.

Today really had been amazing, watching the sun set with Edward, staring at the sky, telling him my past, and letting him in. It was very trying, but I did it. As he drove me home, I kept thinking about the night. We even worked on the project, in a way. We accomplished many things, and the night only brought us closer to each other.

We didn't really speak in the car, we didn't need to. I would catch him smiling at me, and he the same, and we just sat there driving down roads with contentment. Yes, it was hard to tell him what I had, but I was also relieved, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder. I was thankful for him. I loved him.

We reached my house and I looked at Edward, "Thank you for today, it was great." I said to him with compassion. He nodded at me and smiled.

"Anytime Bella, I will always be here for you," he said soothingly. He gently placed his hand on my cheek in a comforting way. It felt so smooth and exhilarating. I didn't want him to move it.

"Goodnight Bella," he said softly, though I could tell he didn't want me to leave.

"Goodnight Edward, see you tomorrow." I said, comforting the fact that I would see him tomorrow. I didn't want to leave either, if I could, I would stay with him forever, never leaving his side.

I walked out of his car and entered my house as Edward sped off into the distance. I said goodnight to Charlie and Renee and went straight to my room. I was tired, and I was still in shock that today even happened. I still couldn't believe that I was hanging out with Edward Cullen. He was gorgeous, beautiful, sweet, passionate, and everything I could have ever hoped for in a guy. I could feel that he alone was single handedly healing me from the pain I felt with the loss of my dark angel. I was happier than before, and I was healing. I was forgetting.

I went into the bathroom and took a much needed hot shower. I washed away all my fears and regrets and guilt. The thoughts that what I was doing with Edward was wrong had washed down the drain. The fear of losing him left too. The guilt that I felt when I thought of Jacob and the pain of losing the dark boy was slowly flowing down the drain. I felt better, I felt more sane. I was becoming normal again, I was feeling normal again, and it was all because of Edward. He was absolutely amazing, and I would never change my feelings for him.

Whenever I am with him, the weight and the burden of everything else just slips away. He's there in my life, and just the thought makes me completely calm and at ease. I am in peace when I think of him, I am in heaven when I am near him, and I am in love no matter where I am or where he is.

It was strange how I got him when my dark angel left. It was like destiny, like it was meant to be. Sometimes we don't ask for what we need, but yet we still get it. It was amazing how I had reached this point in my life, and how fragile I was when I got there. Sometimes we let go of what we need, and sometimes in the face of our fears, the things we least expect have a way of coming back to us. We never know what happiness or sadness tomorrow might bring, but we cannot dwell on the past or the regrets of our yesterdays. We have to move on, we have to keep going. Even if there are obstacles in the way, even if it's too hard to breathe or to live, we cannot give up. We owe it to ourselves to keep trying; we owe it to ourselves to give life another chance.

I finished my shower and quickly readied myself for bed. I lied on my bed staring at the ceiling and thinking.

I love Edward, I love him more than I should, so much more than is good for me, but I can't stop. The timing is cruel, but I have fallen for him. My heart needs him around; it needs him too much. There's nobody like him, and I am so afraid to push him from my mind, it's like the fear of forgetting what light is like when you close your eyes. I need him_. I need him_; he brings happiness and light into my sad and dark world. He wakes me up from the nightmares with hope of a better tomorrow. I don't want to hurt Jake, but there's nobody like him, and Jake doesn't stand a chance in comparison. It is going to hurt me so much to have to hurt Jacob, but I know I have to eventually. I'm too scared to do it anytime soon, and I don't even know if Edward truly likes or even loves me. We aren't together, and I don't want to leave Jacob for something that is not even certain. I can't go through rejection; there will be nothing left of me if I have to hurt even more.

My body felt like Swiss cheese right now, so many holes, so many things that have damaged me. I am not strong enough for another hole to be carved into me, and I could never handle a hole from Edward. In my heart, I didn't believe that Edward would ever hurt me, but in my mind I knew there was always the possibility.

I began to close my eyes, letting my mind wander, and entering the dark meadow again for another night of pain. Only this time, I wouldn't cry just for my dark angel, but this time I would cry for the decision I had to make, and the heartbreak I knew I would cause in doing so. My life was a mess, and I had to pray that it would get better. I had to hope, because if I had no hope, then I had nothing to look forward to, no purpose. Edward was my hope, and I was going to live off that for as long as I had to, as long as I could. Today was an awakening, and I realized that I had a lot to think about and a lot to do.

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I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Remember to review it! You know how much it means to me!

I will be working on chapter 11 soon, and probably have it out within this week.

I had a lot of time today to write, I was on winter break, and it was a much needed break.

Now I get to go back to school tomorrow, and the hussle and bussle of everyday life will be back. Great.

I've been scheming up ideas for a new story btw. I don't think I will start it until I finish this story, but I can't wait to. It's going to be very interesting, and I hope you guys will enjoy it when I finally begin to write it. But that wont be for a while, since this story will be going on for a while as well.

Thank you to those who HAVE reviewed this story, it means the world to me, and I really hope I get to read some more soon! Thank you and I hope you all have a wonderful day or night!

Oh and I'm not quite sure if I should keep this story as M or change it to T. I'm pretty sure there are not going to be any lemons, but I don't know about the rating. Should I change it? What should it be? I need input, thanks! :)


	11. Secrets From Another

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: Here it is, chapter 11. I hope you enjoy. **

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 11

_Secrets From Another_

"Hey Bella," Angela said from behind me in first period, she was trying to get my attention.

"Hey Ang, what's up?" I said as I turned around.

"I was wondering… do you want to hang out with me and Jess Friday after school? You know, have a girl's night out or something?" She looked very optimistic, and I hadn't hung out with a girl in a while. I had been so gone lately that I hadn't hung out with anyone, besides Edward. I could tell Jacob was more involved in the conversation when she mentioned getting together. Was this something he wanted?

"Yeah, that would be cool. What did you have in mind?" I replied. Jacob was definitely listening now. Maybe he was jealous; I was hanging out with Angela but not him. Maybe that hurt him. I felt bad, but it wasn't like he had been trying that much lately anyways. The effort went both ways.

"I was thinking we could go to a movie or something then out to eat. It doesn't really matter." She said happily. I looked at Jake really quickly and he jerked his eyes away as fast as I had turned to him. "Or we could just stay at my house and do girl things. Since Jessica is coming we'll most likely do whatever she wants to do."

"Uh…yeah that sounds great actually." I said, sort of confused as to why Jacob was acting like such a child. He could be so immature at times.

"Okay, great! We'll talk more details later in the week." Angela said optimistically.

"Yeah, sounds great." I said smiling then turning around back to where Jacob was, sitting with his arms folded. What a baby.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked him, he looked at me then scoffed.

"What's the matter with me?" His face changed to an expression of annoyance. "So Angela gets to hang out with you, but I don't?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about Bella," Jacob whispered to me, leaning closer so we didn't put any attention on ourselves during class.

"You've been acting like the living dead for the past few weeks and haven't done anything with me since. And now, when someone asks you to hang out, you are more than willing." He scoffed again. So Jacob _was_ jealous.

"Jake, it's not like you asked to do anything. I haven't seen you trying lately at all. You are always so busy with whatever you've been doing." I said angrily. Yeah, _what_ he was doing or_ who _he was doing. Though I didn't believe that last part, Jacob was not a cheater, and I couldn't ever see him as one. But sometimes the people you thought you knew the best, are always the ones that surprise you in the end, whether that may be a good surprise or not, they always do. I didn't doubt my trust in Jake, but I didn't doubt the possibilities either.

"Bella, I've been trying. I don't know what to do when you're like this. I try to be there for you, but I don't know what to do! I am clueless. I thought maybe space was good for you, but apparently not. You seem to want the exact opposite." He seemed so confused and frustrated and I felt bad for him. It was true; I hadn't made things easy for him lately.

He was a lot like a lost puppy, roaming around and having no idea where he was going. He was clueless. He had no thoughts on where to begin or how to operate, and being as stubborn as he is, he didn't dare ask for help either. His pride got in the way; it got in the way of helping me.

"I'm sorry Jake." I said while grabbing his hand. He looked at me and he knew I was being sincere.

"I miss you Bells. I miss the happy you."

"I know Jake, I know. I miss her too." I said, looking down to my feet disappointed in myself. I did miss being happy, but truly I was becoming happy again. At least, I was forgetting the sadness in my life. Even though Jacob had nothing to do with it, in any case, I was still getting back on track. I was becoming less and less messed up, or so I thought in my own twisted and screwed up mind.

Edward was filling the hole that had been carved into my heart. He was filling it with love and joy and every possible good imaginable. He was saving me, in any way that a person could be saved. I owed him my heart, I owed him my love.

"Why can't you just get over what is going on?" He asked stubbornly.

"Jake, it's not that simple."

"Sure it is! You're just not trying Bella. You have to try!"

"I have, and I am. It's just difficult Jacob, you need to understand that." His face fell.

"Well why don't you want to spend time with me anymore?"

"Jake you know I want to. You are looking at this the wrong way."

"Maybe, but it still doesn't change anything." He said, folding his arms.

"I'm sorry about that, but I am getting better Jake. I really am." He looked at me and sullenly nodded.

"Can we spend some time together soon?" Jacob asked, but it looked more like pleading. I couldn't say no to him, I felt so bad.

"Of course Jake, whenever you want." His face gave a faint tiny smile and I knew he was beginning to feel a little better.

"I'll call you and we can talk about it okay?"

"Sounds good, I can't wait for that call," I said, knowing it would make him smile even more. It worked. His eyes lit up this time, and I was glad that he was happy again.

The bell rang and we made our way to our next class. Jessica was waiting for me, excited as usual. I sat down next to her and awaited her jabber.

"Hey Bella, did Angela ask you about this Friday?"

"Yeah she did, I said yes. It should be fun."

"I know! It will be a total girl's night. Gossiping, makeovers, movies, junk food," she sighed happily then added, "I love being a girl." I smiled and nodded.

"It does have its perks."

"Tell me about it," she said giggling, Jessica knew all too well the advantages of being a girl. She knew how to talk her way into anything, or out of anything, she knew everyone and all the latest gossip. Jessica was the epitome of a girl.

Math went by quickly; it seemed all I did was talk to Jess about the weekend and what we were planning on doing. Though I didn't pay much attention and wasn't particularly intrigued by the subject, I nodded when needed, I said yes or no when questioned, and I kept a smile on my face the entire time. She went through every detail, perfectly planned out. She even made a schedule, it was pretty ridiculous, but I didn't mind. I needed a night out with girls; I needed to be normal again.

Before I knew it, I was in the cafeteria talking to Edward, Angela, Ben, and Renesmee.

"Do you have any more spur of the moment plans for today?" I asked Edward sarcastically. He looked at me and smiled.

"Not quite. I was thinking today we could go to my house today," he quietly said, smirking at me and acting completely innocent. _Crap. His house._ Well it couldn't be too bad; I'll just make sure Renesmee isn't there with Jacob. It shouldn't be too hard to do.

"Yeah, maybe, we'll talk more about it in Biology." I said to him then looked at his sister, "Hey Renesmee, are you working on that Spanish project with Jacob today?"

She nodded to me then began speaking, "we are going to his house to work on it right after school."

_Yes_. I smiled politely to her, but inside I was gloating. _Thank God._

I could hear Edward snicker next to me in my hour of triumph. He had guessed at my apathy towards going to his house, he knew too well of the relationship I had with Jacob and how it was lately.

"Happy now?" he said quietly, too low for anyone to hear. I looked at him and grinned.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I am." He rolled his eyes then laughed.

"Good, be at my house right after school." He said. My heart was fluttering because as he spoke he gave me that beautiful crooked smile that I loved so much. I blushed, and he smiled even more. He knew I loved it, just like I knew how much he loved my blushing, which I hated. It was so embarrassing, vulnerable even, my blushing was my weakness, and it always gave me away.

"Hey Bella, we'll talk more tomorrow about Friday." Angela said right as the bell rang.

"Yeah, sounds good," I said loudly, trying to speak over the bell. Everyone was rushing to class, Renesmee had already left, and Ben and Angela raced together to their next destination. It was just me and Edward left now.

I let out a sigh, "stupid girl nights." I mumbled quietly, I had doubted that Edward heard me though.

I wasn't much for dressing up, putting make up on, or gossiping. I was more of a tomboy. I liked fun and dangerous things, and usually my best friends were guys, like Jacob for instance. Even though he's been more than my best friend since I could remember. But Friday was different; this was a rare occasion that I thought was necessary, even acceptable to bring out my inner girl.

"You ready?" He asked as I gathered my things.

"Yeah, let's go." He put a hand on my back and guided me through the crowds of people exiting the cafeteria, probably so I wouldn't get trampled by anyone. I smiled the entire time; I loved his touch, so inviting and intense. Little pricks of electricity were shooting off of me and him as he kept his hand on me. I knew he could feel it too because as we were walking I would catch glimpses of his face and he'd be grinning.

We entered Biology just in time, taking our designated seats and waiting for Mr. Banner to begin his spill on whatever the subject was today.

We weren't able to talk much during class, Mr. Banner popped in a movie and everyone had to watch and listen for full credit. That didn't stop us from communicating however, Edward moved his hand onto mine and I could feel a tiny piece of paper between our touch. I looked at him and he was grinning, looking straight at the T.V. and avoiding my stare.

I smirked and opened up the tiny piece of paper.

_You excited for Friday?_

I smiled; I guess he knew I wasn't into those sorts of things. Girl's night outs. He must have heard me mumbling after all. I made a mental note to keep my mumbling to myself next time.

_Oh yes, makeovers, painting nails, getting attacked by pillows, being mauled by a hairbrush, you know, the usual. I can't wait!_

I wrote to him sarcastically, hoping that he'd get my humor. I watched him open it and read it. Yup, he got the humor; he began laughing, but had to cover his mouth to not make any noise.

He wrote a response and then quickly slid the paper over to me, waiting for me to read it.

_I'm sure you'll have a great time. Especially since Jessica will be there._

Apparently I wasn't the only one with a sense of humor. I looked at him and gave him the death stare; unfortunately he wasn't looking my direction so it had no effect. He was however, staring straight ahead and biting his bottom lip, trying to keep from bursting out laughing I only assumed.

_You are SO funny. _I sent back.

_What on Earth could you mean?_ He replied coyly.

_Smartass._

Edward couldn't keep it in any longer, after that last remark he was laughing nonstop. Everyone in class began to look at him and Mr. Banner stopped the movie.

"Edward?" Mr. Banner called out. Edward began to cough to cover up his laughing.

"Yes sir?" He responded.

"Do you have something to share with the class?" Edward sat up straight and began to clear his throat.

"Uh, no sir."

"Then would you mind keeping your mouth shut and avoid disturbing the class? Some of us are trying to pay attention." Mr. Banner said annoyed.

"Yes sir."

I was smirking the entire time. Mr. Banner played the movie again and Edward looked at me, passing me the note.

_Thanks._

_Sorry,_ I replied, but I was still smirking. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

_You are so lucky I can't stay mad at you._

_Oh really? Am I now?_

_Yes._

_And why is that?_

I passed the note back nervously and he looked at it. I was anticipating his response, not having a single idea as to what he would write back.

Edward was about to finish writing when the bell suddenly rang. _Thanks, is this some kind of karma? I appreciate it,_ I said sarcastically in my mind. Now I will never know what it said.

Edward scrunched up the paper into his hand and packed his belongings, grinning the entire time. He walked me to gym like he did every day and then quickly said goodbye, purposefully being hasty and nonchalant the entire time.

"See you later Swan, don't be late." He called out as he sped off to his last class of the day. I rolled my eyes and walked into gym, though I was smiling the entire time.

I didn't pay much attention in gym today. My mind was elsewhere, thinking about Edward and what he could possibly have written down. I was sure to ask him later when I would go to his house. I would not forget.

Gym ended almost as fast as the rest of my day, before I knew it I was saying goodbye to Jake in the parking lot and heading over to Edward's house. He gave me directions before we left Biology, and they didn't look too complicated.

I turned off onto his driveway, which seemed like it was hidden in a thick forest of trees in the middle of nowhere. His driveway was long too, extremely long; it felt as if it was going on forever. I finally reached his house a couple minutes later.

It was beautiful and surprising. The house was timeless, graceful, and probably a hundred years old. It was painted a soft, faded white, three stories tall, rectangular and well proportioned. The windows and doors were either part of the original structure or a perfect restoration.

It was amazing and it fit Edward perfectly. The location was slightly mysterious, and the essence of it was breathtaking, just like him. I couldn't have imagined a house that could suit him better.

I parked my truck and opened the driver's door. I saw Edward's Volvo already parked a couple yards ahead of me. I walked to the front door of the house, but before I could knock, the door opened.

"Hello, you must be Bella." I was welcomed by a beautiful young woman; she looked to be in her early thirties. She was absolutely breathtaking, just like Edward and Renesmee. Her inviting familiar green eyes sparkled at me with welcome and comfort.

"I'm Esme; it's so nice to finally meet you Bella." She spoke so softly and elegantly to me.

She stood to the side of the door and gestured for me to come in.

"Thank you," I said as I stepped inside. The inside was even more surprising, less predictable than the exterior. It was very bright, very open and very large. This must have originally been several rooms, but the walls had been removed from most of the floor to create a wide open space. The back, south-facing wall had been entirely replaced with glass, and beyond the shade of the cedars, the lawn stretched bare to a wide river. A massive curving staircase dominated the west side of the room. The walls, high-beamed ceiling, the wooden floors, and the thick carpets were all varying shades of white.

"Your house is beautiful," I commented in awe as I looked at everything, taking it all in.

"Thank you Bella," Esme said warmly with a smile.

"Did you restore this house? It looks as if it was built a while ago, yet it looks like it's up to date and modernized."

"Yes, I love to renovate, design, and decorate. One of my favorite hobbies I enjoy in my spare time."

"It's beautiful, you did an amazing job." I was still looking around like a child walking into Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I probably looked like I was about to go into shock. Esme kept smiling.

"You are too kind Bella, just like Edward said." _Edward what?_ Edward's been talking about me to his mother? And he's been saying good things like 'I am too kind?' My heart was skipping beats and if I hadn't known any better, I was sure that blood was rushing to my cheeks at an alarming rate.

"Mom, stop trying to embarrass Bella." His lovely voice chimed from across the room. I looked behind me where I heard it and saw him, Edward. There he was, walking towards me and smirking. He was so beautiful, and at that moment I felt my heart stop beating. Only he was able to do that to me. Only Edward.

"Oh Edward, I wasn't embarrassing her." Esme said in a joking manner. My cheeks flushed again and Edward flashed his crooked smile.

"Sure you weren't," he took my hand; "you ready to work on our project?" It took me a moment to respond. I was still processing what they had said, and still processing the beautiful house.

"Uh, yes." I looked back to Esme and smiled at her, "thank you for having me over to work on the project with Edward."

"Anytime Bella, you are welcome here anytime." She smiled back and Edward led me to their dining room. It was grand and beautiful, perfectly clean and spotless as if it had never been used before. There were books lying on the table, spread all over the place, waiting for us to use them.

Edward pulled out a chair for me and then sat in his own. We began to work, collecting data, analyzing figures, writing our own research. Minutes had gone by as we determinedly worked. Then Edward abruptly closed a book he was on and then looked at me.

"You want to take a break?" He asked. I was all too willing. We did so much work that we were probably ahead of schedule.

"I would love to," I said sighing and closing my own book. Edward laughed and shook his head right before gesturing me to follow him.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To my room." He simply replied. My heart sped up and my palms were feeling clammy. _His room?_ He smirked at me then kept on walking.

We walked up the giant spiral staircase then kept walking until we reached his room. He opened the door slowly and motioned for me to enter.

His room was similar yet different to the rest of the house. It had its own charm and feel, but still correlated with the theme of the house. It was white, simple, modernized, and creative. He had tons of bookshelves filled with hundreds of books. Along with his vast literature collection, he had an assortment of music that was not far behind the texts. His room had huge windows that overlooked the deep lush forest around the house. It felt so open and vulnerable, but also somehow felt closed and secure. It was hard to describe the feeling of his room, and the feeling of the house. The best words that could come to mind were perfection, magnificent, beautiful, and glorious. I could go on and on with words such as those, but still they didn't even justify the mansion.

I felt at ease at his house, and I felt completely comfortable in his room. It was enchanting and hypnotizing.

"I like your room." I said, still admiring its contents. Edward chuckled.

"I like it too."

We stood there for a few moments, staring at his room, and everything in it. Edward sat down on his lounge couch and waved for me to sit next to him. I did not object, and gladly sat down next to him.

"Bella, tell me a secret." He said softly, looking at me with wonder and depth.

"Like what?" I asked. I didn't know what to say. It was such a broad term.

"Tell me something I don't already know."

"Hmmm… I can't stand the smell of blood. It makes me queasy." Edward laughed.

"Is that the best you've got?" He asked still laughing.

"Fine, you tell me a secret about yourself then, see how difficult it is." I said with a snarky tone.

"I play the piano."

"Woooowww…that was even worse than mine," Edward smiled and held up a hand.

"I wasn't finished." He said sweetly, "I play the piano…and I wrote you a song."

He. Wrote. Me. A. Song? Wow. He wrote me a song. My heart was racing faster than ever. Edward Cullen plays the piano, and he wrote me a song.

"Did you really?" I asked, beginning to blush again. He looked at me and gave me a cheeky smile.

"Would you like to hear it?" he said in a deep lovely tone. It sounded like purring and I couldn't help but smile in ecstasy as he spoke to me. It was irresistible and I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. If I was dreaming, I had no intentions of waking up.

Edward looked deeply into my eyes then stood up. He reached out a hand, waiting for me to grab it.

I was still in amazement. He wrote me a song. On the piano. Edward Cullen. Wow.

My mind couldn't comprehend it. How did I deserve this? How was I even here? I am so damn lucky.

I grabbed his hand and was pulled into a trance. The Cullen charm. His touch sent bolts through my body and my spine shivered at the feeling. I was on fire, my body was in Utopia, and my mind was spinning.

He looked at me and flashed his crooked smile, right before turning and leading me downstairs where I was sure his beautiful piano awaited.

* * *

**A/N: So what did you think? Liked it? Hated it? Do you have a favorite part or perhaps a favorite line? I would love to know. Tell me! **

**This week has been so hectic. And this coming week is not going to be any better. I have so much work that I have to do. And to top it off, I have to leave for a couple days for a state competition. So I probably wont be able to update anytime soon, maybe next weekend If I am lucky. **

**I've never taken so much time before between updates and I hope no one is angry. **

**I would very much appreciate some reviews.**

**Thank you!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	12. Bella's Lullaby

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: Here it is! Chapter 12! I wrote it all today since I promised an update this weekend. I hope you enjoy!**

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 12

_Bella's Lullaby_

"Edward," I said softly as he pulled me into the living room. He looked at me with assurance and smiled. We were heading towards the piano on the end of the luminous open room. It was a grand piano, beautiful and exquisite. It seemed to have been possibly a hundred years old, like a piano from the early 1900's. It was wonderfully hand crafted and detailed, every inch of it specifically designed and flawlessly created. It sprawled across the room like a beautiful swan, claiming attention without even demanding it.

"It's so beautiful," I commented on the gloriously built and well-kept piano.

"Thank you." Edward said, still dazzling me every second. He gestured me towards the piano bench for me to sit then sat there as well.

"This song has been playing in my head for a while and I want you to hear it."

"What is it called?" I asked, then Edward gave me a cheeky grin while opened his mouth.

"Bella's Lullaby," he said softly and deeply, and then he turned to the piano and began to play.

I couldn't comprehend what was happening. All of a sudden a soothing melody escaped the piano where his fingers traveled so effortlessly. They flowed like the wind across the keys, never hesitating, never making any mistakes. It was perfect, he was perfect. I didn't know it was possible to play so well, so beautifully.

The song in itself was amazing, brilliant, and breathtaking. I fell in love with it, it was perfect for me. The soft sounds, easily flowing into the next melody, all with some kind of resemblance or pattern from the rhythm before it surrounded the room with beauty. There were so many different sounds, but they all correlated to one another in a wonderfully constructed main theme. I was awestruck, staring at Edward and staring at the piano, listening to the harmonious sounds that came from both.

Edward could do anything, he could do everything. He was everything, and now I was surely falling completely in love with him. He wrote me the most beautiful composition I had ever heard in my entire life. Nothing could ever compare to the melodic sounds he was creating. It was nearly impossible how well he could play.

His fingers were slowing down and it sounded like he was coming to an end. The last few chords played, and then he finished it with a beautiful finale. When his fingers came to a stop and the music faded from the room, I woke up from my trance and looked at him. He was staring at me, waiting for a response. I tried to say something, but I couldn't speak, words would not form in my mouth. He smiled then, presumably at my loss in train of thought. I blushed, and then somehow forced myself to speak.

"I can't believe that." I said, disbelief filled my body and I was staring at the piano and Edward simultaneously, still trying to comprehend what had just happened. "How can you play like that? It was amazing, incredible-," I kept going on and Edward just sat there smiling and letting out quiet chuckles.

"I can't believe you wrote me that, how? Why?" I asked, wondering to myself, _why DID he write me that?_

"I've had a lot of inspiration lately." He simply said and my cheeks became more flushed. _Was I his inspiration_? I wasn't necessarily satisfied with the answer, but I didn't budge for more. I inspired him, and he wrote a song for me. The thought of it was absolutely romantic.

"Did it take you a while to create that?"

"Not really, I had most of it in my head; I just kept playing around with it until it was finished."

"I could never play like that. That was better than anything I had ever heard before."

"It's taken me a while to get to where I am; lots of practice helps."

"I can only imagine how much." I said and Edward chuckled again.

"I see you've played the song for Bella." A voice chimed in. It was Esme and she was walking towards us from the kitchen. _She knew about the song?_

"He's been playing it for weeks now, he won't stop. Not that he needs to; it is beautiful. My second favorite, though the first is a song he wrote me a few years back. Oh, how I love it." She said as if she were listening to it now. A smile grew on her face at the thought of it.

"He is an amazing pianist." I commented, she looked at me and nodded in agreement.

"Brilliant." She said, characterizing Edward's astounding musical abilities.

"The only thing I can play on the piano is a poor rendition of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.'"

"We all have our talents; though anyone would look incapable compared to Edward on the piano." Esme said with a giggle.

"Mom," Edward said, as if he was embarrassed, but Edward could never get embarrassed or self-conscious for that matter, he is too perfect.

Right as Esme was about to respond, another voice entered the room.

"Ah, we have a guest." A beautiful deep voice rang through the room. I turned to see who it was. It was a tall young looking man with pale blond hair and striking golden eyes. He had a finely detailed body with a gorgeous face to go along with it. He looked just like the rest of the family, perfect. He could only be one person, Carlisle Cullen, the father of Edward Cullen.

Edward stood from the piano bench as he spoke, and I did the same.

"Dad, I'd like you to meet Bella Swan." Edward said in a soothing voice. Carlisle gazed at Edward then back at me with a warm welcoming smile.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Bella. Welcome to our home." He said humbly.

"Thank you, it is nice to meet you as well." I said, trying to match the politeness that Edward's entire family seemed to behold. They were perfect in every single way, and it was getting almost unbelievable at how perfect they actually were.

For one, they were indescribably gorgeous. I've never seen a family more beautiful in my life. Two, they were all brilliant, all having some sort of accomplishment in their lives. And three, they were all unbelievably nice, welcoming, and humble. How? I did not know. Was it good that they were this perfect? Yes and no. They were everything I could possibly have imagined or dreamt of. But on the bad side, I felt inferior to them. I was not perfect, not even the slightest bit, and by being with them made me feel even worse about my imperfections.

Although, being in their presence left me little time to think about my insecurities. When I was near Edward, all I could think about was his beauty and how happy I was to be near him. He filled me up with so much joy; I couldn't help but not be sad or insecure. I didn't care; I basked in the enjoyment and satisfaction that he brought to me.

Carlisle walked out of the room and Esme followed suit. It was just me and Edward now, alone together by the beautiful grand piano.

Edward sat back down at the piano, gesturing for me to sit as well.

It was silent for a minute, Edward was facing the piano keys and I was watching him. He looked incredibly handsome in the light of the house. I wished for anything that time could stand still and that I could stay here in this moment forever.

Just then Edward turned to look at me.

"What are you thinking?" He asked me, staring at me with deep concentration.

"I'm thinking about how incredible all of this is, your family, your music, everything." Edward smiled, but stared even more intently at me.

It was getting late, the sun was almost set, and I had to get home soon. I was going to make pork chops for Charlie and Renee. It was one of their favorites, and fairly simple to make, but I needed a while for it to cook.

Without even noticing it, I realized that Edward and I were really close to each other. Our lips were only a few inches from each other, somehow slowly closing in without even knowing it. I was unconsciously leaning to him, and he was doing the same, though I wasn't sure if his part was unconsciously doing it as well. Either way, I enjoyed the closeness and proximity between us. It felt amazing, and the current of that electricity was racing through us too. I somehow awoke from my reverie and realized how late is was getting.

"I have to go." I said to Edward, though it was the last thing I wanted. My tone couldn't have proved it any truer. Edward's face fell a little, but quickly composed its expression and gave me a slight smile. We went to grab my things and pack up from where we had worked on the project. I said goodbye to Edward's family and thanked them for their hospitality.

"I'll see you at school." Edward said comfortingly and I nodded as we both began to walk out of his house. He walked me to my truck and opened my door for me. I jumped inside and he closed the door behind me without saying a word. He waved a sweet goodbye and I answered with my own, as I pulled away I could see at the corner of my eye his face creating the crooked smile I know him to do. It was hard leaving him, but I knew I had to do it. I would see him again tomorrow, it wasn't too long away, and the thought of it made me happy.

I drove out of his driveway and headed home where Charlie and Renee would be waiting. I was sure they were hungry; hopefully they waited and didn't call for a pizza or something. That was usually what they did when I didn't cook, pizza or an easy sandwich that they could effortlessly scratch up. It was pretty pathetic their lack of cooking skills, quite sad actually. Someone would have thought they had been taught a few things from their parents, but I guess not.

Gran was a great cook, my mother's mom. She made delicious meals all the time whenever we'd visit her. How those genes or skills didn't pass on to Renee was beyond me, but either way at least I didn't get the short end of the stick. I once read somewhere that certain genes skip a generation. Maybe that happened in this case, it was certainly a plausible explanation for the mishap. Blame it on the genes.

I reached my house not too much later after leaving Edward's. I parked the old truck and walked inside.

"There you are Bells! I'm starving!" Charlie beamed at me as I stepped into the front door. He stood up from his chair and came rushing towards me.

"What are you making for dinner?" He asked excitedly.

"Pork chops." As I said that, Charlie's face turned from an ordinary smile to a smile out of this world.

"Mhmmm, man am I hungry for pork chops." He stated, rubbing his belly.

"Go back and sit down so I can begin cooking." I said while laughing. Renee was sitting on the couch the entire time, laughing at Charlie as well.

"How was school today Bella?" She yelled from the living room.

"Good, same as every day." I yelled back.

"That's good dear." She said, focusing more on the T.V. now and Charlie walking back to his chair.

I still hadn't told either of them about Edward. It felt wrong to tell them and too personal. I couldn't have them knowing if I wanted to keep Edward a secret, if I still wanted to hang out with him. If I did tell, surely the news would somehow reach Jacob, and then my little escapades with Edward would be over. It was something I would not risk. Of course, I couldn't keep it a secret forever though, but as long as it was, I was going to keep it that way.

I prepared the pork chops, and while it was cooking I finished up the rest of the homework I had from other classes in the kitchen.

"Is it almost ready Bells?" I heard Charlie ask from the living room.

"Yeah, about ten minutes." I replied then went back to my work.

I was on the last math problem when I looked and saw the pork chops were almost done cooking. I finished cooking them on the stove top and then I let them cool down a little. I had also made some mashed potatoes and green beans to go along with the chops.

"Five minutes and I'll call you two in here."

"Alrighty!" Charlie said.

I finished my homework and packed it all away into my backpack. I grabbed three plates from the cupboard and placed them on the table with forks and napkins.

"Alright come and eat!" I called to Charlie and Renee. Charlie was, of course, the first one to enter the room. He practically ran, with Renee following shortly after.

"Smells real good Bells." He said, grabbing his plate and dishing the biggest chop onto his plate.

"Thank you Bella, it looks delicious." Renee said as she dished herself up a serving.

"You're welcome." I quickly grabbed my own plate, and we began to eat.

After dinner, I watched T.V. for a little bit with Charlie and Renee. Renee ended up falling asleep and Charlie had to nudge her to wake her up so she could go to bed in their room instead of on the couch. I went upstairs before they did.

"Goodnight guys."

"Goodnight sweetie," Renee said.

"Goodnight Bells," Charlie said as he let out a big yawn. "Come on honey, let's go to bed." He said to Renee as I was walking upstairs.

Before I went to sleep, I jumped into the shower and brushed my teeth. When I finished getting ready, I walked to my bed and lied down.

I closed my eyes and entered the dream world. I walked into the dark cold meadow to my same little patch of light, lying down in the frigid air, crying like every night.

"Bella wake up!" Charlie yelled from downstairs. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at my alarm clock. _7:45….Crap!_

I shot up from my bed and rushed to get ready for school. I had 15 minutes or else I was going to be late. _Fuck!_

Why did I sleep in? Why did I _want_ to sleep in? My dreams were horrible, why would I want to stay in the depressing meadow any longer than I had to? It was crazy! And now I was running late for school. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,_ I kept saying in my head repeatedly.

I raced to put clothes on and to fix myself. My hair needed serious brushing and my breath was terrible. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,_ I kept thinking over and over again while I scrambled in the bathroom to finish up. I settled on whatever I was doing and jolted down the stairs. Grabbing my stuff and skipping breakfast.

"Bye mom, bye dad!" I yelled as I ran out of the house and into my truck.

What a great way to begin the day, in a hurry. I zoomed to the school in what seemed like record time, fastest I had ever gotten there. Thank god Charlie was a cop, or else I would have been in serious trouble from how much I was speeding.

I parked into my normal spot at school and ran out of my car. I saw a few people still strolling to class; power walking was more like it. I entered first period right as the bell rang and plopped into my seat. _Thank God. I made it._

"Where the hell were you?" Jacob whispered into my ear as I was trying to catch my breath and even out my breathing.

"I woke up late." I simply stated, and Jacob scoffed.

"Good job." He said mockingly. I rolled my eyes at him and kept focusing on my breaths.

Today in first period felt pretty normal, almost like old times actually. I was in a good mood and so was Jacob. We acted like our usual selves for once, making jokes, laughing, talking. It felt good, and it made me really happy. I was glad to see the happy Jake again and I'm sure he was glad to see the happy me as well.

I didn't know what was getting into me, why I was so happy and joyful lately. I did have a hunch however, and that hunch was pointing towards Edward.

Class ended and Jacob walked me to math, holding my hand and smiling.

"Bye Bells, I love you." He said, pulling me in for a giant bear hug. I hadn't felt his arms and his body like this in such a long time. It was making me remember how much and why I did love him.

"Bye Jake, I love you too." He gave me a quick soft peck on the lips then ran off to his next class.

I walked into the door and sat next to Jessica like I did every day.

"Hey Bella, did you talk to Angela about details for tomorrow?" She asked right away.

"Oh, no not yet, I'll talk to her at lunch about it." I answered truthfully.

"Well I had the brilliant idea of us three going to the movies to see that new romantic flick 'Two Is A Party, Three Is A Crowd,'" I wasn't sure what that movie was about, but I knew I probably wasn't going to mind it. I didn't know if I was in the mood for a romantic though, and I hoped it wasn't something that I was going to dread.

"Yeah, that sounds cool."

"Great! I can't wait! It has gotten so many wonderful reviews; I haven't heard anyone say anything bad about it. Even the guys like it!"

"I bet, sounds awesome Jess." I tried to sound excited, but honestly I wasn't.

Our teacher called out to us and assigned us work so Jessica and I couldn't talk any longer, not that I minded.

The class almost lasted forever, math problem after math problem and the time went as slowly as it could go. I was dreading every minute of it, hoping that the bell would ring soon enough. Finally, it did.

"See you tomorrow." I called to Jessica as I packed my things and headed for the door.

"Bye Bella, I can't wait!" She exclaimed, packing up her things with great excitement.

I smiled at her then left the room. Friday was going to be agonizing, but again it was going to be a breath of fresh air as well, I hoped.

I walked into the cafeteria where I met Angela, Ben, Renesmee, and Edward.

"Hey," I said as I sat down. Angela, Ben, and Renesmee looked up at me and smiled. Edward looked up and opened his mouth.

"Hey," he replied, grinning like he always did.

I pulled out my lunch and began to eat.

"So Bella, Jessica wants to go see that new movie, 'Two Is A Party, Three Is A Crowd,'" Angela said.

"Yeah, she told me last period. She said it's supposed to be really good."

"Yeah, that's what I heard. I'm not really into all those chick flicks though; they are usually too emotional for my liking."

"Very true," I said in agreement.

"You probably shouldn't see that movie." Edward added to the conversation.

"And why is that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's just; I don't think you'll like it." He said, though it sounded like there was more to his reasoning.

"And why wouldn't I like it?" I asked puzzled.

"I don't know, I just have a feeling you wouldn't." he said, his face looked a little distraught though for some odd reason.

"Well, if we didn't have to go then we wouldn't, but Jessica Stanley can be pretty difficult at times when it comes to not getting what she wants." Angela chimed in, "I wouldn't want to try and argue with her."

Ben nodded his head and so did Renesmee. Then they went off on their own little side conversation during the rest of lunch. I looked at Edward; he still looked sort of agonized, and contemplative, as though he was thinking really hard about something.

"Are you okay?" I asked quietly so only he would have heard. He looked at me and then quickly covered all emotion in his expression.

"Yeah I'm fine, why would you ask?" He wondered, as if my question was completely random and absurd.

"I don't know, you just-"

"I just what?" He asked smirking.

"Never mind." I said, giving up.

He smiled at me and we joined in on the rest of the table's conversation before lunch ended. When the bell rang, Edward and I walked to class together like we did every day. We reached Mr. Banner's class and sat down in our normal seats.

Today, we worked on our science project some more. Edward and I worked most of the class period, adding a few conversations here and there, but we were so close to finishing that we tried to focus on the project more.

Most of the class period had ended and we decided that we had done enough for the time being, and stopped working. We talked about random things and enjoyed each other's company, Edward making me laugh, and me telling him things about myself.

"Are you coming over today?" I asked him. We'd had been working together every day after school for a while now and it was only routine to ask him.

"Actually, I can't." Edward said, looking down at his feet. My heart skipped a beat and my head fell too.

"Oh okay…that's alright. I have a lot of homework to do anyway." I said quietly. Edward looked up and smiled at me.

"I really want to, but I can't. My family and I are going out today." He said warmly.

"That sounds fun. I can't remember the last time I went somewhere with my family." I said jokingly, he chuckled.

"Can we get together Saturday? I know we can't tomorrow since you have a date with the girls," he said sarcastically.

"Ha, I can't wait for that one, and yeah Saturday sounds good."

"Good and it will be fun, don't worry." He said.

"I hope so." I replied. The bell rang and we stayed in our seats. Edward put his hand on mine and stared at me.

"It will be okay Bella. Trust me." He said soothingly, but it felt like he wasn't talking just about tomorrow night, but my wellbeing in general, how I had been these past few weeks. I always felt like Edward knew me so well, even better then I knew myself. It was a comforting feeling, like he was always there to protect me and take care of me. I loved him for that.

"I just have a bad feeling about that movie though," he added.

"Well, maybe I can talk Jess into not going."

Edward nodded and we finally stood up and packed our things quickly so that we wouldn't be late to class. He walked me to gym and then said a brief goodbye so he wouldn't be late to his own class.

Before I turned to class, I heard my name being called.

"Wait Bella!" Edward said, he was running back to me with something in his hand.

"Yes?" I asked, happy that he came back to me.

"I have something for you," he handed me a CD titled 'Bella's Lullaby,' then added, "It has your song and others of my favorite compositions. Maybe it can help you sleep at night, fight away the nightmares." He said smiling.

"This is perfect." I said looking brightly at him, "Thank you so much."

I gave him a hug without even thinking about it. It was the first time we had ever really hugged, and the electricity was astounding. I had never felt anything so strong and powerful. His arms felt strong against my body, perfectly molding around my shape as if he was meant to be there. I didn't want to let go, but I knew I had to.

I pulled away and looked at Edward's face. He was coyly smiling.

"Maybe I should get you gifts more often." He said teasingly, I blushed and he gently touched my cheek like he did last time. It was so perfect.

"Goodbye Bella," he said softly, the bell was about to ring any second and we were very close to being late for fourth period.

"Bye Edward, and thanks again." I said, he smiled, turned around, and walked off to his last class of the day.

It felt like knives in my heart knowing that I wouldn't see him after school today. It was my favorite part of the day, and now it wasn't going to happen.

I entered gym sadly, then I left it even worse. Sadness plus being uncoordinated does _not_ work out too well. Half the time in gym class, I stumbled gloomily to the ground, or tripped over my own two feet. It was a terrible day in gym, especially for me.

I was glad to get home and leave that horrid place. Why did I have to end school with gym? It was hell on Earth, torture specifically designed for me.

I walked to my truck to quickly leave. Jacob's Rabbit was already gone. I pulled myself inside the truck and quickly drove home, though nothing compared to the morning's racing speed.

I reached my driveway and parked the car. Charlie was still at work, but Renee was unexpectedly home.

"Hey mom," I said as I walked inside and saw Renee in the kitchen, dressed in her odd 80's looking Yoga outfit.

"Hey honey, I'm about to go to Yoga. You want to come?" she said while stretching.

"Uh…. no thanks mom, I think I'll pass." I said jokingly.

"You're missing out Bella." She said, grabbing her keys, kissing my forehead, then walking towards the door. "Bye honey, see you later."

"Bye mom," I said while she marched out.

I was really sad that I wasn't going to spend any time with Edward today. My heart began to ache again, his presence always helped me, he was always there to help me, but I was alone now. I had nothing to do today but think about my dark angel and the pain that coursed through my body in his memory. I was desperate for relief and anything would do.

I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a coke. Before I closed the fridge, the phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked as I grabbed the receiver.

"Hey Bells, it's me. It's that call." His husky voice said, I smiled at the unexpected call and the answer to my plea for relief, then warmly replied.

"Hey Jake. I'm glad you called."

* * *

**A/N: Uh oh! Slight cliffhanger? Oh la la, what's going to happen? Haha, well lucky for everyone, I have a very good idea and outline for the next 2 chapters, which means I will write more and faster since I really know what to write about. **

**I hope you liked this chapter, it gave some insight on Edward and his life, his piano skills, Carlisle, etc...**

**So did you love it? Hate it? Have a favorite line? Favorite part? Tell me, I would LOVE to know!**

**So this past week was busy like I said in the last update. I didn't have access to a computer for a couple days, I wasn't able to write anything, and I was nervous over the state competition I had to do for my school. **

**The trip was amazingly fun though and I had a great time. Unfortunately I didn't place, but hey, I'm still number one in regions!**

**But anyways, back to the story...**

**Please tell me what you thought of this chapter/this story, I can't wait to finish it, though it will be a while.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Thank you :)**


	13. Vindicated

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry! Its been like 2 weeks since my last update! SORRY! I'll talk more about it at the end of the chapter. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

My Dark Angel

Chapter 13

_Vindicated_

I didn't know how I ended up here. I didn't know why I was suddenly being yelled at or why I was feeling guilty for something I shouldn't even feel that way about. What I did know however, was that I wasn't the only one who should feel guilty. What I did know, was that I should be yelling as well.

It all started with that phone call….

"Hello?" I asked as I grabbed the receiver.

"Hey Bells, it's me. It's that call." His husky voice said, I smiled at the unexpected call and the answer to my plea for relief, then I warmly replied.

"Hey Jake, I'm glad you called."

"I was wondering if we could spend some time together today?"

Thank God, my prayers have been answered. This was a sign, a relief to get my mind off of the depressing everyday struggles that I faced within myself. I'm alright…until I'm alone. Jacob called just in time, saving me from myself. I was all too willing to do anything with him.

"Yeah Jake, that would be perfect actually. What did you have in mind?"

"You wanna go down to La Push? The gang misses you." He said with a cute little puppy voice, begging for me to go.

"Of course, I miss them so much. It's been too long."

"It really has…Will you come over in a couple minutes?"

"I'm leaving right now." I said jokingly. I could tell Jacob was smiling.

"See you soon." He said softly.

"See you Jake," I hung up the phone, smiling, happy that I had something to do that could hopefully keep me happy.

It really had been too long since I had been to La Push to actually spend time with the people I've come to love like family. I went with Edward a couple days ago, but I didn't see anyone that I actually knew, all tourists and non-locals. I missed my second family; I missed Billy, Embry, Quil, Seth, Jared, and the rest of the gang. I've known them all my life and to not see them all the time was really rare and difficult. I needed this visit, and I was so glad Jacob finally made that call.

I walked out of my house and jumped into my truck. I was ready to leave and ready to head down to La Push. _I wonder what Edward's doing with his family right now, _I thought to myself. _I hope he's enjoying himself._

A day without Edward was like a day without color, without the sun, without beauty. It was like every night in the dark cold meadow. And I hated it. He filled me up with so much joy. Edward was my escape from my depressing reality. He was my constant source of happiness. Ever since he moved here, my world has been pushed and pulled into every imaginable direction. He has kept me sane, he has kept me balanced.

I pulled up to La Push and parked the car at Jacob's house. I saw his head peep out the window as he heard the roar of the truck's engine pulling into his gravel driveway. No one could miss the sound of the old Chevy, it was deafening. The door suddenly opened and Jake was running to me with his arms wide open and a grin on his face.

"Bella!" he said as he pulled me in for a tight bear hug. His grip was choking.

"Jake…Can't…..Breathe…" I tried to say through panicked gasps as he squeezed me harder. He let go of me and looked slightly embarrassed.

"Oh, sorry Bella…didn't mean to…" he said apologetically. I couldn't help but laugh.

"It's okay Jake. I enjoyed that hug, though it would have been better if I could have breathed during it." I said sarcastically. Jacob smiled and laughed with me.

"I underestimate my own strength," he said in his cocky tone while flexing his arm muscles. I rolled my eyes and kept laughing as he held onto my back and we walked towards his house.

We walked inside and I looked around, no one was home.

"Where is everybody?" I asked, wondering why we were the only two people here.

"Billy's at Sue's. We're going over there later. I thought we could spend time alone together first." Jacob wiggled his eyebrows with a little smirk. I laughed and raised mine, poking him in the side.

"Just kidding," he said like a child.

"You are so funny," I said to Jake sarcastically. "So what are we going to do?"

"You want to see my bikes? They're finished."

"Sure!" I said. Jacob had been working on them for weeks now. It was one of his number one priorities and I was glad he had finally finished. All his hard work had finally paid off.

We walked into his homemade garage, and Jacob walked ahead of me. He brought me to two objects that had white sheets on top of them, covering them. I only assumed that these two objects were the bikes. He looked at me then counted to three.

"One." He said excitedly then paused for a few seconds.

"Two." He finally whispered.

"Just go on with it," I said jokingly. Jacob grinned at me.

"Three." He lifted the sheet off of the bikes and it flew into the air, flowing beautifully back down next to the two motorcycles. They were both beautifully made. One was red and the other black, both shiny, both looking as if they were brand new.

"Wow. You did a really good job Jake." I said; I was still amazed at how well he could do these things. Building practically from complete scratch, it was crazy, and it took a lot of talent, talent that Jacob certainly had. He had completely repaired my truck, he had completely built his Rabbit, nothing was a challenge for him. He could create and repair anything, except my heart. That was his only flaw.

"Thanks Bells. I'm glad you like them." He said with a triumphant smile. I could see all the hard work he put into it. It must have taken most of all his time to have gotten the job done.

"When do you want to ride them?" Jacob asked jokingly.

"Ha right….motorcycles…great idea for me Jake. Nothing stupid about that." I said sarcastically. He was joking anyways; I knew he would never allow it, just like I would never allow myself. After the cliff, I had promised myself to never do anything stupid and reckless like that again, and riding a motorcycle in Forks definitely seemed to fall under that category.

"So who's going to ride the second one with you?"

"I figured Quil or Embry, or maybe I'll just sell it. Either one." He said blowing off the topic. Was he trying to hide something?

"Mhmm… that sounds cool. I bet Quil would get a kick out of these things." Jacob laughed in agreement, probably picturing Quil riding one of them.

"That would be a site to see."

Jacob and I sat in the little garage for a few minutes, talking, catching up on things, laughing. It all seemed fine and that everything was good between us again. I was glad to see this change, to see the old couple back again. It felt nice, and it was greatly needed.

Being with Jacob right now really made me start thinking about Edward and I. Was I really ready to break Jacob's heart? This reunion was making the decision even more difficult. There is no doubt that I love Edward, and there is no doubt that I love Jacob. Jacob has been in my life since forever, but it feels as if Edward has been in my life just as long. Edward completes me, and he helps me through my darkest times. But Jacob helps me too, in his own way. The thought of hurting either one was almost unbearable. No matter what decision I made, I would be hurting too. I would have to break the heart of someone I loved, which in return would break my own. It was a lose-lose situation for me.

Jacob stood up from where he was sitting and brushed his jeans off.

"You ready to go over to Sue's?" He asked, a grin pulling on his face. I stood up and nodded, brushing my jeans off as well.

"You bet," I said, mirroring his grin.

We walked together hand in hand to my truck, jumping in the red Chevy and racing down to Sue Clearwater's little house.

"Here we are," Jake said with a smile. I jumped out of the truck while Jake parked it. I was too excited to see everyone.

Jacob ran to catch up to me, laughing at my eagerness.

"Bella! Wait up!" he said, chuckling in between words. I kept on marching to the house like I was, Jacob easily at my side.

I reached for the door, but before I could open it myself, it swung open and I was attacked by a bundle of arms.

"Bella!" I heard from what seemed like a hundred voices. Everyone was shouting my name, glad to see me, and embracing me with hugs.

"Bella it's so good to see you!"

"We missed you Bella!"

One after another, I got a greeting from each person. It was like a mini party. Billy, Sue, Leah, Paul, Jared, Sam, Seth, Emily, Quil, and Embry were all here nestled in the tiny house. It was warm and soothing and I knew I was in a place full of love and happiness.

"Where have you been?" shouted Quil, giving me a high five then attempting to give Jake a noogie. I couldn't stop smiling, or laughing.

"I've been really busy, but I've missed you guys." I said wholeheartedly.

"Aw Bella, we've missed you too dear." Sue said, placing a hand on my shoulder, "It seems like ages ago since the last time we've seen you." I nodded in agreement.

"So what's going on? Any plans for the night?" I asked, wondering if they had something hidden up their sleeves.

"No," Embry snapped, his mouth twitching as if he was hiding a smile. I raised an eyebrow.

"What's going on?" I asked suspiciously.

"Nothing Bells," Jacob whispered in my ear. I gave him another suspicious look and he smirked.

Just then, half the people in the room walked out and went outside to the backyard. I tried to follow them but Jake wouldn't let me. He, Quil, Embry, and Seth stayed inside.

"Where is everyone going?" I asked, getting slightly annoyed now, but still very curious.

"Nowhere," Jake said. His nonchalant attitude was starting to bug me. Something was going on, and I was going to find out.

"Hey Bella, I bet I can beat Embry in an arm wrestling match. You doubt me?" Quil asked with a smirk on his face. Jacob smiled, so I only assumed that this was a distraction from what was happening outside. I didn't mind though, it was funny watching them compete against each other.

"Five bucks on Embry," I said and Quil scoffed.

"Five on Quil," Jacob said, still smirking.

Embry and Quil both sat down at Sue's dinner table, both elbows on the table, ready to pounce at any moment.

"On your mark," Jacob said slowly, I looked at Quil and then back at Embry.

"Get set," the suspense was building, Embry and Quil stared each other down with great intensity.

"Go." Then the strength and force whooshed from their bodies and the arms were strained trying to push each other. The veins looked as if they would explode.

No one budged. It was completely even. Quil's face became red and Embry's forehead began to accumulate a small shear line of sweat. It was a dead match; no one knew who would win.

Just then, I heard a loud bang outside, which distracted me from the intense arm wrestling contest.

"What was that?" I asked Jake.

He didn't look at me; he was too focused on the match. "Nothing." He said quickly.

I decided this was my chance to find out; Jacob wasn't paying any attention except on the two numskulls at the table. I decided to make a run for it.

I ran towards the door, and all I heard was an "Ahhaa!" and a "Stop!" and a "No fair!"

I plummeted to the ground outside, and Jacob was on top of me. He tried to stop me, but he didn't quite catch me in time. We were out in the back and I saw what was being hidden from me.

Billy looked at me and smiled.

"Welcome to the party!" he said friendly and smiling.

I looked around and all I saw were beautiful lights lit up around the trees and the house. There was a table filled with food, and music playing nearby. Sam was playing on the drums and Leah and Emily were dancing together. Sue was cooking food by a small fire and Billy had his old flute in his hand. It must have been an old Quileute party.

When I was little, I used to go to these parties all the time. Most of the Quileute Reservation would attend. They would be dressed up in traditional Native American clothing, as well as bringing traditional foods and games. They would bring instruments and play songs, dancing to them around a beautiful fire.

Though this party seemed different, more special in a way. The neighbors weren't here; it was just a group of close friends together for a good time. I wondered what they were celebrating.

Jacob finally got off of me and held out a hand for me to get up off the ground. I then brushed myself off and looked around again.

"What is all of this?" I asked stunned.

Jacob smiled and then spoke in his deep husky voice. "It's for you, a welcome home party." He said joyfully. "I told you we missed you." Then his grin returned to his face. "I thought it would make you feel better," he continued.

I gave Jacob a hug then proceeded to hug Billy and Sue, "Thank you." I said admiringly, "This is so nice…and unexpected."

Just then, Quil and Embry walked out of the house, bickering to one another with Seth following shortly behind, laughing. Quil had a smile on his face and Embry had a sour expression.

"It's no fair," Embry complained, "Bella ran out and distracted me. I want a rematch."

"I won fair and square. You can blame it on Bella all you want, but we both know that I am the stronger one." Quil said gloatingly.

"You are not." Embry said like a five year old.

"Are too." Quil replied laughingly.

"Oh stop it you two. You're acting like babies." Sue laughed out. Jacob chuckled and I joined in.

"You owe me five bucks Bells." Jacob said while playfully jabbing his elbow into my side.

"Ha yeah right." I scoffed. Jacob rolled his eyes but laughed.

"Bella, how are you liking the party?" Seth wondered joyfully as he headed for the table filled with food.

"It's great, so unexpected, thank you guys so much." I usually hated surprises, and parties for that matter, especially surprise parties, and most definitely surprise parties for me. This party would usually not be what I wanted, but oddly enough, it was nice, and it made me happy. I was unexpectedly enjoying it.

The boys began to stuff their faces with food while Jacob and I stood in the middle of the backyard surrounded by soft twinkle lights hanging around us.

"Will you dance with me?" Jacob asked sweetly into my ears.

"Jake, you know I don't dance." I said disapprovingly. I hated dancing. I was completely uncoordinated and dancing was one of my greatest enemies. No one could get me to dance, not even Jacob.

He didn't try to budge me; he just nodded his head and looked at the rest of the Quileute gang, watching them as they enjoyed the night. I felt bad to say no, but honestly dancing was really a bad idea for me.

I retrieved to a chair by the small fire and Jacob followed suit. Billy was sitting there playing the flute and Sue joined him, singing some old Quileute songs. Paul began to walk over to us, a smirk on his face.

"Not dancing guys?" he said teasingly looking at us. Jacob glared at him, and I just shook my head.

"Oh well," Paul added, his tone wasn't disappointed like it should have sounded, instead, it was a different tone, a mocking tone. It sounded like he was trying to start something. And for Paul, that was no surprise. He loved to buck horns with others, especially Jake.

"At least you can dance with that other girl Jake." Paul said with a wink, and Jacob's face froze then changed to a gruesome expression, like he was going to kill Paul.

_What other girl?_ Was it Renesmee that Paul was talking about? I hoped to God it was or else I would have been super pissed. Yes, I am mad that Jacob has been hanging with Renesmee behind my back. It's not so much that he's been hanging out with her then the fact that he won't tell me he's been hanging out with her. That is what makes me furious, his secrets; which was why I kept Edward a secret, giving Jacob a dose of his own medicine.

"What is he talking about?" I asked Jacob, Paul looked at him with surprise.

"You mean….you haven't….she doesn't…you didn't tell her about?" Paul kept stuttering and changing his words, never even completing his sentence.

"No, Paul. I haven't." Jacob gritted through his teeth, glaring at Paul with the deepest kind of disgust.

"Sorry," Paul said with a small corner raised at the end of his mouth.

"What is he talking about Jacob?" I repeated, getting annoyed now that he wouldn't answer my question. He shook his head, out of his anger trance and tried to pull his thoughts together.

"It's nothing. I've been working on a project with a friend for the past month." He said, acting nonchalant.

"Who's this friend?" I asked, though I already knew who it was.

"Renesmee Cullen." He stated.

I tried to act surprised. "Renesmee Cullen?"

"Yeah, the really hot one," Paul added. Jacob glared at him again then quickly looked at me, making sure I was okay.

"We just worked on our project for Spanish. Nothing happened." He assured me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked; I was truly curious as to why he didn't mention anything. Was this why he had been so busy lately?

"I don't know. I didn't think it was a big deal."

"If it wasn't a big deal, then why wouldn't you tell me?" Jacob looked flustered, like he didn't know how to answer any of my questions. It was as if he had no explanations for anything.

"When you told me you were busy these past weeks, working, and with Quil, was that all a lie?" I was slightly getting mad now, realizing he was lying to me. "Were you with Renesmee?"

Jacob looked shocked and confused, like he truly had no idea what to say or think or do.

"Yeah, most of the time, but I did have to work and hang out with Quil a lot too."

I rolled my eyes and sat up. I couldn't believe he had lied to me like that. At least I never really 'lied,' I just didn't say anything. He only assumed that I was home doing homework or dealing with my issues. Jacob on the other hand told me what he was doing, which was mostly a lie.

"I can't believe you lied to me Jake." I began to walk away towards the woods.

"Bella, please. Nothing happened." He begged as he followed me.

I didn't say anything, I just kept walking and heading towards the woods.

"Bella, where are you going?" he asked as I kept rushing to the evergreens.

I honestly had no idea why I was walking towards the woods. All I knew was I just needed to be alone and I needed to think. I needed to get away from Jake for a little bit and clear my mind. The woods seemed like a good idea.

I entered the woods and kept walking deep into the forest.

"Bella stop, please just talk to me." Jacob pleaded as I rushed further through the large trees and wet moss.

"Bella, talk to me." His voice was getting desperate now, and I just kept walking. We were really deep into the forest now. I looked back and saw nothing but more trees.

"Bella you are getting lost. Stop." I slowed my pace down a little bit, but still kept going. Jacob sounded really desperate and annoyed to get me to stop now.

"I know you're hanging out with Edward." He simply said; I stopped in my tracks. _He knows._

"What are you talking about?" I asked confused.

"Oh shut up Bella, you know what I'm talking about." He said sternly, completely caught up to me and standing right in front of my body.

"Do you have any idea how pissed I am about that? Edward fucking Cullen." He said angrily. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"The same reason you didn't tell me about Renesmee." I scoffed.

"Don't turn this around on me Bella! You've been sneaking around with Edward Cullen. Do you have any idea what people say about him?" Jacob was going off, what nerve he had! He did the same thing to me. He even knew about Edward and he didn't say anything, just so he could keep his little secret. He had no right to get mad at me. Even though I did the same, neither of us should get mad then, or at least both of us should be mad.

I looked around, trying to escape from him. I wanted to go back to the party then go home. But I had no idea where I was or how to get back. I was lost in the middle of the woods. I thought I had remembered how I got here, which way I came from, but I didn't. And it didn't help that Jacob was yelling at me.

"Bella, how could you do this to me?" I couldn't believe it; I was starting to feel guilty. Maybe it was because I had fallen in love with Edward, and Jacob probably didn't feel like that towards Renesmee. Maybe I felt guilty because what I had been doing with Edward didn't seem like just hanging out. It felt more to me, stronger and different, but Jacob didn't know that.

"I can't believe this Bella. Did you do anything with him?" Jacob continued.

I didn't know how I ended up here. I didn't know why I was suddenly being yelled at or why I was feeling guilty for something I shouldn't even feel that way about. What I did know however, was that I wasn't the only one who should feel guilty. What I did know, was that I should be yelling as well.

"Of course not Jacob, I am not a cheater." I was getting very angry now. "And stop yelling at me! You lied to me! Did _you_ do anything with _Renesmee_?"

He hesitated for a split second, "No Bella. Of course not." He calmly said, stepping closer to me to comfort me, instead I quickly pushed away.

"Jacob, I want to go home." I calmly yet sternly replied.

"Alright, which way did we come in?" He replied; my eyes opened wide at the realization that Jacob didn't know where we were either.

"You mean, you don't remember?" I asked worried.

"No…I was too busy trying to stop you and catch up to you."

"Oh my God Jake, I don't remember. How are we going to get back?" I was freaking out now. We were lost and stuck in the middle of the woods.

"Relax, I'll figure it out." He said; he wasn't freaking out, which made me feel a little relief. It seemed he wanted to leave as much as I did.

"Have you been facing this way the entire time?" He randomly asked, and I nodded my head confused.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure."

"Okay, then lets walk the opposite way and see where we end up." He said. I trusted Jake with the woods; he knew his way around pretty well in La Push. Soon enough I was sure he'd find something that looked familiar.

"Alright," but I was a little hesitant with his idea. He might have some knowledge about La Push, but his plan didn't seem to have much logic to it, more chance than anything. But I didn't argue. I was tired of arguing; instead we just walked in the way he suggested.

We finally found a breach in the woods and when we exited them, we were not by Sue's house and the party. We were on the beach.

"I know where we are. We're not far from Sue's," he said.

"Good, I am so tired." I really was, from all that walking, and the arguing, and the whole night. It was so fun in the beginning, but unfortunately it didn't end that way. I was crabby now, and exhausted, a very bad combination.

"Yeah, I'm surprised you haven't fallen yet." Jacob said trying to lighten the mood. Was he seriously making jokes? I looked at him with the 'I'm not in the mood/bad timing' face, he understood and shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm sorry I yelled back there." He said quietly. "It's just….Edward Cullen….I just don't have a good feeling about him. I hear so much about him, with girls, and I don't like it."

"Jake, none of that's true. He is really a nice guy. And what do you think I am supposed to think about Renesmee? She looks like a supermodel, and you've been lying to me about hanging out with her. Don't you think I would freak out just a little bit at least?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, that was a little suspicious of me. But Bella, nothing happened."

I believed him, well, I wanted to believe him. I didn't think Jacob had a cheating bone in his body. He was a good guy. He had a little temper, but he was good. He wouldn't do such a thing. He really did love me.

I could see Sue's house about a hundred yards up from where we were. The lights were faintly shining in the distance.

"I see Sue's." I said.

"I do too, we're almost there." Jacob looked at me, "you still want to go home?"

"Yeah, I might as well. It's a school night, and I am really tired."

"You're right." Jacob said, but it was low and faint, I'm sure he felt bad about how the night had turned out.

We walked back to the Clearwater's backyard and I said goodbye to everyone. Paul apologized for before and then Jacob took me to my truck at his place.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He said, still looking guilty about what had happened today.

"Alright, bye Jake." I said as I got into the truck and began to slowly pull away. Before I sped up Jacob quickly ran to my car door and knocked on the window. I stopped the truck and rolled the window down.

"I love you Bella." Jacob quietly said in his sad but cute puppy face. "I'm glad you came today, even though it ended this way." He continued. I felt bad about what happened, but it felt kind of awkward between us.

"I love you too Jake, it was fun." I sympathetically replied, but it felt weird to say 'I love you' to him for some reason. It was the first time I felt like I might actually be losing my feelings for Jacob, and it scared me. We've been through so much together and I couldn't believe this day was actually coming where I might not love him anymore. I still love him, I'll always love him, but it just didn't feel the same.

Jacob gave me a sweet smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. I smiled back the same, closed my window, then slowly drove off.

I drove home thinking about our fight. Was I able to hang out with Edward still? Certainly Jake couldn't stop me, but I had to anyways. We were still working on our project.

I reached the house and parked, walking inside and heading straight to my room. No one was downstairs anyways; I only assumed they were either upstairs in bed or not even home at all.

I was really looking forward to tomorrow. I couldn't wait to see Edward and I couldn't wait for that girl's night. I really needed it since tonight happened. It was an eye opening day. I felt vindicated. Jacob finally knew my secret and I finally knew his. I could only hope that nothing would change this. I could only hope that Edward would still play a big part in my life. But Jacob couldn't stop me from seeing him anyways, it was my choice and it was my life.

I collapsed on my bed and fell straight into the meadow, a deep dark slumber that I had come to know for a while now. It was my every night, my normal now. It was a place where I could let out all my frustrations, and end the day with a good cry. The meadow, which was once my heaven, had become my hell, and was now my place to vent all my problems, a place I was beginning to tolerate. It was the true vindication of my stress and emotions.

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**A/N: So was it worth the wait? I hope it was! **

**I have been so busy lately, my grandparents just arrived from Wisconsin to stay with us for the weekend. And the past two weeks have been filled with midterms!**

**So again, I am SO sorry for the delay! I promise I'll get the next chapter out within a week, no more two week breaks!**

**But also, I just wasn't in the mood to write lately, but last night I got a buzz of creativity and just kept writing. The chapter could have been longer if I had gone into more detail, but I just wanted to finish it and send it out to you as fast as I could. So sorry if it seems crammed or rushed or whatever, I just wanted you to get as much as you could ASAP. **

**So again, I hope you liked it. Or did you hate it? Favorite line? or favorite part? **

**Tell me, I would love to know!**

**And does anyone have any theories on what might happen in the next chapter at the girl's night!? Uh oh! haha**

**No, I doubt it will be anything crazy, but hey, you never know. It all depends on the way I'm feeling.**

**I would also like to thank the three reviewers who do not have accounts, therefore I could not thank them personally. I loved their reviews and they made me smile. Thank you, you are wonderful. Those reviewers are GirlNextDoor, Ham Nox, and Storytime.**

** PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Thank you!**


	14. Unexpected Surprises

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: Yes! Update! And it didn't even take a week! Just a few short days! Well longer now since we had to add a damn hour to the clock! I felt jet lagged. Anyone else? I sure as hell do!**

**anyways... **

**Here it is...chapter 14. I hope you enjoy :)**

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 14

_Unexpected Surprises_

TGIF. Thank God it was Friday. I was ecstatic. After the rough night with Jacob, I could really use a break and hang out with Jessica and Angela. They would surely get my mind off of this drama that I was going through. Though it wasn't really drama, just a difficult conflict that would crush someone's heart if I wasn't careful, it was just a decision that could change my life for better or for worse. _Certainly no big deal, _I thought to myself and scoffed at the idea while shoving a pillow over my face from my bed. I was completely frustrated.

I slowly got out of bed and prepared myself for the sure to be crazy day. I dreaded first period with Jacob, but I couldn't wait for lunch and Biology where I would see Edward. He filled my heart with joy and love; I couldn't wait to see his beautiful face and his crooked smile.

After I finished dressing and getting ready, I walked downstairs and was welcomed by a bad smell in the kitchen and Charlie and Renee fanning the oven.

"What happened?" I asked chuckling while fanning in front of my face. There was a whirlwind of smoke rising from the oven.

"Aw damn it." Renee said as she pulled out what looked like a charcoal egg casserole. "I tried to make breakfast this morning."

"I see," I said, trying to hold back a smile.

"I told her it was a bad idea." Charlie chided while helping Renee.

"We're still eating it; we will not let this food go to waste." Renee said sternly.

Charlie and I both looked at each other and gulped.

"Um actually mom, I'm not that hungry, and I'm running late for school." I lied; I actually had a lot of time to spare. I had a good 30 minutes before I needed to be at school.

"Yeah Renee, I'm not hungry either. I had a big dinner last night." Charlie added on, trying to get himself out of the situation.

"Oh put a lid on it Charlie, you are eating this with me." She said, and Charlie moaned like he was about to die, throwing his head in the air like he just finished a 5K. I couldn't hold my smile in anymore after that.

Renee made Charlie sit at the table as I gathered my belongings to leave so I'd be saved from having to eat the less desirable unmentionables. As I began to walk out of the house, I looked back and saw Renee slap a big heap of burnt egg casserole onto a plate right in front of Charlie.

"Bye mom, bye dad," I called as I watched.

"Bye dear! Have a good day!" Renee called after me while Charlie glared at me in jealousy.

He looked panicked, and I could have sworn a line of sweat was beginning to accumulate in front of him.

"Dig in," I heard Renee say as I began to walk out of the house, "you _will_ eat every last bite."

I began to laugh and then tripped over my own feet and fell into the driveway.

"Ouch," I said as I scraped the palm of my hands on the dry concrete. Wait a minute... _dry concrete._

I looked up at the sky and around the street. It was sunny, barely any clouds in the sky, and the birds were chirping. It was a beautiful day out, a very big and unexpected surprise. I took a deep breath and basked in the sun for a few seconds, filling my lungs with the warm sweet air and letting my skin be kissed with the sunbeams.

The weather instantly made me chirper as I got up and carefully walked to my truck. Hopefully today was going to be a good day.

I began to drive to school, then looked at the radio and remembered I was going to be 30 minutes ahead of schedule. Which meant that by the time I would get to school, I would have around 15 minutes to do nothing.

I decided to drive slowly to knock a minute or two off of my nothing time. It didn't do much, but at least I wasn't going to be 15 minutes early, instead I would be 14.

I pulled into the parking lot and into my usual spot. I saw Jacob leaning against his old Rabbit next to it.

He was waiting for me, looking at me with a stricken face. I felt bad for last night, I treated him unfairly, but he definitely treated me the same way back. He was out of line, but I certainly played a part in the unreasonable argument.

I parked the truck and slowly opened the door. Jacob helped and reached out a hand for me to exit the vehicle. I took it, climbed out, then looked at him, waiting to hear what was only assumed to be an apology.

"Bella, I am so sorry for last night. I really didn't mean to get all mad like that."

"You know Jake; you can't just get mad over stupid things."

"If I do recall, you got mad over it too, before I did."

"Jake, what did you expect, that when Paul said those things that I was going to be all dandy and okay with it? No!"

"I know I know, but you didn't have to go off like that and rush into the woods. We could have seriously been lost."

"You didn't have to follow me," I said, folding my arms. His face looked even more stricken.

"And what, leave you alone in the woods where you would have gotten lost all by yourself? We would have had to gather a search team for you Bella. Who knows what could have happened. With your ability to attract danger, something really bad could have happened to you."

"It's not like I can't find my way out of the woods." I said grumpily.

"Well last night you couldn't." Jacob sneered and I scoffed back at him.

"I'm sorry I'm not an expert woodsman that knows my way around everything." I snorted sharply.

Instead of saying some kind of comeback, Jacob looked at me for a second then began to laugh. He burst out laughing, uncontrollably. What had I said?

"What...? What's so funny?" I asked annoyed.

"Just what you said," he exclaimed, still chuckling.

"How was that funny?" I asked nudging at him for an answer.

"It just was….woodsman…" He roared loudly again with his contagious laugh. I began to giggle a little bit, but nothing near to the extent that he was. I was annoyed but I playfully slapped his arm and told him to stop laughing. He slowed down a bit, and then controlled himself. We were silent for a few minutes, then Jacob began to speak.

"I really am sorry though Bells. Do you forgive me?" He begged, looking at me with his puppy expression.

"I suppose." I said smiling, drawing out the words as I said them.

"Good," he said then reached for me and pulled me in for a tight hug.

"Do you still love me?" he asked while still holding me close.

"Of course I do Jake." I honestly did love him still. I couldn't just throw 12 years of love down the drain. He has been in my heart forever; there will always be a place for him there. But it just won't be as big as the place Edward has, it just wasn't the same anymore.

Jacob has always had my heart, ever since I've known him it felt like he filled it up completely. But once my dark angel came, it felt like there was a whole space that had never been filled that was now being covered. There was an emptiness I never knew I even had, but my dark angel filled it up. And when he left, he took everything. That once filled spot became a gaping hole that was now noticeable and definitely painful. Jacob still had his spot, but it couldn't stand a chance compared to the other one. And his little spot, though still very important, could not stand a chance in repairing the newly empty hole made by my true love.

I never noticed the absence before until I had lost what I once had. The absence of him is everywhere, and I can never escape it, unless I am with Edward. When Edward came into my life, he was like the healer of hearts and souls. He was beginning to repair the hole that had been left from my dark angel. Every part that he repaired, transformed into his own spot, like it always strangely belonged to him. He didn't make his own hole because for some reason he just turned my dark angel's hole into his own. It was like that spot had always been his. I couldn't understand it.

But there Edward was, repairing my heart and healing it as if it had never been hurt in the first place. If Jacob was trying to repair me, I would be somewhat healed. I would have scars, and nicks all over the place. I would never be perfectly fixed and everyone would forever see that I had once been badly hurt. But with Edward, I am perfectly healed in the places he's fixed so far. He's slowly taking over that giant area in my heart and he's rebuilding it perfectly, making it look like there had never been a hole in the first place. With Edward, I am new again, and I am whole.

"Good, because I love you," Jacob said and he lifted my face and gave me a strong kiss. I hadn't kissed him in a while and it seemed like forever. We had been so distant lately that kissing wasn't even on our minds. Fixing what was going on was the only thing he probably thought about, that, the pain, and Edward was all I ever thought about.

Before I knew it, the whole parking lost was filled with students. Everyone was here and they were all headed to their first period classes.

"You ready to go Bells?" Jacob asked me, holding my hand. I nodded then looked frantically for Edward's car. It wasn't here. He wasn't parked in his normal spot, he wasn't even parked. His car was missing. _Where the hell is he?_

I hoped to God that Edward was on his way to school. I needed him today; I needed to see him before the girl's night and the weekend. I needed Edward.

Jacob and I kept walking; I stopped searching for Edward, giving up in my hopeless pursuit. I gave in to my fears of his absence and then walked with Jacob to our first period.

We went to our normal seats and dropped our stuff next to our feet. Angela was already there, sitting next to Ben as usual.

"Hey Bella." She said cheerfully, obviously excited about later today.

"Hey Ang," I replied to her greeting.

"You excited about tonight?" she asked, playing a smile on her face.

"Yeah I really am, are we still going to see that movie?" I asked her, remembering how Edward didn't want me to see it.

"Yeah most likely. I tried talking Jess out of it, but she won't budge. She's dead set on seeing it." Angela rolled her eyes but laughed. I laughed too.

"It's so hard changing her mind once she's decided on something."

"Yeah, that's so true." As Angela finished her sentence, the intercom came on and announcements for upcoming school events began to come on. I never paid attention to them, but once a giant roar came through the classroom, I decided to pay attention.

"…So come out next month and get your boogie on. Prom will be at 8 and will end at 12. Enjoy the ball, and don't be too late on asking that special someone as your date."

The intercom turned off and everyone began to gossip. _Prom, dancing, no. _There was a for sure no for me, everyone knows I hate to dance, and everyone knows that I _can't _dance. I promised myself I would never go to prom, it was an absurd idea and I was never really fond of school functions anyways.

Angela began talking to Ben about prom and then turned back to me.

"Bella are you going this year?" she looked at me expectantly.

"No….I don't…it's just….no." I said, stuttering out to get an answer.

"You should think about it, prom is so much fun." She smiled at me with encouragement.

"Yeah Bella, prom." Jacob added grinning. I turned to him and gave him a chiding expression.

"Jake, you know my answer. You know I won't go." I simply stated. His face fell a little. I hope he didn't take it personally, he of all people should know my distaste for prom and dancing.

"Jake, you know I would say no to anyone. I wouldn't go with anyone." He gave me a half smile and I kissed him softly on the cheek.

"You should still think about it Bella," Angela added in. "It really is a lot of fun."

I didn't reply, I just smiled at Angela then turned around. That was about it for first period. A few thumb wars with Jacob here and there and some rock paper scissors contests, all of which I beat Jacob at, except thumb war. It was a good day, until the bell rang and the anxiety of Edward possibly not being here returned.

I had one more class before I would find out if Edward was actually here or not. All I had was math with Jess until the inevitable would happen.

Jacob and I left Lit together hand in hand. He kissed my cheek and scooted me off to math with Jessica. She waited for me in the class like usual, smiling like crazy and overly excited. If I hadn't known any better, I could have sworn the girl had ADD or something. She always had way too much energy.

"Bella! Are you excited for tonight?" she exuberantly asked.

"Yeah, I can't wait!" I said, trying to mimic her excitement and failing.

"We are going to have so much fun! And the movie! It looks so good!" She said.

"Yeah, I bet," I was actually beginning to have a bad feeling about the movie she wanted us to see. 'Two Is a Party, Three Is a Crowd," the name even had my stomach turning. It was a romantic film, and the title didn't seem very promising. Was it a love triangle? Because the three's a crowd most certainly implied that possibility. I really hoped that it wasn't that kind of movie. I didn't know if I could sit through something like that. It would be unbearable since my life is basically a love triangle in itself.

I have the love I've ever known, Jacob, and now I have the love I never knew I could ever have or ever want, Edward. It was an excruciating problem knowing that whatever action I made, I was going to hurt someone I loved.

"So right after school, we are all going to meet at Angela's house. We will hang out there for a little bit until we are ready to go to the movie. Then after that we can do whatever."

"Okay, sounds good." I replied.

For the remainder of the period, all I could think about was if Edward was here or not and about the movie. Why did Edward not want me to see that movie? And how did he already know about it? It was a nice feeling though, having him protect me like he was and caring. The thought was strange, but in a way it was like he knew something bad might possibly happen. But I wasn't for certain, I had to wait and find out for myself in a few hours.

Math ended and I said goodbye to Jess. I fretfully walked to the cafeteria where I awaited the news on whether or not Edward was here.

I saw Ben and Angela already eating at the table. I sat down with them and looked around. There was no site of him.

"Hey, have you seen Edward at all today?" I asked both of them.

They looked at each other then shook their heads.

"No sorry," they both said in unison. _Damn_.

_Well maybe he's just skipping lunch_, I thought to myself, _but if he's just skipping, why isn't Renesmee here either?_

I had to face the facts, Edward wasn't here today, and my heart sank at the realization. He was what I looked forward to every day, and he wasn't here. I still wanted to deny it, to believe that he would just randomly show up behind me and greet me, or be waiting for me in Biology when I got there, but I knew deep down that he wasn't here today. I was 90% sure where he was; I only wished that he wasn't.

I remembered the conversation I had with him the first time he missed a day of school, telling me why he had not been there…

_"So where were you today? You're obviously not sick," I gestured to his healthy appearance. Edward chuckled and nodded._

_"I went on a hike with my father today. We haven't hiked in a while, and today was such a rare and beautiful day that he decided I could stay home from school and explore the woods of Forks, Washington with him."_

I only assumed that Edward was hiking with his family again. It seemed that every sunny day they would do such a thing. They were a close family, and I loved how they interacted with one another. But I forever hated the sun now that it meant Edward would disappear whenever it came along. I would rather be in a cold, wet, dreary town with Edward all my life then to be in a warm, sunny, healthy town with no Edward for a day. Because when Edward was here, he made me feel warm, he made my world sunny, and he made me healthy. He was my antidote, my medicine for a bad day. He could cure the incurable for all I knew, he could do anything. And without him, even the sunniest and warmest of days would feel like cold, wet, dreary pits of darkness. Even the happiest of places would be the saddest of worlds. Edward fixed everything, and without him I would be lost.

Lunch ended and I walked to biology, still grasping on the tiny bit of hope that Edward would be sitting in his normal seat waiting for me.

I turned into the room and looked up. I was greeted by no one. He wasn't there.

Today I would be alone in Biology, studying and working by myself. I would not be bothered by anyone, allowing my mind to wander and enter the places I tried so desperately to bar myself from. There was no escape once I was alone, no place to leave for solitude. I was left to face my fears and conflicts. I was left to fight my everyday battles and struggle to survive, without losing my sanity.

I sat down in my lab seat and opened my book. The last thing I wanted was for the pain to come back, it had been so minimal lately because of Edward that I barely even noticed it anymore.

I read and read and read. Today was a day to work on our science fair projects with our partner. My partner wasn't here, so it was a day of doing nothing, how ironic. I read my science book, filling my mind with theories of logic and alien creatures, anything to keep my mind off his absence and everything else that came along with it.

Before I knew it, the day was almost over and I was heading off to gym, my most hated class of the day.

I was on better terms with Mike. He still bugged me at times, but he really didn't mean much harm. He was just conflicted all these years because he always had a crush on me. Now that Edward was in the picture, Mike was even more jealous. He still helps me out now and then in gym, but sometimes it seems like the contact between us hurts him. I apologized for the punch I had given him not too long ago, it was a bit extreme, but at the time he definitely deserved it.

"Hey Bella," he said quietly as I walked in. He wasn't as cheerful as he used to be when he would see me, but I thought of it as him finally realizing that I would never date him. His behavior to me seemed like he was finally accepting it and moving on, which in the long run made me very happy. I didn't want to see him wasting his time on someone that would never reciprocate the feelings. I had to hurt enough hearts; I didn't want to add his to the list.

"Hey Mike," I replied, trying to give him a soft smile.

"You hear about prom?" he asked, _oh no, please don't ask me…._

"Yeah, I really don't want to go. I hate dancing, and those kinds of things." I said trying to change whatever he was thinking, if he was even thinking that way.

"Yeah…I don't know who to ask." He said looking confused.

"You should ask Jessica. I'm sure she would love to go with you." I encouraged him. Jessica had a crush on Mike, for some time now, but he never gave her the time of day, mostly because he always liked me.

"Yeah, I was actually thinking that." He said which surprised me.

"That's good! I'm really sure she would say yes." Mike looked at me, confusion still on his face. He was probably wondering why I was so happy about him possibly asking Jessica to prom.

"Yeah, we'll see." He said.

Coach Hoff walked in and then told the entire class that today was a free day. We could do anything we wanted as long as we were doing something. I decided to play ping pong with Mike.

We hit it softly back and forth while talking about Prom and school. Mike was good today, and I was thankful for it. I didn't want another conflict to add on to the horrible day of missing Edward. Jacob helped by being good, Mike helped, and now Angela and Jessica would help.

The bell finally rang and it was time for the girl's night out. I said bye to Mike then met Jacob outside by my truck.

"Hey baby!" Jacob said smiling while hugging me. He obviously had a good day today or maybe he was just happy that we were currently on good terms.

"Hey." I said smiling as he began to softly kiss my neck. It tickled and I began to laugh.

"Stop Jake," I said teasingly pulling away from him.

"Never," he said smiling with his eyes closed then kissing me on the lips. He felt so warm and the sun's rays added on to that warmth.

Then I heard a car honk at me and I opened my eyes to see who it was.

"Come on Bella! We gotta go! Girl's night, remember?" Jessica yelled from her window slightly annoyed but smiling. I laughed then nodded.

"I'll see you Jakey." I teased, saying his childhood name.

"Bye Bells," he kissed me again then let me go. He walked to his car then waved to me as I got into my truck and followed Jess to Angela's house.

When we arrived at her house, Angela was already inside preparing for whatever we were going to do.

Jessica parked outside on the street and I parked right behind her. We both got out of our cars at the same time and entered Angela's house together. She was extremely giddy and excited.

"This is going to be so much fun!" Jessica said while Angela opened the front door as we walked up to it.

"Hey!" Angela shouted, excited for the afternoon/night to begin.

"Hey Ang!" Jessica and I said together.

"So what are we going to do first?" I asked as we headed up to Angela's room.

"Gossip!" Jessica giggled and Angela and I looked at each other with the 'oh my' expression playing on our faces.

We entered Angela's room and sat on her bed. She grabbed a magazine from the side of her bed and began flipping through the pages while Jessica looked at me with a little smirk on her face.

"So guess what I heard today." Jessica started.

"What?" Angela asked.

"I heard Mike is going to ask me to prom." She said in a secretive but excited voice.

"Really?" Angela questioned.

"Yes! That's what I heard!" she said excitedly while smiling brightfully at Angela.

"It's true," I added and Jessica whipped her head to me and looked at me questioningly. I continued, "I was talking to Mike about it today in gym."

"Really?!" Jessica freaked out.

"Yes. He basically told me he was going to ask you."

"Oh my God!" Jessica squealed. "This is so awesome!"

Angela and I began to laugh. Jessica was smiling and kicking around in enjoyment.

"Ha calm down Jess," Angela said smiling.

"Sorry guys, it's just so exciting. That just made my day. But moving on….Bella…" I looked at Jessica and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes….?" I asked, wondering what she was going to bring up now.

"Tell me about you and Edward." She went on smiling.

"What do you mean?" I asked, slightly startled at the subject.

"You know…you two have gotten pretty close lately. Is there something going on?" Angela was in tune on this conversation now as well. She closed her magazine and patiently waited for an answer.

"I don't know…we are really good friends." I answered.

"But is there something more? Come on Bella. You can tell us." Jess encouraged.

"Not really." I simply replied.

"Bella…. Do not say there is nothing going on between you and Edward," Angela added in. It was odd for her to be in a conversation like this, prying information out of me.

"I've seen the way you two interact. The way he looks at you and the way you look at him. There is something really strong going on Bella. Do not deny it." Angela continued.

"I…ugh…well… I'm confused."

"What about Jake?" Jessica asked. "Do you still love him or are you going to end things….?"

"I don't know."

"Bella, you have to figure it out. You can't lead him on." Angela said.

"I know. I don't want to. I just don't know what to do." I complained. "It's so complicated, and difficult."

"Do you love him?" Angela asked.

"Of course I do." I replied.

"No, do you love _him..._ Edward." Angela interrupted. I didn't reply at first, I hesitated.

"Bella…." Jessica nudged me on.

"Yes." I finally said. The room was silent and Jessica and Angela looked at each other with shock on their faces. Then they thought to themselves, really concentrating on something.

"What are you going to do?" Angela finally asked.

"I don't know, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I love them both. I've been with Jacob forever. He's always been there. But Edward, he's so amazing and he makes me forget everything. I've never felt anything like the feelings I have for him."

"Well then it seems you have made a decision." Jessica interceded.

"But I haven't. I don't know."

"Bella, you know I rarely bud in on your personal business, but as a friend, you need some advice... Just listen to your heart Bella. Just ask yourself what you want, who you want and act on it. It will be okay. You know what to do." Angela said, trying to help me out with sincere words.

"I hope so, but sometimes I can't help but think something bad is going to happen. I know I want Edward, but I just can't seem to let go of Jacob. He means so much to me, he is my best friend. But I know I can't live without Edward."

"God girl, you got it bad," Jessica said looking at me with amazed eyes.

"I know," I said, slightly tearing up. Angela moved to me and gave me a hug.

"It will be okay Bella, everything will be okay." She said soothingly.

"Thanks, I really hope so." Angela comforted me for a few minutes while Jessica sat there thinking then looking at the time.

"Well, this is bad timing, but we need to go right now if we're gonna make it to the movie." Jessica chimed in. Angela let go of me then looked at my face making sure I was ready to go and that I was alright. I nodded in assurance, letting her know that I was fine and that we could go.

"Okay, let's head out," Angela said. We all got up and headed downstairs for the front door.

"I'll drive." Angela volunteered. Jess and I agreed then walked to her car.

"Shotgun!" Jessica shouted. I didn't fight her for it. I just quietly walked to the back of the car and sat behind Angela.

I was still mentally comprehending how I told Angela and Jessica my dilemma. I had never admitted it to anyone, I had never spoken the troubles that I was going through, but in Angela's room I had let it all out. I vented to them. In a way it felt like I had finally freed myself, but in another way it felt like I had just trapped myself too. Now I would have to worry about them spilling to others. I trusted them, yes, but I still couldn't help but worry. There was always the possibility that they could tell someone, and I focused and worried on that small possibility until my brain hurt.

On our way to the movies, Jessica and Angela jammed to some girl pop music. I didn't join in much, it wasn't really my thing. I sat in the back thinking, thinking about life, the movie, what might happen tomorrow or the day after. My mind was filled with worries, worries that would never end and just kept coming. They were flooding my brain and I was constantly thinking about the bad things in life.

"We're here!" Jessica squealed as Angela parked in the theatre parking lot. I looked at the movie showing sign and saw one of my worries, 'Two's Is a Party, Three Is a Crowd.'

We all jumped out of the car, Jessica and Angela more excited than I was.

"You okay Bella?" Angela asked with a concerned expression as we walked up to the ticket booth. I gave her a fake smile and replied.

"Yeah, of course." Angela didn't seem to believe me, but she nodded instead of contradicting.

"Alright, but everything will be okay Bella, just remember that." She said with a smile. I nodded, though I knew it wouldn't.

I purchased my ticket after Angela and Jessica. Hoping that I wouldn't regret wasting my money, I proceeded to walk into the theatre where I would soon endeavor to sit through the unknown.

"I hope this is good," I mumbled to Angela who was sitting to my left and Jessica on my right.

"Me too," she replied.

"God! This is going to be so awesome! Have you seen the previews? So much drama!" Jessica busted out gleefully.

"Awesome," I mumbled sarcastically, too low for Angela or Jessica to hear that time.

The lights began to dim and the previews began to show. The audience became quiet and Jessica automatically silenced; the one good part to watching movies with her.

I didn't pay much attention to the previews, I only thought about the movie and what it could possibly be about. My worries obliterated my other interests. I didn't want to leave because that would cause Angela and Jessica to follow and miss out on the movie, or well only Angela would follow because Jessica would probably continue watching the movie. I had to stay.

The movie began and I was left with no options but to watch….

"Oh…my….god! That movie was so good! I can't believe that happened, so sad! I totally cried. Did you cry Bella?" Jessica practically yelled out as the movie ended. I didn't respond. I was still staring at the now blank screen.

"Bella are you okay?" Jessica asked me, but I didn't pay attention. I didn't move from my seat. I was frozen in dismay, shock from what I had just seen and experienced.

"I think it was the movie," I heard Angela whisper to Jessica, "it must have been too much for her."

Indeed it had been. The movie was exactly like its title and exactly what I thought it would have been like. There were three main characters, two boys, and one very conflicted girl. She had been dating one of the boys since she was a very little girl, he was all she knew, he was the love of her life…or so she thought. Then the second boy came in, she randomly met him somewhere and they hit it off right away. She had never felt anything like the way she felt for him. Yes, she loved her boyfriend, but she loved the new guy so much more. She didn't know what to do.

The movie spent most of the time showing us the love she had for both boys. It showed the confliction between her life and the one painstaking choice she inevitably had to make.

She knew she had to hurt someone, but she couldn't bear to do it. She kept her new love a secret from the other, hoping she could keep both of them without either of them knowing. The boys found out and tried to fight for her; they would have done anything for her. Then the worst possible occurrence happened. The boys actually fought each other, physically.

The girl was too late to stop them, and when she finally arrived to the scene, they both had died in the battle. She was heartbroken. By her selfishness, she was left alone, not being able to have any of her loves. She was so depressed and sad that she took her own life in the pursuit to end the painful one she had carelessly created for herself.

There was no happy ending; there was no fairytale, just a tragedy that would scar me for life. It was a story of the greatest selfishness and the greatest love. Greed stopped her from being happy. Greed stopped her from being with the one, or in this case ones, that she loved.

Though I did see her motives, I didn't necessarily think it was out of greed that made the girl not choose. I thought it was out of love and compassion. She didn't want to hurt either of the boy's hearts. She loved them too much to have one and then crush the other. She was thoughtful, but she was stupid. Just like me.

"Bella, come on, let's go." Jessica said trying to snap me out of my temporary paralysis. I shook out of my frozen state and looked at the two.

"Sorry," I apologized quietly.

"It's okay Bella; we shouldn't have seen this movie. We should have known." Angela said in her caring tone. She always knew what to say and what was going on. Her observational skills were extraordinary.

"That's alright. It was sort of a wakeup call. You know?" I said, still quietly, staring blankly at the screen.

"Yeah, I understand." Angela replied.

"Come on let's go, we can get some ice cream. That should cheer you up," Jessica proposed.

"You two can go, I have to get home." I lied.

The truth was that I wanted to go home; I wanted to get away from hearing about the movie and having to talk about my problems. I liked keeping things to myself. I liked having that secrecy, though it was nice to vent. It was just too difficult for me, the topic was way too personal and complicated to discuss.

"Alright, we'll go back to my house so you can get your car." Angela said. Jessica didn't seem too happy about that, but it was alright. She was easily distracted and would easily get over it.

When we finally reached Angela's house, I swiftly exited the car and headed for my truck.

"Thanks for the girl's night. It was nice," I said to them. Angela smiled and Jessica didn't pay much attention.

"Thanks for coming, I hope you are okay." Angela replied. I smiled back.

"Yeah, me too."

Angela looked worried, but she let me go anyways. I walked to my truck and hopped inside. I didn't turn any music on, I just thrusted on the engine and drove home as fast as the speed limit would let me.

I couldn't believe how similar the movie was to my own life. It made me really scared of not making a decision yet. How long would it be before Jacob and Edward had had enough? How long would it be until they possibly fought each other? The last thing I wanted was for something bad to happen to them. I loved them both, but I still wasn't ready to make a decision. And knowing that made me really scared.

What if they got tired of me, tired of waiting and moved on? Both of them? I couldn't bear to lose Edward, and Jacob as a friend for that matter. They had to be in my life, one way or another.

I parked my car outside of my house and noticed there was another car across the street that had not been there earlier before. I looked to the front door of my little house and saw a tiny girl with short black pixie hair staring straight at me. It was dark out, but I could tell she was smiling at me with a little cheeky grin that I had known for so many years, and had not seen for far too long.

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**A/N: Yes, I know, FINALLY! lol**

**hmmm were you expecting that? I bet not! This was a pretty lengthy chapter, I hope I did it justice. **

**did you like that little cliffhanger? Well its not really a cliffhanger because you basically know who it is. haha...You can only imagine what will be in store for the next chapter, and I bet no one can even guess as to what will happen!**

**So tell me, did you love it? Hate it? Did you have a favorite line or a favorite part? What's your favorite chapter so far? What do you think of the story?**

**I would love to know, so tell me! :)**

**The next chapter I'm sure will be out soon! I hope you enjoyed this!**

**REVIEW!**

**Thank you :D**


	15. Alaska

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does. **

**A/N: Here it is! Chapter 15! I wrote basically all of it in a day because it was a very easy chapter to write, but a lot of words! The inspiration just kept coming and coming. I hope you enjoy!**

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 15

_Alaska_

"Alice?" I asked bewildered as I got out of my car.

"Bella!" She yelled joyfully then jumping to me with her arms wide open, squeezing me with all the might her little body could conjure up.

"What are you doing here?" I asked pleasantly surprised.

"I came to town on a visit, and I haven't seen you in years! So I decided to stop by and catch up….Oh I've missed you Bella!" She said then gave me another hug.

"I've missed you too Alice," I smiled at her presence and relished in the embrace.

We went into my house where we were bombarded by my parents.

"Alice?" Renee asked, blinking rapidly to process what she was seeing. "Is it really you?" She then gave a huge smile and held her arms out for the pixie like girl. Alice leaped gracefully to her and returned the hug.

"Hey squirt, its' nice to see you again," Charlie said, giving Alice a hug as well, though his was much shorter.

Alice Brandon had been my best friend ever since we were little. Alice and her brother Emmett were the funniest and kookiest kids to have ever stepped foot in Forks, Washington. We grew up together, and we spent every moment together, until 3 years ago when I was in the 8th grade. Alice's dad got a new job…. the location?… Alaska.

They were rushed to Alaska in a matter of days, I was heartbroken and so was she. We tried to keep in touch with each other. She used to call me or I used to call her every day. Then it turned to a few calls a week, to once in a while, to never. I was sad with the slow regression of our friendship; she had always been a big part in my life and without her, it felt wrong, unnatural even. This unexpected visit had been a wonderful surprise.

After my parents talked to Alice for a little while, asking about her family and how Alaska was, Alice and I rushed upstairs to my room.

She sat on the front of my bed, I by the pillows.

"So tell me about Alaska, it's been forever. What's been going on?" I asked Alice, she sped right up and began talking, excited to tell of the adventures she had had in Alaska and the people she had met.

"Well it's been really good. Emmett has been dating a girl for about two years now."

"Really? What is her name? What is she like?" I asked, Emmett was always the jock type, I could only imagine she was a cheerleader that was perfect in every single way.

"Her name's Rosalie, she's really nice, a little tough at first, but only because she knows what she wants and how to get it. She is gorgeous; tall, model-esque with long blonde wavy hair and has the most beautiful violet blue eyes you have ever seen."

"Sounds like Emmett's kind of woman." I laughed, Alice did too.

"They are perfect for each other. I bet they'll even get married, I honestly would not doubt it."

"That's so crazy, it seems like only yesterday Emmett was the little boy with those giant dimples running around pulling pranks on everyone." I said, Alice laughed.

"That's because it _was_ only yesterday," she laughed, but also rolling her eyes.

"He hasn't changed a bit." I smiled.

"Not at all."

"So…speaking of relationships, do you have a special someone?" I teased; Alice gave me a big smile.

"As a matter of fact I do." She pridefully and happily replied.

"Tell me!" I squealed with excitement. Alice was never one to date, she always knew what she was looking for, but she never found it in Forks.

"His name is Jasper Hale. He is originally from Texas, but his family moved up to Alaska because his father was relocated, military stuff. He is the perfect southern gentleman," she smiled pleasantly; "I love him." She sighed happily.

"How long have you been together?" I asked curiously.

"We started dating about a month after I moved to Alaska. It was around the time when we stopped calling each other. All of a sudden there was another new kid in town besides me. There was an instant connection, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. It was like I was meant to meet him, I can't really describe it. It's so strange. I just knew he was the one, I could just see it, you know?" Alice explained, staring off to space as she dissected her feelings for Jasper.

"I understand." I said, thinking about the way I currently feel about Edward.

"Which leads me to why I am here." Alice suddenly said in a serious tone.

"Yes?" I asked surprised.

"What is going on with you?" She said, I was confused as to what she meant by that.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know Bella, you tell me. I just had a really bad feeling about you lately, like something has been going on with you. Are you okay?" Alice asked with a concerned face, I was shocked. How did she know things like that? It was so weird how in tune she was to people sometimes, Alice had always been like that, even when we were little. It was like she always knew what was going on with everything, and was almost always prepared for whatever was going to happen.

"How do you even know this?" I was stunned.

"Bella, I lied when I said I was visiting town. I'm not here because of that, I am here because I am worried about you." She looked at me with fear in her eyes, "Bella, I can't believe you never told me about what happened last year. You didn't answer my phone calls, nothing. I was worried about you. I talked to Jacob on the phone, he told me you were like the living dead, you were there, but yet you weren't. Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you talk to me?" Alice was freaking out, venting about the past year. I felt bad; I had lost a lot of relationships with friends after the accident. Most of them I had built back up again, but I had been so busy working on those that I never even tried to focus on my old best friend. I missed Alice and I felt horrible for neglecting our friendship.

"I'm sorry Alice. It was just really hard for me. I didn't talk to anyone. Every day was a nightmare for me. I couldn't handle it." I couldn't lie to Alice. If there was anyone in the world who could get me to say anything, it was her. She had some kind of friendship power over me. She knew when I was lying, she knew when there was something wrong, she knew me like the back of her hand. I was always able to let everything out with her, I could tell her anything and everything and never have to worry about it or feel like she was judging me.

"Bella, you know I would have been there for you. I would have gotten right on a plane and visited you, regardless if my parents let me or not, you know that. I could have helped you. You could have talked to me!" She seemed slightly frustrated now, but she was calming down. "I'm your best friend Bella. I know when something is up. And I am not here to talk to you about last year. I am here to talk to you about now."

"What do you mean?" I asked a little confused.

"Edward Cullen." She said, though she had a small smirk creeping on the side of her lips.

"How do you know about Edward?" I asked with incredulity.

"Bella, seriously? I moved to Alaska. The same place Edward just moved away from, I have known him for about three years now."

Wow. I guess I had never put two and two together. It was odd that Alice knew Edward, strange to believe. The thought of it was surreal; my best friend knew my... soul mate… lover… I don't know? I had no idea what to even classify Edward as. He wasn't my boyfriend, Jacob still possessed that title. But even if he was, that name didn't even satisfy what I thought Edward was to me. He was so much more than a boyfriend could ever be. He was so much more than any possible title could hold. He was the most amazing, spectacular, handsome, caring, protective boy I had ever met and I loved everything about him. The word boyfriend would not serve him justice.

"Oh, I never thought of that." I admitted to Alice. I hadn't thought of Alice in months. All I could think of was the pain I was in, the loss I felt, the love I had for Edward, and the inner conflict I was fighting with between Jacob and him. I knew I loved them both and I knew I loved Edward more, but I didn't want to hurt Jacob nonetheless. I just wasn't ready for it. It was like betraying your best friend. Someone who has always been there for you, someone who would take care of you, protect you, comfort you, everything. Jacob was a huge part of my life, and no matter how much I wanted Edward, it was still hard to let Jacob go, even though I knew I had to and even wanted to. It was just something that couldn't be done in a snap.

"Apparently," Alice mocked while shaking her head and rolling her eyes. "But tell me Bella. Tell me about Edward."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything. Jacob told me about you when you turned into a zombie about a month ago, which I believe wasn't the first time. He told me about Harry, but I am more concerned with what has been going on recently. Have you been having nightmares again? And what's the deal with Edward?"

"I really don't know how to tell you." I honestly didn't. Was I really about to tell her my most coveted secret. Was I really about to tell her of my dark angel and how I was in love with this fake being and Edward and Jacob all at the same time? I couldn't fathom the idea, yet I knew Alice was going to get it out of me somehow. She always did.

"It's ok Bella. Just start from the beginning." She assured.

"I'm going to sound crazy…."

"Bella, you already are crazy." She teased with a smirk. I rolled my eyes, but smiled back.

"Just tell me Bella. I will not think you are crazy or judge you. You are my best friend. You can tell me anything." She continued.

"Okay, well it really is a long story." Though I was sure I could sum it up pretty well.

"I have time." She said smiling and encouraging me to go on.

"Well, it all started about a month and a few weeks ago. I had a really horrid dream, but it was different. It wasn't the usual see a friend or family member die on the cliffs dream then I die myself. It was strange, and luckily there was no death." Alice looked at me with a strange look like she didn't quite understand, I quickly filled her in on the dreams I had right after the cliff accident.

"After the cliffs, I would have horrible dreams. Every night I would be watching someone I knew stand at the top of the cliffs. It would be Charlie or Jacob or Renee, anyone, and they would be standing there. Every time I saw them, they jumped into the water, plummeting to their own dreadful death. I would watch someone I loved die right in front of me. And not only did they die, but so did I. While I watched them basically kill themselves, I would be swimming against a current, struggling to stay alive myself. It was horrible, and in the end after watching whoever it was that night die, I would soon give up and drown in my own pursuit of survival."

Alice's face was stricken with horror and pity.

"The dreams felt so real too. I would be thrashing in my sleep, screaming at the top of my lungs, crying. No one could get me to calm down, no one. I was afraid and the nightmares were so vivid that I thought someone really had died. Charlie and Renee would never get sleep, always running into my room at the middle of the night scared because I was screaming bloody murder. It was like I was dying in a way, though in my dreams I really was. My life was dying. I would wake up so frightened and appalled that I would just go on with life like there was nothing. Like there was no point to anything.

"I didn't care. I kept good grades, but I didn't talk to anyone. I barely even spoke to Jake. He had no idea how to deal with it. I really was like a zombie. I was the living dead, walking the earth as if I had no soul. I was there, but yet I wasn't."

"That's terrible Bella." Alice commented, her eyes in shock.

"That's not even half the story either." Alice moved back a little, shocked, yet knowing that this was what she was waiting for. She knew there was much more to my story and I guess I was ready to finally tell it. I wasn't scared of letting her know. I was only scared of allowing myself to talk about my dark angel; it would only bring back memories of him and let the feeling of loss come alive again.

"I had those terrible dreams every night since Harry died; until that night, where I had the most sinisterly and sensationally odd dream of my life. It was still a nightmare in a way, but it was also eye opening and even remarkable.

"I was in the woods, it was night time and the moon was shining brightly. I looked to the light and saw Jacob. I smiled at him, my loving Jacob, but he really wasn't mine anymore. For some reason he looked at me as if he was saying goodbye. He had a sullen face on him, like he was sad to leave me, but he still wanted to nevertheless. I was afraid and had no idea what he was doing. Then he looked to his side. A girl walked in, though I couldn't see her face. She didn't stand in the moonlight like Jake did. She was in the dark, the shadows of the night, and her face was slightly blurry.

"He looked at her with such passion and love, a look he used to give me. Though with this girl, it was ten times stronger than I had ever seen before. I was jealous, and I was afraid. I thought 'Is he leaving me for this girl? But he can't do this to me. I love him, and he loves me.' I was so frightened, that I almost began to beg Jacob to not leave me. He was my heart.

"My body filled with so much pain. I was losing my Jacob. He had found his soul mate, his true love. Though I had thought we were supposed to be together forever. It didn't make sense to me. My heart sank and it burned with the pain that I was now feeling. Right when I was about to break down, another figure entered into the foreboding nightmare of mine. He was tall and lean looking, but just like the girl, he hid in the shadows of the trees and his face was also slightly blurry. I didn't know who this boy was, but right when I saw him, all the pain I had felt before had washed away in an instant. He healed me.

"Not only did the hurt go away, but I was filled with the most intense feeling of love that I had ever experienced in my entire life. I couldn't comprehend it, it was so strong. All I knew was that I was meant to be with him. We were two halves made into whole. He was my forever and I wanted him. There was an invisible force that made me gravitate towards him and I couldn't look away, even if I wanted to. I was entranced by the sensation.

"I completely forgot about Jacob, and the pain he was causing me. Jacob didn't matter anymore. His love was nothing compared to this new one. But right as I began to step to the mysterious boy and walk to where he was, Jacob jumped between us with the most disgusted and hateful look on his face. Right when they were about to fight, I woke up."

I was breathing heavily from telling that dream; it only reminded me of how much I did love my dark angel.

"That was an intense dream." Alice said; she looked like she was breathing heavily as well. "Please continue," she said and I gladly did.

"I woke up so confused. Somehow I felt guilty for having that dream, like I had committed a crime against Jacob. How could I have dreamt such a thing? How could I have forgotten him like that and moved on so quickly? But he did have that girl. He would be okay, I thought.

"For the next few weeks I began to dream of the boy, I called him my dark angel because he was perfect. He was mysterious and dark, I could not see his face and I had no idea who he was. He was an angel because he saved me, in so many different ways. He had my heart from the moment he stepped into the woods. Every night I would meet him in the most beautiful place I had ever seen in my entire life. It was a meadow, filled with flowers. There was a stream nearby and you could hear the soft sound of the water flowing downhill. You could hear animals in the distance, going on with their normal lives in peace. The meadow was the greatest place beyond imagine and I loved every moment of it."

Alice smiled at the description of the meadow, surely imagining herself there.

"It was always dark though. But the night in that place was magical. The stars were captivating and the moon was always shining. We would lie in the flowers together, staring into the night and watching as a glorious meteor shower would flash before our eyes. It was unbelievable, nothing like I had ever seen before."

I began to look frustrated as I started to speak the rest.

"We never touched though. There was a pulse of electricity that would rush through us when we were near each other. I had never felt anything like it before. Each dream I would get closer to him, 20 feet away, the next night 15, 10, then 5. We got closer and closer, but I never got close enough. I never saw his face, I never knew his name, and I never felt his touch. He was only a figment of my imagination, but he felt so real. To me he was everything, all my hopes and dreams combined into a living breathing person. He was everything I ever wanted, and everything I ever needed. The feelings in which I had for him, I can't even begin to explain. They are incredulous. And I know you probably think I am crazy Alice…"

"No I don't," Alice said genuinely. "Please. Continue."

"I began to argue with myself over my dark angel and Jacob. I kept telling myself that I had to forget him, because damn it, he wasn't real! I thought I was crazy, psycho for imagining such a person. But I couldn't stop, he was everywhere in my mind. I couldn't wait to go home and sleep, I couldn't wait to meet him in the beautiful meadow. He was the highlight of my day, even though it was at night that I saw him. I couldn't even fathom the possibility of letting him go, forgetting about him. I would not do it.

"Then one night I went to a bonfire with Jacob down at La Push. We took a walk together, talking and goofing around. Jacob lied on the ground and told me to lie next to him, I did. He then told me to look at the sky, and what I saw was the most extraordinary image in the world.

"What was it?" Alice asked with her eyes wide open, beaming at me for more.

"It was the meteor shower. The very same one I watched with my dark angel in the meadow. I couldn't believe my eyes, I was sure that I was going insane. I couldn't possibly believe. 'Is this really happening?' I kept asking myself. It was astonishing. Right then, I knew I couldn't leave my dark angel. I couldn't stop dreaming of him. He was becoming real! I saw the meteor shower, which Jacob told me only came around every 90 years or so. It was incredible! The _exact_ same shower, how? How could it have been possible? It was insane! I knew I couldn't ignore it, I had to believe.

"There was only one choice I had then. I had to accept both. I came up with this demented idea that I could basically have two relationships at once. My real relationship with Jacob, and my fake one with my dark angel. I would love Jacob during the day, and love the boy at night. I thought I could handle it, I thought I could do it.

"Then what happened?" Alice asked, entranced by my story.

"Then the unspeakable happened. One night, I dreamt of the meadow and he wasn't there. He was gone. I looked around, searching for him, but he was nowhere to be found. The meadow was different as well. It was dark and cold, sinister; the stars were not in the sky anymore. There was no moon, no light, no animals, and no water. The flowers were dead beneath my feet, wilted and ugly. The once beautiful meadow was now another nightmare in which I had to endure every time I went to sleep. It wasn't heaven anymore; it was some sick twisted hell, a world without my dark angel.

"There was however, a tiny little star in the sky. It was lit very dimly, small and fragile, struggling to shine across the sky. Its frail light made a shallow beam in the middle of the meadow. It was the only place that felt a little like before. It was my only hope, and I grasped it. Every night I had to be in that dark place, remembering how it once was beautiful, and how it once made me inexplicably happy. I would walk to that little ray of light, fall to the ground, and cry the entire dream. Nothing else would happen, just my sorrows being washed away into the dark night of what seemed like eternity."

Alice's face was depressed looking, she knew I had a rough time, and she felt horribly sad, but she said nothing. She waited for me to continue.

"The day before I dreamt of the black meadow where my dark angel was gone, I dreamt of him like any other night. Except the only difference was when we departed before I woke up. Usually, every night I would lie on the ground and so would he, the sun would begin to rise and he would leave before it would. He would stand and I would mirror him, watching him as his body, still in the shadows, would face me as if he was saying goodbye. Usually I was perfectly fine with him leaving, because I always knew that I would see him again the very next night. But in this dream, the night before he left, I had the worst feeling when he walked into the woods that morning. When he said his goodbyes, it felt like he really was saying goodbye, forever. It killed me to imagine him never returning.

"I woke up and freaked out, hoping that he would return the next night and that that was indeed not his final farewell. I couldn't live in a world where he didn't exist. He was everything to me. I now realized that that dream was foreshadowing the next night, where I did in fact not dream of him. Where I did in fact dream of a dark cold meadow with my dark angel nowhere in sight.

"The next morning I woke up angry and in shock. I yelled at myself asking 'where was he? What the hell was that? What just happened? _Where was he?_' I couldn't get a grip on myself. I couldn't. I was losing my mind; I was so angry that the pain hadn't even registered in my body yet. I kept telling myself 'he'll come back Bella, don't worry, he'll come back,' but in my mind, I knew that he wouldn't. I feared it with all my soul, but I knew that this was the end of him. I became depressed, and the pain of his loss began to take hold of me."

"I'm so sorry Bella." Alice's face was of distraught. I nodded to her and then continued on with my story.

"Ironically enough, the day I lost my dark angel was the day I met Edward Cullen." I began to give a weak smile and Alice smiled back.

"I was so sad that day; it was the first day without dreaming of him. I could barely even go to school I was so out of it. I barely talked to anyone, and I didn't pay attention to anything. The day was torture, until I saw him. He was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen in my entire life. He was perfect. His face was beautifully constructed and defined to the smallest detail. His body was wonderfully polished and clothes brilliantly designed. His eyes were two burning emeralds, brightly shining at me. I couldn't look away. I was entranced by him, and when he smiled. Oh my God Alice, it felt like my world was going backwards, flipping around, and spinning in circles. I was floating on a cloud, living in heaven when I saw him. He brought me back to life. He made me forget all the pain that I was in.

"I was perfectly fine when I was around him; I had no worries, only admiration and love. He helped me, he saved me. He still is saving me."

Alice smiled even more, comforted by the fact that I had some kind of happiness in my life.

"I looked forward to Biology every day after the first time I met him. He took me out to dinner a couple days later." Alice raised her eyebrows and I began to laugh.

"It was by chance really. I was at the library looking for a book to read, I needed to get my mind off of everything. That day was a horrible day. You see, Edward wasn't at school that day." Alice nodded her head in understanding then smirked a little.

"So without Edward, the pain was ten times worse. I couldn't think of anything but my dark angel, Edward missing, and what Mike Newton said before."

"Mike Newton, oh God. What did he say?" Alice asked worriedly.

"He told me that Edward was a player and that he hooked up with Jess, which by the way was a complete and utter lie."

"Jessica Stanley?" Alice asked amazed.

"Yes, Jessica Stanley. I know right? So Mike kept trying to push my buttons, and I finally had enough of it…. So I punched him."

"You did _what_?" Alice squealed out in shock.

"I punched him," I said with a smile. Alice's face was in disbelief, but also strangely proud.

"Hmm…good job Bella, I guess those lessons Charlie gave you on how to throw punches actually paid off."

"Yeah, I guess so." I laughed.

"Anyways…continue." Alice smiled, urging me to continue on with my story.

"Well like I said, I was at the library looking for a book. I couldn't find a single thing that interested me. I was definitely not in the mood for a romance novel, or an action, or mystery, or anything for that matter. Nothing satisfied my need. I was so disappointed that I was about to leave the library when I decided to try the last aisle. As I turned into the aisle, to my amazement I found what I wanted, though it wasn't a book. It was Edward."

"Uh oh." Alice teased.

"We went through that whole 'Bella? Edward?' conversation then he asked me out to dinner, just as friends of course. I said yes, and we took his car. He drove me to the neatest little café that I had never even been before. I lived in Forks all my life and I had no idea it even existed. It was amazing, the lighting, everything. I loved it. All we did was talk and talk and talk, we didn't even eat. I asked Edward why he wasn't at school that day and he told me that whenever it is sunny that his father always takes him and his family out to go hiking. Since Forks rarely gets sunny days." Alice nodded, knowing the limitations that Forks has when it comes to weather.

"We kept talking until I looked at a clock and realized how late it was. I told him I had to get going, though neither of us wanted to leave. At least, I knew that I didn't want to leave…Edward drove me back to the library where my car was parked and then said goodbye to me. But his goodbye was so intimate, without even being sexual. He has this weird ability to make my heart melt in an instant. He is irresistible."

"That's what every girl in Alaska thought too." Alice giggled.

"I bet they did. How could they not?" I agreed, "Did he have a girlfriend in Alaska?" I suddenly asked.

"No," Alice laughed. "He was more of a 'keep to himself,' kind of guy when it came to relationships." I was happy with that answer.

"Oh, he does seem like that. He is so perfect; I just couldn't see him with anyone, especially not me."

"Oh shut up Bella. You two are perfect for each other. Don't get me wrong, I like Jacob. We've always been friends, but I always knew you two weren't meant for each other. I just knew there was something better for you out there, and that you would eventually find it in your future. You were always meant to have something stronger and greater than what you have with Jacob. He was a good first love, but really Bella, this is so much bigger."

"I know Alice, I know. It's just hard. I can't seem to make the decision. I just don't want to hurt anyone. I know I want Edward and I know I am going to choose him. I just can't do it anytime soon."

"Well damn Bella; do you want me to do it for you? God, you know you can't keep going on like this forever."

"You're right, but really, it is so hard. Jacob has always been there for me. When my dark angel left, Jacob helped repair me, but he left scars. When Edward came, not only did he repair me, but he made me completely brand new. There was no sign that I even was hurt to begin with. I just can't seem to let Jacob go though. His family is basically my family. He's my best friend."

"But I've heard things have been bad lately. Ever since your 'dark angel,' left."

"Well yeah, it was a really hard time then. Jacob had no idea how to deal with me. If he tried to help, sometimes it only made it worse. There was nothing he could do, and it only made a dent into our relationship. He was losing me, and I was losing him. Finally one day he had enough and he let it all out, yelling at me and telling me he was done with the dead me. He wanted his Bella back, and it broke my heart to have to listen to him begging me to come back. I felt so bad that I tried my hardest to be happy again. It did help that Edward was around, that he helped me out of my dismal everyday routine and made me happy. It strengthened my relationship with him and Jacob, even though I probably shouldn't have my relationship growing stronger with Jake.

"I was living in a world of lies. Loving Jacob one moment, then spending time with Edward another. Shortly after Edward moved here, we were assigned partners in a science project. We began to work after school together, going to each other's house. It was more like getting to know each other than working, but I didn't complain, I wanted to get to know Edward.

"Did you know he wrote me a song on the piano?" I added.

"He did?" Alice asked surprised.

"Yes, and it is so beautiful too. He plays amazingly well."

"That is so strange." Alice said with her eyes filled with amazement. "He rarely writes songs unless they are for his family."

"Really?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah…you must really mean a lot to him Bella." She said. "Like a lot a lot." Could I really mean a lot to Edward? Could he possibly be in love with me like I am in love with him? Just the idea of it was astonishing. Edward, in love with me, how amazing would that be?

"I really hope so; I wouldn't want to give everything that I have up for nothing."

"You wouldn't be, I know Edward, and he would never do such a thing. I'm surprised he has even done this much so far. Since he has, then Bella, you mean a _big_ deal to him."

"We'll see, but he is so mysterious. He reminds me so much of my dark angel. You know how I said I would get that little shock of electricity when I was around my dark angel?"

"Yeah."

"Well, the first time I met Edward, I could have sworn I felt that same little jolt of electricity move through us. And I know he felt it too. I loved it and hated it at the same time, it made me think of the boy I had lost, but it made me remember how wonderful it was."

"That is really interesting… I find it especially interesting how he left the day Edward arrived. It's like fate, as if it was meant to be. I wonder if it means something, like Edward is your dark angel." I was shocked, but stuck in thought. What if that was true? I had never really thought of that idea before, but I found it really interesting. It couldn't be though, could it? No….

"I've never really thought of that, but that's a really interesting idea." I told Alice. We were both hard in thought.

"Have you met Renesmee?" She asked me.

"Yes, I have. She is just like Edward, beautiful and perfect. She's actually one of the reasons me and Jacob got into a fight last night."

"You got into a fight about Renesmee? Why?" Alice was shocked again.

"Well, apparently Jacob has been working with Renesmee secretly on a project in school for the past month, and never told me. Though I secretly knew about it, and purposely didn't tell him about Edward because he didn't tell me about Renesmee. He confronted me about it yesterday after Paul made some comment about him dancing with Renesmee."

"Dancing with Renesmee?"

"Yeah! It pissed me off, but I know Jacob didn't cheat on me or anything. He wouldn't do such a thing. I mean, come on, its Jake we're talking about."

"Yeah, but Bella, you never know…." She sighed out.

"Are you mad at Renesmee?" Alice asked.

"No, not really. I mean, if I want to be able to break up with Jacob, I'd rather him be falling in love with someone and not be hurt because of me. I want him to be happy, and I want him to move on."

Alice's eyes opened up really wide as if she had just discovered something incredible. "Bella, what if Renesmee was the girl in your dream that Jacob was in love with?"

"That would be very surprising. Out of all your ideas, I would have never thought of that one."

"Think about it Bella! Your dark angel left once Edward arrived, the meteor shower actually happened, and Renesmee has been hanging out with Jacob, it all makes sense."

"I don't know Alice. That all just seems a little bizarre, a little on the crazy side. Though all my life is, is being crazy. It's just… so odd….if it was true, then my dreams really are becoming reality. That is so much to take in."

"I know it really is, but it makes perfect sense." She said, "…So what are you going to do Bella?"

"I really don't know Alice, I really don't know." I was so confused and shaking my head in frustration.

"I wish it was all easy for you. I know it must be so hard. You've been through so much in that past year, and I am so sorry for that. I wish I could have been there for you." Alice looked sad and I felt bad.

"Thanks Alice, I've really missed talking to you. You always know how to make me feel better and help me out. I can always tell you everything. I've kept this all a secret for so long, and it feels so good to finally be able to talk about it with someone."

"You know you can always talk to me about anything. I am so sorry about those dreams though, you losing your dark angel and having to enter that dark cold meadow every night. It must be horrible."

"It really is. He was my future, and now he is my past, and I miss seeing him in my dreams every day. The pain is still there, dormant at times, but still waiting for its chance to rise up again and control my life. Edward's kept it asleep; he's killing it, fighting it away. I forget all the troubles I have when I am with him. I forget about all the bad things in my life, I only think of him and how much of my heart he has. I love him so much, and sometimes I think it is too much."

"I just hope you are able to make the decision and not hurt yourself in the process. I'm sure Jake will be okay, because if my theory is right, then his 'dark angel' is already here, waiting for him…and so is yours" She said smiling.

"Maybe." I replied.

Though Alice's idea seemed pretty spot on. I couldn't help but imagine it being true. What if Edward really was my dark angel? It would explain a lot of things most definitely. It would explain the tingling sensation, the electricity that went between us. It would explain how he healed me perfectly and why that area in my heart felt the same as my dark angel's. It would explain why I loved Edward just like my dark angel. Maybe they were in fact the same person. Then all of my grieving was for nothing, because I had him with me all along. I was annoyed by that thought, I wasted so many weeks being a zombie for nothing then.

"Does Jacob know you're here?" I asked Alice. She said she had talked to him on the phone, so maybe he knew this whole time that she was coming.

"Oh no, I came here last minute on a whim after thinking about you and how worried I was. I just called him to see how you were and get the 411." She replied.

"Oh, ok… how long are you staying?" I wondered, hoping it wouldn't be anytime soon.

"I'm not sure yet," she replied.

"Well you are more than welcome to stay here for as long as you'd like," I told her with a smile.

"Like I needed your permission or invitation," Alice scoffed and we laughed together.

My life felt like it was finally coming together again. I was most of the time happy, and my old best friend was back. I had missed Alice so much and I was so glad she was finally back in my life.

"Alice?"

"Yes?" She replied; she was now lying on my bed staring at the ceiling.

"What is Alaska like?"

"Cold." She said.

"No," I laughed, "tell me about it."

"Well, it's a magical place. Like winter wonderland. We live in igloos and go ice fishing. Every day I swim with penguins and live off of whale blubber."

"Shut up Alice." I scoffed then hit her on the arm. She laughed.

"It's beautiful. Majestic, bright, wonderful. Everything I wanted it to be, minus you not being there, it is perfect. It brought me to the love of my life. It brought Emmett to the love of his life, and it brought you the love of your life."

She smiled at the ceiling, and I smiled too while looking up as well.

"Alaska has a way with uniting souls. It brings people together. It is a place where we meet our other halves, where our lives begin, and our dreams come true. I love Alaska and its wintry wonderland, so beautiful and magical that anything can happen."

"It sounds wonderful." I said in a daze.

"It really is Bella. It really is. You'll have to visit sometime. You would love it."

"I'm sure I would," I replied.

"Oh Alaska, how I miss it so." Alice sighed; we both began to laugh.

"Don't you mean 'Oh Jasper, how I miss it so?'" I laughed to her. She nodded and continued to laugh.

We lied in silence for a little while, then I finally asked Alice another question.

"Alice?" I asked, but I didn't get an answer. I looked at her and saw that her eyes were closed. She was asleep.

I mumbled my question anyways, as if I was thinking aloud to myself. "Does Edward love me?"

I rolled over to reach for my lamp and turned the light off. I closed my eyes and began to slowly fall asleep. But before I was completely unconscious, I heard a slight murmur from where Alice was.

"Yes."

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**A/N: So what did you think? Did you like it, hate it, love it?**

**Do you have a favorite line or quote from the story or this chapter? Share your thoughts with me, I would love to know!**

**So I am sure many of you are excited for the return of Alice, as am I. And who knows what is going to happen! There might be many tricks up my sleeve, we'll see. ;) **

**And we definitely need to get some Edward in the next chapter, he hasn't been in it for two chapters straight, which is definitely not fine with me! I miss my Edward, what about you guys? **

**So the next chapter will be out probably next weekend, I haven't started it yet, and I don't have a specific direction for the chapter anyways. So hopefully I will get right on that. lol**

**But, more reviews would definitely be a big motivation and inspiration kicker to get me writing! So help me out if you want a quick update!**

**Remember...REVIEW!**

**Thank you!**


	16. The Discovery

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: Are you ready for chapter 16? I know I am! I have been waiting to post this chapter since I began writing this story. It was always going to be in here, and I am SO happy that I can finally add it. **

**I especially like this chapter, it just reveals more awesomeness that I have been waiting to reveal for a very long time! Make sure you write a review and tell me what you think!**

**Special thanks to wannabealicebrandon for helping with the beta reading for this chapter :)**

**I hope you enjoy ;)**

* * *

My Dark Angel

Chapter 16

_The Discovery_

"Bella," I heard as I felt nudging against my arm, "Bella."

I slowly opened my groggy eyes and found Alice bumping her hand against my arm, trying to wake me up.

"Hey," I said softly while rubbing my sleepy eyes.

"How did you sleep last night?" She asked.

"The usual, same dead meadow as every night." Alice looked sad.

"Sorry Bella," She said with pity.

"It's okay, I'm actually getting used to it." I replied. "Of course it still sucks, but at least it's not getting any worse."

"Yeah, that's definitely good. I honestly don't know how you do it Bella. You are so strong, it amazes me." I laughed at her comment, I personally thought I was weak and pathetic.

"Thanks, I try to be. I really can't be weak when my world is so crazy and twisted. I have to keep it together or else I will seriously lose it."

"I can only imagine." Alice replied.

We both got out of bed and walked downstairs to eat breakfast. Charlie was out of the house, presumably fishing with Billy, and Renee was in the living room watching one of her Yoga tapes and working out to that.

I grabbed two bowls from the cupboards while Alice grabbed some cereal from the pantry.

"Good morning girls," Renee called from the living room, stretching and bending in all sorts of odd positions.

"Good morning," Alice and I said in unison as I poured the cereal into the bowls and she retrieved the milk from the fridge.

Renee went back to her exercise, saying no more. Alice and I sat down at the table and began to eat.

"So what are your plans for the day Alice?" I asked her while taking a spoonful of my cereal.

"I was actually thinking about stopping by at Edward's, you know, catch up with his family."

"That sounds nice," I mumbled, I wanted to go, but I didn't want to intrude and invite myself.

"You should come along; I bet Edward would love to see you." She said with a grin. I smiled, _yes, invited._

"I don't want to intrude…" I said, attempting to sound polite.

"Oh don't worry; they would love to see you."

"Alright, I'll go." I tried to hide my smile, but it was too hard.

"Wonderful, what time should we leave then?" Alice asked excited.

"Hmm… I don't know. Whenever you're ready I guess. It's about 10:00 right now; I think we should wait a little bit. You never know if Edward and Renesmee are still sleeping, they are teenagers of course."

"Oh right, how about 12:00 then?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, that sounds reasonable." I told her, "Should we call first?"

"That might be a good idea, unless we wanted to surprise them…" Alice went off.

"Maybe," I laughed, "But I don't know."

Just then, the telephone began to ring.

"Bella, can you please answer that?" Renee called in from her work out.

I quickly got up from my seat and walked to the phone, grabbing the receiver and answering the call.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey Bella, its Edward."

"Oh hey Edward!" I said with joy, looking at Alice as she smirked at me.

"I was just wondering if you would like to come over today, I have something to show you." He told me in his beautiful voice.

"Yeah, that would be perfect actually. I have a surprise for you anyways." I smiled.

"Oh do you now?" He said and I could picture him with his gorgeous crooked smile. I began to blush and was thankful he wasn't here to see it.

"Yes," I said laughing.

"Great, what time would be good for you?" he asked.

"Anytime is fine," I said.

"How about 12:00?" He asked.

"Sure, that sounds good, I'll see you soon then."

"Alright, I'll see you then."

"Okay, bye Edward." I replied, my heart fluttering with excitement.

"Bye Bella," he said in the sexiest tone I had ever heard. His voice kept ringing in my ears.

I hung up the phone and sat back down by Alice, falling into the seat with butterflies in my stomach.

"You seem happy," Alice commented. I smiled and looked at her.

"That's because I am."

"Well what did he want?" Alice asked impatiently.

"He invited me over to his house today; he has something to show me." I replied. Alice smirked again.

"Hmm… I wonder what that could be," she teased.

"Ironically enough, he told me to be there at 12:00, just like we were planning,"

Alice laughed and I joined her. I was so happy; I was going to spend Saturday with Edward and Alice, my current two favorite people in the whole world.

"Bella?" Renee called.

"Yes?"

"Who was that?" she wondered.

"Just a friend, Alice and I are going to leave around 12:00 to go to their house."

"Alright, I have to leave in about an hour anyways to get some groceries. Anything in particular that I need to pick up?"

"No, I'm good, thanks."

"Alright, well you two have fun." She yelled.

"Thanks," I replied.

"We will!" Alice added. Then elbowed me in the ribs and laughed. I glared at her but laughed too.

"Well we need to get ready!" she yelled to me, "We have two hours to turn you into the most beautiful girl Edward has ever laid eyes on!" Alice bolted from her seat and grabbed my hand. We quickly ran upstairs. _Oh god_, I thought to myself.

Alice was known for her fashion sense and makeovers. When we were little, she used to put make up on me, dress me up, and even cut my hair as if I was her own life size Barbie. Though the cutting didn't work out so well, the other two worked out perfectly. Alice had an eye for fashion, and she was very good at it. She could make the most hideous look the most beautiful. She truly had a gift.

As we entered my room, Alice rushed to my closet and threw clothes everywhere; looking for an outfit that she thought would suit me.

"God Bella, do you have _any_ sexy clothes?"

"Guess not." I laughed, Alice looked completely frustrated.

She suddenly stumbled upon a top that she kept staring at, instead of discarding it like the others; she kept looking at it then handed it to me. It was a dark blue eyelet lace blouse; I had worn it a few times, but not that many. It was one of the few pretty tops in my closet. The clash of the dark blue against my light pale skin was striking.

"Put this on." She said pointing to it, then she handed me a pair of blue jeans.

"Jeans?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes and nodded.

"Who knows what his surprise could be Bella, you need to be able to move around in any condition. Jeans for flexibility and casual places, the pretty blue blouse for nicer places. You need to be prepared."

I nodded my head at Alice. I was still recovering from telling her about my dark angel, my most coveted secret and the meadow, the beautiful place I used to dream of. I wasn't what you would say, normal today. I was worried about going to Edward's, nervous and anxious, and I was thinking a lot about that movie I had seen yesterday.

Could that really happen in my case? I didn't know how I could move on if something were to happen to Edward or Jacob. They were both special to me. No one would truly understand the position I was in, unless they were actually in it. I know I probably seem selfish, but that's only what others think. I know I am delaying my decision to pick one, but when I do, someone is going to be completely heart broken and demolished. And having to be the one to make someone like that is absolutely devastating. I don't want to lose Jacob as a friend and I know he will be in so much pain once I let go of him. I just can't stand to do it. He deserves better than that. No one deserves that, to lose the one they love, no one.

"Okay, so now that you are dressed, let's move on to the makeup and hair. God only knows how long that one is going to take." Alice began.

"Shut up Alice," I said while rolling my eyes, she just laughed and pushed me into the bathroom.

"Hmm… what to do," she said while examining my face and hair. "I think we should go with a more natural look today."

"I agree," I said to Alice, hoping she wouldn't make me look completely ridiculous.

I sat in my bathroom on the toilet seat while she applied make up to my face and fixed my hair. I didn't quite pay attention; I was so bored that I actually fell asleep.

What seemed like a few minutes later, Alice nudged me to wake up and open my eyes.

"Bella, come look in the mirror," She said. I obeyed and sat up, turning to face the mirror. It honestly wasn't that bad. I looked very natural and vibrant. She had made my chocolate brown eyes pop and my hair shine with radiance. I didn't look half bad. Plus, my skin color with the dark blue blouse looked rather flattering on me. My skin looked more radiant than ever. My hair was down in soft curls, close to my natural hair but neater and prettier.

"Well…what do you think?" Alice impatiently asked with a smile playing on her face.

"Not bad," I said in a chipper tone. Alice grinned.

"Okay well it's about 11:00 now. I need to get myself ready, so you go do whatever while I get dressed."

"Alright," I told her while leaving the bathroom and heading to my room.

I decided to look over some Biology work while Alice got ready to head over to the Cullen's. It was such a strange thought knowing that I had Alice with me. I hadn't seen her in forever and it made me realize how much I missed her and how much a part of me was missing. My best friend had come back, and I was more than happy with that fact.

It was about 11:45 and I knocked on the bathroom door.

"Alice, we need to get going or we'll be late." I called to her.

"Just one more minute!" She shouted from the bathroom.

"Hurry! I'll be downstairs," I called then headed down to the living room.

I was impatient with Alice at the moment. She always took forever to get ready. The clock was ticking and I would soon be late to Edward's if I didn't leave any moment.

Finally I heard Alice running downstairs. She moved so gracefully as she hurried to where I was, she was always so graceful and pretty. She was also dressed up as if she was about to go on a date. She rarely dressed down.

"It's about time," I commented while heading for the front door.

"Oh be quiet, what about fashionably late?" She snickered.

"It doesn't work that way Alice." I laughed.

"Uh, whatever Bella," She said, knowing she would lose the little verbal battle between me and her.

We jumped into my truck and I quickly sped to Edward's house.

"I wonder what his house here looks like," Alice said while staring out the window.

"It is amazing," I remarked, remembering the first time I was there and how beautiful it was.

She smiled, "I bet it is, you should have seen the house they had up in Alaska. In-cred-ible." She emphasized.

A few minutes later I pulled into his never ending driveway.

"This driveway is as long as their old one," she commented.

We kept driving until we finally reached his house, the white, giant, beautiful creation.

"Wow." Alice said. I nodded in amazement, still looking at it made my breath catch short.

"So beautiful," Alice mumbled. We both began to head for Edward's front door.

I knocked on the door and half a second later it opened.

"Bella, how nice to see you," Esme said as she opened the door and gave me a hug.

"It is nice to see you too," I replied pleasantly. Esme was so sweet and I really enjoyed seeing her again. She then released me and looked at the guest I brought.

"Alice?!" She asked with joy, Alice looked at her with a giant smile on her face.

"Hey!" She responded.

"Oh Alice! What a wonderful surprise! I've missed you so much dear!" Esme said as she brought Alice into a loving embrace.

"As have I," Alice said with a smile.

"Edward! Renesmee! Carlisle!" She softly chimed in the house.

All three of them walked in at the same time, all looking beautiful and perfect.

"Alice?" Renesmee and Carlisle asked confused but happy.

"Alice!" Edward said happily with a smile on his face. "What are you doing here?"

He gave Alice a hug then looked at her as if she was hiding some giant secret.

"I came to visit Bella," She responded.

"Oh right, you told us you used to live in Forks, how could I forget?" Carlisle smiled; Alice gave him a smile back.

"I haven't seen Bella in a while, and I missed you guys so I thought it was time for a visit." She simply stated.

"Indeed it was," Carlisle replied.

"I am so glad you and Bella are here," Esme said. Alice and I smiled at her.

"What a wonderful surprise," Edward said, looking in my direction.

Edward then looked at me with an innocent smile on his face. He looked so beautiful. He was wearing an emerald green shirt that matching perfectly with his eyes and a pair of blue jeans and some brown boots that looked like hiking boots. They fitted him perfectly. He looked like he was about to go play outside, but what was so special about outside? It was most likely raining, though I didn't take time to notice the weather conditions today. I had too much on my mind.

"Anyways," Edward eased in, "I'm taking Bella somewhere. Alice you can stay here and catch up with my family." He nodded to her.

"It would be my pleasure," she joyfully said, Renesmee's face lit up and so did Esme's and Carlisle's.

"I have so many questions for you," Carlisle said. "Where shall we begin?" He asked while escorting Alice and the rest of his family to another room.

"Have fun you two," Esme said while following Carlisle and Alice.

"Thank you," I said to her. Alice turned around and winked at me; I rolled my eyes but smiled.

"You ready?" Edward asked.

"Yes, so what's this all about again?" I asked, wondering what we were going to do.

"I want to show you something," Edward smiled then grabbed my hand and led me to his car.

"Oh, right. Where are we going?" I asked with curiosity and confusion.

"That's something for me to know and for you to find out." Edward said with his cheeky grin. I must have looked nervous because then Edward added, "Just a walk," he assured me innocently.

"Okay," I replied hesitantly.

"Trust me," he looked at me and showed his beautiful crooked smile that I have come to adore. I smiled and a sudden feeling of relief fell over me. I trusted him.

We entered Edward's Volvo and drove off into Forks.

"So how far away is this place?" I asked frantically looking around at my surroundings trying to figure out where we were heading. We were driving down unfamiliar roads, watching as forest after forest passed by.

"It's not too far from here." He replied with a smirk, noticing my nervousness again.

"Okay." I replied, "I sure hope you're not trying to murder me," I said sarcastically. Edward just laughed and kept on driving.

"It's beautiful out today isn't it?" Edward stated, pleased by it. I looked out the window and for the first time finally noticed that today was indeed a beautiful day. I had been so out of it lately that I didn't even realize how beautiful it looked. The sky was a brilliant light shade of blue, the sun was shining brightly above, and there were only a few perfectly white and fluffy clouds floating by. Yes, today was a beautiful day, and I was glad Edward pointed it out, or else I would have missed it entirely.

We drove for a few more miles then Edward began to slow down by what seemed like a hiking trail.

"Hiking?" I asked as I got out of the car and he did the same.

"Yes," he smirked. I sighed, and then started to head for the hiking trail. Thank god Alice put jeans on me.

"No Bella," Edward laughed. "We aren't taking the trail."

I stopped in my tracks then looked at him confused.

"Oh." I replied.

"Trust me," he said again. His face was a deep gorgeous expression. I couldn't help but trust him.

"I do."

He then grabbed my hand and led me into the woods.

"Don't let go, I'm very clumsy." I said, watching every step I took, afraid I would fall and get scratched up all over.

Edward chuckled, "Don't worry, I won't." I smiled and he flashed his beautiful crooked grin again. My heart fluttered and we kept on walking.

We walked for a good ten minutes before I asked Edward how much longer.

"Just a few more minutes," he looked at me grinning, "We are very close."

"Remember the few days that I wasn't at school?" He suddenly asked.

"Yes," How could I not? Those days were horrible with him gone. I could barely function.

"And you remember how I told you my dad takes me and the family hiking whenever it is sunny here?"

"Yes?" I didn't quite understand the point he was trying to make.

"Well, I found something, I keep coming back to it, and I want to share it with you." He said beautifully. "No one knows about it but me, and now you."

Just then, we stopped walking and I looked away from Edward's face. We were suddenly in the outskirts of a clearing. I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was a meadow in which I stood in, a meadow of such immense beauty that I had to be dreaming. Only I wasn't. This was real. It wasn't just a beautiful meadow; it was the meadow of my dreams, the meadow _in_ my dreams. It was the place I would always escape to with my dark angel. It was our secret place. He would find me here and everything would be ok. We would spend our time here in the night and lay in the flowers together. Oh how sweet the flowers were, their soft petals brushing along my skin as we laid in the lush green grass. The beauty of the Tiger lilies and the warm scent of the honeysuckle surrounded me. We were surrounded by Willows and Wintergreens of all heights. The roses were in bloom and their fragrance was overwhelming. I could hear a nearby stream as its water rushed through its course. I was at complete peace with myself and my surroundings. I didn't want to move. I closed my eyes and soaked it all in, inhaling its sweet aroma and breathing in the sweet air. It was even better than how I dreamed it. _My dreams are real._ They must be. This place that has haunted me has come to life. I know it's real, I am here. This moment was completely surreal. Everything in my life lately was questionable, everything I lived for, everything I felt and knew was uncertain. But this, this place changed everything.

I felt a sudden sadness; this place that I have come to love was incomplete. My dark angel was not here to share this moment with me. I looked hopeful for a second, looking all around me, to search for the slightest evidence that he had been here, or that he was here, running into the middle of the clearing. I found nothing. I was all alone. I walked towards the middle of the meadow while Edward stayed on the outside. I began to lay in the beauty of my new founded reality. I laid in the center curled up around the flowers. I clutched a few in my hands as I began to cry from the overwhelming feelings inside me, trying to forget the pain and disappointment but also relishing in the discovery.

I could feel his presence all around me. It filled my every aching bone and I inhaled him into my lungs. My dark angel was here, but I could not see him. There was no dark figure. There was no beauty, no comfort. There was only Edward. It was only Edward and his special beauty.

There he was in the meadow, the sun beams shining brightly on his beautiful green eyes and his beautiful face. It was so perfect it could only have been carved from an angel; just looking at it could make my heart stop in an instant. He looked to me and I was stunned. His face, his teeth, his lips, my desire for him grew to such an extent that I thought I would burst.

"Bella!" he yelled in a frightened voice, I realized what I was doing and quickly tried to collect myself. Edward must have thought I was crazy. He quickly paced to my side as I slowly lifted myself from the ground.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that," I said as I wiped tears from my eyes.

"Bella, what is wrong?" he asked, he was completely worried about me. I couldn't tell him, but I couldn't lie to him either.

"This just reminds me of a place," I said trying to even out my breathing and stop the sobs, "it hurts to remember," I admitted. He looked at me with understanding.

"Does this have any relation to how you've been acting around everyone and the story you told me?" He asked; he was very observant. It was half true but I nodded and he nodded in return.

"I'm sorry, we should leave, I didn't know…" he said but I interrupted.

"No its okay, please don't apologize." As much as I wanted to leave the meadow, I couldn't. It was so beautiful, and it was real! I wasn't only dreaming of it, I was now living it. First the meteor shower, now the meadow. It was so surreal; I couldn't quite get a hold of the situation. I wanted to scream with pain and I wanted to cry of happiness all at the same time.

"This place is so beautiful," I whispered, he gave me a half smile that did not reach his eyes. He still looked very concerned.

"Edward, can we just sit here for a while?" I asked, still trying to collect myself.

"Of course," he said. We sat down together staring at the meadow. I lied down and so did he.

It felt so strange, so odd lying in the meadow with Edward. The electricity was unbelievably strong and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

What if Alice was right? What if her theory was not wrong at all? What if Edward was my dark angel? The idea was absolutely enthralling. I couldn't believe. All this time and Edward might be him? How could this have happened?

I couldn't get a grip on the feelings that were rushing through me at the moment. I was in shock; I had finally found the meadow. It seems as if my dreams were really coming true. The magic of it was astonishing. First I dreamt of my dark angel, and then I lost him. Then the meteor shower came true, now the meadow. The only thing that was missing was the mysterious boy, but if Alice was right, then he had been here this whole time. I couldn't escape the idea that Edward could be him. I couldn't let it out of my hand. It was a real possibility now and I wanted to believe it so much.

Edward as my dark angel.

It felt like a slight revelation. We just lied together, while the sun shined brightly on us. It was perfectly spring and all the flowers were beautifully blossomed. The smells were intoxicating and I could hear the rush of the water flowing downstream. Butterflies were flying across the flowers around us and birds were singing their glorious hymns. Everything was exactly like it was in my dream, but this time it was in the day and not the night.

It was just as beautiful as I could have imagined, tiny glimmers of light flickered along the spot where Edward lied. The sunbeams shining brightly on him looked so beautiful I couldn't bear to look away. I closed my eyes and imagined this moment never ending. I was filled with a tiny glow of hope, and wondered if my dreams would be any different tonight. I kept thinking and day dreaming life with Edward as my dark angel and how wonderful it would be. We both stared at the clouds and just laid in the meadow completely at peace. I closed my eyes for a little while to dream and think.

"Bella," Edward whispered to me and I opened my eyes, it was darker than before I closed my eyes, the sun was beginning to set.

"What time is it?" I asked shocked.

"It's almost 6:00, you've been sleeping for hours." He said with a soft chuckle.

I sat up in an instant looking completely disoriented.

"Why didn't you wake me up?!" I asked. He began to laugh even more.

"I didn't want to disturb you, you looked so peaceful Bella." He smiled.

I tried to remember what I was thinking about, but I couldn't.

"But we need to head back; it's going to get dark soon." Edward said.

He stood up then held out a hand for me. I grabbed it and he pulled me up.

"Thanks," I said, he didn't let go of my hand. Instead he looked at me then asked me a question.

"You ready to go?" He asked with a deep musical tone. I looked around, the meadow was beginning to glimmer and shine with the falling sun. I didn't want to leave it. I was afraid that if I left it, I would never see it again. I didn't want to lose it. I didn't want to have only imagined the meadow. It was real, and if I left, I was afraid it would disappear and become only a figment of my imagination.

Edward must have caught my sudden desperation.

"It's okay Bella, I promise we'll come back again." I gave him a trusting smile then nodded my head.

He led me towards the direction that we came in. We walked for a little while, though our pace was faster than before.

"Almost there," Edward said a couple minutes later.

"Good, I'm pretty tired." I said, Edward laughed.

"Really? After that really long nap?" He asked. I laughed too.

"Yeah, I guess I am." Edward chuckled again.

"Here we are," he said as we finally reached a breach through the woods and I saw his shiny silver Volvo peeping through the few branches ahead of us.

"Thank God." I sighed with relief. Edward smiled then opened the door for me as we walked to it.

I sat inside while he walked over to the driver's side.

"That was really beautiful Edward, thank you for taking me." I said.

"Of course Bella. I'm glad you liked it. I'm really sorry about…"

"It's okay Edward, I'm sorry I let my emotions catch up with me."

"You don't need to apologize, Bella," he said then laid his right hand onto mine. I looked into his eyes and he was staring at me with the deepest expression that I could have only thought of as love. I smiled and he gave me the most sympathetic and heartwarming smile I had ever seen him give. I blushed and he smiled even more.

He looked away then, and turned the car on.

"Time to see Alice," he chuckled.

"Right," I laughed.

"So are you two like best friends?" I asked him curiously.

"She was my Alaskan best friend," he grinned.

"She was my Forks best friend," I said, smirking back at Edward. He laughed and kept driving.

We finally pulled into his driveway.

"We're here," he softly whispered, and I opened my eyes. I must have dosed off without even knowing. I looked at Edward and he was smiling at me like always.

He quickly got out of the car and opened my door. We were welcomed by Alice jumping out of the front door to me and Edward.

"Hey there! You two are finally home!" She said. I laughed as she gave both of us a hug.

"Hey Alice," I said.

All three of us walked inside back to the Cullen's house where we were greeted by Esme, Carlisle, and Renesmee.

"Did you kids have fun?" They asked with smiles on their faces.

"Yeah," I said, but then I forgot what to say. Was I supposed to tell them where we went if they asked? I remembered Edward told me that I was the only one other than him that knew about the meadow. I didn't know what to say if they were to ask.

"We had fun, we went to the park." Edward suddenly covered. I felt a load of relief as he said that. It was like he was reading my mind and the worry of trying to figure out what to say.

"I bet that was fun," Esme said sweetly. "I love going to the park."

"As do I," Carlisle added. He smiled lovingly at Esme and she replied with the same look. They looked perfect together, like two pieces of a puzzle. They belonged together, perfect in every possible way. I only hoped that I looked like that with Edward.

I wanted to be with my soul mate. I wanted to love and be loved in return. I hoped that Edward was the one that I could do this. I hoped he was my other half, my other piece of the puzzle. I loved him no doubt, and deep down I knew he was the one.

He was a vision, he was my destiny. I knew it was only a matter of time before he would confront me about our relationship. I had to be prepared for when it did finally come. I also knew that I had to be prepared for the confrontation from Jacob, _that_ conversation I could hold off on for a while. I was afraid to tell him that I loved Edward and that I loved Edward more than him. He would be devastated, completely hurt beyond repair. I wished that Renesmee was his true love, so that he would be healed, just like I had been healed with Edward.

Jacob deserved something wonderful, someone wonderful, and I was sure Renesmee could be that special someone for him.

It was still a tough decision for me; his love would soon be only a memory to me. All of those years with him, trashed in a matter of minutes. I tried to block out those difficult thoughts, but they just kept creeping back into my mind.

"It was nice seeing everyone, but Bella and I have to get going," Alice suddenly said.

"Oh, okay dear, I hope we will see you again sometime soon." Esme said while giving Alice a hug. We both said goodbye to everyone and for the first time, Edward gave me a hug goodbye. It felt so intimate and loving. It was one of the best hugs I had ever had in my entire life. The electrical currents were rushing between us. I couldn't bear to let go, but I did. When we separated, I looked at Edward's face and he was grinning. I blushed and he touched my cheek like he always did.

"Bye Bella," he whispered.

"Bye Edward," I replied then walked out of the house just as Alice was doing.

We headed to my truck and quickly hopped in.

"Oh. My. God. Bella…Tell. Me. Everything." Alice said as we began driving away. I looked at her and smiled.

"I have _so_ much to tell you."

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**A/N: So what did you think? Good chapter? I think so.**

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**I think this was a big turning point for the story. She discovered the freaking meadow! come on! That is huge! Oh man, in the next few chapters, you guys finally get what you have been waiting for. The climax of the story. UH OH! I don't know if it will be in the NEXT chapter, but it will DEFINITELY be soon. Get excited! I know I am! Finally! **

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	17. Kiss

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: I am soooo sorry this took about a week and a half for me to write. **

**I had been super busy this entire time and could not get any writing done. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait. I love it, so enjoy!**

**Review!**

* * *

My Dark Angel

Chapter 17

_Kiss_

"Bella! That is incredible! I can't believe that happened!" Alice shouted while we were in the car driving back to my house after I told her what had happened with Edward and the meadow.

"I know! I am still in shock; I can't believe he brought me to the meadow. I can't believe it actually exists!" I replied with almost as much enthusiasm.

"How did it feel, seeing it and knowing that it is real?" Alice asked in amazement.

"Well, I was in complete shock. I didn't know what to think. I was happy and I was sad, I was confused and I was angry. There were a million emotions running through me Alice, it was so crazy."

"I can only imagine…. What did you do?" She asked, and I got a little embarrassed at the question.

"I cried." I told her. Alice raised an eyebrow.

"You cried?" She asked taken aback.

"Yeah, the meadow was so beautiful; I hadn't seen its beauty in such a long time that I couldn't control my emotions. I lied down in the middle and began to cry, just like in my dreams. When I was there, it reminded me of my dark angel and how I had lost him. The pain came back with a new sting and I cried even more when I realized that he wasn't there."

"But Edward was there."

"Yeah, he was, but we still don't know for sure that Edward is my dark angel. That is just some crazy hypothesis that you came up with."

"Bella… all of this is crazy, but it's happening. You have to believe. You honestly cannot tell me that Edward is not your dark angel."

"I don't know Alice. It felt like he was there in the meadow, that he was all around me, but I couldn't see him. I only saw Edward, but maybe that meant something."

"Uhhh….yeah! That it's Edward."

I rolled my eyes and Alice rolled hers as well.

"Face the facts Bella." She said.

"I'm trying Alice. Really, I am. I just need more proof."

We drove in silence for another minute or so until we finally pulled into my driveway.

"I just hope you finally make the decision." Alice said quietly as I put my truck into park.

"What decision?" I asked.

"You know, Edward or Jacob."

"Oh right, _that_ decision." I said with a frustrated expression on my face.

We both exited my car and then walked into my house. Charlie was sitting on the sofa watching a game and Renee was around the house somewhere.

"Hey you two," Charlie said from the living room, not moving his eyes from the T.V. screen.

"Hey dad," I said.

"Hi Charlie!" Alice said happily. She was always quite fond of him; he was like a second father to her.

"Where's mom?" I asked.

"Oh she's out and about, roaming the streets of Forks trying to find another class to join."

"This late?" I wondered.

"Yeah, you know your mom; it's never too late to be young and hip."

We all laughed and Charlie shook his head.

"That woman is crazy," I heard him mumble, I couldn't help but smile. "So what have you two been up to?" Charlie suddenly asked.

I looked at Alice and she looked at me simultaneously. "Uh not much, I went over to a friend's house with Alice."

Charlie then turned to look at me from the living room. "What friend?" I looked back at Alice with slight alarm, I still hadn't told Charlie about Edward.

"Oh you know, my friend that I had been working on that science fair project with." I said all nonchalant.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Is this friend a guy or girl?" He asked speculatively.

"Guy," I quickly said as if it were no big deal. Charlie was surprised.

"Does Jacob know about this?"

"Yes dad. Jacob knows. It's no big deal." I replied.

"Well what's his name? This boy you've been working on projects and hanging out with?"

"His name is Edward, Edward Cullen." Charlie was even more surprised. Did he know Edward Cullen? If he did, then I was the one who was surprised. I had no idea that Charlie even knew he existed.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen's son?" Charlie asked.

"Yes, that's him, I've met his family. They are really nice people," I added, I tried to make Charlie like them, especially _him_, as much as possible.

"Am I ever going to meet this Edward?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure dad, whenever you want."

"Good, I'll feel better about you hanging out with him once I meet the boy." He said. I looked at Alice and rolled my eyes, she just laughed. Charlie turned his attention back to the T.V.

"We're going upstairs now," I yelled to him, trying to talk over the loud and obnoxious sports game that he was so entranced by.

Charlie grunted a little bit, his way of acknowledging people's words when focused on something else.

Alice and I walked up to my bedroom. She sat on my bed and I closed the door behind me once I entered.

"You really need to tell them about Edward. I can't believe you haven't. He needs to meet your parents." Alice quickly said.

"Yeah I know; I'll get around to it."

"You better, because he is a really important person in your life and you don't want Charlie to hate him right off the bat. Especially if he meets him _after_ the whole Jacob thing goes down."

"Yeah, you're definitely right about that." I nodded. She smirked.

"As I always am."

I laughed, "Are you sleeping here again tonight?" I asked her.

"Yeah, but I'm leaving tomorrow, I have to get back Monday for school." She answered.

"Okay, I wish you didn't have to leave. It has been great since you came to visit."

"I know; it has brought back so many memories. I've missed my best friend."

"Me too," I said with a smile. Alice reciprocated.

"I hope you'll be okay though once I leave. I want everything to be sorted out for you."

"I'll work on it."

"You better," Alice said sternly. I sighed and she smirked at me.

"God I am so tired," I said.

"I bet you are," Alice said raising an eyebrow.

We both got ready for bed; I took a quick shower then let Alice take one. We both finished brushing our teeth and putting our pajamas on then climbed onto my bed.

"Goodnight Alice," I said teasingly with a smile.

"Goodnight Bella."

I turned the lights off and we both dove under the covers and fell quickly to sleep. Though sleep wasn't the best place to be, the meadow that I was entering was not the same one I had seen today, but the same dark cold place I had come to fear and loathe. I knew that after seeing the meadow for real that I had to see it again. It was my only permanent evidence that my dark angel existed. I needed to see it again, I needed to lie in its beautiful flowers and smell its sweet fragrance. I would do anything to be there one more time, and I was certainly going to try soon…

"Bella," I heard a voice calling my name, it was soft and angelic, a high playful pitch.

"Five more minutes," I replied to the pretty, light voice.

"Bella, wake up." It said now with less softness and more force.

I slowly opened my eyes to see Alice sitting right next to me.

"Bella, I have to leave. Get up."

I opened my eyes fully and stood up from where I was laying. It was only 8:30A.M.

"So soon?" I asked with a yawn.

"Yes, there is only one flight to Alaska today and it's at 12:00. I need to quickly leave and get on the road."

"Oh, okay." I said as I got up. "Are you leaving right now?" I asked as I saw that she was fully dressed, make up on and hair perfectly in place.

"Yeah, I have to." She said sadly. I frowned, but she shook the look off.

We both headed downstairs, Alice said goodbye to Charlie and Renee, and then she turned to me.

"I'll miss you Bella," she said as she pulled me in for a hug.

"I'll miss you too Alice."

"I will visit soon!" She said then adding, "Please call me and answer my calls now!"

I smiled and nodded my head.

"Please take care of yourself, Bella," she whispered so that Charlie and Renee couldn't hear.

"I promise I will." I assured her.

"And please Bella... listen to your heart."

"I will Alice, I always will."

"Good," Alice said as we heard a honk outside. "My ride's here."

"Okay," I said to Alice, embracing myself for the departure.

"Bye everyone!" She chimed as she headed for the door.

"Bye Alice!" We called back to her.

I could see Alice's eyes watering a little and I felt my own doing the same. I watched as she entered the car waiting to take her back home. It was the same car I saw her by when she was waiting outside my house the other day. I didn't know when the next time would be that I would see my best friend again, but I did know that I would miss her dearly.

She sat in the back seat, turned her head and waved to me as the car slowly sped off into the foggy streets of Forks.

"Aw I'm going to miss her," Renee said while placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Me too," I replied. It felt like old times when Alice had arrived, and I didn't know how much a part of me was missing until she left again. I only hoped that she would return soon.

I didn't know what to do with myself today; I walked back upstairs and lied on my bed, thinking of what I could possibly do. Then the idea hit me. I could go to the meadow; I could look for it, and find it. _Crap_, but I didn't pay much attention to how I had gotten there. I was pretty sure I was able to find the trail, but I wasn't sure I was able to find the actual meadow inside the woods.

I decided to go for it anyways; at least an attempt was good enough for me.

I quickly put on some hiking boots and jeans, preparing myself for a whole day of searching. I packed a backpack with all the essentials, just in case the worst were to happen. People never knew when it came to me, I was as clumsy and unlucky as it got, and no precautions were unnecessary or too large for me. I could use every bit of safety and carefulness that I could get.

I walked downstairs after I was fully packed and dressed and headed for the door.  
"Where do you think you're going?" Charlie asked while walking out from the kitchen.

"Uhh…just a short little hike." I said truthfully. Charlie raised an eyebrow speculatively.

"You…hiking...?" He asked with a slight chuckle.

"Yes, me...hiking. What is so hard to believe about that?" I asked defensively.

"Oh calm down Bells, I'm just joking." He said smiling. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know when I'll be home, I'm looking for something and I don't know how long it will take me to find it, but it won't be too late." I told him.

"What are you looking for?" He wondered.

"Just a trail..." I half told the truth. I was looking for the trail, but only so that I could not follow it and then hike inside the woods to find the meadow.

"Alright Bells, but you be safe. Don't go off the trail and don't go too far." He said, I internally laughed, because I was doing the complete opposite of what he told me to do. I was going off the trails and I was going pretty far into the woods.

"Yeah yeah, bye dad." I said as I walked outside and headed for my truck.

"Bye honey, don't do anything stupid." He added as I shut my truck door and turned the engine on. I backed out of the driveway and headed down the road towards Edward's house. I knew that if I wanted the best chance of actually finding the way to the meadow was by taking every familiar path. The drive heading there only made sense if I began at Edward's house, so that was where I was going to start.

I was getting closer and closer to his beautiful home, I saw the hidden turn into his driveway, but did not enter. I didn't need to enter, but the temptation to pull in and see him was overwhelming me. My heart raced as I saw the tree opening to his far off house. I wanted to see Edward so badly, but I couldn't. I had to find the meadow.

I drove quickly past the entrance to his long driveway and realized I was heading the same way I had the day before, to the meadow. _Thank God_, I was on the right track.

I saw familiar roads and turns that I had seen with Edward the day before.

I was glad I had paid attention to my surroundings yesterday. I tried so hard to figure out where I was that I took every part of the drive into my memory and focused on it. I was able to remember the entire way to the hiking trail, and I was extremely proud of myself for being able to.

I knew there wasn't much time left until I would arrive to the parking area for the woods. I remembered asking Edward how much farther and him only saying a few more minutes. Indeed, it was only a few more minutes.

I did another slow turn and saw that in front of me a few yards ahead was the hiking trail. I smiled to myself, happy that I had accomplished such a task. It wasn't very easy trying to find this place; luckily I had paid attention before.

I parked my truck into an empty spot then jumped out of it after turning off the engine. I grabbed my backpack and prepared myself for what I knew was to be a long and strenuous search for the place I loved so much.

I knew it was going to kill me to see it again, but I wanted so much to see it, no matter how much it would hurt me later on, I had to see it. My memories were so distant and I needed the meadow to bring them to life again, though that was probably the stupidest thing I could do to myself, remember the dark angel. Forgetting him was most likely the wisest decision, but I knew I would never allow myself to do such a thing. I would never forget him, never.

I stood in front of the trail and the area that Edward had led me into. I stood, staring in both directions. If I took the mysterious path, I could get lost, hurt, or distressed; if I took the trail, I would never have the opportunity to find the meadow. Only one way was certain that I had at least a chance to find the place that I desired to be, and that was the unknown. I would have to walk through the mysterious path that Edward had taken me, thought it wasn't a path, only trees and trees of woods. It was no trail, no assurance of safety or solitude. It was my chance to find what I so longed to see, whether that chance was slim to none; it was still a chance worth taking.

I began my journey into the unknown depth of the forest.

I saw familiar areas for the first few minutes of the hike, and then it all went downhill from there. I saw the same area about five times.

"I must be walking in circles," I mumbled to myself. There was the same spot I kept seeing over and over again, a tree with an oddly shaped hole inside of it with moss growing out of it.

I kept walking, hoping that I'd find something familiar from yesterday's walk that would lead me to the meadow, but there was no hope. I kept walking and walking, but there was no breach in the forest. I was exhausted and needed a break. I sat on a nearby tree stump, breathing heavily and taking some water out from my backpack and drinking it.

I looked at my wrist watch, _4:00P.M._

I had been walking around in circles for around seven hours. I was mad at myself for not being able to find the meadow, frustrated that it had taken me seven hours and still not even the slightest bit of progress.

_Why am I so stupid?_ I thought to myself.

I drank a few more sips of my water then placed it back into my backpack.

_Ok Bella, you can do this_, I assured myself. _Find the meadow._

I kept on walking, faster now and more determined. My face was focused and my thoughts were only of finding the meadow.

_I can do this, I can do this_, I kept repeating to myself.

I kept walking around the woods, what seemed like hours later and still no leeway. I was still failing; there was no site of the meadow or any significant place that I had remembered from yesterday.

The sun was beginning to set and I knew that Charlie would soon worry if I wasn't home before it got too late. But I didn't know if I was able to find my way out of the woods to even get home. I lost all of my tracks and had no idea where I had even began the hike. I didn't even see the tree with the strange hole anymore. I was lost, and I was panicking.

I began to run, desperate for any way out, I needed to get out. I gave up on finding the meadow, and all I needed was the open air, I needed to get home. I ran and ran until finally I saw a breach, but it wasn't the road that I was expecting where I thought my car would be. Instead, it was the meadow, in all of its glory.

The sun had fallen and I had finally found the meadow, my only worry was that I still wouldn't be able to find my way home. It was late now, and I had no idea how I was going to leave this place without taking hours to find the exit.

I ran into the meadow, falling to the ground and crying at my sudden success, but failure at everything else. I found the place I had dreamed of, but now I was trapped in its dark beauty without knowing a way to escape to safety.

"Bella!" I heard a familiar voice calling my name. "Bella! Thank God! There you are!" He said to me.

I looked up and to my amazement it was Edward. He rushed to my side and picked me up from the ground, holding me in his arms.

"God Bella, why would you come here alone? I was so worried about you!" he said over and over again. I was confused. How did Edward even know I was here? How did he know any of this?

"Edward, how did you even kno-"

"I called your house this afternoon to see if you wanted to come over. I was actually going to take you to the meadow," he scoffed, "but your dad answered and said you had gone hiking. I was surprised, I never imagined you hiking…by yourself." Edward shook his head, his expression with worry now. "He was a bit worried too, he told me you were looking for something and that you had left early in the morning and you still weren't back. I thought to myself where you would be and I knew you would be looking for the meadow. I told Charlie I knew where you were and that you were perfectly safe. He seemed relieved."

I looked at Edward and smiled, glad that he solved Charlie's worry.

"I then told him that I would be sure that you got home safely. After I talked to him, I rushed over here and searched for you. I went straight to the meadow, and when I got here, which was only a few minutes ago, I saw you on your knees crying. I had never been so scared and happy in my entire life. Don't ever go off into the woods alone like that Bella, do you understand me?" His face was broken, remorseful even.

"I understand. I'm sorry Edward. I just really wanted to see the meadow."

"All you had to do was call." He simply said. I smirked.

"Yeah, well I know that now."

"Good, I don't want to have to search for you in these woods ever again; it nearly killed me to think about all the possible things that could have happened to you."

"I'm sorry." I said again, Edward held me closer then led me to the middle of the meadow.

"Do you want to stay here for a little bit now that you have found it?" He asked with a grin.

"Yes please." I said smiling. He held my hand gently and pulled me to the ground with him. Edward had his arm around me and we lied staring at the stars. The night was extra clear at that moment, the stars radiating its magnificence and light upon us. I was in awe of its immense beauty and Edward's. I turned to look at him and he was watching me, smiling ever so cleverly.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked him. He smiled even more then looked at the stars for a brief second.

"I'm thinking of the beauty in front of me," he said. My face fell slightly. He was looking at the stars in front of him.

"Yeah, the stars are pretty awesome." I said quietly. Edward turned to me smiling even more.

"Bella, you are what's beautiful." He said, with a slight frustrated expression. "Why don't you ever believe that?"

I didn't answer him; I just kept looking at his face. I was hoping this wasn't the time that we were going to "talk." I wasn't ready for the conversation we would inevitably have about our relationship, but I knew I had to sooner or later.

"The beauty of the stars could not come close to comparison to your beauty," he said smoothly and deeply. He gave me his gorgeous crooked smile and my heart felt like it had stopped beating in my chest. I was in shock, and my mind was spinning. My body and my mind were internally flipping and freaking out from happiness. I was so close to telling Edward that I loved him, but I knew I shouldn't.

He moved his head closer to mine and stared longingly into my eyes. His expression was so deep and sweet. The electricity between us was as strong as it had ever been and Edward slowly moved his face even closer to mine. He began to close his eyes and I began to close mine. His soft lips gently touched mine and I couldn't catch my breath. I was frozen from the electric current that pulsed and rushed through our bodies. I had never felt such sensations before. My mind was sky rocketing and my toes were tingling. Edward's kiss was the most exhilarating intimate touch I had ever experienced.

I was hungry for more, I couldn't stop. I wanted nothing but Edward at that moment, and I wanted all of him.

Unfortunately for my greedy self, we only kissed one long, soft, gentle kiss. The best kiss of my life. He slowly pulled his lips away and I did the same, though I didn't want to. He looked at me again and I knew it was time.

We had to talk.

I also knew something else….I had cheated on Jacob Black.

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**A/N: Uh oh! What is Bella going to do? dun dun dunnnnn...! haha **

**Well FINALLY they kissed! yay! I was glad to finally write this chapter. Thank goodness! I am sooo glad it is finally in there.**

** So, lucky for you guys, chapter 18 had been written like 10 chapters ago lol. Well only like the first/opening page of it. So I should already be inspired to add on more to it. So no worries on having to wait another week and a half for the next chapter. This should be out MUCH sooner. Especially since I am on spring break this week. THANK GOD! I have been so tired of school lately, I am just ready to leave! Senioritis is bad! haha**

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	18. Sorry

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: Here it is! Chapter 18! I hope you are excited! Thank you to the wonderful people that have reviewed this story! You are awesome and those who have alerted me/story or added me/story to their favorites. Thank you!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**Also thank you to wannabealicebrandon for beta reading this chapter.**

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 18

_Sorry_

"Bella, we need to talk… about us." Edward said those fateful words and I just about died. This was what I was dreading. He looked at me with a serious, but loving expression on his face.

"Okay, talk." I told him. I wasn't sure what else to say to him or how I would say it.

"Do you want to be with me?" He asked.

"Yes, I do." I admitted; I was letting myself become completely vulnerable right now. And I couldn't believe I had just said that.

"Do you want to be with Jacob?" _Oh God_, it was the killer question. I paused for a few moments. I knew how to answer the question, but saying it out loud…that was a whole different story.

"Well…no I think, not anymore." I told him, he looked confused and frustrated.

"Then leave him Bella…if you want to be with me," Edward pleaded, his face in anguish.

"It's not that simple Edward. I want to, but it's just not that easy." I shook my head a few times, unsure of myself, my words. "I've been with him all my life, he's my best friend, and I can't just hurt him like that. I'm not ready to hurt him. He'll be crushed, Edward."

"I understand, and I don't want to force any decisions upon you, Bella. I'm not going to make you choose between us. Just be happy and you can have whatever part of me you want, or none at all, if that's better."

Damn Edward for being so understanding. I sighed.

"I want you Edward, more than I've ever wanted anyone." It was true, but I just couldn't bring myself to rip out Jacob's heart. "But I can't make myself hurt him, no matter what I decide, someone will get hurt, and I'll get hurt having to make that choice."

"Bella, it's okay, I'm here, and I'll always be here until you don't want me anymore. You don't have to decide for me, I will never hurt you."

"I'll always want you here." I told him, he looked at me with a strong gaze and then cupped my face with his hands.

"I will never leave you." He said to me in his beautiful voice, and then gracefully kissed my lips again with his soothing touch.

"I don't want you to ever leave me." I said, dazzled by his close presence. Edward smiled and then kissed me softly again.

We both turned to the stars then stared at them for a little while. I was happy with the night; the beauty of the sky was startling, and Edward was enthralling. I knew I had to call Alice later and tell her what happened. She would be thrilled and most likely bombard me with a million and one questions.

I was afraid of tomorrow morning, though, when I would see Jacob. I also had to tell him what happened; I couldn't keep this a secret from him. I wasn't like that. I was disgusted with myself for cheating on him, but I knew it would have happened sooner or later anyways. Edward was a big part of my life now, and his importance was growing at an uncontrollable rate.

"Are you ready to go home now?" Edward asked as we laid under the stars.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm sure Charlie is starting to worry again."

Edward chuckled and stood up, helping me up as well.

"It's going to take forever to walk out of here," I said exhaustedly, looking at the trees.

"I know a shortcut," Edward said, smirking.

He took my hand and we headed in a different direction then we came in, at least that I came in.

We walked through the woods, quickly. Edward looked at me every couple of minutes or so, smiling, checking to make sure I was okay.

"Almost there," he said.

"Good, I can't keep up this pace much longer."

"You'll sleep well tonight," he assured me, "since you've walked for probably half a day today." He said jokingly.

"I'll be very mad if I don't sleep well then" I said sarcastically, but I knew how I was going to sleep tonight.

"Here we are," Edward said, and we stepped out of the woods and onto a road.

"Where's my truck?" I asked suspiciously. Edward laughed.

"It's just around this turn, this was the shortcut."

"Okay, it was pretty short." I admitted.

We kept walking a few yards until we found my truck and I saw Edward's Volvo.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to drive behind you and make sure you get home safely. It will give me some peace of mind." Edward said as he opened my truck door for me. I smiled.

"Of course, I've been meaning to introduce you to my parents anyways, if that is okay...?"

Edward's face lit up.

"Of course, it would be a pleasure to meet them."

"Okay, well, we better hurry." I smiled and Edward nodded, shutting my door and walking to his Volvo. Before I even turned my engine on, Edward's was already running and ready to go.

I pulled out of my parking spot and headed back to my house. It was a lengthy drive, longer than most normal drives in Forks; it gave me time to think, too much time.

Had I really kissed Edward? Had I really cheated on Jacob? The proof of my betrayal was everywhere and I still couldn't believe how unfaithful I had been to Jacob. A part of me wished that he was the one who had been unfaithful to me; at least then I wouldn't have to hurt him in that situation. But no, I had to be the one doing the hurting, I always had to be the one. I was never given a break. Not only did I cheat on Jacob, but I fell in love with Edward too. That is going to kill him and tear his heart to pieces.

We reached my driveway and I could see the shadow of Charlie peeking out through the window, all the lights on in the house. He must have still been worrying.

It wasn't too late in the night, the clock in the truck said that it was 10:30 P.M.

Most teenagers in high school had curfews of 12:00 or 1:00 on the weekends, but not the Chief's daughter; I had to be home around 10:00. Charlie would probably be mad at me, but I was bringing him company, which meant he couldn't lose it in front of Edward. He would save that for later, scolding me once Edward left.

I parked in the driveway while Edward parked on the side of the street. I cut my engine and jumped out of the truck and found Edward already right next to me, smiling his brilliant smile. He was really fast, faster than I gave him credit for.

"You ready?" Edward asked. I took a big gulp then nodded. We walked to the front door and I opened it, stepping cautiously inside, looking around for Charlie or Renee.

"Bella! Where the he-" Charlie began to say as he walked in then saw Edward right next to me. He gave me a suspicious look.

"Sorry I came home so late, Dad, I got lost in the woods." Charlie looked a bit shocked, and then shook his head in aggravation.

"I knew something like that would happen, Bells." He said.

"I was wandering around in the woods until Edward found me," I gestured to Edward next to me. "Dad, I'd like you to meet Edward Cullen." I said; Charlie studied him for a few seconds; Edward immediately held his right arm out and shook with Charlie.

"It is very nice to meet you sir," Edward said in his always polite manner.

"You too," Charlie said slowly, still eyeing Edward.

Just then, Renee walked into the room.

"Oh, I didn't know we had company." She said, pleasantly surprised. Renee looked over at Edward then at me, smiling at me with the 'he's gorgeous!' expression she frequently used. Edward took a few steps toward her direction, holding his right arm out to introduce himself.

"Hello, Mrs. Swan. I would like to formally introduce myself, my name is Edward Cullen." He said in his charming voice, while flashing her his beautiful smile. Renee couldn't stop smiling in return. She looked at me again and gave me the 'I've died and gone to heaven' expression. I laughed internally.

"Why, it's very nice to meet you Edward. Are you by chance related to Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes, he is my father." Edward affirmed politely.

"He is a wonderful man, and your mother, I've met her a few times in town. She is a very darling woman."

"Thank you," he replied sweetly, "she thinks the same about you."

I rolled my eyes smiling. _Nice touch, Edward._

"Please come in," Renee encouraged him. I then realized we were still right by the front door. Charlie hadn't even moved out of the way to let us fully inside the house. He wasn't much of a social person, and he was even a little more awkward when it came to meeting new people, especially boys my age.

"Charlie, you've met Edward's father right?" Renee asked as she led us to the kitchen.

"Uh yes, I've met him a few times, nice guy." Charlie said. "Does a good job with his patients, the staff love him." Edward smiled.

"So Edward, how do you know Bella?" Renee asked curiously, still smiling ever so brightly.

"We have a class together, Biology. We've actually been working on a science fair project for the past month."

"Really? I guess that's where Bella's been off to lately." She smirked at me and I blushed. I could see Edward grinning and trying to hide a laugh by my side. Charlie looked confused and turned his head back and forth between us.

"We're almost finished with it though," Edward added.

"What is the project about?" Renee asked.

"Human behavior and its predictability." He answered.

"Sounds fascinating," Renee said, looking dazed and entranced by Edward. Charlie laughed a bit by her behavior.

"Geez, Renee, give the kid some space." He said with a chuckle. I then noticed that she was subconsciously leaning closer and closer to Edward from the counter. She looked at Charlie confused then looked at her posture, instantly snapping herself to a stand up position and blushing. Edward just smiled.

"Sorry," she mumbled, and I began to laugh.

"Well I think Edward needs to go home now, it's pretty late and we have school tomorrow," I began to remind them. Renee nodded and Charlie looked a bit relieved.

"Oh okay, well it was a pleasure meeting you Edward." Renee told him while smiling.

"The pleasure was all mine." He said charmingly, showing us his beautiful smile. I knew right there that if Renee was a 17 year old teenager, she would have fallen head over heels for Edward at that moment. Charlie laughed again then turned to Edward.

"Nice meeting you Edward, I'm sure I'll see your father around soon." He said then shook Edward's hand again.

"Of course sir, I'm sure he would be delighted to see you again, as well." Edward said, firmly shaking Charlie's hand. He then looked to both of them and said, "Thank you for inviting me inside tonight, it was nice to finally meet you two."

They both nodded, Renee with an adoring smile and Charlie with a brief one.

"I'll walk Edward out." I told them and they nodded again. We walked outside together and headed for his silver Volvo.

"What did you think?" I asked him.

"They are very nice," Edward told me with a slight chuckle.

"They are; I was afraid Charlie was going to act up, but I'm glad he didn't. And Renee looked like she had fallen in love with you." I joined in Edward's laughter. "You are really good at dazzling people." I told him, staring into his beautiful green eyes as we stopped next to his car.

"Do I dazzle you?" He asked crooked smile and all.

"All the time," I admitted. "You're even doing it right now."

"Sorry," Edward apologized, ducking his head with his smile.

"Don't be." I smiled.

"Thank you for finally letting me meet your parents," he said teasingly.

"No problem, I'm glad they met you. It's a big weight off my shoulders."

"Yeah, but I bet you still have quite the load anyways." He told me, and I couldn't agree more. I had a giant load on my shoulders, and it would be there for a while.

"Edward," I said quietly.

"Yes, Bella?" He said soothingly.

"Can you do me one favor?"

"Anything," he replied. My heart skipped at that beautiful response.

"Will you try avoiding Jacob tomorrow? I don't want anything bad to happen." Edward nodded.

"Of course Bella," he assured me.

"Thank you."

"Sleep well tonight," he told me in a deep tone.

"I'll try," I told him.

"See you tomorrow." He said as he caressed my cheek softly.

"Goodnight, Edward," I said, blushing in the dark, hoping that he couldn't tell, and also hoping that my parents weren't watching through the windows.

"Goodnight, Bella." He said smiling, which made me think that he did indeed see the blood rush to my cheeks, giving me away.

He entered his Volvo then looked at me with a smile before driving quickly away into the night.

I blankly stared at his path for a few seconds then retrieved to the house.

"Edward is _gorgeous_!" Renee blurted out as I entered the kitchen, the same place she was still standing in when Edward was here.

"Yeah," was all I could say. Renee then looked at me with wondering eyes.

"Bella," she whispered, glancing at Charlie who was in the living room and making sure that he wasn't listening. "Is there something going on between you and Edward?"

I was taken aback by her question. Of course there was something going on, but what was I supposed to tell her? I didn't answer; I didn't know how to.

"It's just, Bella, I saw the way you two looked at each other. It's stronger than the way I've seen anyone look at each other. Definitely stronger than you and Jacob. There must be something going on, because all I see is love, Bella."

"Mom, can we talk about this later? I'm really tired. I've had a long day."

"Of course sweetie," she told me while patting the back of my head in a motherly way.

"I hope you're okay," she suddenly said. I nodded.

"Goodnight mom," I told her.

"Goodnight dear," she replied.

I walked upstairs to my bedroom and laid down on my bed, thinking of how crazy tomorrow was going to be. I knew I had to talk to Jacob, and I knew I had to tell him about Edward and how something _was_ in fact going on between us two. I didn't want to hurt him, but I knew that part was inevitable. Someone had to get hurt. Even though I'd rather have myself the one being hurt over and over again than have to hurt anyone else, someone still had to get hurt.

I took a brief shower and readied myself for bed. I regretfully dove into the covers and closed my eyes, waiting for the same dream to take me into the dark cold night.

*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*

I opened my eyes and turned my alarm clock off. Today was the day I was going to tell Jacob Black about Edward. Today was one of the days I had been dreading most for the past few months.

I slowly got out of bed, trying to delay myself in any way possible so that talking to Jacob wouldn't come any sooner than it had to.

I slowly put on my clothes and brushed my hair and my teeth. Still, I was quickly running out of things to do.

I walked downstairs and ate breakfast, a bowl of cereal.

"Good morning Bella," Renee said sweetly while sipping her coffee. Charlie had already left for work today, and Renee was the only one home.

"Good morning mom," I replied.

"Are you ready for school today?" She asked; _how did she do that? _How did she know when to ask such normal questions that applied to my life, but meant something completely different? I knew that this conversation would shift soon and become more personal. This simple question would change the conversation entirely, though it was my fault too, I was eating at the palm of her hand.

"Not really," I said truthfully.

"How come?" Renee asked innocently. "Is something wrong?"

"Well…yeah." I told her.

"What is it? Did something happen?" She put her coffee down and looked at me concerned.

"I did something. Something that I shouldn't have done."

Renee looked worried now.

"What did you do Bella?"

"I can't really say-"

"Did you cheat on a test?" Renee asked angrily, my heart jumped when she said the word cheat, but I was completely surprised with her accusation.

"No! Of course not! It's not that…" I assured her; she calmed down a bit then looked at me differently, like a light bulb just turned on.

"Does this have anything to do with Edward?" I looked down shamefully.

"Yes," I answered her. Renee placed her hand on my chin then raised my face to meet hers.

"Tell me Bella, it's okay." She assured me soothingly, comforting me.

"I kissed Edward." I said quickly and guiltily, trying to just get this over with and off my chest.

"Oh Bella," She said in an understanding tone. "I knew there was something going on between you two, even your dad noticed."

"He did?" I asked surprised. Charlie of all people noticed?

"Yes he did, sweetie, it's not that hard to tell. You two look like your madly in love with each other." She admitted. I sighed then put my face in my hands.

"This is terrible, I feel horrible." I told her, almost beginning to cry.

"Now now honey, it's okay. Everything will be alright."

"No it won't! I have to tell Jacob, he'll be crushed!"

"Him being crushed would be the least of my worries; I'd be worried about Edward's life. You know Jacob's temper." I nodded my head.

"I'm worried about that too, but I don't want to hurt Jacob. He will be so heart broken."

"Bella, that's life right there, that's love. People get hurt all the time. Do you love Jacob?"

"Yes, he's my best friend mom. I've been with him forever."

"And do you love Edward?"

"Yes, more than anyone I have ever known."

"Then it seems you know what you have to do."

"I know what I have to do mom, it's just doing it that I can't deal with, and I'm scared of the unknown. I don't want this all to be for nothing."

"Bella, you are a strong girl, I know you can do this." She told me with force. "You know what the right thing to do is, I know you do. I raised you well."

"I better get to school." I told her.

"Yes, you better." She agreed as I grabbed my bag and headed for the front door.

"Just remember Bella, you can do this. We love Jacob, he will always be family to us, but this is about _your_ happiness, not ours. Do what you want to do, not what anyone else tells you."

"Thanks mom," I gave her a fake smile and she hugged me.

"Now get going," She told me smiling. I knew my mother was right. I had to tell Jacob, and I had to be strong. It was the right thing to do. If I truly valued our friendship and loved him like I said, then he deserved to know.

I walked to my truck and quickly turned the engine on, concentrating on what to say as I sped off towards the high school. I was on a mission and I had to tell him before I lost all strength.

I spotted him as I pulled into the parking lot. He was standing next to his Rabbit waiting for me. I parked and quickly jumped out of the truck to tell him what I most feared to say.

"Jake," I said timidly, I was so scared to tell him, but I had to. I couldn't keep this from him. It just came out of me and I couldn't stop it.

"I kissed Edward."

"You did WHAT?" He asked in complete astonishment. He was in shock; he was mortified.

"I kissed him Jake, I am so sorry, but I kissed him. Please Jake, please, I am so sorry, I didn't mean fo-"

"Bella, stop. I can't believe this." He looked at me and I was completely ashamed. I could clearly see the disappointment and sadness in his eyes.

"Please Jake, I didn't mean to. I am so sorry." He looked at me and then anger filled his eyes. He was turning red, and I knew he was about to blow.

"Where is HE?" He asked, and I was terrified. I had never seen him this angry before.

"Bella, damn it where is he? Where's that son of a bitch?!" He asked, he was shaking and I knew he was losing it. Jacob was going to kill Edward. I didn't answer him; I was in shock now by his reaction. I knew he would be angry, but not _this_ angry.

"Jacob, please! He didn't do anything! It was all me! Please don't hurt him!" That was the wrong thing to say, he looked at me with his nostrils flaring.

"I can't believe this Bella! You are DEFENDING him?" He was outraged with the situation, absolutely appalled.

"It wasn't his fault, Jake!"

"Bella! It takes TWO people to kiss!" He spat out. "It is as much his fault as it is yours." He said coldly, looking at me with disgust. I was so afraid of this Jacob; I had never seen him this angry before. I did deserve it though, I'd cheated on him, I had kissed Edward. Regardless of the situation, I was afraid of him right now, and my eyes began to glisten with moisture.

He saw my tears and I saw anguish in his eyes. He was pissed off, but he still loved me, and it hurt him to see me like this, especially afraid of him. He was beginning to calm down, but I could tell he still wanted to kill Edward. He took a deep breath and looked at the ground with pain in his eyes.

"Why Bella…..Why?" He asked quietly and gloomily. My heart broke just then. I felt horrible and the tears began to fall.

"I'm so sorry, Jake. I'm so sorry." I cried out in disappointment of myself. He looked at me with a strained face.

"Damn it Bella, please stop crying. You know I can't take that."

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. He walked up to me and grabbed me in his arms, shushing me and calming me down. He began to whisper in my ear.

"You know I'm pissed Bella, but we'll work something out. We'll figure this out." He kept repeating it in my ear as he rocked me in his arms.

I couldn't believe I was about to do this, but I opened my mouth and began to say the words that I knew would break Jacob's heart _and_ my heart.

"I don't know if I _want_ to work this out Jacob."

I could feel his muscles tense as I said those words. He stopped breathing for a few seconds and I knew that he was hurt. He froze where he was, and I broke free from his embrace, trying to stay strong in this situation. I couldn't look too much into his eyes or at his face or else it would get to me and I wouldn't be able to succeed in what I was trying to do.

"I'm sorry Jacob, I just don't know about us anymore." I said softly, agony in my tone. He still didn't look up at me, his body was still frozen, and it looked like he was still not breathing.

"Jake please, you know we haven't been good lately." He finally looked up at me, but when I saw his face, I wished he was still looking down. The pain in his eyes was killing me; there was no trace of happiness in his face. My heart sank and crushed into a thousand pieces for having to do this to him.

If I was meant to break up with him and be with Edward, then why was it so damn hard? Why was letting go of Jacob the most difficult thing I had ever done.

"It was going to end sooner or later," I continued.

"Don't say that Bella. Don't you dare say that." He suddenly said, responding down but only angrily and slightly desperate.

"Jake-"

"We are supposed to work this out, that's what couples do." His face looked frustrated now. "You love me Bella, I know you do. You're just confused."

"No Jacob, please don't-"

"Bella, Bells, we have been together since forever. Don't throw all of that away."

"I'm sorry Jake,"

"Don't say you're sorry, don't say any of this." He argued. I couldn't look at him anymore; I was too ashamed with myself.

"Do you love him?" Jacob asked me, I was not looking forward to that question.

"Yes." I said quietly with my head down. Jacob put his hands over his head and I risked taking a quick glance at his face. I wished I had resisted the urge because he looked like he had just died.

"Bella…" he said softly, "How could this have happened?"

He leaned against my truck, shaking his head back in forth with his face in his hands. I felt so bad, so horrible, like I was a monster.

I leaned against the truck next to him.

"I don't know Jake, I don't know."

"But you do love me right?" He asked, lifting his head from his hands.

"You know I do Jake, I always have."

"Then I'm going to fight for you, Bella, because I love you."

"Jake-" I wanted to tell him there was no point and that I loved Edward more, but he wasn't having any of it and I couldn't bear to hurt him even more.

"Just think about it Bella. I want you to pick me instead of him. You know Charlie would be happy if you picked me, I can protect you. I can make you happy."

I didn't answer Jacob after that; I didn't fight him any longer. I was too tired of the argument we had just had.

"I hate him Bella." Jacob said quietly and coldly, "I hate what he's done to you."

"He hasn't done anything to me Jake."

"He's taken you away from me."

"No, Jake, that would have happened anyways. Maybe not now, but years from now, it would've happened." Jacob sighed.

"Bella, I'm sorry for the way things have been lately, but you have to know how hard it's been for me, having to see you the way you were."

"We're lucky we even made it this far because of that." I added.

"Maybe," Jacob said, "but it doesn't change my feelings for you."

"I know Jake." We paused for a few minutes. There was nothing else to say.

"Let's get to class," he said as we both looked to see there were only a few more people walking outside. The bell was surely about to ring and I was hoping for a busy day of work during first period. I couldn't talk to Jacob about this much longer; it was too much for me. I had hurt him, and I had hurt myself.

"I'm going to kill him Bella." He softly said in a deep scorned voice. I didn't know what to say, but all I could do was rethink to that movie I saw Friday night. All I could do was hope that that would not be how my life turned out.

Sadly, Jacob was still fighting for me, a battle which he would lose no matter what. He was sacrificing himself, basically committing suicide. His fight for my true love was a lost cause, I knew. I belonged to Edward now and Jacob couldn't change that. No one could. I only hoped nothing horrible would come out of this…because if it did, I don't know what I'd do.

* * *

**A/N: Wellll? What did you think? I personally got emotional when writing this chapter. Yes, I LOVE Edward and perfer him to Jacob a thousand times more, but still, I have a heart. It was sad having to write that and breaking Jacob's heart. But he's still going to fight for her, even though she sees no point in him doing it. **

**I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to write the line "I'm going to fight for you, until your heart stops beating," but it didn 't really apply to this story, since she's not going to become a vampire :/ so I was like "Damnit." But if you noticed, I incorporated part of that line into the story near the end, so I was at least a little satisfied with that. **

**But I just love Edward so much and in this story he is that understanding guy that will do anything for Bella, even if he has to leave her to make her happy. I admire that about him, though (thank God) that will not happen in this story. He will NEVER leave! And we don't want him to!**

**So tell me readers, what did you like about this chapter? Hate about it, LOVE about it?**

**Did you have a favorite line or part? What has been your favorite chapter so far? What do YOU want to see happen next? I would love to hear back from you guys. **

**Thanks times a million :)**

**Always REVIEW!**


	19. Spreading the Pain

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: Here it is everybody! Chapter 19! I hope you all enjoy, this has been a wonderful journey writing this story, and I hope you feel the same. I can't wait to break into chapter 20!**

**Please review and definitly enjoy!**

* * *

My Dark Angel

Chapter 19

_Spreading the Pain_

Jacob didn't talk to me at all during first period. He just sat in his seat paying attention to class. He never did that, he never paid attention. He hated school, but now he was actually listening to the teacher and doing his work. I was amazed at this new Jacob. Though the entire time, I could see in his eyes that he was in pain, that he was hurting. I could see that he didn't want to be with me in that room, at least in that moment. He wanted to be alone, and let his feelings out. I'm sure he wanted to scream, to hunt Edward down and fight him, rip him up into a million tiny pieces, but he couldn't. He had to stay in school and endure the pain, in front of me.

I tried to stay distracted while in class, I tried to not look in his direction. But every few silent minutes that would pass by, I couldn't help but take a peek at him. His face never changed, it was the same pained anguish expression that I had feared to see. My heart was beating slowly and it was hard for me to breathe, I was in pain from watching him suffer. I was in pain from knowing that I had caused him this hurt that he was feeling. I turned his life upside down, and now it was hell for him. I truly felt guilty, all he ever did was try to love me and take care of me. He tried to comfort me when I was sad, he tried to fight away my nightmares, sometimes he succeeded, but a lot of times he didn't. Jacob was never meant to be my hero, he was never meant to be my knight and shining armor, Edward was.

Nevertheless, Jacob told me he would still fight for me. It was the last thing I wanted him to do. I told him I loved Edward, I told him that I didn't want to be with him anymore and that I was confused, but it still didn't matter. As long as I loved him, he would fight for me. He believed that he had a chance; he believed that I would come back to him, and that was the worst pain of all. Because now, after I already broke his heart, I have to do it again. I have to make the decision final, and I have to choose Edward over him for good. I couldn't bear hurting him even more, he already seemed like he would crumble into pieces at any given moment. I had made him weak, and he never deserved that. I loved Jacob enough to not want to hurt him again, but I loved Edward enough to have to hurt him again. My life was so confusing and twisted, no matter what I did, I was always in a losing situation and I hated myself for it. I was disgusting; I was horrible for hurting my friend.

I didn't want to say goodbye to him; I didn't want to say goodbye to anyone, but I had to.

"Hey Bella," Angela said from the seat behind me. I turned around to greet her.

"Hey Ang," I replied.

"Were you okay after Friday?" she asked, making me remember how I had watched that horrible movie and how it made me feel.

"Yeah, I got a surprise visit from Alice. You remember Alice right?"

"Alice Brandon?" Angela asked in surprise.

"Yeah."

"Wow, I haven't heard from her in years."

"I haven't talked to her in a while, and she surprised me with a visit right when I got home."

"Well I guess it's a good thing you left then!" Angela said still amazed.

"I guess so," I said with a slight chuckle. I heard Jacob move his attention towards our conversation a little.

"How has she been doing?" Angela asked.

"She's been really good, she moved to Alaska, which I'm sure you already knew."

"Yes," Angela said laughing. "I wish I could have seen her, I miss Alice."

"It was a pleasant surprise seeing her again; hopefully she'll come back soon."

"Hey, isn't Edward from Alaska?" Angela suddenly asked, _thanks_, bring him in the subject while Jacob's in the room.

"Yeah, they sort of went to school together until he moved down here. I just found out." I told her.

"That's so crazy, what a small world." Angela said smiling.

"Indeed," I said, hating how the subject turned to Edward. I turned to look at Jacob and he was facing me. His expression was of two things, anger and surprise.

"Why didn't you tell me Alice visited?" he suddenly asked me in a quiet voice.

"I didn't know you wanted to know? You never told me she called anyways…" I responded, annoyed yet astonished that he was talking to me. Angela awkwardly looked away from the conversation and began to focus on class.

"You never answered her calls anymore; I didn't think you'd care to know. And she was my friend too you know." Jacob continued angrily. "And of course _Cullen_ was brought up in the subject." Jacob added sourly.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Alice, but don't be rude about Edward." I spat to him.

"You are seriously defending the guy? They guy _you_ kissed while _we_ were still dating?" He said angrily, getting louder but catching himself so we wouldn't attract anyone's attention.

I knew what he was doing; he was trying to make me feel guilty. But his anger and hatred towards Edward was only firing me up to defend him and lash out on Jacob.

"Yeah, well that isn't a problem anymore now is it Jacob?" I said coldly, but I regretted it the moment I let it slip from my lips because Jacob was speechless. His face froze and it looked like he had been stabbed with a million daggers to the heart. The pain surfaced back into his eyes and I felt like a monster.

"I'm sorry Jake, that was uncalled for." I apologized quickly.

"You still meant it all the same," he hushed out.

"No Jake, I wouldn't ever mean to say such a thing to you."

"Yet it still doesn't change the way you feel," Jacob said though it sounded like it was meant as a question.

"No, it doesn't." I admitted. "Sorry."

"It's not over Bella, I'll win you back. As long as you love me, I still got a chance."

"Jake-"

"Please Bella, don't give up on us. All of these years it's been you and me, we can do this."

"Jake, you know how I feel about him." I said sadly, Jacob shook his head.

"It's just a hole in the road, it can be fixed, it will pass." He said; I felt so bad, Jake was in denial. I had to make him feel better somehow to alleviate at least a little bit of the pain.

"You know I love you Jake right?"

"Of course, I love you too Bells," he said with a slight smile, though it still didn't reach his eyes. My heart rate sped up for what I was about to say I knew was going to hurt him.

"But I don't love you like I love Edward." Jacob was speechless, in a somber puppy-like way. He didn't face me, but I could see a fresh-coming of glaze in his eyes. I felt terrible for admitting it, but he had to know the truth. I tried to ease the situation, but I knew anything that I would say would surely not fix the situation regardless.

"It's just that..." I was cut off by the bell, ringing for 1st period to be over. Angela was gone in a flash, the situation was probably too awkward for her to handle. Jacob quickly and helplessly gathered his belongings and headed for the door, I quickly grabbed my stuff and ran after him, I couldn't leave him on this note. I had to explain and talk to him. He meant so much to me, he will always my best friend, and I never meant to change that.

"Jake" I called for him, as I grabbed his arm right outside of class while people rushed by around us to get to their next class. He reluctantly turned to face me but his eyes never met mine. It killed me to see his face and the hurt painted on it. "Please Jake, let me explain." He didn't respond, but only stared intently at the ground. "It's just, ever since I met Edward, I've experienced a whole different kind of love; one I never even knew existed. I just don't know Jake. This is really difficult for me. You've always been there for me and in my life. You've been there for the good and the bad. You never gave up on me." He began to raise his gaze towards me as I continued. "But I've never felt anything like this in my life Jake. I've never felt so strongly for someone and I honestly don't think anything will ever be stronger. I love you both, but just in diff-" He cut me off, raising his hand for me to stop. A light seemed to flicker on in his eyes and they were burning towards me.

"You know I want you to choose me, I'm good for you Bella. You know me." He said strongly.

"I know Jake, but I've never known anyone else. I've always been with you. How do we even know if this is the real thing?"

"Because it is Bella, you love me and I love you, that's all we need."

"But it's not Jake, it's not all we need. It's not enough. Besides, it's not the same anymore, not since Edward moved here." He began to look angrily at me.

"Don't give up so easily Bells." He said angrily, and then he spat out in disgust, "and _don't_ bring up _his_ name."

"I'm sorry." I sighed; I was so tired of fighting with Jacob. I tried to explain, but each time I did he came back stronger. He wouldn't give up; I had to figure something out.

"You'll pick me Bella, you know you will," he said confidently with a small hidden hint of desperation.

"Jacob…I don't want you fighting a lost cause."

"It's not a lost cause to me." He said sadly. I looked into his eyes and saw that he truly meant it. How could I do this to him? How could I be so cruel?

Time was running out and less people were walking by in the hallway. The conversation suddenly stopped and now it felt slightly awkward. We began walking to my class together like always, I guess only because it was routine. It was a short walk, and when we reached my trig class, Jake looked at me with determination.

"I'm still fighting for you Bella, I won't stop." He stared strongly into my eyes for a moment then walked off to his own 2nd period. I smacked my head lightly, scolding myself for egging him on. _Bella, you're only hurting him more._

It was killing me having to tell him I loved Edward and that I kissed him, it was killing me that he still wanted to fight for me to choose him, though I told him it was a lost cause. No matter what I said, he was too stubborn to listen; he still believed that we were meant for each other.

"Hey Bella, how are you feeling?" Jessica asked as I walked through the door and to my usual seat.

"I've been better," I told her honestly, not expecting her to ask anything further anyways.

"Oh that's too bad. We missed you after the movie. Since we weren't able to get ice cream Friday night, Angela and I got some Sunday. We called to invite you but your dad said you were out hiking or something. So we went just the two of us. We saw Mike there. We talked for hours." She kept going on, gloating about it. I wasn't paying much attention to her anyways; I wasn't in the mood for a Jessica Stanley conversation.

She must have realized my lack of interest in the conversation because the next thing she said caught me by surprise.

"I saw Jacob there too…" she told me.

"Yeah, he likes ice cream." I said, not thinking twice about it.

"I bet he does…that girl seemed to like it too." She said, and then I whipped my head to look at Jessica dead in the eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her sternly.

"Jacob wasn't alone Sunday night." Jessica said lightly, excited about the gossip she was stirring up.

"Who was he with?" I demanded.

"Renesmee Cullen."

"I should have guessed." I said sourly. Was Jacob seriously doing this? Was he seriously acting like _I_ was the bad guy? He went out for ice cream with Renesmee, Lord knows what they did. Jacob cannot be begging for me to choose him when he doesn't even know himself who he wants.

"You shouldn't worry though Bella, it looked like she was into him more than he was to her." Jessica said, slightly caring in her own kind of way.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It just seems like Renesmee likes him much more than he likes her. He has her eating at the palm of his hand." Jessica said and I was stunned. He has Renesmee at the palm of his hand? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

If Alice's theory that Renesmee is Jacob's true love is correct, then Jacob should love her too, not unrequited. _There must be something deeper going on, there has to be_. I was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"Did they…do anything?" I asked her tentatively.

"Oh no, Bella. They just seemed pretty close." She told me. I felt a little relief at the situation, but maybe this was a good thing. Maybe Jacob hanging out with Renesmee was a _really _good thing. It would hopefully make the decision process run smoother and he wouldn't be so sad, because then he'd have Renesmee. I hope he wants Renesmee.

I couldn't help but think how strange it really was that I was in love with Edward and his sister was most likely in love with Jacob. It was like we were all tied together in some weird way now. I hoped their relationship would work out or else it would just be awkward. If they just casually dated, then Jacob could still be in love with me while we are all hanging out at the Cullen's house and that was something I did not want. But if he loved her, then he would surely forget about me and be okay with that fact. Edward and I wouldn't bother him with our togetherness, everything would be fine and everything would be forgiven. We would all finally be with the ones we were supposed to be with.

I had to linger on that thought; I had to hold off on Jacob's heartbreak long enough so that he'd fall in love with Renesmee and be able to let me go. If that happened, then I'd have a chance, then it would all be okay.

I didn't further the conversation with Jessica anymore, we focused on math, well maybe she did, I had other things to worry about. I couldn't stop thinking about Jacob and Renesmee; I couldn't stop thinking about the inevitable choices that I had to make. Was Jacob trying to fight his feelings for Renesmee so he could be with me? Was he trying to shove those feelings away so he could fight for a lost cause? I wasn't going to pick Jake, that is certain, but I don't want him to give up his chance on true love for me. He had to know that there was a better choice; he had to know that he should let me go, he had to. He can't have me, only Edward can.

I had to come up with a plan; I had to get them together somehow. I had to talk to Renesmee. It was the only way I saw that things could work out for everyone, it was the only way. Still with this way, there would be heartache, but it would be so minimal compared to the other ways. With this way, there would be love waiting for everyone, not just for me and Edward.

The bell rang and I left for lunch, I would see Edward and Renesmee there, I could tell her I needed to talk to her later. It would also give me an excuse to go over to Edward's house. I would do anything for that chance.

I walked into the cafeteria and found Angela and Ben sitting down together already engulfed in some kind of conversation.

"I have a purple dress Ben; you are not wearing red to prom." Angela kept arguing with him as I pulled up a seat next to them.

"But everyone is wearing red, it's a pimpin' color," he argued back.

"But you're not a pimp," Angela said and I began to laugh.

"What on Earth is going on?" I asked. They both looked up at me and began to laugh as well.

"We are discussing prom, and Ben is being difficult." Angela said smirking at Ben.

"Am not!" He defended like a child and stuck his tongue out at her. She smiled then kissed him on the cheek. They were so cute together. It was a wonderful relationship they had, healthy and normal. It reminded me of how Jacob and I used to be when we were dating. Things used to be so simple back then, so carefree and worry-less.

But with Edward, my heart is all serious and deeply in love. There are no childlike games, its full-fledged love between us, something that Jacob and I never had. We are completely serious with each other when it comes to our feelings, there is no joking around or hiding behind a bush. Though Edward hasn't actually told me he loved me yet and I haven't told him either, I know that he has strong feelings for me, and I know that I love him. As long as he wants me then I will be fine.

I looked to the door outside the cafeteria and saw Edward and Renesmee arriving, they both looked gorgeous as usual. Edward smiling beautifully when his eyes met mine. I had to catch my breath, and I knew that I was blushing. He looked down and shook his head in humor at me then brought his gaze back to mine almost simultaneously. His eyes were so strong, so full of emotion, I couldn't look away.

"Bella," he said acknowledging me with a loving tone once he reached our table.

"Edward," I said in the same tone, I wanted him so badly; I yearned to be in his arms, to kiss his soft lips. He smiled then sat down next to me, Renesmee sat across the table.

I looked at Edward next to me and he was staring at me with that usual intensity in his eyes. I then felt his hand reach for mine under the table, which surprised me a little.

He smiled at me and I returned it just the same.

"What are you guys doing over there?" Angela asked sarcastically with her eyebrows raised, but she was only looking at me.

"Just talking," I said blushing, even though we actually hadn't said a word except each other's names.

"Uh huh," Angela said, and then she smiled to me. She must have been thinking about what I told her at her house on Friday, how I loved Edward and my whole dilemma.

I remembered my plan that I had created earlier and then quickly looked to Renesmee, who oddly enough looked somewhat down today. She wasn't as happy as she usually was and there wasn't quite a glow to her as she usually had.

"Renesmee," I called to her, she seemed startled when she heard her name.

"Yes Bella?" she asked quietly, hesitant to look at me. There must be something going on between her and Jacob because she was suddenly so nervous around me.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you sometime later today, it's rather important." I began. She looked at me slightly confused, but the confusion only lasted a second. She then nodded as if she knew what I was getting at.

"Yes, of course. Where would you like to meet?" She asked, and then Edward suddenly intervened.

"Why don't you come over after school Bella? Esme would be delighted to see you again." He offered with a gentle smile, I of course was excited to accept the invitation, hoping that this invitation would happen all along.

"I would love to," I said to Edward smiling back, and then I looked to Renesmee, "can we talk then?"

"Of course," she simply stated then went back to her talk-less lunch time.

I felt bad for Renesmee; she must be going through a lot right now. If she loved Jacob and he didn't love her back, then it must be difficult for her. I couldn't imagine how uncomfortable she must feel when I am around. I am the one her love loves. It was like a love triangle. She loved Jacob, but Jacob loved me, but I loved Edward. Well, more like a love square, since four people were involved. I am however extremely glad that Edward appeared in the picture, because if this was just me, Jacob, and Renesmee, and I still loved Jacob like before, then I would like any other normal girl, hate Renesmee for potentially being a home wrecker. Luckily for all of our sake, that is not the case.

I didn't want Renesmee to hate me or vice versa, not even the slightest bit, which was why I had to talk to her. I had to tell her how I truly felt and how I wanted to help her, if she even needed or wanted help to begin with. I'm sure she assumes I know about her feelings with Jacob and she must think I dislike her because of it, but oddly enough, I really don't. I'm happy she is feeling what she is feeling, if not, I'd feel even more horrible for Jacob and it would be even harder to break his heart and choose Edward.

Lunch abruptly ended and Edward and I headed to our third period class, Biology. I knew I would always have a soft spot for Biology; it was the place where I first talked to Edward. It was where we met, and the class that made me fall in love with him. I would never hate Biology for that.

We both sat down to our normal seats, Edward never took his eyes off of me. Mr. Banner began lecturing and talking about the science fair coming up but Edward and I didn't pay attention. We only stared at each other, always smiling and me stupidly blushing.

"What are you two going to talk about?" Edward suddenly asked.

"Oh just some girl talk?" I said quickly, not wanting Edward to know the truth. If he knew Renesmee had feelings for Jacob, I knew it wouldn't end well. It is his sister, and it is Jacob. That combination isn't the best, especially with the situation I'm in.

"Sounds like fun," he answered sarcastically with a smirk.

"I'm sure it will be." I laughed out, although really it wouldn't be very humorous. I then looked away from him and began to think. My face became serious.

"I told Jacob this morning." I admitted to Edward.

"I figured you would," he said, his voice was lower than usual with a slightly serious expression on his face. After a moment of silence Edward tried to lighten the mood, "Am I a dead man?" He said with a slight chuckle. I couldn't muster up humor in the situation.

"He wishes you were." I told Edward. My eyes began to move away from his, I felt so bad for Jacob and Edward was only mocking the situation.

"I probably deserve it, but I don't regret any of last night Bella." He said, gently forcing me to keep my glance on him, though I never would want to look away. "Do you?" He asked and my face became confused as to why he had to even ask.

"Of course not Edward, never." I was shocked he even had to ask, he smiled a little, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"I worry about you Bella." He told me quietly. I didn't say anything, what could I say to that?

"You always have to be the martyr. You always have to make people happy, even though it might hurt you to." He continued. "I love that you care so much, but sometimes we can't change everything. Sometimes it's out of our hands." I looked at his face, and it seemed strained.

"I know, but I hate hurting people."

"Sometimes hurting them is the only way to move on, the only way to let go." He said sadly, "I see you hurting every day, and it pains me to see you like that Bella. I just want you to be happy, and this _thing_ with Jacob isn't helping that. It's unhealthy. And I can't go on seeing you hurting yourself over this."

"I don't want to be; it just comes with the territory. I am a horrible person, disgusting, I deserve whatever pain comes my way." I spat out to myself, I was a monster and at least I knew it.

"No you don't Bella, you deserve the world and you are the complete opposite of horrible." He looked at me with his beautiful green eyes, "You deserve real love, real happiness." I couldn't deny him that.

"Edward-"

"Bella, I'm not forcing you to make a decision, I'm just telling you that you have options." He then added, "Ways for you to stop hurting. I'll make the pain go away Bella; I'll make it go away."

"I know Edward." I sighed; life was so frustrating right now. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but it was inevitable.

"Just remember that," he said.

We were silent after that, there wasn't any more to say.

Class ended and Edward walked me to gym.

"Drive to our house right after school, okay?"

"I will," I told him then said goodbye. He walked off slowly to his next class. The pain I was experiencing was beginning to take its toll on Edward. I saw him suffering now, not only was Jacob suffering, but Edward was now too. I couldn't keep this up much longer. I couldn't see Edward of all people hurting.

I walked into gym with my head held low, thinking of what I could do to make things right.

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**A/N: So what did you think? Yeah I know, this chapter is pretty short, but not that short. Its still good length, compared to a lot of people's writing. **

**Did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Tell me, favorite line? What's your favorite chapter so far? **

**I haven't been paying attention to this story lately to be honest, I definitely want to, I love it but my life has been so busy. It will definitely get even busier in a couple weeks, AP exams, graduation, work, college, craziness. I can't wait though, I am so happy to spread my wings and leave the nest in a couple months. :)**

**Wish me luck as I set out into this world in the near future.**

**But anyways, back to the story. So Bella is going to have a talk with Renesmee. Can any of you guess what might happen? Cause I don't, hahaha jk!**

**Thank you for reading, you are all awesome! And special thanks to those who have reviewed/added me or the story to their favorites/ alerted me or my story. Thanks a bunches! (yes, I purposefully said 'thanks a bunches'). :D **

**REVIEW!**

**Until next time ;)**


	20. Planning

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: I am sooooo sorry for the delay, but here it is chapter 20. Not very long because I rushed to write it and get it out as soon as possible. I hope you enjoy it!**

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My Dark Angel

Chapter 20

_Planning_

I quickly walked to my car after gym had ended, hoping that Jacob would already be long gone…he wasn't.

He stood there in the parking lot, waiting for me, watching me. I slowly and regretfully walked towards him. There was no way I could avoid talking to him, he was standing by my truck. The conversation, whatever it might be, was inevitable.

"Hey Jake," I said awkwardly as I dumped my backpack in the truck bed.

Whatever he was going to say to me, he had to save it for another time. I was in a hurry already; I needed to be at Edward's. It was important that I talked to Renesmee, there were many things to discuss...like Jacob for instance.

I needed to figure out if she liked him, loved him even; and I needed to know what he felt for her. If there was any way that I was going to get Jacob to stop loving me, to stop making me feel guilty, I was going to find it. Deep down in my heart, I had a feeling I was heading towards the right direction.

"Hey Bella I've been thinking about-" he began but I cut him off as quickly as I could. I felt bad not listening to what he had to say, but I couldn't allow myself to listen to his pleading or sadness. His face resembled a child that had just lost his favorite toy; it was hard to look at him, not even mention to talk to him. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I had to let him down, I had to leave.

"Jake, I'm sorry but I have to be somewhere," I told him, but his then saddened expression turned to a cold, heartless face.

"You're going to see _him_ aren't you?" He spat out disgustedly. I wasn't going to get angry at him; I had had enough for the day. I just ignored his insults and continued on.

"I have to talk to Renesmee, but yes, Edward will be there." I replied. Jacob's face changed again, it was more surprised now.

"Why?" He asked curiously.

"Because Jake, I need to talk to her. It's important." I replied irritatingly, I didn't want to get angry, but he was egging it on. Jacob then looked annoyed. He lightly hit his forehead with his hand, seeming frustrated.

"Who told you about Sunday night?" He suddenly asked. That was typical of Jacob, thinking I was talking to Renesmee out of anger or jealousy. He probably thought I was going to confront her about Sunday where she and Jake went to get ice cream. I honestly could care less, but Jacob was the type of person to turn this situation around. He had it all wrong, he thought I was mad, but actually I was happy he had hung out with her. I _want_ him to like her, and I want her to like him. I want him to move _on._

"It doesn't matter who told me, it doesn't matter at all." I told him honestly, but he didn't believe me.

"It matters to me Bella, nothing happened. I love you okay?" He seemed to be apologizing for me, and it was the last thing I wanted to hear.

"Oh please Jacob, just stop it already." I said aggravated, "I have to get going."

Jacob looked blindsided; he didn't know how to respond. I used his silence as my escape, quickly entering my truck. But before I could shut the door, he stopped me and held onto its side. His head was slightly fallen, and he began to speak in a soft caring tone.

"Bella, please don't be mad at Renesmee, she's done nothing wrong." I almost smiled at him in that instance, because right then, I knew he cared for her. Right at that moment, I knew he had feelings for her. The sweet tone of his voice was all too familiar, the care and warmth in it was like a shock of memories passing through my brain.

All the good times I had with Jacob, the sweet moments in our relationship when we were together flooded my memory. Playing at the beach when we were little, holding each other, such a beautiful couple we were, and it almost made me smile to remember. But most importantly, it made me smile to know that he cared for Renesmee; that was all I really wanted to know.

He wanted to make sure I didn't yell at her or hurt her in any way. He thought I would be mad and lash out, or maybe even start a fight with her. I was never going to do that, but his caring demeanor really meant something. Another weight was lifted from my shoulders, and I was so much closer to fixing the mess that I had created months ago.

I tried to hold my smile in.

"I won't Jake." I said quietly, sounding a little sweet. He looked up then nodded, still what seemed to be his guilty posture. He must have still felt bad for the "ice cream" hangout with Renesmee, but I wasn't mad at him for that. I wasn't mad at all and he would hopefully understand soon enough.

He slowly closed my door; I began to drive the car in reverse, leaving the parking lot. I watched him as I pulled out, watching him watch me. His face was sad again, and at that moment, I felt his pain because I was feeling the same way. I was going to miss him.

Even though I was getting Edward, I was still losing a part of me, a very important part. Maybe Jacob would still be my friend in the future, maybe everything would be okay, but I felt that if I didn't help him and Renesmee then there would be no hope for that future. Our lives and happiness depended on me; they depended on me to fix this. I had to save the day; I had to be the hero. It was time for Jacob to find his dark angel; it was time for him to fall completely and madly in love with someone other than me. I could feel it deep in my soul that that someone was Renesmee; I could sense it. I knew it. The feeling overwhelmed me, I had the ability to change their futures for the better, and it was all up to me. Jacob wasn't going to let me go unless I let him go, fully. I couldn't do that until I knew he would be okay. This was my chance to make it okay.

I drove to Edward's house as fast as I legally could. He had already left when I had gotten to my truck in the parking lot. I missed him so much when he was not in my site, even if it was only for a few minutes. I had become so dependent on him for making me happy; his life was like a source of light. He brightened my day; when I was sad, there was no hope for me, but Edward became that hope. In the beginning, his absence would haunt me, it made me remember my dark angel, it made the pain of losing him come back. The pain felt so similar, like the same hole was being ripped open. It would only be repaired with his hopeful return.

I was lost, and Edward found me. He brought me back to my sanity; he brought me back to life. I owe everything to him, but that doesn't matter because he already has everything. He already has my heart.

I saw the small breach into the woods where I had come to know as Edward's driveway. I turned into the deep forest, driving down the long lonely road to his beautiful house. He was already home when I arrived outside of where his garage was.

I parked the truck and jumped out, nervous as to why I was here. I slowly walked to the front door, raising my arm to knock.

"Bella," his beautiful voice greeted me before I could lay a finger on the wooden entrance. I was a little surprised by his quickness, but it wasn't anything I wasn't used to. Edward was fast, really fast; and he somehow always had impeccable timing.

"Hey," I said softly giving him a smile as he gently pulled me in for a hug. He smelled absolutely amazing, scents that I couldn't have imagined so delicious surrounded me as I inhaled his sweet aroma. I didn't dare try to let go of him or end the delicate embrace, I was enchanted by him. The electricity was pulsating between us and I wanted nothing more but to be in his arms forever. He had that kind of effect on me, and I knew no one else could ever have that same touch. It was a one of a kind chemistry between us.

I heard Edward chuckle and then looked at him confused.

"What?" I asked with a little playful grin. Edward's glorious smile was gleaming across his face.

"Did I just dazzle you?" He said in a deep seductive tone. My face stood frozen, but I knew my cheeks were blood red. I was in shock with his voice; it was so sexy, so aggressive, so passionate. I had never heard him speak in that tone before and it was shocking to say the least. I was completely caught off guard.

Edward smiled again and I shook my head out of his trance.

"Yes," I admitted.

"I'm sorry," he said while giving me his beautiful crooked smile that always made my heart skip a beat.

"You just did it again." I said breathing heavily. Edward let out another soft chuckle then grabbed my hand leading me towards the living room.

He sat down by his enchanting piano and began to play my lullaby. I smiled at him as his fingers flowed across the shiny ivory keys. He looked at me with loving eyes, playing without site.

"Renesmee is upstairs in her room," he informed me quietly, I nodded to him with gratitude then walked towards the stairs. He knew why I was here, and eventhough I would have stayed by his side for all of eternity, I knew I had to talk to Renesmee. Edward returned his attention back to the piano, playing softer and softer as I walked up the steps towards Renesmee's room.

I was nervous, beyond nervous; I had no idea what to expect what would happen, how Renesmee would respond or react once I brought up the issue of Jacob. I was afraid she would be offended and angry at my nosiness, I was afraid she had no feelings for Jacob, and I was also afraid that she might not tell me the truth or even agree to my plans.

I walked down the hallway, breathing heavily and trying to compose myself. There was no turning back, no time to leave. I had told her I needed to talk to her; I couldn't just ignore her or retreat. I was anything but a coward, an idiot, a monster, anything, just not a coward.

The door came closer and I took in a big gulp of air as I knocked.

"Come in," I heard her light voice say softly from inside her room. There was no sign of fear or nervousness in her tone. She sounded completely calm and completely at ease.

I on the other hand was freaking out inside. I hesitantly opened the door and saw Renesmee sitting on her floor reading a book. She looked up from her story and gave me a warm welcoming smile.

"Hi Bella, please come in, make yourself comfortable." She kindly gestured next to me. If I could read people, I wasn't very good at reading Renesmee. Her voice had no trace of urgency or panic, but her body language and expression told otherwise. Her face was composed, but I could see in her eyes there was a hint of worry, she seemed to be slightly shaken like she was afraid of what would happen or what would be said. Her body was slightly tense as if she was aware of every slight movement that was made in the room.

"Thanks," I said softly as I shut her door then sat down next to her. I heard her suck in a deep breath as I closed the door behind me. I felt bad, she seemed scared and it was most likely because of me. Did she think I was mad at her? Did she think I was going to attack her in some way? The thought was absurd, but I could understand why she would possibly conjure up the idea. She, I assumed, liked Jacob, possibly loved Jacob; but apparently he is still in love with me. To her, she might think I am here to yell, to argue, to tell her to leave him alone. If so, she couldn't have been more wrong.

Renesmee closed her book but didn't say a word; I only guessed she was waiting for me to start the conversation. It was me who told her I needed to talk to her; it was the only logical assumption that I would be the first to talk. I held in a deep breath then began what would be a very difficult conversation.

"Renesmee…" I said, she looked at me and gave me a slight smile.

"Yes Bella?" She asked.

"I need to talk to you about Jacob." I quickly said as I let all the breath I had out of me. Her smile dropped instantly and she looked at me with horror in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Bella, We didn't do any—" She began, but I held out a hand and stopped her.

"Please. Stop. If you are referring to Sunday, then don't worry. I'm not here to yell at you. I just need to talk to you about some things. I have a lot of…questions." Renesmee looked at me puzzled but nodded her head.

"Go on," she said.

"I need to know something, and please don't lie. This isn't a matter of jealousy or curiosity; this is important and could help you and me a lot." I told her seriously. She looked at me surprised by the gravity of the situation. I then continued, "Do you like Jacob? Love him even?"

Renesmee closed her eyes for a few seconds and inhaled a deep breath. It was as if she was about to be sentenced to death. She was completely tense and scared of how to answer.

"Really, it's okay if you do. I just need to know." I assured her; she opened her eyes then let out a big breath.

"Yes, I like him," she answered softly, "I love him." I nodded my head in understanding then smiled inside, though making sure I was still composed on the outside. I felt such relief, the first part of my plan was complete, Renesmee in fact loves Jacob.

"I thought so," I admitted, she gave me a surprised look then quickly shook it away. She dropped her head slightly and looked as if she was ashamed of herself.

"I'm really sorry Bella. I don't know how it happened, it just did. I didn't mean for it to, but I couldn't help it." She said, sounding like a sad puppy, she was the girl version of Jacob in that sense.

"It's okay; I know exactly what you mean." I told her, she nodded and looked a little less flustered.

Her face suddenly connected a thought, as if she had just solved a puzzle. "Is that what happened with you and Edward?" She asked quietly. I nodded.

"It's so complicated, but in a sense, yes. I thought my life was finally getting back to the way it should be, then all of this happened. I feel terrible about hurting Jacob, and still having to hurt him." I said as I stared at the rug, deep in thought. "That's why I needed to talk to you today."

I looked up from the ground then stared straight at Renesmee. She was looking at me with the same intensity that I was giving her. "You see, I have a plan, an idea."

Renesmee didn't move her attention away. She barely even blinked. She was focused on our conversation, entranced.

"And what is this plan you have?" She asked me.

"I'm not exactly sure yet," I admitted, "I need a few more answers first. I need more information."

"About what?"

"You and Jacob." I said quickly. "Tell me, does he like you?"

Renesmee looked flustered again.

"I thought he did," she said looking confused. "He told me that he felt something strange between us, something that he's never experienced before, like he had feelings for me, but that he couldn't do it. His loyalty lied with you, and he couldn't hurt you like that. He said you've been through enough and that you needed him and he couldn't bear the sight of you hurt after everything that has happened and your history. He was confused, torn even."

I snickered to myself, _so we are more in the same boat than I thought_.

"But he does like you right?" I continued.

"Yes I believe, but he won't get over you."

"I know, and I need to figure something out, a way that will make him get over me. He needs to be happy; he needs to move on because I'm not going to choose him. I love him, but I love Edward more. I want to see Jacob happier than he has ever been; I want him to be with someone that he loves as much as I love Edward." I stared at Renesmee with a strong gaze. "I was hoping that person would be you." I held the gaze then gave her a soft smile; she seemed very surprised by my statement.

"I really do love him, so much. You have no idea. I have never felt this way before about anyone." She said hopelessly. She looked like she was on the verge of crying, I felt terrible for making her have to discuss such an emotional subject. "I feel so hopeless, like there is nothing I can do about it."

"Trust me; I know what it's like." I added. "I need to know that Jacob loves you. I need him to move on, you have no idea what a relief that would be, to know he is happy and in love with someone other than me. He deserves that."

"It's just so difficult, why does love have to hurt so much? Why does this have to be so hard, so confusing?" Renesmee added, her emerald eyes filled with a hint of moisture.

"It's just not that simple."

"Apparently," Renesmee sighed. "It's so easy for others, why does it have to happen like this to us?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I think God's getting back at me. Punishing me for something I had done in the past." I started thinking about the cliffs and Harry. Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy, maybe I was meant to suffer, to feel the touch of love and then lose it all. I felt like I was destined for pain.

"What do you mean?" Renesmee asked confused. I shook out of my train of thought then covered however my face looked with a happier expression.

"Nothing." I said trying to cover up the situation. She didn't know about the cliffs or Harry, she didn't know about my dark angel and my dreams. She especially didn't know about the dream I had with Jacob and supposedly her and I would never tell her, at least not now.

"So what's this plan then… to help Jacob move on?" She curiously asked, looking a little more optimistic than before.

"Well, I want you to be happy, and I want Jacob to be happy. I have this gut feeling that you two are supposed to be together. I feel this way about me and Edward. It is so hard coming out of a relationship for over a decade with someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Meeting your brother made me feel a kind of love I never knew existed. He showed me what true love is like. I can't go on loving Jacob when I know it's not the real thing. I can't lie to him, and I can't lie to myself. He means too much to me, we've been through so much together and he deserves the happiness that I am trying to have." Renesmee was listening tentatively.

"We have to find some way to get Jacob to move on, for him to realize that you are the love of his life and not me. It is going to be difficult and frustrating because you know how stubborn he is. He won't give up without a fight. The only reason this has gone as long as it has is because I dread the day that I have to hurt him. I feel like such a monster and I don't want him to be in pain like me. I don't want him to suffer. This plan must work, or I won't be able to bear the hurt that I inevitably have to cause him. This is my only hope for everyone to be happy, for everyone to have the truest of love."

Renesmee was breathing deeply and so was I.

"I will do anything to help this work." She told me with a light smile.

"Thank you," I replied, returning the sweet gesture. We were silent for a few minutes. It wasn't necessarily an awkward silence, it was more of a time for thinking, for planning.

Renesmee turned to me a few moments later as if she had just formed some ideas.

"Now, where to begin?" Renesmee asked with a smirk. I gave her a smirk as well.

And so the planning began.

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**A/N: Please don't hate me! I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to write another chapter, but my life has been HECTIC lately. I am graduating in two weeks from high school, I just took my AP tests and am now preparing for finals. I've just had so much going on these past few weeks that I could not focus or spare a split second on my writing. Not to mention I have been suffering from writer's block. It is the worst ever! I have been scheming up ideas for my next story, but this still has a good ways to go. **

**Again, sorry for that, I hope it wont take me as long to write the next chapter, but you never know. I am working at a camp this summer, and also getting ready for college, it might take me some time to get things together. Gosh, so frustrating.**

**But anyways, what did you think about this chapter? I hope you liked it.**

**Love it, hate it, had a favorite line, or chapter so far? Tell me, I would love to know! Oh, and if someone dares to bash on this story, don't be a pussy and write it anonymously. lol Grow some balls :)**

**Thank you and**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	21. Serendipity

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, SM does...**

**So... I apologize for not writing in over 3 years...yeah pretty crazy right? Life has been crazy and awesome and I just couldn't get myself to write. Finally, I was just recently inspired to finally sit down and write a new chapter. About time right? Again, so so so so sorry this is so late. Hopefully I will be writing more frequently again. Thank you all that read this story. I hope you enjoy it and this new chapter. **

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Chapter 21

_Serendipity _

It had been a week since I talked to Renesmee about what we could do to get Jacob to move on. We thought of everything, throwing out idea after idea. Nothing quite felt right. I wasn't sure if any plan really would work with him. He might just be the kind of guy that needs time and healing. He might be the person that needs to realize in his own way that it's time to move on or maybe I just need to leave him alone and blatantly show that it was over. The only problem was I didn't have the strength to do that. No matter how bad I felt about it, Jacob was still my best friend and a huge part of my life. I couldn't just drop him like a fly and throw him away. There would always be a part of me that loved him, not romantically anymore necessarily, but in a way that couldn't really be explained. There was no way to describe the feelings, all I knew was the he had a permanent place in my heart that would always be for him, he just wasn't my whole heart anymore.

Renesmee and I decided that I should give Jacob some space and time. We decided that I need to avoid any possible situations that could cause trouble or heartache and that we would also create situations that ended up having Jacob and Renesmee together somewhere. We weren't sure how still, but we decided that we had time to figure it out. We wanted fate to take its course, and we believed that if I was correct on my idea that Edward was my true love and Jacob was Renesmee's then everything would hopefully work out on its own accord. I told Renesmee that if I or she thought of any ideas that we would get in contact with each other. I told her to not lose hope in the situation and that time will be on our side. She was hopeful, but I could see doubt was in her eyes.

Over the last week I attempted to keep my distance between Jacob. He knew we weren't technically dating anymore, and that made him very somber these past few days. He skipped school half the week which made me worry about him. I was hoping he wasn't doing anything harmful or stupid, but it wasn't really my place anymore to know. He kept trying when it came to us though, when I did see him at school he tried to be as sweet as he could. He tried to talk to me and win me over in any way that he could. He asked me to prom again, but I had to turn him down. I felt terrible, but he knew I didn't want to go. When he asked, it gave me an idea.

_What if I tell him that I will be out of town prom night? _Then Renesmee can ask him to go with her and make him feel guilty if he says no, and since he knows I'll be out of town then he'll pity her and hopefully say yes? _Brilliant Bella!_ I thought to myself. This plan was genius, it couldn't possibly fail or go wrong! I wasn't going to go to prom anyways and now Renesmee could have the chance to go with Jacob and win him over! I was thrilled with the idea, so I told Jacob.

"You know how I feel about proms and dancing….besides…I'll be out of town that weekend." I told Jacob, trying to hide back the smile I had for figuring out this wonderful idea. Jacob looked sad, but got over it.

"I wish I could take you." He said quietly. I felt bad, but I had good intentions and that reminded me to not feel so guilty.

"You can still go if you want. Find a date and have fun. Don't miss out because I'm not going." I quickly responded. Jacob looked surprised and then began to shake his head.

"No….I'd only want to go with you." He said lovingly to me, trying to pull at my heartstrings again. It wasn't going to work this time though, I had my mind set on the plan and I knew it was going to work.

"Well just think about it…I'd feel bad if you missed out on a fun night because of me."

Just then the bell rang for second period. I got up to pack my things and so did Jacob. We still walked to class together, but we didn't talk as much. As much as I wanted to give him space, it was kind of hard to. We still had class together and it would have just been awkward if we ignored each other. Either way, I still want Jacob to be my friend, he's always been mine and as selfish as it is, I don't want to change that.

"Bye Bella," he said with a fake smile as I was about to enter my next class.

"Bye Jacob," I said back. "Think about what I told you." I said slightly louder as he started walking away. He looked at me with an expression like 'I could never,' or 'I only want you,' and I felt bad, but I knew it was for the best. If he didn't see it right now, he would see and understand what I was doing in the future, and hopefully he would appreciate me for it.

My next class was a blur because it went by so fast. Jessica told me how Mike finally asked her to prom in the cutest way and how she bought her dress that same day because she was so excited….blah blah blah…

I was so busy with my own life and thoughts that I wasn't as tolerant as I used to be with Jessica. I just sat there nodding my head ever so often and saying a simple 'yeah,' and 'good for you,' here and there.

The bell rang and I was relieved to head to lunch and see Edward and to also tell Renesmee my new addition to our plan. I believed she would love it and couldn't wait to try it. Lately it has been trying on her. She's so in love with Jacob, but he has been so distant from her since the fallout between him and me. We've been trying to change and reverse that, but our efforts have only gone so far.

I walked into the cafeteria and saw Edward and Renesmee already at the table with Ben and Angela.

"Hey guys," I said somewhat chipper than usual as I grabbed my usual seat and sat down. Angela and Ben said hey at the same time and Renesmee smiled.

Edward gave me a loving smile and grabbed my hand from under the table for a few moments. I then looked to Renesmee.

"Renesmee," I called to her. She looked at my way, smiling with her mouth, but it wasn't quite showing in her eyes. She must've been thinking about Jacob.

"Yes Bella?" She asked sweetly.

"I have an amazing idea about our plan." I said to her with a smirk. She looked to me in surprise then quickly collected her face and smiled.

"Tell me after school?" She asked, and I nodded. I was excited to tell her the plan.

After a few conversations and bites of a mediocre lunch, it was time for Biology class. Edward and I headed to Mr. Banner's class and we sat down ready to work on our project. After a few minutes of working Edward looked at me with a questionable smirk on his face.

"What are you thinking about?" I laughingly asked. He stared at me for a moment then opened his mouth.

"Bella, will you go to prom with me?" he said smiling. I was shocked.

"I…ugh…I…I can't." I replied, his smile suddenly dropped. "I…I mean I want to." I tried to recover, "but I don't do dances…proms especially, and I don't dance."

Edward smiled, "I can teach you how to dance," his smiled changed to a smirk. I laughed but shook my head.

"Sorry," I said, "but no one can get me to go to prom. No one." I said humorously. Edward laughed then nodded his head.

"Maybe some other time," he smiled, but his smile was more mischievous than anything.

Class seemed to end quickly and I told Edward I'd come over to finish our project. Although I was also coming to tell Renesmee the plan. Edward didn't know any of it. I hadn't told him and wasn't planning on it. It was mine and Renesmee's mission to help Jake move on and fall in love with the right person. Edward didn't need to have a part in that.

After a monotonous hour of gym, I walked outside and saw Jacob get into his rabbit and leave quickly. I could see him stare at me for a few seconds as he drove off with an expression of anguish and perhaps even confusion. My heart ached for him and the pain I caused him, but I hoped it would all be over and figured out soon enough.

I hopped into my truck and began to drive towards Edward's house. He and Renesmee were probably already home, they are so fast, agile, and graceful, you would think they were track stars or something. By the time I would walk to my car they would usually be leaving the school parking lot already.

The drive to Edward's house wasn't too long, but the driveway was another story. It always seemed like it lasted forever trying to get to his house. I always assumed his family liked their privacy and seclusion, which was understandable, but it really was ridiculously long.

As I finally came up to the house, I parked the car then headed inside to Edward's home. Before I got to the door Edward was already there waiting for me. I was welcomed by a huge smile and an intimate embrace. He kissed me on my forehead and tingles of electricity ran through my body.

Edward exhaled a heavy breath while his head gently relaxed on mine in our hug. I inhaled his scent as he did mine. He always smelled so deliciously, I only hoped that I was as pleasant to him as he was to me.

We ended our embrace after what seemed like forever and he led me into his house.

"Where's Esme?" I asked curiously. Usually she came to the door right away when I arrived. I looked around for any movement in the house but found none.

"She's out with my father; they're having a date night." He said charmingly. I remembered that it was Friday and that many people would be out tonight. I had no plans as usual.

"Is Renesmee home?" I asked, remembering that I needed to talk to her.

"She's upstairs in her room," he answered in his beautiful voice. I smiled.

"Do you mind if I go talk to her really quickly? I'll be right back." I said; I wanted to tell her the plan right away so she could find the right time to execute it and also so I could spend the rest of the afternoon and evening with Edward sans interruptions.

"Go for it," he said smirkingly. I smiled back and headed for the stairs as Edward headed for the piano. I could hear him playing my lullaby as I walked to Renesmee's room. The door was open and I saw Renesmee sitting at her desk working on some homework for school. I knocked on the door frame to let her know I was there.

"Oh hey Bella!" She said as she stopped writing and looked my way. "Come on in!" she continued, gesturing for me to have a seat.

"So what is this plan you have for me?" She asked wide-eyed. She looked really excited to finally hear a new development to our plan for Jacob. I was excited to tell her.

"Ok, so I was thinking in class today that it would be the perfect opportunity for you to spend some time with Jacob if you asked him to the prom." I said quickly, then adding, "He knows I hate prom and dancing, so I'm not going, and just to make it for sure, I told him that I'll even be out of town that weekend. It's the perfect opportunity for you to go with him. If he says no, you could put on a show and he'll hopefully feel bad and take you. Especially since I won't be here to find out, you know?"

Renesmee sat quiet for a moment in thought. Then she looked at me and smiled, "I love it." She simply stated. Right then I knew we had a plan, or at least part of a plan.

We continued to talk details of the idea; we gathered the conclusion that Renesmee would call Jacob and ask to work on the project at some point this weekend. Jacob couldn't say no since their project has not been finished and is due relatively soon. He would have to say yes, and then when they got together, Renesmee at some point would ask him about prom. If Jacob didn't ask her at some point, then she would ask him. If he said no, she would cry and hopefully guilt trip him into it. I was as simple as that, and we crossed our fingers that it would work.

I eventually left Renesmee's room and went back to Edward. As I walked down the stairs I could see him waiting for me, staring at me in the sweetest most loving expression I had ever encountered. It felt like a movie scene as I walked down the stairs to him. I knew at that moment that Edward really was in love with me. I finally really acknowledged the love his eyes and his facial expressions had for me like everyone had been talking about all along. I instantly blushed as I finished down the stairs and grabbed Edward's hand which was outstretched and waiting for my touch. He gently grabbed me and smiled, pulling me in for a tender hug. He pulled his head away and slowly gazed into my eyes, slowly closing them and moving his head closer to mine. I closed my eyes and for the second time our lips met like the first.

Static rushed through us and it felt like fireworks were set off between us. It was even better than the first time. Only this time I didn't feel quite as guilty as last time because of Jacob. Edward pulled his head slowly away from mine and sweetly moved his lips next to my ear.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered into my ear. My heart felt like it stopped for a moment. I froze up, my palms began to sweat, and then my heart started back up, racing now faster than ever before. Edward pulled his face to mine then looked at me with a soft smile. I was so happy. I was indescribably happy in that moment. There was only one thing to do, and I had wanted to do it for the longest time.

"I love you too, Edward." I whispered back. He gave me a big smile and went back for another kiss. I literally felt like I had died and gone to heaven. I was so surprised by that moment. The electricity between us was stronger than ever.

"Bella," Edward softly said as he pulled his lips from mine. "I will never leave you."

My heart melted and I felt like I was floating I was so mesmerized. It was the happiest I had ever been in a very long time. I grabbed a hold of Edward and gave him a tight hug and just held him. He held me even tighter. We both sighed together in complete happiness. I knew I would never forget this moment, _nothing could possibly beat this_, I thought to myself. I was happy.

"Did I do it again?" Edward asked with a smirk as he pulled away from the hug and looked at me. I knew what he meant, and I smirked back.

"Yup." I said cutely. Edward laughed.

"Sorry, I can't help it." He said, pretending to be embarrassed, but really he was enjoying it.

"I don't think you'll ever stop dazzling me," I said, "but I wouldn't want it any other way."

Edward kept smiling and then softly caressed my cheek. I always loved when he did that, I instantly blushed like usual and Edward let out a soft chuckle.

"Shall we finish that project once and for all?" He asked happily, pointing to the piles of books on the kitchen counter.

"I suppose we should." I replied. We both walked towards the kitchen and began to work. Every few moments we would sneak a look at each other, I would blush and he would just smile. I was in heaven today, and Edward got me there.

After a while we finally finished our Science Fair project. I was relieved, another load of stress I could take off my shoulders. Edward felt the same way.

"Glad that is over with." He sighed in relief.

"Me too," I agreed.

I checked the time and realized I should probably be heading home. Edward noticed my reaction to the time.

"Got to go?" he smirked.

"Yeah," I blushed. I didn't want to leave, this was one of the best days of my life, but it was getting late and Charlie would be worried.

"I'll see you soon?" He asked hopingly.

"Of course," I sweetly replied with a smile.

Edward walked me to my truck. He hugged me goodbye and kissed my forehead, whispering once again into my ears "I love you Bella Swan. Drive home safely."

Red flushed my face once again, "I love you too Edward Cullen, and I will." I laughed.

I hopped inside my truck and waved goodbye, sadly driving off, but so happy at today's success. Life slowly seemed to be getting better, like it was finally falling into place again. I was happy again, and it was even better than normal. All I had to do was figure out this Jacob situation and heal more from my dark angel, but from how today went, I think that will quickly be solved.

Two weeks had passed and it was Friday. I had called Alice the night Edward told me he loved me. She freaked out in excitement for me and knew things would start to fall into place. She felt bad for what happened to Jacob but understood that it was necessary and that if all plans go well, then he won't be sad for long. I hoped that were the case, but Jacob had still been trying to win me back, although it slightly felt like he was trying less.

During the week I went dress shopping with Renesmee. She had asked Jacob over the weekend if he would go to prom with her and reluctantly he said yes. He explicitly told Renesmee not to tell me and that was the condition at which he'd go. Either way, I was happy that he said yes and that my plan was working. Hopefully prom would turn out great for them, I was sure they would have a good time.

Renesmee bought a beautiful emerald green dress that would go beautifully with her striking green eyes. Jacob would die seeing her in that; it was definitely a head turner. If Jacob didn't fall in love with Renesmee in that outfit, I don't know if he'll ever fall in love with her. It was _that_ good looking.

"What are your plans this weekend Bella?" Edward asked as we sat in Biology class.

"I don't think I have any plans," I said, trying to think if anything was going on this weekend that I knew about or that I was going to do. Nothing came across my mind.

"Well, if you have nothing to do, I would like to take you somewhere tomorrow." Edward said with a smirk. I wondered what he was planning.

"Where to?" I replied smiling. His smirk grew even wider.

"It's a surprise." He grinned. _I hope it's a good one_, I thought. The last surprise he gave me ended up having me crying in the middle of the meadow. Although that surprise was good too, just also surreal and devastating all at the same time.

"Ok," I said timidly but happily.

"Don't worry, it will be fun. It's going to be special." He said assuringly. I felt very nervous and excited for what Edward had in store for me. I had no idea what it would be, or where it would be. These last few months have been so hard but magical, and these last few weeks have been incredible. Edward told me he loved me. _He loves me. _I couldn't stop saying or thinking it. I was on cloud nine. I was completely overjoyed and thrilled. All of this pain, all of this hurt and emotional discourse was for something bigger. It wasn't all for nothing. Life had meaning, and I was enjoying how everything was turning out. There was still a lot of work to do and things to figure out and solve, but from where I was a few months ago, life was nothing short of amazing.

"I can't wait," I told Edward, and it was true. This will probably be our first real true date, and I was ecstatic. I couldn't stop smiling I was so happy. Edward smiled back.

"Tomorrow, I'll pick you up around 8:00pm. Is that ok?" He asked. I nodded my head in reply. "Perfect." He replied back with a grin.

The bell rang and class ended, we packed up our things and Edward walked me to my last class. We stopped outside of the door of gym and Edward placed his hand gently on my cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said lovingly. He was dazzling me again and I couldn't muster up a response, I only nodded my head while red flushed my cheeks as always. Edward smiled then gently kissed my forehead.

"I love you," he softly whispered after his sweet kiss.

"I love you too," I suttered out, still completely dazzled. My heart was racing and I knew Edward could tell what was going on, because all he did was flash that beautiful crooked smile and let out a light chuckle.

"Get excited for tomorrow," he said as he began to pull away. I smiled and watched as the boy of my dreams gave me that sexy crooked grin and walked off down the hallway. _God how lucky I am._

Gym went by quickly and right when it ended I rushed to my car to get home. I wanted to call Alice and tell her that I was about to go on my first real special date with Edward tomorrow.

Jacob was no where to be found at the parking lot, but I expected that. After our fight and break up, he didn't stay at school very long. Not only was it awkward to see me, but he never liked the school to begin with and only attended Forks High for me. I felt so bad how things turned out, he sacrificed so much for me and I practically threw it all in his face. There wasn't much I could do about it anymore, except try to get his happy ending together.

As I arrived home I noticed Charlie was still gone. His police cruiser wasn't home. I parked my truck and headed to the front door of my house. As I opened the door, I noticed a burning smell coming from the kitchen…that only meant one thing.

"Mom what are you trying to make?" I called out, fanning away some smoke as I entered the kitchen.

"Oh Bella! It's a disaster!" Renee called out as she raced to pull something extremely burnt out of the oven.

"What?!" I asked in shock but also laughing.

"I tried to make dinner!" She pouted while frantically waving smoke away from the burnt meat concoction she tried to create.

"What is that?" I asked with disgust and a slight chuckle watching Renee scatter around trying to close the oven and get rid of the smoke from the kitchen.

Renee leaned against the counter, slumped her shoulders, raised her arm over her head and let out a big sigh.

"I give up. I'm not meant to cook." She let out in a weak tone. "I was never meant to be a housewife." She added.

I began to laugh and patted her on the back. "It's ok mom, we weren't all born natural cooks…..Guess we're having pizza instead?" I said as I eyed the burnt loaf of meat then looked at Renee then back to the meat. She nodded and then went to grab the phone to what I can assume would be a call to our local pizza delivery. Charlie wasn't home from work yet, but he wouldn't be disappointed when it comes to pizza. Pizza, beer, and a T.V. was all he needed to stay content, and it was looking like the perfect night for him.

"So Bella, you have any plans for tonight?" Renee asked as she was looking through the phone book for the pizza place's number.

"Nope, just hanging out with you and dad tonight," I responded with a sigh…I had a very exiting teenage life as anyone could tell. "But, I do have plans tomorrow." I added with a smile.

"Oh how nice honey! What's going on tomorrow?" She asked.

"Edward's taking me on a surprise date." I said with a smirk. She looked at me and smiled.

"Oooo, that'll be fun. I remember when I was your age and going on dates all the time. You know, I don't think I ever had a boring weekend. I was always going somewhere with someone…" Renee kept yapping on about her youthful days. She loved talking about her younger years. She would probably do anything to be young again, that's why she tries so hard to stay "hip" and "with it" these days. She's probably going through some sort of midlife crisis. I hope she's happy.

I caught word of her last sentence as she began to finish some of her stories that I was barely paying attention to. "And boy was that an experience. Live up your teen years Bella, they go by so quickly." She ended with just as she began to dial pizza. I nodded and began to walk to my room. "Hi I'd like to order a large….." She slowly faded away as I headed upstairs. I was so excited for tomorrow I couldn't think about anything else.

I decided to go through my closet and dissect my wardrobe for the perfect outfit tomorrow. I didn't know how I needed to dress. Was this a casual outing? Was it formal? Do I need comfortable clothes to wear or should I just look nice? I was freaking out with all the unanswered questions, and it was only for my clothing. I gave up, hours later with clothes everywhere in my room. I sat on my bed and let out a huge sigh. I'll call Edward tomorrow and ask for a dress code, and then call Alice for clothing advice. _There, it's settled._ I was happy with my idea, even though it took me a few hours to decide on that and destroy my closet.

By the time I finished cleaning my room it was pretty late. I had gotten some pizza that Renee ordered and chatted with my parents for a little while when I finally decided it was time to head upstairs and that I should get my "beauty rest" for tomorrow's big day. I laughed at the thought of beauty rest. I've never really thought of myself as beautiful and that whole saying was always absurd and comical to me.

I didn't know what Edward or even Jacob for that matter saw in me externally. Maybe they liked me for me more and didn't care about my looks? Or maybe I judge myself too harshly, etiher way, tomorrow's surprise was important to me. I want to look my best and if I have to spend all day making myself pretty, I will. _It's gonna be a looooong day tomorrow_, I thought to myself. I readied myself for bed and jumped into my blankets, ready for the challenge, unfortunately along with that challenge was the test of facing my nightmares. Like every night since my dark angel left, I get the privilege of sleeping in the dark sinister meadow alone in the weak starlight. I've gotten used to the solemn place, but every night it still scares and saddens me. I closed my eyes in wait for the dismal dream to takeover, as it always did.

"Bella! You have a gift!" Renee loudly chimed next to me, waking me up in unpleasant surprise.

"What time is it?" I asked while wiping my sleepy eyes and scrunching my face in displeasure. _So much for beauty rest_, I thought to myself.I wasn't much of a morning person, and usually Renee wasn't either, but she seemed excited about something.

"Bella! You have a gift!" She repeated with more eagerness while ignoring my question. I looked at her and saw that she was holding a white box with a satin blue bow wrapped around it. It was beautiful and it was just a box. I quickly jumped out of my sleepiness and opened my eyes wider with curiosity and excitement. She sat it on my bed next to me with a smirk, "it came with a note." She said smiling. She handed it to me.

I grabbed it and read it to myself.

Bella,

Please wear this for tonight. I can't wait to see you in it. I will arrive at your house at 8:00pm sharp. Be dressed and ready for a magical night.

Love,

Edward

My heart was beating fast as I sat the card down and grabbed the box next to me. I untied the ribbon from the box. I took off the lid and pulled out what was a beautiful midnight blue dress. It even matched the ribbon on the box. I held it in front of me, it was an eyelit lace dress, lace cupped shoulders and the dress came down to my knees. It was gorgeous. It had an open back and the bottom flowed like waves in the ocean. I couldn't believe he got me this, it looked expensive, and I'm sure it was. I only wondered to myself where could he be taking me? There weren't that many fancy places in Forks…but maybe we were going out of town. Thankfully, Edward solved my worry from yesterday's closet fiasco.

"Oh Bella, that is gorgeous!" Renee chimed with a huge smile.

"It really is," I said staring intently at it. It was so beautiful.

"Edward has great taste. He came by this morning to drop it off for you." She added with a smirk, "sweet boy." I nodded and smiled, he was such a sweet guy. I can't wait to see him tonight, which reminded me, I need to prepare.

"What time is it? I need as much time as I can to get ready for tonight." I said frantically.

"Oh it's only 9:45. You have plenty of time to get ready. I can help you," she said with a smile, but I was kind of reluctant to say yes. Renee wasn't the best make up artist or hair stylist; I have my elementary and middle school photos to thank her for that. She noticed my hesitant look.

"Oh come on Bella, I'm not THAT bad! We have plenty of time to try looks with you! Please!" She begged with a pouty look, it was almost too pathetic. I couldn't say no to that. I loathingly agreed and broke "yes, you can help." I said with a sigh. Renee shrieked with excitement then gave me a huge hug. After that, it was Renee's makeover day from there.

We spent the whole day trying different hair styles and make up ideas. From horrible do's to decent looks, it seemed like everything we tried wouldn't work. Finally, after many attemps, Renee found a look that seemed just right. It was 7:45pm and Edward would arrive soon. I had my beautiful lace blue dress on and looked into the mirror of Renee's final product.

I was actually surprised with how well it turned out. My hair was down with soft curls, framing my face ever so gently and flowing down my shoulders. My make up was modest yet pronounced with a soft pink lip, and a simple yet beautiful nautralish smokey eye. I looked beautiful, or at least I hoped. I barely recognized myself.

"You look beautiful," Renee said with a smile while looking at me in the mirror with a sense of accomplishment.

"Thanks mom," I said happily. "You did a good job."

"I know!" She squealed with excitement. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"I'm going to call Alice real quick," I said as I headed for my room and left the bathroom, or shall I say transformation room.

"Ok dear," Renee said excitedly, "I'm going to go get my camera!" She hurried down the hall humming away in excitement as I began to call Alice. I needed some words of encouragement right before Edward arrived. I was so nervous it could kill me.

"Hello?" I heard her speak on the other line.

"Alice!" I called out.

"Bella! How are you?!" She replied happily.

"Nervous!" I exclaimed. "I just needed to talk to you before I go on this date with Edward."

"Oh! That's tonight!" She squealed as if she knew what was going on. I didn't remember telling her about the surprise date, but maybe I did and couldn't remember.

"You know?" I asked confused.

"Of course! Who do you think picked out that blue dress you're wearing?" She said with sass, I could tell by her tone that she was smirking. Of course, I should have thought that Alice would be in on this.

"Well do you know where he is taking me?" I asked with a slight hope she'd tell me.

"Yup, and I'm not saying!" She snickered. "Don't worry Bella, you'll have a great time. You better call me afterwards! I can't wait to hear how it goes! I know you look beautiful right now!"

"Thank you Alice," I said smiling. She always helps ease my nerves.

"If you need someone to talk to, you know you can count on me." She added.

"I know" I smiled. I checked the clock and it said 8:00pm.

"Bella! Edward's here!" Renee shouted from downstairs. My heart began to race again.

"I've got to go! He's here!" I beamed. Alice squealed on the other line.

"Bye Bella! Have fun!" She said in excitement.

"I will! Bye Alice!" I hung up the phone then tried to quickly collect myself. _Take a deep breath Bella, you'll do just fine. _I slowly began to walk down the hallway and to the stairs. I could see Edward was down there waiting for me. As I walked down the stairs I could see him clearly. He was staring at me with his crooked grin. He looked breathtakingly handsome. He was wearing a sexy black tuxedo with a white button down and black tie. He looked delightfully stunning. I met him at the bottom of the stairs, he held his hand out for me and I grabbed it, elecriticty instantly pulsating between us. I could see Charlie standing next to Renee, she was flashing pictures and he was giving half smiles while every now and then looking back at the T.V., obviously a little more preoccupied with a game.

I gave Edward a longing smile as did he. "Alright you two, look at the camera and smile!" Renee cheered with delight as we took a photo.

"Ok mom, we have to go." I laughed, edging Edward to head to the door with me. Charlie caught on.

"Have her back at a decent hour." He said briefly to Edward with a stern look. Edward nodded, "Of course sir. We'll be back before you know it." He replied.

"You two have fun now! Drive safely!" Renee said as she followed us to the front door. We both smiled and nodded our heads.

"Have no worries," Edward told her as we headed to his car. She smiled and waved from the house as Edward led me to the passenger side and opened the door for me. He looked at me and smiled "you ready?" He asked. I smiled and nodded my head; he then closed the door then quickly headed to his side.

"So where are we headed?" I asked as he sat down and closed the door behind him. He laughed.

"About that…I'm going to need you to put this on," he said with a smirk as he handed me a black cloth eye mask. I looked at him with a weird and confused expression.

"It's a surprise remember?" He added with another laugh. I rolled my eyes with a smile and sighed.

"Fine," I said as I put it on. "This better be good."

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**Well I hope you all enjoyed that, next chapter is gonna be a doosy! (spellcheck on that word lol). Please write a review! and share this story!**


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